A Day in the Life of a Tok'ra by Jacob Carter

by jakefanatic

Pretty much what the title suggests! Takes place during the episode of Show and Tell. Enjoy.

Author's Notes: ' ' indicate Jacob mentally talking with Selmak, " " indicate actually talking, italics indicate the symbiote is speaking out loud, not the host!

Spoilers: In the Line of Duty, Tok'ra Part 1 & 2, Show and Tell

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A Day in the Life of a Tok'ra by Jacob Carter

It's early morning and I am awakened by the sound of my alarm clock. With my eyes still closed, my hand reaches to hit the snooze button. Only after a few moments of questing, my hand finds no alarm clock! The sound is originating within my mind!

"Selmak!" I grumble out loud.

Selmak's devilish laughter erupts within my mind.

"Selmak, that's not funny!" I speak out loud again before quickly remembering that I can communicate with my symbiote through my thoughts. I've only been with the Tok'ra for a month now and have assimilated quite well thanks to Selmak's patience and tutelage. However, after some fifty plus years, it's hard to break the habit of speaking out loud! 'Selmak, really, of all ways to wake me up, do you have to use the sound of an alarm clock?'

'In what way would you have me wake you then, Jacob?' Selmak playfully asks.

'I could think of a few other ways that are much more…pleasant than an annoying alarm clock,' I reply, with a leer.

'Jacob Michael Carter! You are a dirty old man! I'm going to have to wash your brain with soap!'

'What?' I ask, playing innocent.

Then the little shit delivers a bomb on me, just to wipe that smirk off my face.

'I'm sure Anise could think of a few pleasant ways to wake you!' Selmak diabolically sniggers.

'Oh, God…please…don't ever threaten me like that! Not even as a joke! The alarm clock will do!' I reply hastily.

Again Selmak laughs at me. Believe it or not, this is a part of our morning ritual. I feebly attempt to outwit my symbiote. Only I'm doomed from the start since my symbiote is damn near two thousand years old and so much wiser than I am! I have reluctantly accepted the fact that I may never win an argument with Selmak. But that doesn't mean I will ever give up trying.

I'm what you call STUBBORN!

'Bullheaded…obstinate…inflexible!' Selmak quickly inserts.

'Ok, I think they get the point!'

'Headstrong…unreasonable…'

'Selmak!' I shout as Selmak giggles fiendishly out of control.

After our playful banter and harmless gibes, Selmak fills me with her warmth and affection. Her you ask? Yes, you heard me right…HER. This whole idea of a symbiote being sexless is a crock of shit! While Selmak may not have all the lovely bits and pieces of a woman, she is most definitely FEMALE!

Please, just don't tell anyone else that, especially Colonel Jack O'Neill or my good friend General George Hammond! Else, my reputation as a man's man would be flushed down the proverbial toilet and I would never be taken seriously by anyone in the Air Force! Believe me, if I found out a friend of mine had a female snake in his head I wouldn't hesitate to crack joke after joke. That's why you can't tell Jack. He's too much like me and would never let a good prank or joke go to waste. And you can't tell George because…well let's just say Georgie boy has fallen victim to many, probably too many, of my pranks and he would just love to have this kind of information on my personal head snake to get back at me!

"OUCH!" I cry out feeling a sting at the back of my mind from Selmak.

I could swear I even hear growling!

Yet, another indication that she is female. She's so sensitive!

'I just don't like being called a snake!' she reminds me before going behind a closed door with the 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging on the doorknob within my mind.

I sigh and lay staring at the crystal ceiling above my bed, trying to ignore the fact that the door, Selmak happened to pick from my memories, was from a hotel where Allison and I had our honeymoon.

That's another thing I haven't grown accustomed too…remembering everything in such detail. Selmak and well…all symbiotes have photographic memories; they remember everything! Only for me, some unpleasant memories have resurfaced and I'm unable to control them. Most of them I had buried deep within my mind and many I had wished that I would never remember. But I don't want to talk about those.

On the flip side, the pleasant memories that I had filed away are so much easier to access now. Allison, my wife…how I've missed seeing her so clearly in my mind. Wow, she's even lovelier than I remember.

You know, Selmak actually reminds me a little of Allison. She puts up with my shit and has infinite patience during those rare occasions when I act like an asshole. Oh…and she has a wicked sense of humor. So, like I did with Allison, I now must do with Selmak.

I swallow my pride.

Within my mind I gently knock on the door, wondering if I should have imaginary flowers and a box of chocolates. I don't even know what her opinion of flowers is! And I sure as hell know she doesn't know what chocolate even tastes like!

'Sel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Please…come out. I don't want to start our day like this,' I apologize in my most sincere mental voice.

