Hiding Under the Ninth Earth
Backstory 01 : All Through the Night

Chapter Six : Soft the Drowsy Hours are Creeping

6 December 2003 (Continued)

The long hours of wakefulness last night combined with the stress of the day were starting to catch up with Harry. Barely attending the velvet baritone of his mate quietly talking to Albus about the staffing arrangements for the upcoming holidays, he fought the impossibly heavy weight of his eyelids. With Perrin between them, he couldn't even rely on Severus to keep him conscious with his amusing, if sometimes inappropriate, images. Fortunately, about the time he was about to stop struggling with the impulse, Alex arrived and they got down to business.

After the introductions, Alex asked, "Do you have any questions?" addressing his query to Perrin more than the others.

Harry waited a beat. When Perrin just stared back at the Dissolutioner in mild panic, he smiled warmly, saying, "Just one-I believe we're fairly clear on the rest of it."

"Good," Alex replied with a small smile. "How may I help?"

"It's our understanding that the ceremony should take place immediately following sunset; however, if Perrin wishes to spend time with his mother beforehand, does this mean he needs to be there prior to sundown, or do we gather at the appointed time and start when he's ready?"

"A most unusual request," Alex remarked, tilting his head. "Because the ceremony's timing is not arbitrary, it would be best if you arrive before the ceremony so we can begin the Dissolutionment when the magic is at its fullest. Do you know how long you'll need?" he asked Perrin gently.

Perrin shook his head rather frantically and, with understanding, Alex told him quietly, "It's all right-you still have some time to decide." He turned to Harry. "Where will I bring her?"

"We've prepared a room here in the castle," Harry answered quickly. "Headmaster Dumbledore will give you a Portkey before you leave."

Albus held up a red knitted house-elf cap. "Tell me when you wish to arrive, Alex, and I can finish this quickly for you."

"Thank you," Alex said, smiling broadly, "that's more than I expected."

Sobering, he pulled a small roll of parchment out of his robes and laid it flat on the desk. Sighing heavily, he explained, "Given how Mrs. Mendino died, I regret we must satisfy the triplicating bureaucrats." He pulled out a quill and wet the tip with his tongue. "How many will be attending the ceremony, what is their relationship to the deceased, and who will stand as witnesses for the Ministry?"

Harry fell into the stop-and-start rhythm one uses when someone else is filling out a form as he replied, "Not counting yourself, there will be five of us: Perrin Long, son of the deceased and his friend Becky Gardener, both minors; they will be accompanied by me, Harry Snape-Potter, Mr. Long's legal guardian." While he waited for Alex to catch-up, Harry rolled his eyes at the formality and noticed Perrin dropping his head to hide a small smile. "Professor Severus Snape-Potter and Headmaster Albus Dumbledore will stand as the required Ministry witnesses as authorised by Arthur Weasley, Minister of Magic. Albus Dumbledore will also stand as Miss Gardener's guardian by proxy for this event. It should be noted that for Mr. Long and Miss Gardener, we are waiving the Exclusion Traditions."

Alex nodded, thanking him absently. Once completed, he passed the document to the three adults, studying their faces as they each signed. Sitting back in his chair, he took his time folding it as he stared at Perrin who, glazed eyed and day-dreaming, remained oblivious. He next focussed on Severus, who raised a brow at the scrutiny; when his gaze turned to Harry, who had been closely watching him as well, he nodded as if making a decision.

"Perrin?" the Dissolutioner asked quietly.

The shy boy startled when addressed. "Yes, sir?"

"I've been thinking-since you've requested to see your mother beforehand, would you prefer instead to stand with her during the ceremony?"

"Stand, sir?" Perrin asked, clearly confused.

Harry felt the same way and a quick glance at Severus and Albus revealed their surprise, but he thought it was more about the offer than any ignorance of it. Harry asked, "Stand, Alex? What does that entail? I confess I've never heard of it."

