Not A Pretty Girl: Alchemy Dream
Author Note: I can't believe I'm at Chapter 10. Whee, are we still having fun? No, seriously, let me know if you're getting bored on this little ride of mine. Please. Because I'm not nearly finished. It's about to get interesting. Anyways, I wanted to say a few things, the first of which being a big thank you to everyone who's reviewed! I'm so surprised that this fic has been well received. There were a lot of good comments this round.
PlasticStrawberries: I can totally understand the confusion about Paige. Hopefully as the story progresses, we'll understand more about Paige and her role in all of this. I'm gonna quote unleashmysoul on this, "As for Paige knowing about Jay, I would have been more surprised if she didn't. Paige has always just known about stuff like that, she is the gossip Queen. Plus Emma and Paige have always had this secret respect for each other, I support The Emige friendship."That's kinda where I was going with it. Kids give me the hibbie jibbies sometimes, too. (gives you a popsicle)
Chealsea: Yeah, it's weird, I hated it before I actually listened to it, and now it's on constant rotation on iTunes. I guess I can be a music snob sometimes, which makes me miss out on some good stuff! Ugh! I'm glad you liked it, I felt like I actually put something into that chapter.
Grumpybear62684: Thanks for the pointer, lol. I can just see me as a parent five years down the road trying to feed my 3 year old baby food. Sorry, I'm pretty retarded sometimes. Wha? He shoulda been delighted that you spit on him! But go you for trying. Thanks for reading my story!
XxmannyXx: Yay, I'm glad you like. Wha? You don't care about J.T.?(J.T. whimpers in corner.)
BlackRoseOnFire: Yay. I have a lot in store for Emma Jay and J.T., but stick with me.
Stephanie: Yeah, well I can kinda see how they feel, I mean, how awkward would it be to fall in love with a girl who's having the baby of your enemy?
Knightsgurl: I'm glad you liked it. I'll be posting chapters a little quicker, with school looming in my immediate future. I actually like "Lit". It's my favourite thing I've written. I just can't see it as a multi-chapter dealie, though. Any suggestions? I may not add chapters, but I'd like to know how you'd continue if it was your fic. Thx!
Maibe Josie: You're right, I had considered that, but Shawn just stuck. When I pictured him in my head, Shawn was all that came to mind. The spelling is preppy, but a little gritty, as opposed to Sean, which is smooth, being composed mostly of vowels and all. See, there's a reason behind me doing the crazy-ass stuff I do, even if it's a crazy-ass reason. I'm glad you like the spiritual element, I just read so many EmJay fics, and thought "Emma is stronger than that. She doesn't just guy-hop. She has a strong soul that guides her, even if at times her heart skips a little. Thanks for reading. I'm excited.
XxAngel02xX: Well, Emma and Jay and J.T. are all going to go through a lot, I think. Just keep reading!
unleashmysoul: It's funny, I know you don't care, but I misspelled your pen name like 3 times, spelling it "unleashmysoup". Isn't that the best thing ever? Wow. Okay, anyways, thanks for your review, I agree about Emma and Paige. They are great counters to each other. Oh, J.T. isn't just going to roll over, babe, trust me. Thanks!
AntiIrony: Chris Farley r0x0r my s0x0r. Uberly Amazing? Jeez, thanks. I appreciate it, really.
Degrassichick: So glad your fic isn't over. Yeah, you know what they say, the underdog always has his time to shine, and J.T. is definitely our underdog here. Thanks for reading and for the reviews! Can't wait for the next installment of My Finest Hour.
YadoDoBird: Thanks! I am updating as I type this (obviously!) )
RoxyRai: OMG, thanks. I appreciate it! (gives you a balloon)
OneTreeHillGirl: Now someone has! Thanks, it makes me happy!
WildCat Firecracker: Thanks, I'm glad someone agrees with me about Lit being a one-shot. Woot!
Redkissesforyoo: Yay! Glad you liked.
Talia: I'm glad you liked it! Yes, I'm not really even half way through, so yeah, I'm gonna continue it. Those are good ideas. Thanks!
BabyLolly14: Hmm, we'll see about Em and J.T.
Niki Lo: You're welcome! And, yeah, it was like 8 pages, so I was freakin' out.