My hand reaches for the doorknob and tests it. It's unlocked so I venture into the room. A woman, who I recognize as Saroosh when she was very young, lays curled on the bed, her face covered with a pillow. She's crying. Again my thoughts linger on Allison. So many times had I opened our bedroom door to find her crying on the bed after we had an argument.

And again, a memory that I don't ever want to remember resurfaces. I cover my eyes with my arm childishly believing that that would prevent me from witnessing the memory. My wife…the accident…finding her…

Suddenly everything goes dark! I don't feel anything! I don't see anything! My heart races with fear.

'Shh, Jacob…be calm,' Selmak's voice coos to me as her warmth envelops my mind and fills me. 'You're safe now. I have blocked the unpleasant memory.'

'Thank you,' I mentally sigh and send her my appreciation.

'I am sorry, Jacob. I will try to choose places from your mind more carefully until you've learned to control your thoughts and feelings better.'

'How is it that you feel the way I felt when…when my wife died? You weren't even there.'

'I feel what you feel,' she simply replies. 'We all have feelings associated with our memories.'

'Right, I'm just not used to some of these things between us yet.'

The mood suddenly changes. I am filled with Selmak's amusement.

'As am I,' she chuckles to me. 'You are my first male host. I am not yet accustomed to how differently men think from women!'

'Yeah, that's not all you need to learn about!' I comment sarcastically.

'Sorry, Jacob,' she replies and I feel her embarrassment.

I wonder…do symbiotes blush? Anyone know the answer to that one?

'We do have to learn to function as one entity,' she continues seriously.

'Well the next time I have to take a pee I suggest you let me handle it. In fact, every time I need to take a pee, I would prefer to handle it.'

'Jacob that will not matter once we achieve complete unity,' she counters. 'We are still learning from each other!'

'Selmak, this is very important to a man like me so I would appreciate you keep your hands off! That's all I'm asking!'

'Argh! I'm talking to a wall here!' she scoffs at me but I could still sense her amusement.

I told you I was stubborn!

'Come on, I'm starving!' I cheerfully say as I get out of bed. 'Let's go find out what slop they're serving for breakfast.'

'Afterwards can we go to the Baths?' she asks hopefully.

'Of course,' I reply.

I quickly dress into my Tok'ra uniform wishing I had a jumpsuit to wear instead. A jumpsuit may be a little tight in nether regions but at least the fabric is comfortable.

'Quit your bitching, Jacob! I could easily make you wear a dress!' Selmak playfully threatens me.

'I'm sorry, Selmak. These Tok'ra uniforms may keep out the sand but my skin really misses cotton material. I don't even know what material this garb is made out of. All I know is it chafes my hide!'

'You can still wear underwear!' Selmak counters.

'Unfortunately, I was unable to pack my skivvies before joining the Tok'ra,' I snort as I headed out of my semiprivate living quarters.

You know…I can't believe these people don't have doors! What if someone wants to have a private moment alone or with a woman?

'Does that mean we'll be having sex, Jacob?' Selmak asks, laughing. She already knows the answer to that one! 'I believe I can be helpful in picking out a few possible candidates!'

'NO! I don't think I could perform with you in my head!'

'I promise to keep the cheering down to a minimum!' she giggles evilly.

'Selmak…just how long has it been since you last…you know?' I thoughtfully ask.

Selmak didn't reply and I sense her mood changed, she was no longer amused. However, I have access to her memories, like she does to mine so I seek out the answer myself.

'You poor thing,' I tell her sympathetically.

'Don't 'poor thing' me. You have no idea what it's like waiting so long! On the other hand…really, Jacob, a man at your age in an automobile!'

'Hey, that was a 67' Shelby GT! It's a vintage classic! And for the record, she started kissing me! She really liked my car…I guess it turned her on,' I snicker, making Selmak wonder if she made the right decision about me becoming her host.

"Good morning, Selmak," Garshaw nods as I pass by her.

"That's Selmak and Jacob! And good morning, Garshaw and Yosef!" I snap back then storm on.

Selmak immediately chastises me for being so rude.

'Why do they assume you're always in control? I'm in here too!' I argue back. 'In fact, I notice that all the Tok'ra address the symbiotes and rarely the host! It's like the hosts don't even exist! Do you like being ignored? Because I sure as hell don't! In fact, the only host I've ever really talked to around this place is Martouf!'

Selmak grew silent. That was strange. I learned very quickly that Selmak always had something to say and never hesitated to say it! She couldn't keep her mouth shut at times either. My first couple of days here I didn't sleep a wink because she was going on about her life's history! I didn't want to be rude. She seemed very excited to be telling someone new her life's story.

However, I learned that I don't always need to hear her. I could sense her feelings. At the moment, she was…ashamed. Again, I swallow my pride during a moment that I could have actually won an argument. The things a man has to do for his symbiote! Christ almighty! I sound like I'm married to her! Only there's no sex!

'I guess I'll have to break them of this habit,' I merrily tell her and immediately feel her love and appreciation, as well as her relief.

