DayKnightmare: A Parody
Chapter Three: The Quest Continues…..
A/N: Oh yeah I'm back!!! I've actually REALLY gotten into writing this…. So I decided to update this pretty quick. This is also due to the constant nagging of people I know who accidentally read it not knowing it was me and upon finding out who wrote it decided to be my 'nag her until she does updates' club……. I suppose I should take it as a compliment!
Disclaimer: I don't have to do one La-la-la-la-la-laaaa!!!
Dedication: To John and Neil for being my 'nag her until she updates' club members who have a special role in this –EVIL grin- and obviously to Sparrow for being my little muse throughout this adventure! Now onwards!!!
Our contestants were once again left in trapped in time, much to the pleasure of the general populace. The authors had disappeared once again planning their next batch of stunts and Treguard and Pickle were feeling, well….. A tad bored.
TRE: I honestly don't know what could be taking them so long!
PIC: They ain't here! Be grateful!
TRE: I am slightly but I'm seriously bored! I know lets prank call Lord Fear!!!
PIC: YOU WANNA DO WHAT!!!!!
TRE: I said lets prank call Lord Fear! Come on It'll be a laugh…… unless you're too chicken!
PIC: I am NOT a chicken! You senile old coot!! Talk about going through a mid-life crisis or what!!
TRE:-Looks confused- What's one of them?
PIC: -Shakes head- Never mind….. You've probably just been hanging around with those two psychos' for far too long!
TRE: Well then if I'm so senile and psychotic…… you can make the call then! –Tosses cell phone to Pickle-
PIC: I walked straight into that one didn't I?
TRE: YUP! –Grins smarmily-
PIC: -Mutters something nasty-
TRE: Pickle now that's not nice……. Hurry up and make the call!!!
PIC: -Grumbles and dials number-
-Phone rings and is picked up-
LORD F: Hello Dark Realms of the Dungeon, Lord Fear speaking how may I help you?
-Silence-
LORD F: HEY!!! Whose there? Hey helllllllllllooooooo?
-Still silence-
LORD F: Hey if whoever this is doesn't speak…… I'm gonna set a horde of curses on your backsides that will be so evil and….. Eviller you won't believe it!
-Still silence-
LORD F: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE INSULTING!!!! I AM THE MASTER OF THIS DUNGEON!!!!!
-Silence but with faint sniggers in the background-
LORD F: THAT DOES IT!!!! THUNDER BOLTS HUNT DOWN THE INSULTER AND SHOW THEM WHY NO ONE SHOULD MESS WITH LORD FEAR MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
PIC: Oh st!!! –Quickly hangs up-
TRE: I wouldn't worry Pickle…… this room is very strongly warded, no curse of his will get in.
PIC: Then what's THAT then!! –Points at ceiling where storm-cloud is forming-
TRE: Oh dear!!! Pickle I'd advise you to……
-Cloud throws thunder bolt at Pickle-
PIC: AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! –Does Anime style shocked pose and crumples to floor-
TRE:…… Run. Oh dear I said that a bit too late didn't I?
PIC: -Electrified- I'd zzay zzo –Glares at Treguard- Wardz my azzz!
M.G: HI GUYS!!! Were back!!
SPA: What did we miss?
AUTHORS: -Look blankly at Pickle who is still frazzled- What the hell happened to you?!?
TRE: He prank called Lord Fear and he retaliated by sending a thunderbolt to zap the person who did it.
PIC: It waz your bloody idea!
M.G: That shouldn't have happened, we warded the place so no curses could get in…????
SPA: That can only mean one thing…….
AUTHORS: Someone else is trying to take over the fic!!!
TRE: And that is a bad thing because……
AUTHORS: -Glare at Treguard-
M.G: It's a very bad thing…… it can cause all sorts of chaos. As the original authors we are still in control but someone is trying to change it to their own purposes.
SPA: That means they can make you or Pickle completely disappear from this and make Lord Fear the grand ruler and everything. The point is ANYTHING is possible in our world of the FanFic writers, we can make anything happen so that's why we have to be careful we don't screw up your world.
TRE: Oh….. Right…. So any idea's who it could be???
SPA: No idea?
M.G: -Is strangely silent-
SPA: M.G what's up?
M.G: Huh? Oh nothing just thinking really….. Who could it be? I know it's not Johnny… this isn't her kind of thing and I definitely know it ain't S.J.….she doesn't even know this stuff exists… Gah this is frustrating!!
SPA: Calm down M.G… Lets just get on with the game… we'll catch 'em!
M.G: Yeah I suppose you're right…. Treguard if you will…
TRE: Certainly –Claps hands-
-The motley crew of losers are unfrozen-
J.LO: -Falls to the ground with a huge CRASH-
STUDIO: -Laugh-
J.LO: THIS IS SO HUMILIATING!!! –Notices slight change in outfit- AND WHY THE HELL AM I DRESSED IN THIS SKIMPY THING!!!!
AUTHORS: -Look confused- We didn't do that!!!
TRE: The phantoms changer strikes again!!!
M.G: -Fuming mad-
SPA: UH-OH…. –Moves away slowly-
TRE: What's 'Uh-OH' for?
SPA: M.G's starting to lose her cool… which is NOT a good thing!
M.G:….. –Types something down, J.Lo is back in her normal clothes- I think it's safe to assume the offending party is male! No female would ever do that!