Newportbabe44: Whoa, back off J.T. Yay, words are fun.
FluffyMello: Shore thing.
Telephoneczar: Yayyayayay to you too!
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Summary: Emma and Jay have finally hooked up, even if it is a little bittersweet. Jay has made it clear that his devotion to her at this point is simply his duty, and how long will it be before Emma wants more from him? Can she really remain in a one-sided relationship? Is the relationship as one-sided as we think it is? J.T. believes that he can offer more to Emma, and when he acquires a new way to help Emma escape, how long will it take for Jay to tire of sharing his "girlfriend"?
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The early fall clearness was quickly embraced by Emma as she laid out in her white porch swing. All of a sudden, her life had somehow stabilized. Her parents didn't hate her anymore, they had met Jay, finally, and Jay had decided to stick by her throughout the whole pregnancy ordeal. She was finally beginning to fit in at Volta Redonda, quickly becoming an "it" girl along with Lindsey, Rowan and Irene, but only through association. The four girls had become rather tight knit. Lindsey was the Paige of VRA, only a rich version with a BMW.
Emma hated to admit that she always wanted to be Paige's right-hand girl. Seeing her yesterday had brought all sorts of feelings to the surface. She remembered the short time in which they were tight, how the prospect of being associated with her gave her the willpower to ditch Liberty and Manny. Paige just had that power.
But now, she was with the VRA power clique. They all made themselves unique from the rest of the uniformed clones, buying the most expensive DKNY argyle knee socks and prim, polished, sleek and urban loafers for each season. Emma had practically blown half of her savings trying to keep up with their sprees. Regardless, they had taken her in when she had been all alone, and she was grateful.
In fact, on this early morning, that was exactly whom Emma was waiting for. Every weekday morning, Lindsey pulled into the driveway, and if she wasn't already zoned out in the porch swing, Irene would hop out of the backseat and fetch Emma. Emma would ride to school in luxury, forced to listen to and adore the latest Top 40 hits. The girls were big fans of Ciara, 50 Cent, and of-the-moment indie rock, such as Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, whom they would only adore until the new Postal Service CD came out.
Emma laid out, soaking up the rays that fell along the eastern side of the house underneath the porch in her uniform with her headphones on, listening to what she wanted to, since once she was with the group, she'd have no say. She heard faintly the sound of a car pulling into her driveway.
7:07. They were early today.
Emma got up from the seat and slung her pink tote over her shoulder and stepped down the stairs, watching the ground in thought, her 2 inch heels clicking as she walked. Looking up to greet her friends, she instead saw Jay.
Jay got out of his Civic and walked over to meet her.
"Hey, you know it's not nice to spit on people." he said, smirking. Emma stopped in her tracks, looking at him, confused, still wondering exactly why he was standing there.
"Look, I figured since we're not going to the same school anymore, I'd give you a ride to VR." He walked over to the passenger door and opened it, gesturing for her to get in. Emma smiled at him and curtsied, walking over to the car. She slid in the all-too-familiar seat, placing her bag on the floorboard. He jingled his keys, started the engine, and backed out onto the road.
"So, where to?" he said.
"School, remember?" Emma said, clicking on her seatbelt.
"Oh, yeah. School. I was thinking about ditching today." He looked at her suggestively.
"Well, good for you! I can't miss. They call your house at noon if you haven't showed up just to make sure that you aren't skipping. My parents would know I skipped." Jay looked in his rear view.
"Well, I'll have you back by noon, deal?"
"Jay..." she smiled playfully.
"Okay, Miss Perfect. This sure isn't the Emma that I know." Emma remained quiet.
Maybe it was because Jay didn't know the real Emma. He only saw fuck-up Emma, and he liked that one better than follow-the-rules Emma. Her smile fell and she suddenly felt very insecure. Jay noticed.
"What's up?" he said nonchalantly, hiding his concern.
"Nothing."
"You seem kinda down."
"I'm just thinking." she said, pulling out her notebook.
"What are you thinking about?" he said, turning into the VRA parking lot.
"Since when did you care?" she snapped, not meaning to sound so angry with him. Jay stopped in a parking space and killed the engine. He stared at her, waiting for an explanation. She blushed furiously and pounded her fist on her lap in frustration. "Why don't you love me, Jay? Is it too much to ask?" Jay looked at her incredulously.