'We, Jacob. We'll have to break them of this habit,' Selmak reminds me.

'Of course,' I smile as I enter the Common Room where meals are prepared and consumed.

Ok, now I know you're curious about what the Tok'ra eat. Let me tell you this…don't be. Their idea of food is about as dry as the desert planets they like to hide on! In fact, I don't think it even qualifies as food! Basically, it's a gooey substance that looks like baby food, smells like shit, and tastes like an old tire – don't ask. I only eat it because it happens to be rich in protein and vitamins that both the host and symbiote need.

Anyway, I find a nice quiet corner and take my bowl of slop, wishing for a hot cup of coffee to go with it.

'Why is coffee so important to you?' Selmak asks me as I begin eating. 'From what I understand, the ingredients are not good for the human body.'

'Because I enjoy the aroma and the flavor,' I answer honestly. 'Plus, coffee helps as a pick me up in the morning. Not everyone is a morning person. Some people need their caffeine. Next time on Earth, I let you try it. You'll like it, I promise.'

'Yes, I'm sure there are many things from Earth I would enjoy. And I am look forward to trying…coffee,' Selmak replies sounding rather dubious.

'You don't sound so enthusiastic!' I mumble to her.

'I just don't comprehend how much junk your people enjoy stuffing into their bodies. No wonder you race dies so young!'

I burst into laughter, damn near choking on my last bite of breakfast. Then I immediately notice everyone looking at me shaking their heads. I'm still the rookie and don't always know how to keep things on the inside. Before I give them even more reason to question if they made the correct decision or not in allowing Selmak to blend with me, I quickly leave and head to the Baths.

'I'm sorry Selmak. I couldn't help myself. I just find it funny that there was a time when a man my age was rare. And now, the people of Earth think that living into their eighties is a good thing! Since, I've blended with you the age think kind of goes out the window…I mean…I'll probably out live my grandchildren!'

'You have grandchildren? Why haven't I seen them in your memories?'

My amusement is instantly gone.

'I don't want to talk about that subject,' I reply as I enter the Baths.

'You should really talk to your son, Jacob,' Selmak gently suggests.

'I said I don't want to talk about it!' I shout at her.

Selmak remains unaffected.

'Ok. But we will have to deal with this subject sooner or later,' she tells me.

I sigh, kneeling down to check the water temperature of the large pool. At least the Baths are deserted and Selmak has her choice of which pool to go in.

Good, I don't feel like talking to anyone at the moment and withdraw. Selmak's the one who enjoys baths. She usually swims about in the largest pool before moving to the small pool, which is more like a hot tub, to relax in. I allow her control of my body, reminding her that there will be no funny business. She simply laughs at me, calls me a silly child.

While she's swimming about, I remain in my private sanctuary where she cannot go, cutting myself off from the outside world. Although, I'm not completely cut off, I do sense Selmak's presence acutely. It's actually a place within my mind where she won't go unless I ask her to. I know she's right about my son but I'm just not ready to deal with him. Especially since he never visited me in the hospital when I was dying! He could have picked up the damn phone! It hurt but I won't admit that to anyone, not even Selmak. Did I ever mention that I'm STUBBORN?

After a while, I suddenly sense Selmak's distress and I emerge from my hiding place to discover Anise has Selmak trapped in a corner. I'm sorry to say this but she dresses like a tramp. I mean her leather outfit is so tight that her boobs look like they're going to pop! Meanwhile, Selmak is desperately clinging onto the towel around my waist, as she's afraid Anise is going to yank it off at any moment!

"I said no!" Selmak growls. "I cannot allow you to take advantage of Jacob!"

Ok, quick insert here – I have to say it tickles when my voice does that! And it's feels so weird when Selmak's in control of my body! It's kind of like a dream state only you're very alert and attune to your surroundings.

Ok now, back to Anise corning Selmak and I in the corner!

Selmak sounded mean but I knew she was a little terrified! I could literally feel her little flippers quivering inside my head! Anise has been after me since I arrived! Trying to take advantage of the new guy! Now, I love the company of women, my wife most of all. But I don't like it when a woman practically tries to rip my clothes off without my consent! Martouf actually had to save me a couple of times. Only now, Selmak and I were on our own!

With Selmak in control of my body, I could see more than her and saw an opportunity for escape. Without warning, I quickly take control from Selmak and shove Anise into the pool then take off running like a bat out of hell!

Selmak's in such a state of shock that she was speechless as I sprint through the tunnels towards the safety of our quarters. I rudely ignore any Tok'ra along the way. Of course I did just give them another reason to doubt my abilities to fit in. Oh well, it could have been worse. I could have been streaking by in my Birthday suit!

Only once inside my quarters do I relax and my mind suddenly fills with Selmak's joyous laughter. I start laughing with her.