SPA: -Nods-
J.LO: I can't believe I'm saying this but thanks….. –Shudders- niceties are so overrated! Right where have I got to go now?
GAR: Go straight ahead and follow the path…… hey my stutters gone!
M.G: Okay NOW I'm peeved!!! It's one thing, to try and take over our fic but to take away Gareth's stutter is an inhumane thing to do…… we can't make fun of him no more!!! You load of sadistic sons of bitches!!! –Goes off on random rant-
SPA: M.G!!!!! –Slap sound is heard- CALM DOWN!!!
M.G: Thanks mate –Takes deep breath- Okay continue!!!
CHR: Right J.Lo walk forward….
-J.Lo does so and goes onto next screen, deeper into the forest on the floor is a spyglass thingy-
J.LO: Where am I fools!
CLA: You're deeper in the forest….. The path branches out into two ways and there is this random looking glass thing on the floor.
TRE: Why not pick it up….. who knows what you might see.
J.LO: Should I losers…… why am I asking you…. I take orders from no one! For I am J.Lo!
STUDIO: WEIRD!!!!
-J.LO picks up glass and looks into it.-
LORD F: Ah… I see you have returned from your mission….. you are doing well you two.
PER 1: Thank you my Lord! I'm glad you approved of our changes……
LORD F: Of course, those meddling authors and that senile old coot Treguard are going to deserve what come to them.
PER 2: And our reward……
LORD F: You will have control of this fic and shall be made all powerful in this realm.
1 & 2: Thank you Lord Fear!
LORD F: You have done well Neilus and Johno… you shall be vastly rewarded, keep up your fine work. Torment those authors into submission!!.... –Looks puzzled-…. Someone is watching me…..
TRE: PUT THE DAM GLASS DOWN NOW!!!!
J.LO: But I'm so beautiful…. –Admires self in mirror-
SPA: -Scribbles something down- That's that solved!!!
-Mirror disintegrates-
J.LO: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
M.G: -Is fuming mad-
TRE: What's up with her!!
M.G: -Eye twitching-
SPA: Watch out she's gonna blow!!!! –Covers ears and hits deck-
M.G: -Has random swearing rant which can not be entered due explicit content-
ALL: -Ears hurt- OUCH!!
SPA: Feel better now…….
M.G: Much!!! But when I get my hands on those two they are NOT going to know what hit them!!
SPA: Yeah! Lets get our counterattack ready!!!
TRE: But finish this chapter first!!!!
M.G: Yeah, yeah whatever……
J.LO: Where to now idiots…
CHR: Left or right?
CLA: Right!!!
GAR: Left!!!
TRE: Oh NOT AGAIN!!!
AUTHORS: -Snigger-
PIC: I think they should let the lady have her way…..
TRE: That's very gentlemanly of you Pickle….
PIC: It's not that….. It's just obvious that she will nag and nag until she gets her own way!
CLA: HEY!!!!
M.G: Well that's the truth!
SPA: -Nods in agreement-
TRE: Okay… Right it is!
CHR: Okay J.Lo turn a quarter turn to your right and walk forward!!!
-J.Lo does so and trips over tree stump (Yes this is a running theme)-
J.LO: YOU ALL HATE ME!!!!
SPA: And you say that like it isn't obvious!!
J.LO: -Glares best she can under helmet-
M.G: Get up you lazy bum….. Limited time-span you know!!
J.LO: NO I am not moving an INCH further!!!
-Horn blows again-
TRE: Clearly you will be moving unless you want to be bludgeoned to death by goblins!
J.LO: I just got rid of them!
M.G: Well there back so I advise you move your posterior unless you want it maimed in unimaginable ways!
J.LO: Okay I'm moving! –Prances down path-… HEY!!!!
AUTHORS: -Laugh-
-Next scene is a mountain path-
TRE: Ah the mountains of despair! Be aware… it is not only allies of Lord Fear that will hunt you here!
M.G: Hey Treguard's a poet and he didn't know it!
TRE: -Exasperated Glare-
J.LO: I hate mountains… I hate forests….. I hate castles…. In short I HATE THIS PLACE!!!!!
ALL: WE DON'T CARE!!!!
-Bells dongs, J.Lo freezes mid-rant-
TRE: Time to freeze you lot as well! –Claps hands in a Salsa style-
-Other three losers are frozen-
M.G: Phew thank god that's over…..
SPA: Only for now….. We have some ass kicking to do!!!
M.G: OH YEAH!!! I'm gonna torture those two so bad for siding with the enemy!!! HOW DARE THEY!!!!
SPA: AMEN!!!!
TRE: Oh what are you two planning now?
AUTHORS: You'll see!!! See you later guys –Disappear-
PIC: Why am I suddenly VERY SCARED!!!
TRE; Well the saying goes 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' and those two have definitely been scorned!
PIC: Those two guys are in for it now aren't they!
TRE: -Grins evilly-
PIC: GOOD! Serves those goits right for screwing with our stuff!
TRE: wonder what they're gonna do!!!
PIC: I dunno, but it's gonna be good!
End Chapter Three
A/N: So that's that one out they way…. And now there are some new antagonists in this little spiel, who will our heroes (?) react to this new foe….. stay tuned for all the answers and more in the next chapter of Dayknightmare: The Quest Continues…. Again