Quick disclaimer: This chapter is R for sexual content (there's an * at the start of it) and it's not essential to the plot that you read it, so feel free to skip over...but in my honest opinion, it's tasteful and does add emotionally to the story. :) RG

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I can't lose you out here...

The frantic words ran through Cassie's head over and over again as she ran into her hut. Freezing and fragrant of sweet pine, she almost felt like she was still outside.

She had no clue how she was able to make it all the way to the caves in a thunderstorm, with a scared seven-year old in her arms talking about a blue deer, no less. But the look of pure relief Naomi's face was more than worth it...even though Cassie's own relief deteriorated a little more, every time she thought of the desperation on Jake's face.

He was just worried about Sara, and Rachel. Nothing more, nothing less, Cassie told herself.

Nothing more.

Taking deep calming breaths, she peeled off her soaked jacket, tank top and cut-offs, throwing them in a corner, and reached for the large navy button-down shirt lying underneath her bed stand. She practically swam in it, but all her clothes had been left out on the laundry line, which was probably tumbling around somewhere near Canada, considering how massively the storm had grown since that evening.

It almost felt unreal how quickly the light rainfall turned into a living nightmare, nearly claiming little Sara.

She was just happy they'd found her alive, but the ordeal had been draining. Physically and especially mentally. It didn't help that they still had no clue where Ax was, or if he was the actual owner of the Andalite fur in the woods.

Cassie was startled from her thoughts by the sound of a steady leak, coming from the thickly thatched roofing overhead.

"Wonderful."

She grabbed an earthen bowl from the floor and positioned it to catch the droplets of water, then sat back on her haunches. She sighed. They must've spent days reinforcing those roofs for bad weather.

She got on the bed, bringing her brush with her. Her hair was drenched, the water nearly weighing her curls straight. She unknotted the strands carefully, trying to ignore the horrible wailing of the wind coming from outside.

Finally Cassie settled back on the comforter, exhausted but not sleepy. She was still worried for her best friend-and Jake.

Why does he always feel like he has to do everything by himself?

She curled into a ball and drifted into a mild, reluctant sleep.

An hour later, the rain was still falling, but it was gentle and almost peaceful. Cassie stirred when she sensed a presence next to her. She slowly rose and blinked twice, her brown eyes clearing and finally focusing. After an awkward moment's hesitation, she leaned forward to hug her visitor.

"What are you doing here?"

"I didn't mean for you to wake up. I just...wanted to see you, I guess," Jake said, his dark hazel eyes reflecting the slightly embarrassed smile he gave her.

"Or maybe I didn't know what to do when my favorite shirt was missing."

Cassie looked down and peered at the sleeves of his shirt, which extended way past her hands, a small smile on her own lips.

"Eva mixed this up in my clean clothes the other day. And I had nothing else to wear," she explained.

Jake shrugged.

"That shirt's too small anyway."

Cassie's soft smile melted from her face, scrutinizing him. She figured he must've changed after dropping Rachel off at the caves, after noticing his clothes were relatively dry.

"Listen...you really scared me back there. Anything could have happened to you and Rachel. She's okay, right?"

"She was mad we made such a fuss over her," he answered, and Cassie just shook her head. Rachel and Jake were certainly alike, in a lot of ways.

"I can relate to her. I can't stand that you think of me as a burden, that I can't take care of myself," she admitted quietly.

In a move that surprised them both, Jake gently pulled her to him.

"That's not it. I never saw you as a burden, I just saw you in danger. If it was my choice, I would've brought Sara back alone. You saw how Rachel nearly got herself killed because she was too emotional," he pointed out, even though Cassie was shaking her against his shoulder.

"You know you couldn't stop her from going."

You couldn't stop me either, she almost said. Instead she bit her lip, a hint of embarrassment in her own face.

"And I wasn't about to let you face that situation alone, as pathetic as that sounds."

"If you are, then so am I."

"The important thing is Sara is safe," she told Jake, and he buried his face against her cheek. Cassie smoothed the dark locks from his damp forehead and closed her eyes, breathing in his rainy scent.

Jake's heart jumped a little. Maybe...

"And so are you, Cass."

So are you.