"You wanted the truth, Emma. That's the truth." After she didn't reply, he continued, angry and confused. "You want to know more truth, Emma? I wish I had never slept with you! I wish I had never hurt Alex!"
"So it's okay to hurt me!" she screamed.
"Yeah, but you weren't my girlfriend! It was a mistake, Emma, it was all a mistake. I should have left you alone. You act like I'm some kind of creep, because I made a mistake, but so did you. I've changed, and I'm trying to change for you because I have to, but you haven't changed at all." Jay stomped his foot on the brake, pumping it restlessly. They had just gotten together less than 12 hours ago, and already they were in an argument. He looked over at Emma who was in tears.
Emma knew he was right. She hadn't worked at all to make things smooth. Jay was actually trying, which was highly against his character, and here she was acting like a baby. She knew from the beginning that he didn't love her and accepted it, or so she thought.
"So you still love her?" Emma said.
"Who?" Jay said turning back to her after the long silence.
"Alex."
Jay didn't know what to say. Sure, he wished he hadn't cheated on her, hurt her when she didn't deserve it, given himself a rep he had never asked for. But he knew deep down that their relationship had been over for months. Alex was beginning to hang with a different crowd, and Jay was drifting further from the Montreal crew and no one knew why.
"Emma, Alex had been my best friend for like, 6 years before we came to Degrassi. We've been through a lot, you know? But its like we were growing apart for a while. I mean, I'll always respect her...which after what I did to her, is more than she should give me. But I don't love her anymore. I mean, sometimes I don't know what I'm doing in life, you know." He stopped, knowing he'd opened up a little too much. From across the courtyard, they both heard the bell ring. Emma was disappointed. They never had a chance to talk. She picked up her bag and opened the car door.
"Look, just...call me later, okay?" Emma said, shutting the door and walking, depressed, to the school.
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Jay stood at his locker trying to remember his combination. He used it so rarely that he always forgot it. He was the only one in the Degrassi hallway, since he was so late. He had just driven around for an hour after he dropped her off, sad. He had never felt so bad, confused. He had thought about it, in his sleep, in his dreams, when he brushed his teeth in the morning, when he sat in class. Why couldn't he tell her that he loved her? Was it because he didn't? Or was it because she was pregnant? It didn't make sense to him, but he had a feeling that if the situation was different, if Emma wasn't pregnant, maybe he could love her. He was terrified of being attached to her forever, of dealing with a baby he had never wanted. He didn't know why she wanted to keep the damn thing, anyways. Not like she could afford to take care of a baby, and not like he could either. He was working on getting his job back at the Dot. He was just so frustrated! He just wanted to have a relationship with her, to be able to touch her without knowing that some Hogart-spawn was growing inside her!
I love her.
And then it hit him. She had never said she loved him! For all he knew, it could just be a trap! She just wanted security from him. She just wanted to feel loved! Suddenly, he was angry again. And confused. He grabbed his book crammed with papers out of the top of his locker and slammed it, nearly jumping out of his socks when a figure crept up behind him. Paige Michalchuk stood tapping her foot. He sneered and began walking away. But Paige would have none of it. She grabbed him by the shirt collar, surprising him with her strength, and uh, sharp nails.
"What do you want, Michalchuk." He said with mock-politeness. "Shouldn't you be in class?" She held out a blue slip of paper.
"Hall pass. And what about you?"
"I'm late. So if you don't mind..." and he took off again, trying to avoid more female confrontation. She stopped him again, tripping him with her pointy-toed heel. His books flew from his hands, and papers went everywhere. He looked angrily and strode quickly to her, stopping inches in front of her face. She stood her ground.
"You aren't as tough as you think, Jay. Normally, I wouldn't waste my time speaking to a bottom feeder like you, but I've heard through the wire that you have some relations with a certain Emma Nelson. Is it true?" she said. Jay sighed, then smiled, gesturing like his lips are sealed.
"Oh, I get it, you just think I'll blab all over the place, don't you." Jay nodded. "Well, Manny beat you to the chase anyways. I know you two are dating."
"Dating! She's..." he stopped himself. He couldn't tell her Emma' s pregnant. "She's my girlfriend. You're right." He went to pick up his book and leave. "Now go to your office and leave me the hell alone." He was halfway down the hall when Paige began reciting something that sounded very familiar.
