Cole stumbled to his feet, looking at Peter in confusion.
"Wha…""You should be ashamed of yourself," Peter admonished his father as though he was a wayward child. "Where is all that pride, that honor and determination that Baldasor worked so hard to convince me that you had? Was it all a lie?"
Cole gaped at him, dumbfounded by his attitude.
"He would be ashamed if he saw you like this. And the Brotherhood would probably rescind your membership. The mighty Belthazor indeed."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Cole said, his irritation obvious in his tone.
It was the first sign of genuine spirit Peter had seen in his father since he had arrived. And he took it as a positive sign and forged ahead.
"You want to self destruct, that's your business I suppose. But I didn't turn myself inside out to come here to talk to you, only to be cheated out of my answers. You owe me. So put the damn self-pity away until you've told me what I want to know."
"Since when do I have anything to say that you want to hear?" Cole asked rather bitterly.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe since you managed to die and left me to face the reality that my stubborn refusal to listen had cost me any chance of ever understanding most of my life. There are things I need to know. Things no one but you can tell me."
"Peter, nothing I can tell you is going to change the past."
"I don't expect it to. I can't stand here and tell you that it will make any difference at all between you and I in the present. I'm simply asking that you do what you once begged me to let you do, before it's too late again. I need to accept who I am. And to do that, I'm learning that I need to know who you are, who you were. Will you help me?"
Peter's steadfast and determined blue gaze met Cole's uncertain one as he waited for an answer.
"Tell me what you want to know," Cole finally said quietly.
Peter exhaled in relief. He hadn't even realized that he had been holding his breath. He flashed a wide smile in Cole's direction and headed for the dresser across the bedroom. He returned and shoved a bundle into his father's hands, his grin shifting to a sly smirk.
"First things first, old man. You are positively rank and this place has been gagging me since I walked in the door. So hit the showers. I'm going to open a door and let some fresh air in here."
Peter left the bedroom as soon as the shower started. He threw open the balcony doors and took a deep cleansing breath. Then he went in search of a broom and trash bags. There wasn't much he could do with the charred remains of the furniture so he piled them in one corner of the room as best he could. He then began using the dustpan as a mini shovel, scooping up piles of paper and food and depositing them in the trash bags. The empty booze and pill bottles went next.
By the time the water had stopped running in the bathroom, the air in the living room was almost fit to breathe again. Peter had managed to find two sound chairs and a small table. He also found the coffee and brewed a pot.
Cole entered the living room just as Peter had finished setting the coffee cups on the table. He was still unshaven, but he was clean. Peter sat and motioned his father toward the other chair. The two men stared at one another in awkward silence.
Finally Cole spoke up.
"What did you want to ask me?"
"Well," Peter began, "maybe I should start with an apology. I've always said that you had no honor or loyalty. That you weren't capable of those things. While you were gone, I learned some things from Baldasor that made me realize I was probably wrong about that. He told me about your initiation into the Brotherhood."
"That doesn't make me less demonic. In fact it only serves to show just how devoted I was to that course in my life."
" I know that, but I guess that's the point. You were wholly devoted to it. It's not the life I would choose for myself…"
"Would it surprise you to know that it's not the life I would choose for you either?" Cole asked.
"Why?" The question was out before Peter could stop himself from asking it.
"It's complicated. For the moment let's just say, that human or demon, a parent always wants better for their child than what they themselves had."
Peter couldn't help but wonder what his father was thinking about when the sad pained expression crossed his features. He didn't know about the child who may or may not have been Cole's. The child who would never see a life to be made either better or worse.
"So you know about the initiation. That means you have an idea of what I was at the time. You still haven't told me where you want me to start.
Peter's mouth was suddenly dry. He picked up his cup and drank, stalling before he began.
"The things you said earlier, about my mother…"
"I'm sorry about that," Cole interrupted quickly. " It was all lies and I am sorry I said those things to you. At that moment the only thing that interested me was making you angry enough to attack me. I was pretty sure you wouldn't have done it otherwise considering the promise you made to your mother." His face colored with shame.
"Just don't try it again or suicide by son might be successful the next time."
"Okay."
"Now," Peter leaned back in his chair, "I want you to tell me about my mother."
"I'm not sure what I can tell you that you don't all ready know. I only knew her a few months. You knew her, what, twelve years? You knew her a lot better than I did."
"I realize that. But no matter how well I knew her there are some questions that only you can answer about her."
"Like what?"
"Like why her? You said yourself you can have any woman you want. You're an attractive man. I'm sure more than one woman checks you out when you go out in public. Why did you choose her?"
"She was one of the most beautiful woman I had ever seen," said Cole thoughtfully. "I was trying to join a very prestigious law firm. But they presented a family image. I needed a wife to increase my chances of getting on with them. When I saw her on the street I figured she would be the perfect choice for me to present the wholesome family image the firm wanted."
"So she was what you said? Just a tool for one of your assignments?"
"At first, yes. Peter, I know how that sounds. But you have to understand what I was like in those days. I was a demonic mercenary. I hired out to whomever would pay my fee. She was no different from any other human I knew. It wasn't anything personal. Not then."
"I know. While I may not like it I do understand it. She was very special to me. But I can understand how she was just another person to you. Just someone you saw on the street."
"Yes, that's how it was. But like I said, that was at first. My job was to bring down this law firm in any way I could. She was a tool for me to accomplish that mission. But the longer we spent together the more I got to know her. I actually found myself starting to like her. That can be very dangerous for someone in my line of work."
"I can imagine. It destroys your objectivity. Makes you start to make mistakes. It's very similar to being a lawyer. You have to remain objective. If you become personally involved it can actually hurt your client in the long run."
"Exactly."
"So what happened? If you were beginning to like her why did you just leave her like you did? Why didn't you even make up a story to tell her?"
"It might help you understand what happened if you knew what happened those last couple of days I was there. Everything had gone smoothly up to that point. But it could easily have unraveled those last couple of days. And to be honest, your mother was not upper most on my mind at the time."
"Okay. Tell me what happened. That is why I came to see you."
Cole sipped his coffee thinking about the best way to start.