In an instant, she burst his euphoria.

"I really hate you sometimes, Jake."

~~~~~~~~~

"What?"

She pulled away from him. Her face was flushed, but more sad than angry.

"One minute you won't talk to me, and the next you're holding me, saying all these things...like you mean it..."

He was genuinely confused. He'd been careful to tread lightly with Cassie, ever since their last real conversation almost two months ago. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her anymore pain.

Evidently, he'd failed at that.

"I honestly don't understand. I just, I thought we could be friends again," he said quietly. The last bit of anger left her eyes, but her body was completely rigid.

"Then why can't you always be my friend, like this? Why can't you always tell me what you're feeling?

"Don't you know how much it hurts when you close me off?"

Cassie was afraid if she said another word she'd burst out crying, so she fell silent, leaving only the faint plip, plip of rain into the bowl to fill the quiet.

Jake swallowed, looking down at the quilt, and then at her.

Here goes nothing.

"I have been closing you off," he began.

"But God, Cassie, you don't understand...everything is different now. I can't even think straight when I'm around you, because I cannot stop thinking ABOUT you. Ever since that day...I've done everything wrong. Until now. I mean, what kind of a person keeps putting a knife through one of his closest friends, then waits around to see how much she'll empathize with everything he's going through? I won't do that. Even if it kills me."

He hadn't expected Cassie to actually take in what he was saying without stopping him. In fact, he'd half expected her to tell him to go to hell, and he wouldn't have blamed her a bit.

Instead, she was brushing moisture from his face he hadn't yet realized was there.

"I'm not innocent either, you know. I let you sink. For a long time, before we ever came to this valley. But I won't, not anymore. Even if it kills ME."

Cassie almost seemed to be speaking to herself, but her warm hands caressing him told him that wasn't so.

"Tell me everything, Jake," she demanded softly, her gaze steady in his.

"Everything."

~~~~~~~~

Jake closed his eyes. This was too much. If she had any clue how he really felt...

There's nothing to lose, Jake. Not a thing.

"I wondered if we'd ever get our friendship back again, sometimes," he spoke up, almost inaudibly.

"Marco's my best friend, and he always will be. I can't think of a time we weren't there for each other, even when we disagreed about something. And it may not have seemed like it," he added, smiling, "but we argued about a lot more than just Spiderman vs. Batman. No matter what we said or did, at the end of the day, we were brothers."

Cassie couldn't help but smile herself. She knew how he felt, because she felt the same way about Rachel.

He went on.

"But with you, it's...different. We're not best friends, because it just doesn't describe it...I don't think I can even put it in words right. The thing is, all I ever seem to do now is hurt you. More than I ever hurt anyone in my life. And it's just so stupid, because you've never done a thing to deserve any of it, except try to save me.

"There's only so much you can take from a person, Cassie, before you start to give up. I know I've put you through a lot, and I'll never blame you for wanting to give up."

She wrapped her arms around him, a gesture of silent reassurance.

"You were right when you said I'm not well. My aunt even thinks I need medication. But I don't feel like this is something I can just control with some pills, Cass. It-it's starting to be who I am. As much as I hate it, I can't stop it. Then sometimes I don't just feel like it's me, but MORE than me. Something bigger, stronger. And I'm tired of trying to fight it. I'm just so tired," his low voice broke with tears, and Cassie turned to face him. She kissed his forehead, then his eyes, telling herself not to trivialize the situation with false promises.

"I can't fix this for you, I can't even say I understand what you're going through. But it doesn't mean I won't try."

He stared into her gentle eyes, and wished she could envelop him in the peace he saw there. And as she laced her fingers through his, he realized she already was.

"I meant what I said a while ago, Jake, I'm going to help you through this. Thank you for giving me that chance. I might not always act like it, but I care about you. I care about you so much, it scares me," she admitted, her warm breath caressing him like another sweet kiss.

Cassie didn't really expect him to say anything at all to her, and now that he had, she almost couldn't believe how much Jake really had been dealing with. Painful demons had been haunting them, especially him, long before the blue box situation. Now, all that was left for her was an inkling of doubt, which was soon abated by Jake.

