Dayknightmare: A Parody Of Sorts
Chapter four: The quest continues……… Again
A/N: Yay I'm finally back…… after my laptop so unceremoniously crashed and deleted all my work! –Growls- anywho I've got it up and running again so work is back underway! Enjoy Peeps!
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Juno, for being the only person to review this…… and to Dawn for helping me an unbelievable amount so I had the time to actually write this!
We return to the scene where we last left off, Treguard, Pickle and the Authors are holding a conference so they can try and figure out how to deal with the 'Renegade Authors' now dubbed as by M.G 'The Bloody enemy'.
TRE: So ladies what's the plan?
M.G: I have no idea Treguard….. I've been trying to come up with a plan all day and I can't think of a single thing. GAHHHH!!!
SPA: Calm down M.G…. you'll think of something, you always do.
PIC: Listen I don't care, just as long as this ends quickly.
ALL: -Glare at Pickle-
PIC: What?
M.G: Pickle's right I may as well just give up!
SPA: WHAT!!!! M.G have you gone starkers!! This is not the M.G I know and respect with fear!
TRE: I really can't believe you're just giving up.
M.G: I know, I know…. I just can't think of anything…… it's driving me mental!!
SPA: Us too because your being insufferable!
ALL: -Nod-
M.G: Oh thanks your support is warming.
PIC: We didn't mean it nasty. It's just you've been whinging all day about those two losers.
M.G: Yah I know………. AHHHHHHH!!!
SPA: M.G what is it?
M.G: EUREKA!!!! I have it!!!
SPA: W00T!!! About time!!!
TRE: So what's the plan guys and gals?
M.G: This is what we're going to do…………
Few minutes later
M.G: Okay is everyone clear on what we've got to do!
ALL: -Nod-
PIC: Are you sure this is going to work?
M.G: It has too…… for all our sakes…. –Insert dramatic silence-
SPA: That was just creepy –Shudders-
TRE: Yah!
M.G: Enough dilly-dallying…… unfreeze that lot so we can continue with this…. I'm feeling…inspired –Evil grin-
PIC: Why does that not sound good.
SPA: Because it isn't……… When M.G gets inspired chaos or something very bad happens.
M.G: THAT IS SO NOT TRUE!!!! Let's get on with this!! Treguard if you would!
TRE: Indeed… -Claps hands and finishes salsa-
-The losers are unfrozen-
CHR: I really hate that!! You could have destroyed my hair!!
SPA: -Sarcastic- And that would be a travesty……
CHR: I can't help the fact that I'm beautiful……
ALL: -Look grossed out-
TRE: That sentence was so wrong in so many ways……
J.LO: I agree……
ALL: -Look in shock-
J.LO: I mean I'm the only beautiful one around here……
PIC: Oh my god…… what an ego.
M.G: It's fairly filling this room……
J.LO: -Glares as best she can under helmet-
TRE: A-HEM! Can we please get a move on……
J.LO: Fine guys… where am I?
GAR: (With stutter returned)Y-your on a P-path…..
M.G: I'm so glad that's back in…… it just seemed wrong without it.
SPA: I agree!
CLA: You should just walk forward as it only goes straight!
J.LO: -Sniffs- Fine! –Walks off-
-Is closer to the mountain the path is now split into a fork. One leading around the mountain and one leading through the caves-
J.LO: Where am and what should I do fools!
CHR: There is a path in front of you and splits one leads into the caves and one leads around the mountain…..
J.LO: I am NOT traipsing all the way around some cruddy mountain!! My feet will be massacred!
GAR: W-wwell I t-think that is d-decided!
CLA: Okay then J.Lo…. turn a quarter turn to your left and walk forward.
-J.Lo does so-
J.LO: Where am I?
CHR: You're in a cave….
ALL: DUH!!!
CHR: -Glares-…..and in front of you is a thin bridge with some sort of…. Gateway over it.
SPA: M.G do you know what that thing is? It doesn't quite look like it belongs here.
M.G: No clue…. Do you think it could be them again?
SPA: Possibly…. You wanna risk it
M.G: -Sarcastic look-
SPA: I'll take that as a yes then….
M.G: Are pigs flightless?
SPA: Okay guys direct her through!!
GAR: W-walk… forward Th-through the g-gateway
SPA: Are you sure about this?
M.G: Of course I am… I mean what's the worst that could happen…
SPA: -Thinks about the worst that could happen-….. –Shudders-
M.G: Okay not a wise choice of words….. but it could be interesting.
SPA: True….
J.LO: Er… HELLO! What am I supposed to be doing here…..
CLA: JUST WALK FORWARD!!!
J.LO: FINE!!! –Walks forward through gateway and big flashy light show occurs-
-Smoke clears-
ALL: -Stare-
J.LO: -In deeper voice- Hey what are you all staring at?...... hey what happened to my voice…… AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL: -Start laughing-
J.LO: -Sobs- NOOOOO!!! What's happened to me……
SPA: Well it appears you've been turned into a guy.