"Lovin' you, like I never have before, and needin' you just to open up that door. And begging you, might somehow turn the tides, and tell me to. Fuck, I've gotta get this off my mind."
Jay stopped in horror, and turned to where Paige was loudly reciting the words he'd written a few weeks ago. It had slipped out of his book! She looked at him, grinning, waving the napkin in the air. He ran back and snatched it, hissing.
"Seems we have a poet here. Very nice, Mr. Hogart." Paige chuckled and walked away, satisfied that she'd done her damage of the day. The look on Jay's face had been the funniest thing in creation.
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I can't believe she saw that.
Jay continued his trek to auto shop, jamming the slip into his pocket. He looked at the clock hanging from the ceiling. 8:12. Well, class was almost over. He might as well veg out. He slowed his pace, deciding to head, instead, towards lit class. Heading towards the foyer, he saw Liberty set up at the stand again, organizing some flyers. He rolled his eyes and started to turn around again. But then, the idea of tormenting Liberty was always a good idea. He smirked and walked over to her, picking up a stack she had just finished, all colour coded and perfect, and dropping it to the floor, scattering them everywhere. Liberty looked up at him, infuriated.
"Jay, if you have nothing better to do, why don't you just go to class. I'm sure that's something you haven't done in a while."
"Oh, like you'd know. Besides, I'm bored."
"Well, you aren't anymore. Pick those up." Jay just stood around whistling, gesturing at the scattered pile.
"Pick them up or I rat." Jay sighed. He hated the fact that she had that control, but she did. Hatzilakos had told him that if he was turned in for bullying one more time, he'd get expelled. For Good. He walked over and began putting them into a disorderly pile. He took a passing glance at the first one and read the column.
Degrassi Semi-Formal 2005
Winter Sunrise
Yeehaw, Degrassi students! Help us bring in winter cowboy-style! Join us for a semi formal for the books, an overnight dance in beautiful Wasaga! Join your sweetheart for a dance in paradise, toast marshmallows around a bonfire! Of course, it will be chaperoned by three of our Degrassi favourites, so don't get too cozy around that fire. The event will take place at the Wasaga Beach Area Rec Center, Friday November 11th, 2005 from 5:30 P.M. To 10:30 A.M. Saturday November 12th. If you would like to try out to play with the band, contact Craig Manning. Tickets go on sale September 30th.
Jay rolled his eyes, but once Liberty turned her head, he stuck the flyer in his pocket. After slamming the stack back on the table, he turned, only to catch sight of Craig. Craig had been laying pretty low since his chick, Ashley had left. Not much had been heard from his band, Downtown Bigfoot, or whatever, since Spinner had gone traitor in their eyes, Jimmy was having a hard time playing guitar in the chair, and Marco had been so busy being, well, gay. He knew this was a bad idea.
"Manning." He called down the hall, but instead was hit head on by J.T. He looked up at the lanky boy and pushed him off.
"What is this, the loser brigade?" he said, irritated.
"Sorry, Jay." J.T. said, moving forwards, but then he stopped. He turned to look at Jay. Walking up to him, he pulled his backpack by the straps casually. "No. I'm not sorry." Jay looked at him confused. "Emma could do so much better." Jay pushed him into the nearest locker, but remembering his anti-bullying policy, backed off.
"Go ahead, Jay, Beat me up again. I don't care anymore. That's the only way you know how to fight. But me, I've got more tricks up my sleeve than you."
"Have you forgotten, J. Crew, that we are together because she's pregnant?" J.T. cringed.
"Yeah, I'm trying to forget. Because she's my friend and I still care, even if I think she's stupid for trusting a stupid whore like you." Jay looked at the ground and thought for a second.
"Do you love her, J. Crew?" J.T. looked at him surprised.
"Why do you want to know."
"I just do." J.T. looked for signs of trickery in his eyes.
"I loved her."
"You don't anymore?"
"I can't." Jay looked at him. For once, he saw him as something other than a big dork. He had real feelings for Emma. They were strong enough that he'd stand up to HIM. Jay. His worst enemy. He almost felt sorry for him.
"Yeah, well, good."
Almost.
