For the next few weeks, things went on as usual. The group, along with Toby and a few other freed Hork-Bajir continued with their plans. None of them could risk unnecessary trips, so Erek was their only real contact with the outside world. He supplied them with information of the progresses and failures of the Yeerk's continued infilration (and junk food for Marco, Rachel, and her sisters) as soon as he got it, but the process was slow and ridiculously tedious, as his sources were becoming harder to contact, plus the risk of his exposure was fatal.
However, progress was made, and really all they could do was wait for the pieces to fall
into place.
Until then, Rachel practically drove herself mad with thoughts of Tobias finally becoming a human nothlit. The last thing she wanted was to force him into a corner, but he was the one to initially bring up the subject of the final battle also being his final morphs several times.
Somewhere between the day they found his father's crashed ship and the present, their puppy love had disappeared. For the first time, Rachel honestly thought her and Tobias might actually be permanent, forever.
Eva's nightmares were beginning to decrease, from a combination of the peace surrounding them and the presence of her precious son. The years of mindless torture had scarred her permanently, but she didn't let them conquer her. She cried happy tears the morning after a full night of uninterrupted slumber.
Jake and Cassie didn't communicate at all, except when they absolutely had to. No one
understood their dynamic anymore. Marco and Rachel could've sworn their friends would be on better terms at that point, especially after they heard about Jake's apology to Cassie and hers to him. But after witnessing the continued passiveness, they realized it would be a long time, if ever, before the relationship ever completely healed.
What they didn't know was, Jake and Cassie's division wasn't born of anger or stubbornness like the first one, but honest confusion.
Jake walked down the rock lined path to the same quiet stream where he and Cassie had destroyed (or cemented, he couldn't figure it which) the very foundation of their already rocky relationship. To make matters worse, she was four or five days late, depending on if things hadn't changed from the last time she spoke to him.
Cassie was resting under a large oak, providing shade from the last rays of the sun in the
evening sky. She looked up when she heard his footsteps, waiting for him to approach.
"Well?" he asked, his heart drilling a hole in his chest.
"It came today," she answered. Relief was permeated throughout her voice and Jake released the breath he'd been holding.
"Thank God."
He slumped against the same tree as Cassie, and closed his eyes.
If it hadn't have, he might as well have served himself up to the Vissers on a silver platter,
with what Rachel would've done to him. Her protectiveness of Cassie was nothing new, especially since their conversation about her and Jake.
Only the two of them knew this was because she was terrified of possibly being pregnant.
He was shook from his thoughts when she spoke up.
"How did this happen?"
He looked at her quickly.
"I thought you said you weren't-"
"I'm not. I mean, how did we get this way?" she clarified.
"I-I don't know."
"Maybe you do."
"I don't know," he repeated, harsher than he meant, and apologized.
"We're better when we're not around each other," he said, nearly choking on the hypocrisy of his own statement.
"Why would you say that?" Cassie shifted to look at him, waiting for his response.
Because it hurts when I'm with you, Jake thought, staring at the unshed tears shining in her liquid brown eyes. silently. And it did. The ache in his soul never let him forget what could have been.
There was a time he knew Cassie would have laid down her life for him. He never would've wanted her to, but it hurt the most to know if worse came to worse, he wouldn't hesitate in sacrificing himself to see her okay. Letting go of all their baggage, then making love to her over and over again only intensified his feelings.
But what kind of screwed-up bastard walks away from the best thing in his life?
Me, he answered himself silently.
"We've been through things that made us different, different people. I don't think either of us can help that," he added, glancing at her briefly before looking out over the wooded banks of the lake.
"But why? Why can't we just be like normal people, and learn how to...how to..."
Forgive. The word had struck a fateful chord with Jake the last time she brought it up, and that resulted in something she still didn't fully understand. She couldn't bring herself to regret what happened that day; if she wanted to be completely honest with herself, she hardly even thought of it as a real mistake. How could being with Jake, the boy she still loved beyond reason, ever be wrong?
It hurt more than she expected at first, but the way he felt, the way he kissed her tears, the way he looked at her...like she was beautiful...
For that short time, it was like the Jake she had fallen in love with had come back just for her.
Then why did he walk away from me again?
"Let go," she finally forced out. Jake's eyes darkened as he sullenly stared ahead. He almost expected her to say something else, but that didn't make sense. Cassie had moved on, and evidently he was the only one lying about the way he felt.
"Can you do that?"
Cassie sighed tremulously.
"Not yet," she said.
A few stray tears spilled from her cheeks onto the old sweater she was sitting on.
"But I will."
_______________
Another beautiful, beautiful morning to wake up to.
Groaning from the bright sunlight streaming through the door way of his hut, Jake rose
from his cramped position on his mattress. He went through his normal morning routine
in a daze, beginning to accept the fact that as long as he let himself be unhappy, he would be.
He really didn't have to try anymore, after remembering the look in Cassie's eyes the day before.
He had just started towards the main camp when he spotted Tobias soaring high in the warm morning sky. When he raised his hand to shield his eyes he realized he almost didn't have to. His brown hair had flopped down onto his forehead, almost reaching his brow.