'Did you see the look on her face?' Selmak laughs. 'I never would have thought of that!'

'You're dealing with the master of pranks here! I've done shit like that my entire life. I even pushed a teacher into a pool once on a dare!'

"Is everything alright?" a friendly voice asks from the doorway.

"Martouf, yes, every thing's fine," I laugh.

"Did I say something to amuse you?" Martouf asks with a confused look on his face.

"No, Selmak and I just had a close encounter…of the scary kind!"

"Anise," he says with a bemused smirk.

"Let's just say I think she finally got the hint to leave Selmak and I alone!" I reply finally controlling my giggle fit. "So, what can I do for you?"

"We received a signal from Earth. The Council was wondering if…"

"I'll go!" I say excitedly.

Perhaps too excitedly! Martouf simply smiles at me. And again, I have to remind myself that I'm his junior and not take offense to his reactions to me!

"I'll inform the Council. A guard will accompany you and Selmak."

"I'm old enough that I don't need a babysitter!" I protest.

"I agree with Jacob. We are more than capable of going alone," Selmak adds.

Martouf eyes flash so I know Lantesh is going to talk now. The glowing eye bit is kind of cool! I just hope Lantesh is in a good mood. He gets cranky real easy!

"Selmak, you out of all the Tok'ra know how invaluable you are. Many of us are still unsure of the Tau'ri. The Council is wise to error on the side of caution. Do you not agree?"

"Of course I agree. However, we are traveling to Jacob's home world. We will be safe. Therefore, no escort will be necessary."

Lantesh narrowed his eyes. I learned that was never a good sign after I unintentionally offended him my first day among the Tok'ra. Did I mention he's cranky most of the time?

"To put it bluntly, not all of us believe your blending with Jacob is wise. There has even been some discussion to remove you from the host."

What? I thought I was doing so well! Shit, whom did I piss off this time? I was suddenly overwhelmed by Selmak's anger. Whoa, am I glad it's not directed at me this time!

"Jacob saved my life! He blended with me when he basically had no idea what he was actually getting into! While our blending has been difficult, Jacob knows he has a duty and is honor bound to me and the Tok'ra! He will not let any of the Tok'ra down. He just needs to be given the chance. Of which, he cannot do while being treated like a child by the Council!"

That's my girl! Sticking up for her guy! Not that we have that kind of relationship. I mean we're intimate but not intimate! She knows everything about me and I know everything about her! We have a mutual respect for each other! We have a working relationship!

WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!

I had better shut up before I dig my grave any deeper!

Martouf's head quickly dips and I know Lantesh has taken a backseat. Good, I just don't like him. He always yells at me for speaking out of turn.

'Jacob, shh!' Selmak snaps at me.

Apparently, I tend to speak out of turn a lot!

"Selmak, please be calm. You know how passionate Lantesh can be," Martouf says sincerely. "There are only a select few who oppose your blending with Jacob. I have come to know him and believe he will be a valuable asset to the Tok'ra."

'You hear that! I'm a valuable asset!' I cheer to Selmak whereupon she shushes me again.

"However, I believe it would be wise to take an escort. We cannot risk losing either one of you," Martouf smiles flashing those pearly whites of his. He must use bleach! No one's teeth are that bright!

Or, does Lantesh take care of that also? I wonder if Selmak will do that for me also.

"Very well," Selmak sighs but I can feel she is still a little irritated at the whole idea of having a babysitter.

"I regret that I will be unable to escort you," Martouf apologizes. "My duties are required elsewhere. However, I have picked the guard myself. You will both be in capable hands."

"Thank you. When do we leave?"

"Whenever you are ready. The guard is waiting in the Council chambers for my instructions."

"We will be there shortly."

With that said, Martouf nods his head and leaves. Selmak gives control of my body back to me and I quickly dress, without complaining about my Tok'ra uniform. My thoughts are on Sam. I have not seen her in a month. And the last time, we didn't have much time together. After blending with Selmak I realize that it's not too late to be a better father to my daughter and I'm eager to try.

A few minutes after that and I'm walking up the steps into the event horizon of an active wormhole. I must say that first trip really threw me for a loop. I mean I literally tossed my cookies all over the floor! With Selmak in there, she keeps my stomach steady for the trip. Hell, I don't even have to worry about indigestion anymore with her controlling my metabolism!

Upon exiting the wormhole, I immediately see my daughter, my good friend George, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c. I cannot help but smile. My Sammy looks so much like her mother, especially when she smiles.

'Jacob, I am absolutely amazed that you were able to procreate such a lovely child!' Selmak taunts me.

'Ha ha! Hey, lady, I know I'm not the best looking apple of the bunch but you don't need to hit me below the belt!' I tell her as I descend the ramp.

'What did Allison ever see in you?' she gibes.

"Hello, Sam," I smile, hugging my daughter tightly and ignoring Selmak's last comment.