He finally got free and chased Craig down the hall. Craig was almost in Kwan's doorway when Jay pulled his leather jacket clad arm.
"Jay, the bell." Craig asked, more than a little confused.
"What's shaking, Manning."
"Uh, Jay? The bell." Craig tried to break free.
"I have a proposition for you. I see you're doing the band deal at the semi-formal. Who's your line-up?" Jay pulled the paper out.
"Uh, me on guitar and...Marco might still be playing bass."
"So no more Downtown Tree-Squirrel?" Jay asked.
"Downtown Sasquatch. And, no. Not right now. Not for the formal anyways. Listen, is there a point to this?"
"Yeah, there is. I play." Craig looked at him surprised.
"Look, I don't want anything to do with you. Or Spin. Just...forget it. What do you play, the triangle?"
"No." Jay looked around, nervously. He knew this was a bad idea. "Piano. I was classically trained from when I was 4 until I was 13." Craig looked shocked. He smiled.
"You, you are Jay Hogart, right? Why do you want to play?"
"Why do you wanna play, Manning?"
"Because...I got stuff to say with music." Jay looked at him, smiled, and nodded.
"So, can you take me, or am I gonna hafta get my own band and run you out of Toronto?" Craig thought for a second. He had lost Ashley, and they needed a keyboardist for the set. But Jay? He's crazy. Just like me. Craig looked Jay in the eyes.
"You're in man." He took out a piece of notebook paper and scribbled a number on it. "I'll be in touch." He went inside the room, and Jay heard Kwan reprimanding him. He sighed, hoping this would work the way he wanted it to.
Jay suddenly felt very stressed. He had already been late to two classes, maybe it just wasn't his day. He walked the once again empty halls to the parking lot to his car. His jaw dropped almost to the pavement.
Adorning his civic were approximately 3,000 condoms, attached with scotch tape. He stood, dumbfounded. Who in the hell would have done that? Then it ran through his head again.
"Go ahead, Jay, Beat me up again. I don't care anymore. That's the only way you know how to fight. But me, I've got more tricks up my sleeve than you."
J. Crew.
As he stood in the parking lot, pulling the condoms off the windshield, he grumbled out loud.
Today was definitely not his day.
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The VRA power clique walked out of the school into the fresh afternoon sunlight after the 2:30 bell.
"Em, next time you get a ride from someone else, uh, let us know, babe. That irked the hell out of me." Lindsay said, heading to her car.
"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I had a fight with my boyfriend." They all gasped synonymously.
"Boyfriend?" Rowan scoffed.
"How come we didn't know about this boyfriend!" Lindsay said.
"Yeah, if not them, then why not ME?" Irene pleaded. The other girls pushed her.
"Hey, hey! We should all know! So...name, how old, cute, how far?" Emma took a moment to decipher these questions.
"Jay, 17.." she blushed, "gorgeous, he lives on the outskirts of the area."
"No, babe, I mean, how far have you gone? Like, kiss, tongue, oral, sex?" Emma froze. She lied.
"Tongue." Rowan looked disappointed.
"You're such a wimp."
"What? Hey, I'm not one who faked a sprain during volleyball today." Emma said, smiling.
"You bitch!" Rowan said, play fighting with her. Emma smoothed her hair down.
"So when do we meet him?" Irene said. Emma thought for a moment.
"I dunno. We're just kinda laying low right now."
"Why?" Irene asked. Before Emma could answer, a horn honked and a car pulled up close to the group.
"Ooh, Oooh, Em! Is that him?" Emma turned to look at the car,
expecting to see Jay, but instead, saw J.T. in a shiny new
Pathfinder. He grinned out the window, resting his elbow on it like
an experienced driver. Emma looked at him, mouth agape.
"No,
that uh, isn't him."she said slowly, very confused. J.T. put his
new ride in park and jumped out, letting the car ding with the keys
still in.
"Hey, Emma! Need a ride?" he smiled. Emma looked at her friends. They apparently liked what they saw. J.T. did look handsome, in a brown track jacket, a baby blue button down shirt and olive green surplus pants.
"J.T.! Where did you..."
"My parents and I left school early to run by Jeremiah Motors. I told you that once I was a junior I wouldn't be walking to Degrassi anymore!" The girls all looked at the car, sticking their heads in, smelling the new car smell. Lindsay turned her nose up.
