Dayknightmare: A Parody of Sorts
Chapter Seven: The Quest Continues Again …and Again… and Again …and Again!
A/N: -Looks proud of self- Hey yet another chapter up and running. I'm also very, very happy…… I GOT MY FIRST FLAME FOR THIS!!! W00T!!! Although this is normally a cause for concern I'm ecstatic! LOL! So to E who didn't actually leave an e-mail address THANKS!! It's nice to know someone red this!!!
A/N2: Hell yeah it's my birthday today (29th) So I just got loads of COOL stuff for my computer…. I LOVE MY PARENTS/ SISTER!!!
DIS: I don't own anything in this fic… except myself…. Everything else either belongs to some really rich TV/ film company and everyone else belongs to themselves.
When we left our… um… people at the end of the last chapter, they had finally reached the gateway to level two. However due to some very cruel timing they were frozen just as J.Lo was about to give her answer, much to the gangs annoyance and M.G and Sparrow's amusement. Now that everyone's regained their voices and lost more of their sanity… let's continue shall we.
SPA: Take this you evil little minx!!! –Crash is heard- and this!!! –Another crash-…..
M.G: Yo!!! Sparrow CHILL OUT!!!! I said I was sorry…. You're blowing this way out of proportion!!!! –Runs away-
SPA:: GRRRRRRR –Continues chasing- THEY DON'T CALL ME ANGRY FOR NOTHING!!!
M.G: OH BOY!! EEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!
-Insert random sounds of violence-
M.G: OKAY I SURRENDER!!!!! I'M SORRYYYYYYY!! JUST STOP DOING THAT! –Choking sounds-
SPA: Fine you're forgiven!!!
M.G: Bout time… you've been bloody chasing me for the last…. How long has it been?
SPA: -Shrugs- I dunno……? Lets just carry on with this.
M.G: Okay…. Whatever! –Grins-
TRE: Is it safe to come out??
PIC: Yeah… has world war three stopped yet?
M.G: Sod off…. We weren't that bad.
TRE: Tell that to everyone else… the masses that fled in your wake!
SPA: Okay NOW you're over exaggerating!
PIC: Are we buggary!! Loads of people were complaining about your rampage!
M.G: Okay so we may have messed up this realm a little… nothing a little spit and polish can't solve…..
SPA: Or a three ton dumper truck!
M.G: SPARROW!!!!
SPA: It's true… we did kinda trash the place…..
M.G: Yeah I know that and you know that but were not supposed to let THEM know that…..
TRE: -Laughs- Ha-ha BUSTED!!!
SPA: Oops…. Sorry!
M.G: No worries!! Come on Treguard lets get these loser on the move!!
PIC: Yeah… I wanna see if the bimbo actually knows the answer!!
M.G: Me too!!
TRE: Me THREE!!
ALL: -The Look-
TRE: -Sulks- Stop ruining my fun!
ALL: O-kay!
TRE: -Sulks more-
M.G: Come on Treguard…. Unfreeze em will ya?
TRE: NO! I'm sick of you people picking on me constantly! I'M ON STRIKE!!!!
M.G/ SPA: WHAT!!!!!
TRE: I'M GOING ON STRIKE!!! I SHALL TAKE NO FURTHER PART IN THIS INSANITY!!!
PIC: Way to go TREGUARD!!!!
AUTHORS: -Almighty glare of death-
PIC: -Cowers slightly-
TRE: I've had it up to here! I refuse to be tortured and tormented anymore! And your almighty glare of death is not going to work this time!!!
M.G: You can't just go on strike!
TRE: And CAN and I WILL!
SPA: I think he's serious M.G.
M.G: -REALLY P'Off- OH BLOODY FANTASTIC!!!! Not only have I got to put up with 'The Bloody Enemy' hanging about and messing things up! But now I've got mutinous staff. This is turning into a great day!
SPA: -Looks scared- Um… M.G I'm gonna take a step over here…. You're scaring me.
M.G: -Glares at Sparrow-
SPA: -Cowers- STOP THAT! It's really unnerving!
M.G: -Sulks- Why can't anything go right!
SPA: Because it's you that's doing it?!
M.G: -Glares intensifies- Okay… strike… do what you want….. but there will be hell to pay –Walks off-
SPA: Um… M.G where are you going!!!… MMMMMMM.GGGGGGGGG!!!!!