"While not done often, to actively participate in the ceremony is sometimes offered privately to direct blood kin or a bonded spouse." He turned his attention back to Perrin, "This means you would stand with me and-feel-your mother's Dissolutionment. People usually find it comforting and it's considered a 'proper' way to say goodbye, if there is such a thing."

Staggered by a sudden burst of emotion from his husband, Harry barely heard Alex finish, "As you know, by tradition, children are usually excluded from attending the ceremony in the first place, let alone share in it, but since you and your spouse have already dispensed with some of the other customs, I thought this was, perhaps, one more we could consider. The only condition I would place is that either you or Professor Snape stand with Perrin. I'm sorry I can only extend the privilege to two people-it is outside of my abilities to invite more and still control the magic."

Harry glanced at Severus and Perrin, one thinking hard, the other panicked. "Can we have a few minutes to discuss it?" Harry asked.

Albus answered, "Certainly, my boy. Why don't you use the table in the back so you can have some privacy."

"Thank you, Albus," Harry said, following Severus and Perrin over to the area under the stair. He was disturbed over Severus' internal reaction but, knowing their time was short, asked instead once they were seated, "Severus, what do you know of this?"

Obviously uneasy, he paused before replying, "No more than what Alex has said. I've never attended a Dissolutionment as more than a perfunctory witness. I confess it never occurred to me that he would make the offer."

Perrin asked curiously, "Have you been to many?"

Severus regarded him a long moment until the boy began to fidget. With a heavy sigh, he answered, "Yes, I have been to more than my share; the Dissolutionment of those who died badly in battle was an unfortunate consequence of the war."

Harry knew what pain the words hid and why his husband hesitated to mention it, even if Perrin didn't. As he remarked, "That was my experience as well," it was the most natural thing in the world to cover Severus' hand resting on the table with his own. Surprised at how cold the fingers were, he glanced at Severus in concern. He could feel Perrin watching the exchange with interest but honestly felt that if they were going to make a family, the boy needed to understand their relationship as well; he wasn't about to withhold comfort just because someone else was watching-something he knew Severus, with his more private nature, was going to have to work through as well.

He turned his attention to Perrin without releasing Severus' hand. "I'm sorry we didn't foresee this and it's important you know there is no pressure on you to do any of it."

Perrin looked between them, his face impassive. "No, I'm thinking I would rather do this standing thing. All I really want is to say goodbye and this seems-nicer-somehow. It's just-" His voice trailed off.

As gently as he could, Harry asked, "It's just what, Perrin?"

Squirming in his seat, he looked off to the side and said in a small voice, "I just don't want to have to choose-one."

Harry waited to see if there was more. Breaking the silence, he urged, "Perrin?" When the boy gave him his full regard, Harry said, "Sometimes circumstances force us to make choices when we don't want to." Although he didn't really question why, he added, "And sometimes we've already made the choice, but we don't know how to tell someone without hurting them."

Perrin nodded, his face stricken. Harry glanced at Severus who rubbed his thumb along his palm. "It's all right, Perrin. If you already know who will give you what you need the most right now, then just say so. You won't hurt our feelings."

Perrin opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He sagged in his chair, his hands playing with the fabric of his robes. Harry knew exactly how he felt and, when Severus cleared his throat, was content to let him take over. "Perrin-" the boy looked up sharply as the Potions master called him by name "-everyone brings something unique to their relationships and, in return, everyone-seeks-something unique out of their relationships with others, whether it be friendship or security or love. Do you understand?"

Perrin's eyes glazed as he thought about it. "Do you mean like how I can talk to Becky about important stuff but not my mates because they'd think I was stupid, but if I want to talk about Quidditch, I have to talk to my mates because Becky won't?"

Severus' mouth quirked at the edges. "Precisely. You choose to talk to one friend for one thing and a different friend for another thing. Does that mean you think less of one friend than another?"

"No, it just means Becky gets bored talking about Quidditch."

Harry chuckled at that. Severus sent him an image-his turn. "What Severus is saying is that we understand there will be times, like this one, when you just need or want something only one of us can provide."