Truth is I honestly don't know what Allison ever saw in me. She simply said I was a good man with a kind heart who knew how to treat her right. She was very grateful for the two beautiful children we had together. And in the end, I think that's what she wanted, a family and a good man to care for her.

"Dad, we have a little bit of a situation, and we may need Selmak's help," my daughter immediately tells me.

That's my Sammy. Looks like her mother but she's a lot like me. I never had time for bullshit either. But that was before I blended with Selmak.

"Selmak, Selmak, Selmak. I thought maybe you just wanted to see your old man," I jokingly complain, feeling this tingly sensation in my gut that's somewhat familiar. I ignore it, attributing it to Gate lag or something.

Sam smiles, "I do Dad."

"But this time we do need your symbiote, Jacob," George seriously chimes in.

"Nice to see you too, George," I tell him making him smile.

For those interested, George and I go way back…but that's another story.

"No offense, old friend," George chuckles.

'Old…hah…I'm a teenager in Tok'ra years!' I think to myself.

'Jacob, knock it off!' Selmak gently chastises me as I bow my head.

'Do the cool eye glowing bit!' I tell her.

'Jacob!'

'Please,' I whine. 'Come on…please…'

Selmak takes control of my body and does the eye glowing bit. COOL! I'm going to have her do that in front of a mirror so I can see what my eyes actually look like!

Oh, I had better be quiet. Selmak doesn't like interruptions. She's just so sensitive!

"It is an honor to once again return to your planet, General. What can we do for you?"

She's so diplomatic too!

'Jacob! Put a cork in it!'

'Right! Sorry!'

"Have you ever heard of something called a Reetou?" George asks and I quickly access Selmak's memories of the Reetou.

'Bugs! Huge invisible bugs?' I shout in my mind.

'Jacob, one more outburst and I will let Anise do whatever she wants to you!'

I quickly retreat to my private sanctuary. Only there can I be guaranteed to not be a nuisance. However, I continue to listen.

"Yes, why?" Selmak asks.

"We may have one here," George says.

'Oh shit!' Selmak says to herself then quickly orders our escort to return to the Tok'ra base and bring back some weapons.

I have to refrain from laughing. I have been such a horrible influence on Selmak at times. She has picked up a few of my bad habits. Swearing being amongst the top of the list!

As George leads us though the base, I quietly ask Sam how she's been doing. She seems happy here. Happiest I've seen in a long time. I'm glad and Selmak shares in my joy. I don't have much time for anything else as George invites me into a room where Colonel O'Neill is sitting beside a young boy.

'What the hell?' I question Selmak when she starts trembling.

I barely notice how distressed the boy is because my stomach just dropped to my ankles! That always happens when Selmak starts wiggling around in my head. She is very agitated and in fact, she actually is in pain! I barely even hear my own daughter's voice beside me.

'Jacob, leave the room, please!' Selmak pleads with me.

I immediately do as she requests. Relief is almost instantaneous as we head out in the hallway. I quickly compose myself, doing my absolute best to not hurl on the floor. I already did that once in front of my daughter! I can't let that happen in front of George! He would never let it go!

"You are correct. There is a Reetou in that room," I inform them as my escort dutifully returns. "Taka ram."

My escort hands me the TER. Because of Selmak's knowledge, I instinctively know how to operate all Tok'ra weapons and technology. However, I must point out that this is my first time handling a Tok'ra weapon.

"This will illuminate the Reetou if it is there," I inform them.

'Selmak, are you ready?' I ask, taking in a deep breath.

'Yes, Jacob. I will attempt to remain still this time but it will be difficult.'

'Do you best,' I tell her.

"Follow me," I order them, then head back into the room.

In a matter of moments, the Reetou is revealed. Damn, they're ugly fuckers!

"Please, don't hurt her!" the boy shouts, jumping in front of the Reetou.

"My God!" Colonel O'Neill gasps.

"Hold your fire!" George orders everyone.

"She could've hurt us a long time ago, if that's what she intended," Sam tells me.

'Let's get the hell out of here, Jacob!' Selmak tells me and I feel her distress.

"Tok'ra kree!" I order my escort and immediately vacate the room.

Selmak instantly feels better and begins working on my queasy stomach and I send her my thanks.

"We'll meet in the briefing room in five minutes," George tells Sam and me.

"Yes, Sir," Sam nods.

"Thanks, George," I smile, then immediately turn to my daughter as we head down the hall. "Too bad there's no time for coffee! I've been dying for a cup! I haven't had one in over a month!"

"The Tok'ra don't have anything like it?" she asks, trying not to smile at her father the coffee fiend.

"No, they don't even have any decent food either!" I quip, feeling Selmak's annoyance.

I don't know why but she loves that shit they call food! Must make her flippers feel soft or something!

