Title: Time and Again
Pairings: 58 (Gojyo/Hakkai)
Warnings: Alcohol use... no cursing or anything. ( ---- amazed that she actually wrote a fanfic with no swearing :)
Summary: "He regretted it now, much the way he regretted the passage of the years and the wasted time."
Time and Again
In the darkness of the living room he sits. It is night now, the last rays of sun having dropped below the horizon long since. Exactly how long ago, he doesn't know. And truly, at the moment, he doesn't care, doesn't want to know the passage of that fleeting abstract thing called time. It burns in his mind, time, like the consumption of so much wine, and like the wine, leaves him with a bitter regret and sorrow of things that are past and cannot change.
Staring at the large cup of sake held in his cold hand, he remembers the shouts and arguments of former hours, not all that long in the past, really. He remembers harsh words and a pained expression in the eyes of another.
He had not meant to hurt him, to say words that he could never take back. The alcohol, it seemed, had been a contributing factor in the sudden vehement anger. He regretted it now, much the way he regretted the passage of the years and the wasted time. He knew, knew after saying those words, after seeing his face and staring into his green eyes (one glass, don't forget), that he would not be returning to him, the red-eyed child of sin that the demon had spent so many of his years with.
He has nothing now, he realizes. Nothing and no one. No family, certainly, and no friends. Nothing for him to do now, he thinks, but to forget.
He raises the cup to his lips again, and drinks deeply of the intoxicating rice wine. It fills his brain with images of the sheets that his green-eyed lover and he had shared, so many hours past (how many again?). It brings to mind the movement of their bodies, joined so harmoniously in the passion of a deeply rooted desire for acceptance in another.
He chuckles unexpectedly, and then breaks out into loud tolls of laughter that echo through the empty house (so empty, so empty, so alone). He is answered by everything and nothing.
He was wrong, he thinks, as the laughter subsides and he leans back in his chair, the wooden support hard and painful against his spine.
He was not left with nothing.
He still has his regrets.
And the time…
Time is a constant.