Hiding Under the Ninth Earth
Backstory 01 : All Through the Night

Chapter Three : While the Weary World is Sleeping

6 December 2003

Their sleep had been barely adequate, full of broken dreams, disturbing his and Harry's equally restless slumber. However, considering what had preceded it, Severus supposed it was better than the 'none' it might have been. As it was, Harry had climbed out of bed before he'd awakened and had thoughtfully ordered breakfast, the morning somehow not lending itself well to their normal Saturday morning 'rituals'. They were eating the simple meal in unusual silence; not an uncomfortable one by any means, but rather the kind of silent sharing one experiences with a loved one when both are thinking hard about the same sort of things.

And they both had much to think about.

Though it may have felt like forever, they'd only been at the hospital with Perrin a couple of hours after he arrived. Dumbledore hadn't been patient: "We really should be going. He needs his sleep."

Severus had to ask in the light of day if it had been enough. "Leave him be, Albus," he'd whispered, "he'll have a lifetime for sleeping."

Perrin must have heard him; Albus hadn't tried to be quiet. Had the boy felt pressured to leave? Had he thought of everything he wanted to say?

--'Don't leave me, I'll be good.'--

Had Perrin said everything he'd needed to say?

--'Mum? I love you.'--

Or was there an empty place within him full of all the unspoken words he'd think of later?

--'When are you coming back?'--

Those he didn't know how to unsay?

--'Mum, I hate you for leaving me.'--

The words he would never be able to utter?

--'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.'--

Was forever time enough? "He needs another opportunity," Severus mused, sipping his tea.

"With his mother?"

"Mmmm."

"Good idea. I'll tell Albus."

Waiting a beat to see if Severus had more to say, Harry returned to his thoughts of the night before, what he'd seen. Perrin's silence had been the hardest to take.

--A bowed head--

It had torn Harry inside to watch him.

--A small figure kneeling by the bed--

He'd looked like he wanted to will her awake.

--Tearless eyes staring at his mother's still face--

Did he want to follow her?

--A small hand gripping hers.--

How often had he done that when she was alive?

--A firm hand stroking her hair.--

Had she ever let him brush it?

--Laying his cheek on her hand--

Could his heart warm her hands?

"Did you find it odd that Perrin never spoke or cried?" Harry asked.

Severus shrugged, playing with his napkin on the table. "Not really. The boy strikes me as someone who internalizes everything. He's quiet--obedient almost to a fault." He chuckled. "Actually listens in Potions, which I assure you is a novelty." A long silence followed. "I never cried for my mother. Didn't mean I didn't miss her, though."

"Ah, I see." Harry paused. "Can't imagine not doing so."

"Can't imagine carrying on the way you do."

"Mmmm. Point taken." A few moments passed. "Not going to change me, though."

"Not sure I want it to."

"Mmpph."

Early on, Harry had thought perhaps he could comfort the boy (although he didn't know how), but Severus had held him back, saying in quiet tones, "Perrin needs this time alone." All right.

Later, Albus had tapped Harry on the shoulder with a silent nod at the boy, his meaning clear--end it. Still unprepared, Harry had experienced a moment's anxiety until Severus had leaned over, whispering, "Together." Squeezing his husband's hand, the two of them had approached Perrin, sitting back on their heels, on either side of the boy. Both had reached out to him, lightly stroking the rigid muscles under thin shoulders.

Harry had never felt more useless in his life, his usually glib tongue deserting him. Thankfully, Severus had no such problem and had quietly told Perrin, "Take all the time you need. We'll wait for you, right here." Perrin had actually lifted his head to stare at Severus--anguished, dry eyes to depthless black--a silent exchange, soon over, but something had been said. A quarter hour later, Perrin had wordlessly stood to leave, his guardians stiffly following.

Quietly making their way to the staff room to Floo back to Hogwarts, Perrin chose to walk beside Severus. When they left St. John's, it was Severus' hand Perrin had held through the transfer. Back at Hogwarts, he and Severus had accompanied Pomona and Perrin to the door of the infirmary, where, without a backward glance or a sound uttered, the boy went in with Sprout.

Unmindful of who might come, Severus had held Harry a long time out in the hallway. A weary time later, after hastily undressing, they'd climbed into bed, tangling only by habit. The last thing Harry heard before drifting off to sleep in his lover's arms was Severus saying, "It's never easy, is it?"

"No, it never is," Harry murmured, picking up his teacup.

"Hmmm?" Severus asked, looking over at him from staring out the window.

"Sorry--was just thinking on what you said last night. I never did thank you, did I?"

"Yes, you did--while we were waiting for Albus to return."