"Well, they probably don't have time to prepare meals with them always being on the run," Dr. Jackson chimes in. "I am curious about what you do eat though?"

I narrow my eyes at him and he steps back and his smile immediately disappears. Good, at least I still have the capability to scare the piss out of people! I was worried having a female symbiote in my head would smooth my rough edges out too much! I like my rough edges!

'Jacob, it's going to take me decades to smooth out your rough edges! You are by far the most stubborn host I have ever had!' Selmak complains but she loves me anyway…I can tell.

Oh yeah, she bitches and moans about me but I know she cares about my well being.

'Pfft! Some one has to keep an eye on you around here!' she chastises me.

I send her the equivalent of a hug.

Anyway, we make our way up to the briefing room. Sam sits to my left. Daniel and Teal'c sat across from us, leaving a seat vacant for Colonel O'Neill I presume. And George sits at the head of the table. Again, I have that tingly feeling in my gut. I never really noticed, but that tingly sensation was always there when I was with the Tok'ra. I only notice it now because it had stopped when I left the Tok'ra.

'Selmak, what the hell are you doing in there?' I finally ask.

'That's the sensation you feel when another symbiote is nearby,' Selmak informs me.

'Oh…hello…who have we here?' I ask myself, like I normally do when a lovely lady walks into a room.

Only this time, I'm not alone in my mind.

'Jacob!'

'Oh, Selmak…live a little! She's a very pretty little lady! Probably full of spunk too! A woman has to be to be an officer in the Air Force with all the testosterone flying around! Besides, it's not like she can read my mind!'

'No! But I can! I sincerely hope that this does not happen every time a beautiful woman walks by!'

'And you're so much better than I? From your memories, I seem to recall you being quite the wild cat!'

'That was decades ago! And I haven't been with anyone since my mate died!'

I laugh to myself…I love ruffling her flippers.

'I wasn't recalling those memories,' I counter. 'I'm talking about when you were much younger, before you met your mate!'

Selmak retreats, grumbling in to herself. Hey! I just think I won an argument!

'Don't let it go to your head Jacob!' she scoffs.

'Poor loser!'

'I can always make you look like an ASS in front of the little lady!' she threatens.

'Do that and we'll never have sex!' I shoot back.

Again, Selmak retreats after giving me a rather rude comment about not wanting all my parts in working order!

Shit! I better quit while I'm ahead!

"Dad, this is Dr. Fraiser," Sam smiles, as I get up to shake the Doctor's hand. "Janet, this is my father, Jacob Carter."

"Don't forget Selmak," I remind Sam as I shake Janet's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."

"Like wise," she smiles politely then takes her seat and I sit back in mine.

Wow, she has a nice smile too and her hands are so delicate!

'I thought you hated Doctors, Jacob,' Selmak reminds me.

'I never had a pretty Doctor like her. If I had, I might have changed my mind about them!'

'Jacob you're incorrigible!'

I laugh at her as Colonel O'Neill finally joins us at the table.

Now, I've had much more time to take in O'Neill than the other members of Sam's team. Dr. Jackson and Teal'c I only had met briefly and wasn't paying much attention to them because I was in way over my head that first trip into the crystal tunnels and was a little frightened because I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself into. Plus, it was utter chaos and we barely had time for introductions.

However, I had met Colonel O'Neill in Washington DC and was able to do a little research on the man. His file didn't say much which told me their cover story really needed a whole lot of polishing! And what I was able to find out were from friends among the high ranks in the Air Force. To no surprise, I find out O'Neill and I have a lot in common.

Basically, we're adrenaline junkies! I love to fly by the seat of my pants! I especially loved the parachute drops under the cover of night for my black ops missions! It seems O'Neill's the same way. Although some of his black ops missions were more dangerous than mine. But times change, weapons become deadlier however getting the job done is always the objective.

A few years into his career he got married and had a kid, just like I did. He has the reputation of being a smart mouth but is as tough as nails. The kind of man anyone would go into the heat of battle with. The kind of man who takes care of his unit and would lay his life on the line for them.

Shit, Jack is too much like me! But that gives me comfort because I know my little girl is in capable hands. And I know I don't need to ask the Colonel to watch out for my baby girl, he will do it regardless.

'Samantha is not a little girl anymore,' Selmak comments.

'Selmak, one thing you must learn is that no matter how old daughters are, they will always be little girls in their fathers' eyes.'

'Jacob, you're a better father than you give yourself credit for,' she tells me.

Again, I am reminded of my wife, she used to tell me the same thing whenever I felt like I had done something wrong with my kids. And again, Selmak helps me to control my thoughts. Some of my memories that are most precious are also the most painful. I'll be glad when I am able to prevent them from cropping up without warning.

'Thanks, Selmak,' I mentally sigh and turn my attention outside my mind.

"Will somebody please explain to me how that…thing could be the kid's mother?" O'Neill asks.

