A/N-Garret hasn't hit rock bottom yet. But he's actually starting to make some progress...sort of. And as for why they didn't use Princeton Med on the show, they probably wouldn't allow it-it's the university medical center. And for those of you that liked Game Theory, I ran into John Nash while picking up my Xrays too...he's a scary looking fellow in real life, didn't get a chance to go "your equilibrium is one of the most interesting things I've ever studied" though, I was more kinda stunned that really up close and personal he's very much NOT Russel Crowe (last time I saw him he was way across a lecture hall.)

Stay with me, you're the one I need
You make the hardest things seem easy...
...I need your help
To pull me up, take the wheel
Out from me
Keep my heart
Somewhere drugs don't go
Where the sunshine slows
Keep me close

Jimmy Eat World-Drugs or Me

He looked up at her, at the slight trickle of blood that seeped through her fingers down her chin before dropping his head back into his hands and feeling his shoulders shake with sobs. He couldn't handle this, he hated it, he hated what he had become. He felt an arm wrap around him, and he shrugged it off. "Just leave me alone. Why do you even want to be near me?" He asked and she put her hand back.

"Garret, I'm here because I care." She said, gently rubbing his back.

"Why? Why the hell do you care so much? You repaid your debt, you don't have any reason to care about me." She shook her head.

"Au contraire, Garret. I have every reason to still care about you. You're still my best friend. You're the one person I can trust, and you're like-" She trailed off. "Garret, it's alright-" She started and he stalked back to his bedroom. She followed him, no matter how hard he tried to shrug her off.

"It's not alright." He said, "I just punched you-I've sunk to a new low, Jordan, it's not alright, I don't like what I've become, I hate it-"

"Then why don't you change things? It's not too late-" She started and he shook his head.

"It is, I've given up, it's too late Jordan, I'm gone, just give up on me too." She sat down next to him on the bed.

"I haven't given up on you, Gar. I'm still here, whether you want me to be or not." He moved away from her.

"I just punched you Jordan, I just lost all control. I'm gone, Jordan, a lost cause. I gave up the day Abby died, I haven't been the same since, I never will be the same man. I'll never live again, there's no point in it, there wasn't any point in it before, but now I don't have a reason to keep on going. She died because of me, because I was too busy being a selfish bastard and thinking about how great it was that she was going to be going to Harvard and how wonderfully that was going to reflect on me-I didn't once think that something could be wrong with her." His shoulders shook as he sobbed.

"Garret, you didn't want to see, you refused to see, no one wants to see their child slide off the deep end. No one wants to see anyone they care for slide off the edge." She pulled him close to her, comforting him.

"I couldn't believe she was gone, she was just lying there, she just died, no warning. I couldn't feel anything Jordan, just despair. I wanted to hate Blake, I wanted to kill him for what he did, but I couldn't. You want to know where my spark is? Go check in the coffin that's buried beneath the tombstone that reads Abby Macy. When I lost her, I lost my will to fight Jordan, it's not worth it anymore." He turned his back on her, he hated feeling weak, feeling vulnerable.

"Garret, you still have it, it hasn't gone out, it just needs more fuel-you've still got the old Garret in you, you've just drowned him in scotch." He shook his head.

"I died along with her that night. I've been numb ever since, at least the booze let me feel something, even if it was despair-I'm happy just to feel something, even if it's pain. But I don't want to hurt anymore. I just want it all to go away. The pain, the emptiness, I want it to be over Jordan, I want all this to be done with, I don't want it anymore. I never asked for it, I never asked for any of it, and I don't want it. I don't want to keep on being the selfish bastard who can't shed a tear over his own daughter."

"Garret, what do you think you're doing now?" She asked and he shrugged. He was sobbing. Because of her. He was crying because of her. The first time he had ever done that. "It's going to be alright, you're going to be alright Garret, we're going to get through this, you're going to be back to your old self." He drew a ragged breath. This time he was just a little more convinced.