ALL: -Still laughing-
J.LO: DO SOMETHING!!!!
M.G: -Wipes tears from eyes- Do something? I'm not sure if I can…
J.LO: And why not?!?
M.G: Because that gateway thingy was not something I put in the fic…. So therefore I'm not sure if I can reverse it!
J.LO: -Looks shocked- But… But….
SPA: But nothing…. You'll just have to carry on….. Until we can find someone who can reverse it.
TRE: But who would be able to?
M.G: Dunno…. We'll have to wait and see!
J.LO: I REFUSE TO MOVE ANOTHER STEP UNTIL YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!
M.G: AND I JUST TOLD YOU I CAN'T SO YOU BETTER GET A MOVE ON UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE PERMENTLY STUCK LIKE THAT!!!
J.LO: -Sniff- Fine……
CHR: Carry on walking over the bridge then…… John… -Smirks-
J.LO: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! –Runs over bridge shrieking hysterically-
SPA: So much for being discreet!!
TRE: I know…… I don't think I've ever had such a noisy dungeoneer!!!
-Runs through into next room. There is a passageway and some food on the floor-
CHR: Okay can you see the items….
J.LO: Of course I can idiot…. I'm not retarded!!
PIC: -Mutters- Could've fooled me….
ALL: -Snigger quietly-
GAR: O-oo-okay so W-what's there?
J.LO: Just some mouldy cheese….
CLA: Well put it in your knapsack!! Idiot!!
J.LO: -Looks grossed out- EWWWW it smells!!!
CHR: Not again…… JUST PUT IT IN ALREADY!!!!
SPA: That sounded SOOOO wrong!!!
ALL: -Glare-
J.LO: -Picks up cheese and puts in knapsack- So where too…
GAR: J-just walk straight a-aa-ahead.
-J.Lo walk forward and into the next room-
-The next room is one of the well known 'number puzzles over a huge chasm' often seen in this series-
J.LO: Okay what's going on???
TRE: It appears we have stumbled into one of Lord Fears infamous trap puzzles….. You'll have to choose your path wisely.
J.LO: Why do I have to choose my path wisely?
PIC: You have to either that or fall to a horrible plummeting death!
J.LO: -Shudders- Thanks for that.
PIC: You're welcome –Grins evilly-
M.G: Come on these things are easy….. you've just gotta figure out the pattern!
J.LO: So what's the pattern losers? Where do I have to stand!
STUDIO: -Look lost-
TRE: Please tell me you picked helpers with at least one iota of intelligence.
M.G: Ummm…. Not really….. I mean Clare is quite clever but she doesn't often show it, unless it's for people who she fancies….
SPA: I have an idea!
M.G: -Sarcastic- Well there's a first!
SPA: -Glares-
M.G: I was kidding, honestly just kidding.
SPA: Fine –Shakes head-… do you want to hear my idea?
M.G/ TRE/ PIC: YUP!!!
SPA: Okay this is it……… whisper whisper -Points at Gareth- Whisper whisper -Points at Clare Whisper whisper
TRE: I'll admit….. that's pretty good!
M.G: And insightful…….
PIC: And devious…….
M.G/ TRE/ PIC: WE LOVE IT!!!!
M.G: You know what to do gentlemen…….
TRE: -Sighs- Gareth I need to talk to you a moment………
GAR: -Gets up and walks over-
TRE: -Hushed tones- Listen Gareth we want you to bribe Clare…..
GAR: W-with w-what exactly?
TRE: Er… you –Notices Gareth's horrified expression- …. No, no nothing rude… just a kiss or something. Listen the girls said that Clare is quite clever but only when she's sucking up to people she likes…. So if you give her a little incentive she might….. y'know figure this puzzle out.
GAR: W-what's in it f-for me?
TRE: Girls said they will grant you one wish in this realm….. and they mean just about anything… except something that will 'Up the rating' they said…….
GAR: How soon can they grant it….
TRE: Soon as they can I suppose, depending on how big it is…..
GAR: -Grins- Okay I'll do it. Tell them my wish is……. Remove my stutter. –Goes back over and begins to work his charms(?)-
-Random bell thingy goes-
TRE: All over for this time… -Blows on harmonica and loser freeze-… Yeesh this is the slowest adventure I've ever partaken in!
M.G: So did he say he'd do it!!
TRE: He said he would….. But I don't think you'll like his request…..
M.G: Why….. What did he request Treguard?
TRE: -Mumbles-
M.G: -In motherly telling off voice complete with raised eyebrows- Treguard!
TRE: Hesaidhewantedyoutoremovehisstutter…..
SPA: WHOH! In English and not some weird alien language please.
TRE: He said he wanted you to remove his stutter….
M.G: -Looks upset- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
-Sparrow pats M.G comfortingly on the back-
And so we leave this scene with M.G's turmoil at having lost one of her greatest weapons against Gareth. However the fact that J.Lo was still a man made her feel much happier. Tune in for all this madness and more in the next instalment of…..
Dayknightmare: The quest continues….. again and again!