"I feel the same way, Cassie. I mean it. I used to think I could never forgive you for what happened with Tom, but I was so wrong. I may not ever agree with what you did, but I'll never blame you for what happens because of it, and I'll never hold it against you again. I swear."

Cassie was so soft, peaceful, and she was holding him so close. He'd missed everything about her...

Jake knew that the last thoughts on her mind were sexual, and until that point his weren't either, but he couldn't help but want to be closer to her again, in every way.

At the same time, he didn't want to fall into a destructive pattern, and he seriously didn't want to ruin the slowly growing trust they messed up months ago.

He slowly disengaged himself from her, and stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't stay. Marco and his mom don't know I made it back okay. Thanks Cass, for everything," he said before walking towards the open door way of the cabin.

"Don't thank me yet."

~~~~~~~

Her chocolate brown eyes were bright but still a bit tired, yet the look on her face was wide awake.

Jake wanted to turn away from it and keep walking, and nearly did so before she left the quilt on top he comforter and padded over to him. She smiled softly before reaching up to plant kisses along his jaw line, when she cradled his head in her hands to kiss him squarely on his mouth.

Cassie blushed as he claimed the kiss as his own, his tongue gently exploring her mouth, his soft lips leaving hers tender and swollen. She had missed this.

"Cassie," he murmured faintly, almost to remind himself he wasn't dreaming.

"Jake," she whispered, her hand playing with the soft hairs of his neck, "that tickles."

He lifted his lips from her throat to give her his beautiful slow smile.

"Sorry," he said, and before she could say another word he closed his mouth over hers once more. Cassie pressed into him until it became too much to bear.

"Seriously, I've got to go."

"Why?

"I want what's best for you," Jake answered honestly.

"He's here," Cassie answered, her forehead pressed against his chest.

Jake took her face into his hands, trying to memorize the way her dewy smooth skin felt and how her luminous eyes shone in the moonlight. Every time he felt like he was suffocating, like he was dying in the dark hollows of his mind, he knew he would think of the look on her face, right then.

"Okay."

He still felt some residual guilt about the first time they slept together. He never should've pushed her to be with him, despite the fact she was the one to reach out in the first place.

In a way, Jake almost felt as if Cassie was his weakness, as well as strength. His attraction to her would probably never wane as much as he hoped it would, and he still hadn't figured out if that was a good or a bad thing, in terms of wanting to be a better friend to her.

Cassie smiled a little up at him and placed her hands on his shoulders, practically reading his mind.

*"I'm happy you're here, Jake, but only you know what you want."

He gently outlined her face with the pad of his thumb, bringing a sigh from her as he trailed it over her lips. He kneeled between legs after she backed up to sit on the bed, sliding his own hands under her shirt and over her full breasts, down her stomach, and softly kissed her there.

"That was never the question, Cassie."

She felt a rush of raw emotion come over her, and a slow tear spilled over her eyelid. She remembered how amazing he was capable of making her feel, but she never expected to experience such a tangible vulnerability.

He looked up at her, his eyes nearly black, when she stroked his cheek.

"For me, either."

She slid her shirt off completely, as he silently admired the beauty waiting for him.

"Cassie..."

She held in her breath and closed her eyes as Jake nearly killed her with pleasure. Every touch held a thousand sensations, all of them bringing back memories, good and bad...hopefully, from now on, every memory she made with Jake would be a beautiful one.

"Open your eyes," he said and she smiled but kept her eyes closed when she held his head in her hands to kiss him.

Jake threaded one of his hands through hers as he joined her on the bed. He said something inaudible as she moved her hands to the waist of his cargo shorts and boxers, and lifted his body off hers only to aid in her removal of the only thing between them. She kissed him so sweetly, it almost sent him over the edge.

Jake brushed her hair away from her forehead, staring at her calm face as he settled between her legs.

"You've got to promise not to hate me tomorrow," he said, only slightly joking.

She shook her head, her hands on his face, her gaze mirrored in his.

"Only if you're the first thing I see when I wake up."

Her eyes glazed over as his hands went to her hips, when he completely entered her, and they kissed.

"Promise," he said against her lips, as they slowly began moving together, now oblivious to the rainy night outside.

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