Dayknightmare: A Parody Of Sorts
Chapter Five: The Quest Continues……… again and again.
A/N: W00t back again….. surely you must be getting sick of this by now… really….. you're not? Okay I'm joking… it's only the voices in my head saying that… -Sighs- A few more reviews would be nice though –Puppy dog eyes- PWEASE!!
I really can't believe this has made it FIVE chapters…. That some kind of a record for me! It was only supposed to be a stupid one off thing that I wouldn't update… but hey… if you like it… continue it
When we left we had found the bloody enemy had a new trick up their sleeve, turning J.Lo into a guy…. Although this was met with mixed feelings of horror (J.Lo) and utter amusement (The rest of us). The quest is progressing slowly but steadily…. But they haven't even passed Level one yet. So we get the feeling this is going to be a l-o-n-g story.
M.G: Oh woe is me and all that woeful crap! HOW DARE HE ASK FOR THAT!!!!!
SPA: Ah come on M.G…. it isn't that bad….
M.G: -Glare of death-
SPA: Okay maybe it is….. but there's no need to be all melodramatic…..
M.G: - Continues Glare of death-
SPA: Geez will you cut that out….. it really looks like as if you want to kill me.
M.G: -Sigh- I wanna kill someone….. but not you… you are my one of my best mates after all.
TRE: So ladies…. Have you decided whether you're going to grant Gareth his wish?
M.G: Were gonna do it…. Although I AM NOT very happy about it.
SPA: Come on…. You'll survive…..
M.G: Yeah but this is my fic and nothings seems to be going the way I want it too……… it's getting really frustrating, my others generally work out okay!
TRE: What do you mean 'others'?
M.G: -Laughs- My other fics….. you surely didn't think it was only you I tortured? I weave my demented magic into many realms Mwahahahahaha!!!
PIC: You know what…. You're such a freak.
M.G: Thanks….. I've always though so.
TRE/ PIC: -Cuckoo movement-
SPA: I agree wholeheartedly…. And I'm her best mate!
M.G: Umm… can we get off the pick on M.G groove……… BAD KARMA!!
SPA: Hate to mention this but you're not a Buddhist.
M.G: Shut up!!!
TRE: Right we've gotta get moving people.
M.G: Okay…… unfreeze 'em.
TRE: My pleasure…… –Blows on harmonica-
-The dastardly trio plus J.Lo are unfrozen-
CLA: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!! We're still here!!!
M.G: You were expecting Hawaii?
CLA: -Glares-
SPA: Now, now play nice missy!
TRE: Gareth…. May we have another short word?
GAR: S-s-sure!! –Walks over-…. W-what is it?
TRE: Well the authors said that they'd give you your request, but believe me they weren't happy about it.
GAR: -Smirks- I w-was hoping t-that'd b-be the r-reaction.
TRE: You're cruel….. Nice work!
GAR: S-so when a-are t-they gonna d-do it?
TRE: As soon as you clear the puzzle…. Then they promise to uphold their end of their bargain.
GAR: F-fair deal….. I-if you'll e-exc-cuse me? –Walks back over-
J.LO: PEOPLE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
CHR: Just give us a minute…. We're not geniuses!!!
SPA: Don't we know it!!!
TEAM: -Glare murderously-
GAR: -Innocently- So Clare, can YOU think of anything?
CLA: -Blushes-
REST OF US: -Puke into conveniently appearing barf bags.-
CLA: Well….. As I can see an alternating pattern that seems to be odd/ even.
GAR: Wow.. That's so clever… I wish I was smart enough to see this.
R.O.U: -Again with the barf bags-
CLA: -Resembles a beetroot- Um….. It was easy really….. There is only one odd or even number per row… surrounded by the number of the opposite type.
M.G: -Whispered- Okay I stand corrected… SHE has the biggest ego here.
SPA: Almost but not quite…..
M.G: Why who's is the biggest?
SPA: -Funny look-
M.G: -Confused- WHAT?? –Catches on… Sulks- I'm not talking to you.