"But that's just ordinary stuff," Perrin said plaintively. "This is important and I don't want someone to feel bad because I didn't choose them."

With complete conviction, Harry replied, "You're right, this is an important choice, but it is your choice, not ours. This is not a contest between us; it's not about one winning and the other losing, and it never will be. This is about you deciding what's best for you. We won't think less of you for wanting one of us more than the other. What's most important is that you know we're both here for you, regardless of whom you choose."

Perrin stared at him, wide-eyed. "You really mean it?"

Harry looked to Severus, heartened by the love and approval he could see-and feel. "Yes, we do."

"And you won't get mad?"

"Never for something like this," Severus replied seriously.

Perrin took a deep breath as if jumping off a dangerous cliff. "Then, would you stand with me, Professor Snape?"

Harry's heart filled with joy that Perrin had chosen Severus. He knew they both were staring incredulously at the sappy grin on his face, but he just couldn't help it. It made him feel so good inside to know someone else saw and wanted the things in his husband that he himself loved so much.

Severus almost hid his surprise and pleasure behind his stiff, "It would be my honour and privilege, Perrin." But from the shy smile lighting Perrin's face, Harry knew he wasn't much fooled.

Harry let them have a small time to adjust before ruefully saying, "I'm afraid we need to get back over there and let Alex know what's been decided."

They rejoined the others. When Harry informed Albus and Alex of Perrin's decision, Alex nodded, saying he thought it a fine choice and Albus just beamed in much the same manner as Harry imagined he had.

"Well then, what time should we all meet again?" Albus asked.

"Once we arrive," Alex said solemnly, "I will need a few minutes to properly place Mrs. Mendino in the room you've prepared, and then a bit more for a few last minute instructions." He looked at his watch, his eyes glazing as he obviously worked out a schedule. "The Diviner's Almanac says sunset at Hogwarts is at 3:51 today; the best time to begin is approximately a half hour afterwards. It's 2:30 now," he murmured almost to himself, "forty minutes to the holding room, twenty for preparation, five for transport, ten for set-up-" He looked up. "Sorry, I didn't realise we'd cut it this close."

"Perhaps if I gave you two Portkeys?" Dumbledore asked, opening a drawer and pulling out a green knitted cap.

Alex said with a sigh of relief, "That would certainly be helpful and appreciated."

Albus performed the Portus spell on each cap in turn and, waiting until the blue light faded, handed them to the Dissolutioner. "The green one will take you to the holding room once you reach the bottom of my stairs. The red one is set to transport you and Perrin's mother at 4:00 pm to the place Perrin has prepared. Is this acceptable?"

"More than," Alex replied, standing. Without further ado, he shook hands with them all, leaving Perrin to last, and left.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, we've not much time." He shifted his gaze to Perrin. "You will need to speak to Miss Gardener. Do you wish one of us to accompany you?"

Surprise etched on his face, Perrin replied, "No, sir. I can do it."

"Good. Might I suggest we all meet on the seventh floor near the entrance to the Room of Requirement at, say, 3:50 pm? That will give us ample time to open it before Alex arrives. Don't forget-opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Balmy trying to teach the trolls ballet."

Perrin smiled. "I remember. I'll go now and get ready," he said, rising from his chair. He walked to the door, his back stiff. Hand on the handle, he turned to face them again. "What should I wear?"

Albus smiled benignly at him. "Your school uniform is appropriate, unless you wish something more formal?"

"No. No, that will be fine." He hesitated, his glance going between Harry and Severus. "Thank you," he said, and before they could reply, he was gone.

When the door snicked closed behind him, Albus chuckled. "That went better than I expected. He'll have a bit of a surprise when he gets to the bottom of the stair."

Severus raised a brow. "You made a Wizarding connection?"

"Right to his house front door. It will shave a few minutes off of his trip, time I think he will need to speak to his friend and, assuming he might be a tad tired of us adults, time to spend alone. I had Fawkes take him a note earlier to his dorm room telling him it works the other way as well, so he won't have to rush as much."