"It's uh, used."
"Yeah, Joey gave me a great deal. $6000, fully loaded 1998 model." Emma climbed in the passenger seat.
"Oh, J.T. These are my friends, Irene, Lindsay and Rowan." They girls took turns saying hello to him and looked at Emma.
"Em, you riding with us?" Emma looked at J.T.
"No, not today Linds, but thanks." Lindsay shrugged and slid into her BMW.
"See ya, girl." Irene said, waving.
Emma turned her attention to J.T. who was now in the command seat.
"How much did you pay?"
"Uh, I paid $500, heh, but still, it was enough to convince them to buy it for me." He started the engine and turned the stereo up. It played Ludacris loudly. Emma laughed, her face lighting up. J.T. smiled at this.
"I've missed you, Em."
"Couldn't tell by the way you and Toby blew me off yesterday."
"I was just surprised to see you." he lied. Emma knew it. She'd known him too long. "Okay, the whole thing with Jay..."
"J.T., that was last year."
"No. What you told Manny." Emma panicked.
"J.T..."
"No, we don't have to talk about it now. I don't want to. But I wanted you to remember what I said."
"What, about the eggplant?"
"No, no. That I'd always be here." Emma smiled and attack-hugged him.
"I know."
"Look, Tobes Manny and I are having a pizza and other miscellaneous junk food lock-in tonight at my place in celebration of me having a ride. We will drive to the grocery and pick out food, then drive back. How exciting, right?" J.T. drove up the hill to her house, being very careful.
Emma looked at her approaching house, knowing full well that her evening would be comprised of homework and loneliness.
"Yeah, I'll call my mom." she smiled. Pulling out her phone, she scowled.
2 missed calls. Jay. She felt a pang of guilt at not calling back. He had actually called like she had asked.
She deleted them and called her mom at the salon as they drove slowly past her house.
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10:30 p.m.
Emma, Manny and Toby had all piled into J.T.'s new Pathfinder as he took them to their respective homes. Since Emma lived right down the block, J.T. stopped to drop her off first, knowing also that her parents would be the least likely to forgive for a late curfew. They laughed and sang along to the radio, sipping pop and munching fries.
"Hey, keep that greasy crap off the leather." J.T. said, turning on Emma's street. Emma smiled, though sad the night was over. She had really needed a chance to see her old friends. With the vapidness of the VRA clique she'd found herself tight with, and her moody boyfriend, she needed a night with the old Degrassi group. They had watched Pulp Fiction, which Manny had objected to, but ended up liking and cruised around, wasting gas for over an hour after that.
"Aww, well, bye, Em. Please don't let it be 3 days before you call me again, or I'll totally kick your ass." Manny said, hugging her. Emma took in Manny's signature Dk perfume. She felt at home.
"Bye, Emma, sorry about yesterday. It's all J.T.'s fault." Toby said, high-fiving her. J.T. pulled into the driveway, jostling the group as he slammed on the break. "Maybe next time we do this, J.T. will know how to drive."
"Tobes!" J.T. reached back and slapped Toby with a folder. "Bye Emma. Thanks for taking me up on this, it was awesome." J.T. smiled. He got out and opened Emma's door like a gentleman. Manny "oohed" by J.T. shot her a look that shut her up. Emma hugged him gently, and grabbed her bag.
"Goodnight, guys. I'll call you sooner, I promise." J.T. pulled her into one more hug as a car pulled slowly up to the curb, parking. No one noticed. J.T. climbed back into the Pathfinder and backed out. Looking out the now empty passenger window, he spotted the driver of the parked car, who looked very unhappy. Jay glared at him from his red car that blasted Sparta. J.T. smiled, victoriously and waved. Emma turned to watch J.T. drive off, and instead saw Jay, her boyfriend, looking at her from across the street. When their gaze met, he slammed the car into gear and screeched off. She watched until the taillights disappeared, her heart pounding.
She had never seen anyone look so betrayed in her life.
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Well, long again, but thanks for reading. I can't believe that I had to write that with Emma and Jay, it made me so sad. Ugh, I wanted J.T. to fight back, but still... As always, tell me what you think! My updates may start coming a little sooner so I can get more in before college starts and I have no life again. XOXO!