"Oh. No, I meant afterwards. With Perrin. I mean, I hadn't a clue what to say, but he seemed to draw comfort from you. Are you sure you shouldn't be his guardian? You're ever so much better at it than I."

While Severus just raised a brow, Harry could feel his words had pleased his husband. "Considering our relationship, I suspect it doesn't much matter, although I'm not the one Albus approached, if you'll recall."

"True, pretty stupid of me really, thinking that because I was an orphan I could relate," Harry said bitterly. "After last night I realise I've no experience in this kind of thing, not even with my own parents gone. I grew up without them, never knew them except through dreams and such, but I can't imagine what Perrin must be going through."

Severus covered Harry's hand with his own. "You felt nothing, then, when Sirius died?"

Harry looked at him sharply, "Of course I did, but that's different. Sirius wasn't my parent, and I'd caused his death."

Severus curled his fingers over Harry's as he leant forward. "Whether someone is blood or not makes no difference when you love. You hurt--you grieved when Sirius died. Your anger grew from self-loathing, from what you perceived you'd done and an unconscious reaction to people lying to you." Harry just stared at him. "And you don't think Perrin feels the same way?"

"How could he--?" Harry stopped when he saw Severus' serious face. "You think he does?"

Severus nodded. "The perception is always the emotional reality and sometimes bears little resemblance to fact. At some past time, he's certainly been angry. At his mother for telling him he was all she needed, that it was just the two of them, and then remarrying. At her choice of husband. He might have wished his mother 'gone' when she 'abandoned' him. Each perception, each thought, whether true or not, will eat at him inside like a canker now, just like it did you then. No, Harry, I think you know far more about all of this than you credit yourself."

"How--?

"Time, love. It doesn't happen overnight. Didn't you come to accept Sirius' death? Over time?"

Harry sighed. The answer was in Severus' loving eyes and the hand giving its own comfort over his own. Nodding, he changed the subject. "When is the old man expecting us?"

Severus tipped his head back and closed his eyes. "Hmmm. We're to meet the blighter--" he looked at the clock. "--in another forty minutes. After that, I would assume the rest of the morning is ours until two when we all meet with the Dissolutioner."

"Well, then, I suppose we should be getting ready. You want the shower first?"

"I'd rather have a bath." Severus stood, sighing. "No time for a proper one, though." He bent and gave Harry a soft kiss. "Probably need it more after talking to Albus."

"I'll scrub your--back," Harry replied teasingly, cupping Severus' cheek while he kissed him again.

A smile curling his lip, Severus merely grunted and went off to shower.

Half an hour later, they left to see Dumbledore. Climbing the stairs, Harry said hesitantly, "Severus, I've been thinking--"

Severus snorted. "Always a dangerous thing--"

"--for a Gryffindor to do, I know." Harry finished, chuckling. "Seriously. I've been in situations more--dangerous--than last night and yet the bond has never reacted before. Calling you, that is. I'm sorry for that--didn't intend to be such a bloody nuisance."

"Harry, you weren't--"

"And I've been thinking," he glanced warily at Severus, noting his thin-lipped interest, "that perhaps it was because I used the pendant--" His voice trailed off. "Well, it's the only thing 'different' I can think of."

"Interesting theory. Quite possible, in fact," Severus said, his face thoughtful. He stopped them once they reached the headmaster's stair, his forehead furrowed. Framing Harry's face with his hands, he said raggedly, "Don't ever apologise for needing me, all right?"

Holding his husband's wrist, Harry turned his head, gently kissing the palm and whispered, "You know I do. I always will."

Severus dipped to kiss him tenderly, their eyes never leaving each other. He nodded and, as if realising where they were, stepped back, briskly calling out the password, "Ling-Hing-Mui." Snickering at Albus' strange 'tastes', they rode the stairs in companionable silence.

Albus met them at the top of the stairs. Severus and Harry exchanged raised brows at his lemon-yellow gargoyle slippers peeping out from under a bright blue robe as he preceded them into his office. Seating himself, Albus said, "Poppy reports that the boy is still sleeping." Pouring and handing them both a steaming cup of tea, he added, "Harry, I hope you don't mind, but in the interests of time, I told Pomona this morning about your legal status as guardian and your rather--novel--request."

Harry concentrated on the scalding liquid, changing its Schema to a lower temperature. "That's fine, Albus," Harry replied, taking a cautious sip. Grinning smugly, he touched Severus' cup, noting his smirk. "I'm surprised you'd not told her sooner."

Albus smiled briefly. "It was unnecessary before, although she has some--opinions--about the wisdom of your intended course."

Harry refused to ask. He already had the opinion that really mattered to him--and Severus had agreed.

