The three youths stood there together, their heads bowed down in a silent prayer.

"Ne, Fuji, happy birthday." Saeki placed a really small cactus in its beautifully crafted pot on the slab. A single tear made its way slowly down his cheek. "It just feels so strange standing here… even after so long. I love you." He mumbled inaudibly, so low was his voice that even Tezuka and Eiji who stood beside him couldn't hear him. He stepped back then, running a hand down his face, wiping away the hot tears that were flowing more freely now. He turned, mumbled an excuse and walked away from the other two teenagers.

Eiji stepped up then and this time, he put a blue rose on the cold marble. "Nya, remember this? You taught me, nya, how to make a white rose into different colours." He sniffled as he stepped back, his eyes slightly red. His voice broke on his next sentence. "I'll remember it forever, nya." Tears spilt as he stepped back to his place beside Tezuka.

Wordlessly, their stoic former team captain handed Eiji a packet of tissue.

"You go on first, Kikumaru."

Eiji nodded. Although he didn't want to the leave, he couldn't help it. He felt so depressed. Depression and his usually happy-go-lucky, bouncy, hyperactive behaviour don't mix well. He wove his way out through the confusing maze of white marble and stones, barely noticing the bouquets of flowers that lied on some stones – at least they brought an occasional change to the usually gloomy colour spectrum.

Tezuka waited until Eiji was out of sight.

"Happy birthday, Fuji. We miss you," Tezuka said, sighing softly as he stepped forward and put two deep blood-coloured roses on the cold marble slab. He stepped back. His emotions were going overboard again; he felt his chin quiver, he felt the tears stinging his eyes.

He squatted before the marble slab. "I'd always thought that I'd be able to ask you out one day. I'd always thought that it could wait, at least, until we finish our school or something. But now…" he lowered his head, his shoulders hunched. His voice broke as he struggled to continue. "I didn't know … I should've collected my guts and asked you out on a date, a proper date, not just for ice-creams or a new pot of your cactus or whatever we did when we're out together. Why–"

Tezuka lifted his head looked at the picture in the middle of the cold marble stone through tear-blurred eyes. Brilliant blue eyes looked back at him – eyes so blue it reminded him of the lighter side of the sky, eyes that were once so filled with life, eyes that were once so cold when he sensed danger, eyes that once held a glint of mischief; eyes so captivating he thought he'd drown in them. Why didn't he tell Fuji?

"I love you," he whispered in a voice so low. He got up to his feet again; his eyes never once left the picture on the stone.

The brunet touched the intricate roses and leaves and vines that were etched into the corners of the stone that was at the foot of the marble slab. He ran his fingers softly along the name that was etched and coloured in gold acrylic on the cold stone. The tips of his fingers made contact with the two lines that were engraved finely beneath the other two lines that told of the person it commemorated; his name and the years that he lived.

As he ran his fingers lovingly across the engravings on the stone, Tezuka continued to stare at the picture, remembering the fine lines on the beautifully chiselled face; features so perfect he was sure they were made right from the hands of the Creator. He seemed to be cherishing the features – the slant of the nose, the bump of his chin, remembering, imprinting and superimposing the face into his memory, until he could see it in his mind's eye. Until he comes back again some other day.

Somehow satisfied, Tezuka wiped at the tears on his face. He walked away from the grave of Fuji Syuusuke; knowing that the pain will never be completely gone, and even though it had been a few years, he felt as if time hadn't help, not even a bit. He could still remember that day when the thin fragile-like boy had collapsed; he could still remember the anguish, the pain he'd felt when the doctors told him that there's nothing they could do to spare Fuji's life. He felt so guilty that he didn't ask Fuji out, he felt bad that he couldn't be the one to pleasure or cater to Fuji's needs.

No, time still didn't help to ease the pain that Tezuka's feeling – the great pain and guilt that he'd have to carry to his grave.

-

There won't be any goodbyes.

I won't permit that. And Eiji, of course I remember the blue rose. But the one we made was purple, remember? But I'm glad you can remember the process. I miss you too, Eiji.

Saeki, I'm glad you still remember what type of cactus I like. Take care of Yuuta for me; take care of him like how you took care of us when we were small.

And Tezuka, I miss you too. And don't say goodbye to me; don't blame yourself. I know I'll die one day. I know no one is able to help me, so you don't have to keep blaming yourself, telling yourself that it's your fault I couldn't be cured. I didn't know you have such feelings for me; I'm sorry. I should've known. I should've noticed. I love you, Kunimitsu; it's just that you don't know.

Still, thank you all the same. All of you had been there for me when I needed you the most. And I know it still hurts, but thank you for having the strength to let me go.

-

Eurgh… so I guess it's explanation time now.

In fact, most of you are right… I think. Fuji's the one who died. At first, when I wrote the first chapter, I wanted it to be a one-shot. But then, you'd want to know who I killed in this fic. The thing is, even I don't know who would deserve such a death at such a young age (and yes, the first chapter took place right after the Japan team versus the American team game; which was why I wrote that he defeated the American player). So, I wrote the second chapter. Halfway through the second chapter, I still had no idea who should die. I discussed with my friend about it, and I told her I wanted to make it either Eiji or Fuji. I won't kill Ryoma coz somehow I just can't see him dying that kind of miserable death or something… I dunno, Ryoma just wasn't on my mind. I wanted to make it Eiji at first, but looking back at the first chapter and some of the other factors, I realised I can't make it Eiji. I didn't put in the Eiji-factors. If you remember, the first chapter is written through the dying boy's POV. I wouldn't think of killing Kawamura, coz that's just wrong. I don't want to kill Kaidoh or Inui because I'd already planned the black bandanna thing even before I finished chapter 1. Killing Inui is … I dunno, kinda absurd. And no, Oishi didn't even cross my mind.

Second chapter: I think that should be through Saeki's POV. Because Saeki's Fuji's childhood friend. He watches Fuji as Fuji grows up, he's always there for Fuji, so naturally (or at least, to me), Fuji's death will affect him in some ways, although it's quite hard to write because PoT didn't really show Saeki a lot, and I don't really know how Saeki usually acts. In my opinion, he's possibly quite like Fuji, since they'd been friends ever since they were really young.

And yes, I'd like to think that this is a love triangle, should Fuji be alive. Tezuka and Saeki, both of them after Fuji; now isn't that nice? I quite like Saeki/Fuji pairing. But in this chapter, it probably means that Saeki and Fuji had fooled around before but had never crossed that line. Should Fuji be alive, Tezuka would be the one who'd bring Fuji with him and they'd cross the happy line together. So, yeah, Tezuka/Fuji and mild Saeki/Fuji. Umm… I guess that's enough explanation for you all?

Please don't kill me…