"Have we been here that long," he thought out loud. Suddenly a detached voice flooded his mind.
*Hey Jake. I was just heading that way to see if you were awake yet. Ax and Toby wanted to get an earlier start than we originally planned* he explained, flying down off his warm bubble of air.
"Okay."
Jake continued walking, looking to the sky every now and then for his friend. He saw that his flight pattern was a bit odd and even erratic.
"Are you feeling alright, Tobias?"
*Me? Yeah, I'm fine.*
No sooner did the words reach Jake when he faltered and fell a few feet, and in a terrifying instant, Jake watched in horror as Tobias's dead weight completely fell from the sky.
___________
Had Jake arrived to the spot of his descent a second later, Tobias most likely would have
fatally crashed to the ground, but instead ended up with a mild concussion from the impact with Jake's strong arms, Cassie concluded after he woke up and demorphed. She looked more worried than any of them ever saw her.
"So, what's the problem?" Rachel barked. Cassie knew the hostility wasn't directed towards her, and she squeezed her friend's hand briefly before sitting on the large gray stone.
"Our first thought that you may not be getting enough in your diet, just doesn't make sense. The general rodent population has to be almost twice what it is near my house. Two, you could simply be stressed. It's normal for that to make you tired, and considering what we're dealing with, this might be it."
She fell into silence, chewing her bottom lip.
Rachel stood up from the ground next to Tobias, who hadn't said a word.
"There's something else, isn't there?" she said more than asked. Cassie sighed and looked at Eva, who only nodded slightly. The two had discussed Tobias symptoms together, along with referring to the thick medical tome Erek supplied for them in case anyone got very ill.
"Rachel, Tobias' blacking out didn't come out of nowhere. I noticed his feathers were starting to fall out, and just a few days ago he told me his wings were sore and swollen."
Rachel shot the dark blonde a chastising look. He only pulled her back down next to him.
"Go on Cassie," Tobias said.
"If it's what we think it is, your hawk morph has cancer, and it's going to kill you."
______________
Shocked, Rachel pulled herself from Tobias' arms and grabbed her stomach; she felt like it had just been kicked in. He just closed his eyes and nodded, also silent.
"I can't believe this," Jake said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. They must have really pissed off someone in a past life. There couldn't be a more unlucky group of people on earth.
"Can birds even get cancer?" Jordan interjected from next to Marco. Their close proximity didn't go unnoticed by anyone, but Cassie just answered his question.
"Cancer can happen to any creature, it's not particular," she said.
The other shrugged her agreement, frowning slightly. Tobias sighed, grabbing Rachel's pallid hand.
"I knew there was something wrong, but I had no idea...Is there any way possible you
could be wrong?" he asked Cassie, almost pleading. But he too knew what her answer would be.
"Okay, I'm not a doctor, but I've seen this before back at the clinic. Even at the Gardens. I'm not certain what triggered it, or even what kind it is, but you have some decisions to make before it's too late."
Marco spoke up.
"Well, can't he just re-acquire a different hawk, a healthy one, and start over?"
They all knew that was impossible, because at that point Tobias's true form was the sick hawk, and there was no way he could change that unless...
"You become a nothlit, Tobias," Cassie said out loud, "you become a human nothlit and your cancer will be gone with your hawk. It's the only way you'll hope to survive," she told him softly. Rachel was slowly beginning to regain her color as she smiled hopefully.
"I almost forgot about that. You're gonna be okay."
Tobias just scrubbed his face with his hands.
"I need time to think about all this before I do anything."
Rachel glanced at him sharply.
"What the hell are you talking about? Of course you're gonna have to be trapped as a human. What other way is there?"
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
The others were becoming a bit fidgety at their tone.
"Well, according to Cassie you don't have that much time."
"Then I'll deal with it," he said quietly, and walked away. Rachel immediately started out
after him, but Jake grabbed her arm.
"Just let him alone for a while."
She glared at her cousin, yanked her arm back, and continued.
Cassie rubbed her forehead, and Eva just patted her on the shoulder.
No one really had anything else to say.
___________
"So that was pretty bad, huh?" Marco said to Cassie, who was picking at a granola bar brunch.
They were the only two left after Rachel and Tobias stalked off, and Jake went to his hut. The boy was always sleeping nowadays, but he never seemed to eat either. Naomi had already secretly spoken to Erek about somehow getting her nephew some antidepressants.
"I had no idea how to say it," Cassie sighed. She hated being the bearer of the terrible news, even more than confirming her concerns.
"I mean, who am I to tell Tobias he has no hope of surviving if he doesn't give up one of the best things in his life, his freedom? Maybe I was wrong about the cancer anyway,
scaring him and Rachel like that."
Marco noticed for the first time how tired Cassie sounded. She must still be fighting off a little of her flu or something.
"But probably not. I mean, face it Cassie. You're Earth Mother. Even when you ARE wrong, you end up being right."
Cassie gave him a small, but genuine smile.
"Thanks anyway, Marco," she said, silently thanking whoever was responsible for putting that boy in their messed up group.
_____________
Thanks Jinako for pointing out the format errors! Stupid HTML! lol