"Thank you, Albus," Harry said, thinking it a kind gesture. "We should be going as well. I feel like I've been in these clothes for at least a week."

"Very well," he replied, eyeing the clock on his mantel. "In an hour and a quarter, then?" he asked.

"Or less," Severus responded, standing. "Considering how much you disagree with all this, you have been most gracious."

Albus chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, someone recently pointed out to me that I couldn't stay an old fool forever."

Harry couldn't help it. With a cheeky grin, he said, "Give someone our best."

"Out! Scoot!" Albus said, laughing, shooing them away with his arms. "You'd best run if you're going to make it in time."

As Severus and Harry wound down the stairs, Harry wistfully wished Albus had made them a Wizarding connection as well. He stepped off the bottom stair and up to the entry of their quarters. "Wonder if we can get one of these permanently installed?" he asked as Severus opened the wards. "Right handy it is."

"Indeed. Perhaps you can ask the castle the next time you talk to it, because I certainly do not want to pay the price Albus is certain to levy for it."

Harry just chuckled, not taking any offense at the acerbity because most of it had been spoken into his hair as Severus wrapped him in a welcome embrace. His husband was so warm as he snuggled in under the outer robe; he hadn't realised just how cold he'd become even with all the layers of clothing one normally wore against the winter drafts. "Mmmm, this is nice," he murmured, nuzzling in to get to Severus' jaw, where he planted a chaste kiss.

"Mmmm hmmm," followed a sigh as Severus pulled him in tighter for a long moment before loosening his arms to let him go. "You go get changed; I have something I want to get from my study first."

Stifling his curiosity, Harry went to their bedroom and, after a quick shower and shave, was soon dressed in soft Wizarding robes of midnight blue; not formal by any means, but certainly more respectable than the old ones he'd thrown over Muggle clothing that morning. A glance at the clock confirmed they still had forty-five minutes before they needed to leave. Concerned that Severus hadn't come in yet, he went searching for him.

Harry stopped in the doorway to Severus' study. Slumped in his desk chair, his husband loosely held a round disc the size of a Galleon. Eyes staring at nothing in the distance, his face bore an uncommon mein of indecision. Harry walked into the room and quietly sat in the chair opposite, the desk between them. He left himself open, but Severus' concentration was such, nothing 'leaked' over to him and he refused to pry. He'd learned that lesson the hard way on their honeymoon, his memory still reeling from reliving Severus' past trials.

Subdued, Severus said, "It was my mother's-or rather I should say it was mine from my mother's interment."

There wasn't much to say. Severus had always remained singularly quiet about his mother, although from little things he'd gathered, Harry knew she'd died shortly after his father during the time Severus had been earning his Mastery and living with Mecadia. Only this morning he'd said he missed her sometimes, which told Harry more than all the other hints combined. From what he'd seen, he suspected her life at her husband's hands had been as harsh, maybe more so, as Severus' had been. He briefly wondered if she'd known her son had become a Death Eater; somehow he thought it wouldn't have mattered.

"It's fitting the boy should have it," Severus murmured almost to himself. He reached across the desk, handing the object to Harry, their fingers brushing. Harry had a sudden vision of a tall, statuesque woman, strangely handsome with a strong carriage. Where Severus got his nose and derisive brow was as plain as the ones gracing her proud face. Her eyes, a deep midnight blue, bore a glint of humour as if life were one huge farce; Harry thought he now knew from where Severus' black irony and inherent stubbornness stemmed.

He studied the heavy rosette in his hands. Made of enamelled black metal and edged in ruched black moiré silk, the face bore a single silver serpent woven into an intricate Celtic "S". Harry could feel within it the spell used in lieu of a pin to hold it in place.