"He said their leaders created him to communicate with us. They must have cloned him or engineered him somehow," Dr. Jackson answers and in a nutshell I understand the man.

Outwardly he looks like a geek. That would have been my first impression of him. He is smart, I'll give him that. But he's not really a geek. He has passion for his work and is the kind of man who would stay up all night trying to unlock the secrets an ancient civilization. I seemed to remember George telling me that Daniel was an archaeologist. However, his strongest asset is that he has compassion for others. The kind of man I wouldn't mind marrying my daughter. Only, Daniel's problem is that he's probably a workaholic like my Sammy!

"Well, all they'd need is some human DNA and it would be possible to construct him in a lab. It would also explain the extra reticular formation in his brain. Could have been genetically engineered to allow him to perceive this Reetou 'mother'," Dr. Fraiser says.

Now, she is definitely one smart lady!

'Jacob, stay focused!' Selmak chides me.

"But how do they do something that advanced, and leave the kid so screwed up?" O'Neill counters.

I should have guess that Jack would have a special place in his heart for kids.

'He lost his son, it only makes sense,' Selmak agrees with me.

"Genetically engineering a human child would be a very precise exercise, Colonel. Changing one set of genes to alter the reticular formation could have numerous addition ramifications," Fraiser explains.

'She's way out of your league, Jacob!' Selmak laughs at me.

'That's what George told me about Allison!' I shoot back.

"Even though we can't see them, these Reetou can definitely see us," Sam says.

"Which puts us at a great strategic disadvantage. I understand why the Goa'uld would want to eliminate them," Teal'c chimes in.

Now from Selmak's memories, my knowledge of the Jaffa shows them to be excellent warriors. The gold symbol on his head tells me Teal'c is Apophis' First Prime. Only his presence here on Earth is a mystery to me. The Jaffa are a Goa'uld's most loyal servants. Even Selmak is stumped about why Teal'c has joined the Tau'ri. I'll have to ask Sam about it later.

"They're Goa'uld, Teal'c. That's their job," Jack says dryly. He really hates the Goa'uld!

"The Reetou are a pretty peaceful race," I tell them. "The Goa'uld wiped most of them out just because they were a possible threat."

"Okay. But how did the Goa'uld wipe them out?" Daniel asks.

"They were able to isolate the emissions that we are sensitive to and develop a device that would expose the creatures," I answer and Selmak excitedly points out that I said 'we'. It was my first time since our blending. I shush her and hold up the TER. "This is a Transphase Eradication Rod. The Tok'ra have managed to rip off several versions of this device. It's also capable of terminating a Reetou."

"Well, do me a favor, will you? Don't terminate this Reetou, I promised the kid," Jack asks me.

"It appears this Reetou came to warn us of an impending rebel attack," George informs me.

"Yeah. The Reetou rebels are, um, kind of like terrorist are here on Earth…nasty guys," I explain, and Selmak is pleasantly surprised that I am able to easily access all the relevant information without her help. "They could do a lot of damager here, folks. Kill a lot of people."

"How many are there?" Jack questions.

"Don't know, but I do know their MO," I continue. "They work in small groups of five suicide infiltrators. They sneak in, they split up, plant destructive devices, and try to maximize the damage before they've even been detected. But they usually attack Goa'uld planets. Any idea why they want to attack here on Earth?"

"Apparently to destroy all possible hosts," Sam tells me.

'Unfucking believable!' I tell myself shaking my head.

"Is it possible that they can get through our iris?" Daniel asks.

"No. Their molecules wouldn't reintegrate any more than yours or mine," I answer and the image of a HUGE ugly bug exploding against a windshield comes to mind making Selmak giggle.

"Can our weapons even touch them?" Sam asks.

"Earth weapons will not be as effective as a TER," I tell her. "But since the Reetou are somewhat affected by solid matter in our phase, your weapons might at least slow them down."

"But essentially, we'd be shooting at…nothing?" Jack points out.

"You bet," I smile. "Pretty tough to shoot at a moving target that you can't see. Even with TERs it's tough. Best weapon is advanced Intel…knowing where they'll come from and how."

"Well, I should talk to Mom. She might know where this rebel staging planet is," Jack says.

"Wait a minute. Say she does give us the address where they're coming from. Isn't it kinda risky to go looking for them? I mean, it's possible we may let more of them through to Earth and not even know it," Daniel says worriedly.

"If we've got TERs, we'll be able to see them," I reply confidently.

"We need some intelligence, Dr. Jackson. It's the only way we'll know what we're up against," George says. "Colonel, find out what you can from this Reetou mother. Dismissed."

I'm instantly on my feet and heading out of the room. Sam hurries to catch up with Dr. Jackson and Teal'c in tow.

"Whatcha ya doing?" she asks with that smirk.