TRE: HAHAHAHAHA!!! I win! I beat the author, I beat the author!
M.G: -Walks through dungeon door- I think NOT Treguard!
TRE: -Cacks pants- EEEEP!!!
SPA: -Wistful- Ah so THAT'S where she went!
M.G: -A.G.O.D- So you think you can strike on MY watch do you! Well I don't believe you can –Advances on Treguard-
TRE: -Backs away- Double EEEP!
M.G: I think it's time you were taught some respect!! –Does clapping fist movement-
TRE: TRIPLE EEP!!!!! –Starts running round trying to escape-
M.G: Nuh-uh! You ain't getting away THAT easily!! –Snaps fingers. Treguard starts running in slow-mo-
TRE: -Very slow- NNNNNNNNOOOOOO DDDDDOOOONNN'TTTT LLLEEETTT HHEEERR GGGEEETTT MMEEEEE!!!!
PIC: Sorry you're on your own..
TRE: -Still very slow- TTTTTTTTRRRRAAAAIIITTTTTTOOOORRR!!!!!!
M.G: -Evil grin- Yay! Time to layeth the smack down!!!! (A/N: Don't own that saying either)
-Here the author thought it would be a good idea to insert one of her now patented 'Safety curtains of DOOM!' as to block the muchos grande violence from the innocent viewers!-
TRE: -Out cold on floor-
PIC: -Winces- Remind me NEVER to get you mad…. You're just plain scary!
M.G: Victory to me….. –Realises something- AH CRAP!!!! We have no host for this round…….
PIC: I could do it!
M.G: Awwww…. You're such a suck up pickle! I knew there was something I liked about you!
PIC: -Blushes- So can I…???
SPA: I say yes M.G….. After all you remember previous disasters when you've had to get 'Sub-Hosts' in…
M.G: -Rubs head thoughtfully- Yeah…. Man that was scary… Johnny was just plain weird…. Even S.J caught the weird bug!
(A/N: I am talking about my weakest link fic here. Johnny('s- eeyore) is a fellow author on this site and my other best mate. S.J is my sis…. I had to wrangle them in after Anne got hurt…. It was fun).
SPA: My point exactly…… So let the little pixie do it!
M.G: Fine! Pickle for this chapter it's all yours!
PIC: ALRIGHT!!!! I GET PRIME TIME!!!! –Whoops with Joy- THANK YOU!!!!
M.G: You can thank us later, by restraining Treguard when he wakes up whilst I make myself scarce!
PIC: -Nods- So your staying down here for this round!
M.G: Yeah….. I'm monitoring you… you know see how you do and save it for future reference.
PIC: -Shrugs- Shall I unfreeze this lot then!
AUTHORS: YUP!
PIC: -Finishes Rain Dance and unfreezes the dolts. A bolt of lightening strikes M.G and a storm breaks out in the dungeon-
M.G: -Frazzled- NOT FUNNY SPARROW!!!!!!
SPA: -Laughs- Sorry! I couldn't resist!
PIC: -Looks at rapidly rising water level- TURN IT OFF!!! TURN IT OFF!!! We're all gonna die!!
SPA: -Stops storm-
CLA: EWWWW!!! ICKY DAMPNESS!!!!
CHR: MY NEW BOOTS ARE RUINED!!!!!
M.G: Oh STOP complaining!
ALL: -Swivel round and look at M.G in shock-
GAR: That's not……
CLA: It can't be……
CHR: The author….
M.G: Well at least one of them…. I am the one and only M.G!!!
CLA: You look sort of familiar…. (0)
CHR: Yeah… you remind me of someone too…..
M.G: -Looks nervous- Um…. No you must be mistaken….. We've never met before in our lives Cough.
SPA: Yeah… fools…. I mean how would we know you….
CLA: I guess your right….
CHR: I'm sure I've seen you before!
M.G: -Glares-
PIC: People come on we have to get moving!
GAR: Where's Treguard?
M.G: -Blushes- Um… there –Points at prone figure-
ALL: WHA….!!!!!
GAR: What happened!
SPA: He threatened strike so M.G taught him a lesson and laid the smack down on him…..