Severus' grim chuckle startled him. "After she gave my father's body to the Aurors for disposal, she threw a week-long party and died shortly thereafter from a curse he'd cast when they were first married linking her demise with his own. I'd arranged a private Dissolutionment but was 'called' away that night." He glanced at Harry, his eyes unfathomable. "She went alone. The Dissolutioner sent me this by owl the next day. I never did wear it."

Harry handed it back to him, keeping his face and tone neutral as he said, "You'll tell him whose it was?"

"Perhaps. If the opportunity-gracefully-presents itself." He laid it carefully on the desk and stood. "I'll return in a moment."

While Severus cleaned up, Harry settled deeper into the chair, his wandering thoughts scattered by a growing headache. 'Too much, too soon,' Severus had said earlier, and he was right. They'd only been married a little over six weeks now and were still adjusting to the bond; their honeymoon had been a lesson unto itself, filled with so many impressions they still hadn't worked through them all.

And now? Now they were accepting a third into their lives before they'd really learned to deal with themselves; Severus' closing the bond today, so much like the rawer rift they'd had in Hana, albeit less serious, was a clear indicator that in many respects they weren't ready yet. However, there was Perrin to consider. His needs were immediate, but so were theirs. Harry struggled to find a way they could satisfy both sets of needs at the same time, for he refused to ignore their relationship no matter how much he cared about the boy.

The headache, grown now to pounding proportions, gradually stopped all thought as he closed his eyes, trying to will it away enough to drag himself out of the chair to get something to make it disappear.

"Drink this," was said softly from behind. He painfully opened his eyes and took the small glass held out in front of him, filled with a clear liquid with minuscule white bits swirling inside. "It's just some of that 'aspirin' powder Ben sent us last week suspended in spring water. I tested it; it's pure willow bark extract with no Muggle additives."

Nodding, even though it hurt to do so, Harry drained the glass in one go, setting it on the desk when he finished. He prepared to rise from the chair when gentle hands pulled him back. Strong, familiar fingers dug with precision into his shoulders, the thumbs running firm circles up the nape of his neck. "Mmmmm, you take good care of me." It felt wonderful and, as the fingers worked their magic up into his hair and scalp, the headache receded enough that he could sense a lingering sadness from his mate. Perhaps Severus needed the quiet contact as much as he did.

"You worry too much," Severus said, moving his hands to massage Harry's temples. "We'll muddle through this much like we do everything else."

"Probably," Harry murmured, shivering with pleasure as Severus floated his fingertips over the features of his face. Forehead and brows preceded eyes, slow feathery strokes fell down his cheeks to his chin, his throat, and back up the sides of his face to his temples where Severus started the cycle again. Harry was rapidly turning into pudding and wondered if he'd ever get up.

Severus stopped well after the headache was gone, his hands sliding down Harry's chest to give him a light hug from behind. Harry took his hands, his thumbs stroking the tops and, closing his eyes in contentment, laid his head against the strong arm nearby. Inhaling deeply, his lover kissed the side of his neck, pressing his cheek against his hair. For an infinite moment they were whole, and Harry savoured the warmth of the body surrounding him, the even breathing wafting down his jaw, the pulse he could feel in the hands spread firm against his chest, one of which covered his heart.

Eventually Severus sighed, saying softly, "Unfortunately, we should be going."

Reluctant to part, Harry raised his face in a tacit plea. His eyes softening, Severus smiled and took the offered lips with his own, the kiss lingering and sweet. Regretfully, Harry let him go and, taking Severus' proffered hands, struggled out of the chair. They walked out of the study together; near the entry door, Harry stopped him with a hand on his arm, quietly casting a smoothing spell to remove a few small wrinkles in Severus' robes. Stepping close to his husband, he wordlessly slid his arms around his waist and kissed him gently.

"Careful, you'll muss my robes," Severus murmured before pulling him close, just holding him.

There was nothing to he could do right now about the continuing regret filtering through to him, so Harry just accepted it and sent his comfort in return. A soft kiss later, they left to join the others.

.:o:. .:o:. .:o:. .:o:.

TBC