SPA: -Laughs- I was only kidding! I don't think even your ego can top the ones in this room!
M.G:…………
SPA: Oops… I think I hacked her off……
PIC: You think?
SPA: Okay I have… alright…….
M.G: -Laughs- HAHAHAHAHA got ya!!! Ha… -Annoying sing song voice- Made you feel guilty, made you feel guilty.
SPA: -Vein popping- YOU BLOODY COW!!! I REALLY THOUGHT I'D UPSET YOU!!! WHY I OUGHTA….-Crashing heard in background-
M.G: -Cackling manically- Ha-ha you can't catch me!!!! WHAAAAA OUF!!!!!
SPA: Yeah I win!!!!
M.G: I think a draw would be more appropriate.
SPA: Fair do's….
M.G: Good…. Now would you please get off me!!
SPA: -Giggles- Course I will…..
M.G: Okay sorry about that….. Um where were we?
J.LO: I WAS WAITING FOR DIRECTIONS FROM THESE LAMES ASSES YOU CALL HELPERS!!!!!
SPA: Well EXCUSE ME!!!
TRE: Now, now there is no need to get all valley girl on us!
J.LO/ SPA: -Glare-
PIC: Come on people we're not even passed Level one yet….. Can we save the bickering for later?
CHR: The small cross-dressing pixie is right…… J.Lo listen very carefully…. Take a small step forward….. –J.Lo steps on to first number a six-
CLA: Right… turn a little bit to your left….
J.LO: Left? Right? Make up your mind…..
CHR: JUST TURN LEFT!!! –J.Lo does so-
J.LO: Now what?
CLA: Walk forward…
-Random row falls away-
J.LO: -Moves forward onto next number, a nine- Where to now?
-Next row falls away-
GAR: T-turn to y-your r-r-r-r-r-right…… a l-little more…. N-now walk f-f-f-forwards.
J.LO: -Walks onto a two-… And…..?? –Waves impatient hand-
-And the next row-
CHR: Turn some more to your right…. That's it! Now move forwards one step.
J.LO: I get it…. Geez I ain't that retarded…. –Moves onto a seven-
-And the next row-
CLA: Okay last one….. Turn right the way round to the left… stop there!! Perfect!! Right you know what to do….
J.LO: -Does so and lands on number eight- What now?
CHR: Turn a quarter turn to your right and walk forwards.
J.LO: -Walks into door frame- GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! -Takes sidestep and walks through the door-
M.G: Okay… time to put the wish into affect –Sobs-
-We are transported back outside on the edge of the forest, ahead there is a castle and on the right hand side of the path there seems to be some kind of merchant.-
TRE: Hmmm looks like old Percy is back in the trading business. He is very well known in these parts, but as with many things his allegiance does not come for free.
PER: -Irish-eque accent- My, my what a fine day… hello there… and who may you be?
M.G: Don't you even DARE sing…. If you know what's good for you….
J.LO: Things couldn't get much worse…..
SPA: Oh believe me…. They could.
J.LO: Hello… my name is J.Lo…..
PER: J.Lo? My that is a strange name….. And what may I be doing for you today?
J.LO: There is a lot you could do for me……..
M.G: This is getting us no where… Here let me talk to him. Oi Percy…. How've you been doing mate?
PER: My is that you M.G, m'dear? Last time we talked was when you were doing that thing with the dragons……
M.G: Yeah….. That was one fun birthday……
SPA: Too true….
PER: And dear Sparrow is there too… hello there… I see she's let you in on this one.
SPA: Yeah, for once she isn't being a glory hog.
M.G: -Pulls tongues-
PER: So what can I do for you ladies?
M.G: Information if you please….. Oh and a shortcut to Level two would be fab if you could.
PER: Hmm the info I can do……. But it'll cost you, what do you want to know?
SPA: That one over there has a golden chicken…. Take that as payment…..
M.G: …. And we want to know about the two renegade authors hanging about.
PER: Ah… I had a feeling you might want to know about them….. I don't know much more than you do…. Only they're a pair of authors on a destructive spree. Why? What have they been doing to you?