ALL: -Look down right scared-
CLA: Remind me NEVER to get her mad! (1)
PIC: Lets move it or lose it!
-Back in the game world-
J.LO: HUH!! What just happened!!! NO WAY!!! I didn't get frozen just as I was going to give my answer did I?
CHR: YUP!!!
J.LO: Man that sucks!
CLA: Tell us about it!
PIC: Come on people… Hesper has other people to interrogate!
HES: DAMN straight I do… Um.. where's Treguard gone?
GAR: Madam over there knocked him out because he threatened strike –Jabs thumb at M.G-
M.G: Tell the whole world why don't you!!!!
HES: Poor guy….. and just WHO is she of great ass-whooping power!
M.G: The names M.G…. I'm sorta the author of this insanity! Along with my friend Sparrow…
HES: Oh… Right… Good grief Treguard's can be an idiot sometimes…. Even I know not to p of a fan-fic author!
J.LO: -Clears throat VERY loudly- Um… I am waiting to give my answer here!
HES: Oh right…. What is it then RUNT!
J.LO: -A.G.O.D- The answer you poor excuse for a stone monument is a human being! Four legs crawling when a baby. Two when an adult and three two legs plus a walking stick when an old person….
-Insert moment of tense silence!-
HES: You are….. Correct! –Looks annoyed- You may pass….
J.LO: YEAH!!! TAKE THAT BRICKY!!! –J.Lo skips through the gate-
HES: -Mutters- Bitch –Indiscreetly throws brick at J.Lo, which clonks her on the back of her head sending her sprawling forward-
ALL: -Laugh-
J.LO: -Fumes silently gets up and carries on walking-
M.G: My god… she didn't moan!
-J.Lo walks forward down some stairs and into a room-
PIC: Hmmm… don't remember this being here… tread carefully J.Lo!
J.LO: Where am I and where should I go!
GAR: Just walk forward the door is straight ahead!
-Lightening bolt and a figure appears. He is quite young and has short dark hair-
M.G: -Growls- YOU!!!!
MAN: Me…. Nice to see you again M.G!
M.G: Johno! Grrr you little brat… what do you think you're doing messing with my stuff!!!
JOHNO: Just having a little fun that's all, plus getting paid a hefty amount! Lord Fear has been waiting for this kind of opportunity for ages!
M.G: And so he hired you as his lacky… I'm disappointed!
PIC: OKAY! WHAT IS GOING HERE!!!!
M.G: One of 'The Blody Enemy' has just reared their ugly mug!
JOHNO: I'm hurt! –Pouts-
J.LO: WHAT is going on… I can't see anything!
JOHNO: HAH! Your little pop princess dungeoneer is caught like a rat in a trap….. heh! Neilus is gonna be so jealous…. Lord Fear offered an extra pay rise for which one of us took you down! I wsa just going to pull some sort of trap… but decided the person touch is so much better and fun!
M.G: She isn't going to be that easy to beat….
J.LO: -Looks shocked- YOU'RE SHOWING FAITH IN ME!!!!
M.G: Again I do not relish the decision… but I have no choice…. You're the only one there who can get close to him.
JOHNO: HAH! This should be easy…. J.Lo… I challenge you to a duel!
J.LO: A duel of WHAT exactly….???
JOHNO: A lightsaber duel of course… but since you don't have one… I guess I'm just gonna cream you! (2)
M.G: Oh NO YOU DON'T JOHNO!! J.Lo…. You're just gonna have to trust me –Goes into random trance-
J.LO: HEY! I can't control my body!
M.G: Yeah that's coz I'm controlling it!… Lightsaber please Sparrow!
SPA: Alrighty then!
M.G: -Lighsaber appears in hand, well J.Lo's hand- Thanks… JOHNO YOU'RE GOING DOWN BOY!!!!!
JOHNO: HA! I'm older than you…. So who are you calling boy child!
M.G: I ain't no child!! –Swipes, Johno blocks-
JOHNO: I don't see why your doing this…. We used to have such fun!
M.G: Yeah we did… but that was before you were seduced by the power of the dark side of fan-fic writing. I learned between what was hard and what was easy very early on. I choose hard, you choose easy!
SPA: Come on M.G! Kick lover boys ass!!
ALL: LOVER BOY?????
SPA: Ooops!!!
CHR: Is he your boyfriend?