When Harry said nothing, Albus cleared his throat and pulled over a piece of parchment. "The Dissolutionment is scheduled for sunset today; there should be plenty of time for us to explain to the boy what's going on before Alex prepares everything."

Harry asked, "Alex?"

"The Dissolutioner. For what it's worth, Arthur supports your decision and suggested the man, saying he's more liberal than most. He's also allowing us to stand as the required Ministry witnesses, so we can also keep it small and private. Is this acceptable?"

"Very--and much appreciated." Harry said quietly. "It'll be worth the extra paperwork to keep it simple for Perrin; the law and the remaining decisions are complicated enough." He set his cup down. "I assume Priscilla left no estate?"

"None we can access, I'm afraid. There was a substantial," he pulled over some more papers, "ah, here it is, 'Life Insurance Policy' taken out on her two years ago made over to Mendino. All the accounts are in his name, so no, Perrin will have no access to any of her funds."

"That's not what I meant," Harry said impatiently, "I have ample money." He paused. "You will be monitoring those accounts, though--yes?"

"Absolutely! It may be the only means we have of catching Mendino." He held up some different paperwork. "While HM Coroner for Outer North London and the Office of Muggle Affairs are doing their usual bickering about the inquest, the autopsy, and no body for any of it, the ensuing confusion should buy us enough time to locate him."

"Good. I'd hate to see the bastard get away," Harry declared firmly.

Severus sat forward, his hands loose over his crossed legs. "I have a question, old man--how did you know to come to St. John's last night?"

Startled, Harry watched Albus sit back in his chair holding his teacup like a shield. "When Moody fire-called me, I didn't think much of it, and when you got the Owl, Severus, I guessed he'd found Harry, as I'd suggested." He sipped his tea. "However, when the castle informed me of your rather--rapid--departure an hour later, I thought perhaps there was some difficulty. So I contacted the evening Diviner at the Ministry and was told Edwards had registered a room as 'occupied' by Wizards. I went 'there' to see if I could be of any assistance. Quite simple, really."

While Severus merely raised a sceptical brow, Harry pursued it further. "But that doesn't explain how you 'knew' it was Priscilla Mendino."

Albus calmly gazed at him over his spectacles. "I didn't know before I left. However, the Order's been searching for her; I recently received a few Muggle photos and thus recognized her immediately."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "And you never told me this before?"

His regard steady, Albus replied, "No, there was no reason to do so. You and Severus were 'retired'--I might have done so had you still been members of the Order, but--"

Harry exploded. "Bloody hell! Considering I'm in contact with Muggles more than any of the others, you should have at least given me the photos. I am Perrin's guardian after all, which, I believe, gives me some rights."

Before Harry could draw another breath, Severus asked, "If the 'Order' was looking for her, why didn't Moody recognise her?"

Albus sighed as if relieved by his question. "Moody 'retired' the week after you came back from your honeymoon. What happened yesterday was pure chance."

"Most unfortunate," Severus said reflectively.

"What's unfortunate is that I didn't know who she was beforehand," Harry huffed.

"What purpose would that have served?" Albus asked reasonably.

"Oh, I don't know," Harry retorted sarcastically, "I could have called in another healer? Perhaps had Perrin brought to St. John's before she died?"

"And having the boy there--would it have saved her?" Albus now sounded a bit defensive.

"No, but Perrin could have sat vigil with us. I worked on her for almost two hours before I gave it up and then had over two more before the end; he would be better prepared now had he been there to say a proper goodbye."

With asperity, Albus asked, "To what? A diseased corpse? Would that have been the proper last memory for the boy?"

Harry threw his hands in the air, crying, "His name is Perrin, damn it!" Calming only a bit, he added, "She had Curse Pox, it was the first thing I healed; by the time Perrin could have arrived, she would have looked as you saw her last night."

They glowered at each other for several moments before Albus declared heatedly, "I stand by my decision."

Before Harry could reply, Severus cleared his throat. "Since you're both right, may I suggest we all retire to--cool down--before we meet with Perrin later this afternoon--or say something irretrievable?"

Harry stared at his husband, his roiling anger barely controlled. Standing, he turned baleful eyes on Albus and spat, "Fine! We have nothing more to discuss in any event."

Severus sighed and, levelling a scorching glare at Albus, left the office muttering, "M'Sorry I asked," with Harry in agreement, close behind him.

Ling-Hing-Mui : Seeds. An acquired taste in the islands made of mui (dried sour Japanese plums, with a seed in the middle) coated with 'ling-hing' powder (licorice, sugar, and salt). Indescribable, and once addicted, actually tastes good in beer (don't go there).

TBC