SPA: What HAVEN'T they been doing…… they've been totally messing around with our dungeoneer and this fic.
PER: That's very bad….. Hmm all I can give ya' is that I know that they have a hangout on Level two… but that's it. So what did they do to your dungeoneer?
M.G: They turned her into a guy…
PER: -Laughs hysterically- OMG!!!!
AUTH: -Almighty Glare of Death-
PER: -Notes death glare- He-hem… Okay fair enough… but you have to admit it's funny.
M.G: It is….. but they shouldn't have been able to do that… and now I can't reverse it.
PER: Well I can help ya with that one…. Merlin has one of his enchanted cottages down the road, and if you carry on down the road…. It leads you to a tunnel that will take you to level two…..
SPA: Percy YOU. ARE. THE. GREATEST!!!! Thanks so much!!!!
PER: Hold your horses lassies, you need a spell to reveal the cottage…… and that's it 'REVEAL'
M.G: Again thanks Percy! I seriously owe you one……
PER: Eh no problems… just be sure to invite me to your next birthday bash.
M.G: You got it!!!
TRE: Onwards then troupes..
CHR: J.Lo turn to your right…. Can you see the small path?
J.LO: Barely…..
CLA: Well follow it and hurry up about it!!!
J.LO: -Humphs and follows path-
-Next scene is a slightly more wooded area but there appears to be a large 'gap' as if something is missing-
GAR: Think this is the place…
CLA: I think you're right Gareth –Uses disgusting puppy dog eyes-
CHR: Well then lets try the spell…..
ALL: Spellcasting! R-E-V-E-A-L- REVEAL!
-Insert image of random cottage here-
VOICE: WHO DARES DISTURB ME!!!
J.LO: I do… I need your help.
-Flashy lighting affect and a guy in a long purple robe appears-
MER: I am the great and powerful Merlin…. Why have you come to seek my guidance!!
J.LO: -Opens mouth to speak-
M.G: Allow me… -Snaps fingers and puts J.Lo into fast forward-
A minute later
J.LO: -Panting for breath-
TRE: And that's it basically….
MER: Quite a predicament you've gotten yourself into Treguard….
TRE: You're telling me….
MER: Well as for the gender change… that is easy… but I will need something in return…
J.LO: Geez is nothing for free in this show?
M.G: You should know –Starts humming 'Closet knightmare watcher from the block'-
J.LO: -Glares-
MER: I have it! When you finally capture the renegade ones…. I would like their writing quill
CHR: Quill? What's one of those….?
ALL: -Facepalm-
M.G: It's a done deal!!
MER: Good, good! Now to aid you I will give you the password that will get you past the first guardian of the level two gate and it is 'acorn' don't forget it!
J.LO: And what's the second guardian?
MER: He checks your general knowledge…… Enough of that…. Anyway when you get the quill just yell out my name and I will be there like a flash.
TRE: Thank you Sir.
MER: You're welcome…. But first things first.
-Flashy light show take two and J.Lo is a girl again-
J.LO: YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY I'm female again THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!
MER: You are most welcome…… Now I must scoot… I have a poker evening to attend. Goodbye for now
-Vanishes as quick as he came-
GAR: That was good of him…
M.G: Yeah it was… but you lot better make sure you get that quill or else.
CHR: We'll get it don't worry about it!!!
M.G: GOOD! The thought of that guy coming after me is scary.
ALL: Very Scary!!
-Bell tolls J.Lo is frozen-
TRE: Now for the rest of you… -Does a Cossack and the others freeze-
M.G: Hey we're making some progress… were almost at level two.
TRE: Thank Christ for that….. I was about to paint my eyelids…. –Notes looks-… Like my eyes idiots… so I looked awake….
SPA: Ah… I see.
M.G: Saying that WHAT time is it….. -Looks at quill-watch?- OMG It's 1.30 am!!! (A/N: This is true)
SPA: I think it's time we got some rest people…. It's going to be a long tomorrow!