M.G: No. He. IS. NOT!!! Nor will he ever be!!!
CHR: So do you have a boyfriend!? (3)
M.G: -Looks scared- WHY are you asking me this?
CHR: Dunno… just curious!
M.G: NO I DON'T! (4)
CHR: WHY?
M.G: Because I don't want one okay!
JOHNO: This monologue is getting boring! True I used to like you a bit that way… but now I don't…. It's much more fun to screw with your brain… -Random hand movement-
M.G/ J.LO: ARGH…..
J.LO: THAT BLOODY HURT YOU STUPID GIOT!!!!!
M.G: Tell me about it…. He's not going to get another shot though YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
-J.LO goes flying through the air dramatic ninja stylie and crashes blades with Johno. Big ass sword fight breaks out-
M.G: Take this you sodding loser!!!!
JOHNO: Is that all you've got… bring it on little girl..
M.G: GRRRRR that does it!!!! –Gets real mad and goes into bersrker mode- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
JOHNO: OH S!!! I'm gonna get creamed….. retreat!!!!!
M.G: -Smiles smugly- Oh I don't think so….. Pickle NOW!!!!
PIC: Righty O' –Drops magical cage over Johno-
JOHNO: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! –Shakes bars- Let ME OUT NOW!!!
SPA: AS IF!!! You've caused enough chaos!!
M.G: Give me the quill.
JOHNO: What? I don't know what you're talking about..?
M.G: Don't lie you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!!!
JOHNO: I haven't got it! I gave it to Neilus… to look after!
M.G: DAM! I really didn't want to go hunting after that man!!
J.LO: WHY?
M.G: He's well sort of my mentor… he encouraged me to write again…. Especially this (A/N: This is true…. He's actually thrilled I put him in.. he-he I get to bash on him)
GAR: That's rough….
SPA: Come on guys…. Lets get moving…
M.G: Yeah.. Sparrow… could you magic the cage somewhere….
SPA: Where exactly do you want it….
M.G: -Evil grin- I'm sure you'll think of somewhere sufficiently nasty…..
SPA: OH YEAH FREE REIGN!!!! I know exactly where this is going….. Straight down to Authors Hell: Writers block division!
JOHNO: NOOOOOO!! You can't do this to me!!! Please M.G anywhere but there!!!
M.G: You brought this upon yourself –Does Caesar style thumbs down-
JOHNO: -Plummets down hole- NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo……….
-Bell dongs J.Lo freezes-
SPA: DUDE! We totally made no progress…
M.G: I know…. But at least we got rid of half of 'The Bloody Enemy'
SPA: Yeah all that's left is Neilus…….
M.G: -Glum- Yeah I know….
PIC: Should I freeze this lot?
SPA: YUP!
PIC: -Pulls out Pixie wand (Not that one perverts!) and waves it. The twerp trio is frozen)
TRE: -Groans and starts to wake up- HUH! What hit me?
M.G: I did…. I hope you've learnt your lesson about messing with me….
TRE: I have…. I actually feel a lot better… I think I just needed a decent sleep….
PIC: That's very weird….
AUTHORS: UH-HUH!!!
M.G: Right! I'm going back upstairs… I'll see you guys later –Walks off with shoulders slumped-
TRE: Why do I have the feeling that something very bad is in store!
PIC: We're just gonna have to wait and see.
And so we leave the scene here… with a slightly depressed M.G realising she's going to have to go after one of her greatest influences, Treguard realising that you DON'T mess with an angsty author and Pickle realising that perhaps he should try and get his own show…. Tune in for more chaos and insanity on the next edition of Dayknightmare: A Parody of Sorts!
(0) Chris and Clare went to school/ College with me and I hated them … that explains why I look familiar to them.
(1) Clare learnt this the hard way. She REALLY PD me off once and I pulled her across a table by the shirt collar. People never looked at me as the 'quiet one' ever again after that –Evil smirk-
(2) The real Johno made a web video of him playing around with a lightsaber…. This is honouring that!
(3) This ACTUALLY HAPPENED! Weirdly one day the real Chris was sitting next me on a computer… whilst I was writing something (Luckily NOT this!) and asked If I had a boyfriend.
(4) This technically isn't true… I just wanted to put in that conversation… weird huh!