Everyone

By Katsuya Kaiba

One Shot Series: Katsuya Jounouchi 2.0

It was so hot outside, but I couldn't even feel it. The sharp and oppressive sunlight never reached me, and I ran inside the bathroom and into an empty stall. They were all empty, but I didn't even notice it at the time, and I ducked into the biggest one and dropped down onto the tile floor, utterly defeated. I hadn't even seen it coming, and I was so stupid for it. Why hadn't I noticed?

I let my face fall into my hands and before too long the tears stung at the backs of my eyes, and I let them come, not knowing what else to do. It was all that I had. I was so…empty. Was it me? Was there something wrong with the way that I was? I couldn't be…could I?

I'd had a chance, and I had taken it, not even knowing that it was a chance I was willing to take. It was all there, everything fit and all of the pieces matched, every single piece except for my own. It was so plain, so obvious, yet it was at that moment that I had known, and known that I should have seen it sooner. I shouldn't have let this happen.

It was too late now, and everything would fall apart, all around me. Everyone would know. Everyone would see. Everyone had seen. I couldn't hide it, not from anyone and not from myself. I wished that I could. It wasn't anything that I wanted to see.

I pulled my knees up tight to my chest and cried, and when I heard the bell that signaled the end of the lunch hour I hardly even noticed it, and I didn't get up or try to stop my tears. I wasn't leaving this bathroom…not yet. I couldn't go back out there, not after everyone had seen me, and what I had foolishly done.

Why had I done that? I hadn't ever thought of it, never once dreamed of it, never once cared to. I didn't even want to…but I had. There wasn't any way that I wanted it…wouldn't I have known? Wouldn't I have seen it coming?

Not if you weren't looking, I thought to myself.

It wasn't a thing that I would have ever sought, never within myself. Not in my friends, or in my enemies…it was nothing to me. Or at least, it had been nothing, until I had found it inside of me. Now it was something, it was more than just something.

It was me; a part of me…wasn't it? Oh, god…but it wasn't all of me. I was more than just that, if in fact it was the truth.

The school had grown quiet, and I knew that it was too late now. Classes had begun long ago, and I wasn't there. I wasn't going, not like this. Not after having done something like that. Everyone had seen, and I hadn't…I hadn't even cared.

I hadn't cared then, but I did care now. And I cried, I cried and I just couldn't bring myself to stop. I cried for who I was, and for what I knew now and wished that I still didn't, and my body shook with the sobs that came for each and every thought that I had hidden. My eyes began to burn for the tears, but they kept falling, and I kept on crying. I lost myself in it, and I never heard the bathroom door open, or the sound of the footsteps approaching the stall that I hid inside. It wasn't a very good place to hide.

I jumped suddenly and glanced upward as the stall door swung open slowly, and I realized far too late that I hadn't even bothered to lock the door before throwing myself down on the floor. So stupid…but then, I already knew that.

Seto Kaiba stood apprehensively in the doorway, and I stared at him for a moment, hoping that he hadn't come to kill me. I vaguely wondered why he wasn't in class himself, but it wasn't important enough at the time to keep my attention, and I paid it little mind. He said nothing at first, and instead chose to watch me silently, and I gave up on looking at him and buried my face in my hands. He was here for something, and I was pretty sure that it wasn't just to use the bathroom. I tried to forget that he was there and continued on the way that I had been, crying softly for so little and nothing that was really so tragic. It just was to me.

"Jounouchi." Kaiba's voice was stern, and I looked up sharply, catching a sob in my throat. I stared at him, feeling stray tears trickling through my eyelashes. He didn't look angry, and I was confused about that, but he opened his mouth to speak again, and I remained silent.

"Stop that."

I stopped crying for a moment, mostly over confusion than anything else. Stop what? Crying? I didn't think that I could, and I told him so, although my voice was quiet and broken and I hoped that he understood.

"I…I can't."

"You have to." Kaiba took a step forward and into the stall completely, the toes of his boots mere inches from my own shoes. It frightened me somewhat, and I flinched as he stepped forward, thinking that maybe he was angry with me after all. He was supposed to be angry, very angry, and my suspicions grew with each moment that passed and still left me unharmed.

"Why? I want to cry. I didn't…I didn't mean to do that."

My eyes flickered up to Kaiba's, who wore an unreadable expression, but from what I could see, he really wasn't angry at all. I didn't know what he was, but it was a calm and collected emotion, whatever it might have been. Kaiba was in control, and I was so very glad for that, for the very first time.

"Just don't. Don't cry."

I didn't know what to say to him, but the longer that I stared and watched his eyes as he stared back, the more I saw that I could stop crying, if I really wanted to. Kaiba wanted me to. I didn't know why that was, but Kaiba had never once asked me for anything before, and it was so odd how I wanted to comply.

So I did. I blinked once, then again, and every lost tear that I had fell from my eyes and onto my cheek, and I lifted one of my hands up and wiped them clean with my sleeve. I could do this, I realized, and I looked back up at Kaiba and saw that the blue inside of his eyes had lightened in a way.

I cast my eyes to the ground again, knowing just how I must have looked to him, but I heard something then, a shuffling of shoes against the tiled floor, and I lifted my eyes just in time to see Kaiba leaning over and reaching out for my face. I was startled and I sat back against the divider, trying to back away from his unexpected touch, but he was insistent and he slipped his fingers underneath my chin and lifted my face upwards to look clearly into my eyes.

Kaiba didn't move, not for the longest time, and then finally he moved his face just a little bit forward, and I lifted my chin slightly and met him in the middle.

This time, the kiss wasn't my fault, and I didn't feel quite as badly as I had the first time that this had happened, which had really only been about half an hour ago. Maybe longer. Kaiba fell to his knees soon afterwards and pulled me up to his height by my shoulders and continued to kiss me, and this time there was no one around, and I didn't feel the way that I had felt seconds before.

I forgot about why I was crying and simply kissed him back, and I knew then, I knew that it wasn't so awful. It wasn't as bad as I had thought. I just hadn't been aware that I was going to do it…and neither had Kaiba. But this kiss was much different from the first, and it was so much better, in a certain sort of way.

This kiss wasn't too sudden or rushed, and it started out slowly and then built itself up from there, growing in silence until I couldn't stand it any longer, and I moaned quietly in the lowest and deepest part of my throat. Kaiba started slightly when he heard it, but it was immediately forgotten and then he kissed me even harder, and I was beginning to feel the lack of air to my lungs, but I did nothing to help it.

Instead, I lifted my arms and set my hands down lightly on his hips, and he didn't try to stop me at all. I wasn't even sure why I had been scared that he might. Maybe I was just afraid of everything. It didn't stop me at all, and it didn't stop Kaiba. Soon afterwards I felt Kaiba's hands roaming as well, and they paused at the small of my back and then crept upwards, slipping underneath the fabric of my uniform and sliding up the skin of my back, and I shuddered as I felt him do that. I couldn't even believe that he would do that in the first place. Kaiba…Kaiba liked it. And so did I.

He pulled back suddenly and slid his hands out from underneath my jacket, standing up on his feet and studying my face sharply, as if searching for something. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, so I stared right back at him, too shocked and stricken with disbelief to do anything else.

"Don't cry."

Kaiba turned and left the stall, and after a few more moments had passed I heard the bathroom door open and then close. He was gone.

I fell back down to the ground and leaned against the divider, pulling my knees back up tightly to my chest, just the way they had been before Kaiba had come. But I didn't cry. I couldn't cry, not now. I just didn't feel like it anymore.

Awww...no cry, Jou! I hate it when you cry...