She used to ask me that on those Sunday mornings when I happened to be home. She was very little, not even in school yet at that time. I was usually reading the paper and drinking my coffee in my favorite chair. Asking the question was Sammy's way of asking me to play with her.

I know I come off as a hard ass but there was a time when I used to crawl around on the floor and play with my children. My wife used to chastise me, saying I was more rambunctious than the kids were at times. And she would really get mad at me each time I broke one of her flower vases! Then puberty hit my kids and suddenly it wasn't cool to play with the old man anymore.

'Jacob, now that you're a Tok'ra you're not an old man anymore,' Selmak reminds me.

'I know! At times I do feel like a kid because…well let's face it Selmak, you're older than dirt!'

"I'm going to the commissary," I quickly tell Sam before Selmak starts her squawking. She's very sensitive about her age! "Care to join me? We have time. If George decides to send some of your people through the Stargate, he won't send them for at least of a couple of hours from now."

"Mind if we tag along?" Dr. Jackson asks.

He's eager about something. He probably wants to know about what it's like having Selmak inside my head.

'They are curious, Jacob. And it would be good for them to inform them just how different the Tok'ra are from the Goa'uld,' Selmak suggests. 'Especially coming from a friendly face.'

"Sure, I'll try to answer your questions to the best of my ability," I smile at Dr. Jackson.

His mouth slightly drops open. Youth! They think they know everything and that the old man's senses are dull!

"Actually, Selmak is very curious about why a Jaffa, and a First Prime at that, has left his God and joined the ranks of the Tau'ri," I mention to Teal'c as we pile into the elevator.

"Because the Goa'uld are false Gods and it is my hope that the Jaffa would one day be free of their enslavement," Teal'c solemnly says as Sammy pushes a button on the console.

In that sentence, I understand Teal'c. He may be a man of few words but his heart is abundant in strength for his beliefs. I feel Selmak's surprise at Teal'c's conviction. Every Jaffa she came face to face was always trying to kill her because of their eagerness to please their God. She has never come face to face with a Jaffa who opposes the Goa'uld and shows no fear of them.

Sensing she wishes to speak, I bow my head, letting her fore.

"It is an honor to meet you Teal'c. I sincerely hope you are the first of many Jaffa who will join in the battle against the Goa'uld."

"As do I," Teal'c replies bowing his head in respect.

"Dr. Jackson, I sense there is a question you wish to ask of me?"

"I was just curious about what you think of us," he says as we exit the elevator. "You have blended with a one of us. What's you're impression?"

"My first impression is that you are all impulsive, reckless, stubborn people, who have a lot to learn," she answers honestly. From within my mind I can see Daniel and Sam's shocked faces at Selmak's bluntness. "However, having been blended with Jacob for a month now, I have come to see that you are people whose risk taking leads to advancements within your society be it medical, technological and so on. Your spontaneity makes life interesting and unpredictable and at times gets you in trouble. But it is your resilience that gets you out of trouble and enables you to grow as a people. They are your strengths and your weaknesses. All of which make you a worthy ally against the Goa'uld."

"Wow, you got all that from my Dad?" Sam asks in disbelief.

"Your father is a very intelligent man and is quite knowledgeable about Earth and its people, Samantha. It would be prudent if you actually got to know him better," Selmak suggest at which point I quickly take back control before Selmak embarrasses me any more!

"Sorry, Sam," I say. It's all I could think to say. I'm not very good at talking to my daughter. I tend to have this 'I know what's best for you' attitude when I talk with Sam. Of course it usually results in me alienating her into walking away or getting into an argument with me.

Thankfully we've arrived at the commissary where I quickly walk ahead of them, not know what else to say. So much for trying to be a better father!

'Jacob, it's not going to happen overnight. And I did put you both on the spot. I am sorry, that was not my intention,' Selmak tells me as I grab a tray and start piling on the food.

'It's ok Selmak. Let's face it…I'm a terrible father.'

'I don't believe so. You have raised a beautiful daughter who is intelligent, independent and strong. Allison would have been proud of you.'

Selmak gives me a mental hug. She always seems to know whenever I need one. I'm still learning when to give her one. There are times with her when I feel…awkward and unsure. I attribute it to the fact that her personality is female and I'm male and the two don't always mesh cohesively.

'In time Jacob. The blending of two personalities is complex and can take many months to truly bond.'

'What happens if we don't…truly bond?' I hesitantly ask her, already knowing the answer.

'I am confident that we will Jacob. The Tok'ra will never have reason to separate us,' Selmak says reassuringly. 'Now, let's eat! I'm anxious to taste your military cuisine! It smells much better than the Tok'ra slop!'

I laugh internally at her. I am always pleasantly surprised whenever she uses Earth slang. Wish I could say the same for Selmak when I use Goa'uld slang. I haven't quite gotten the knack of it and usually use a curse word when it is so not appropriate which makes Selmak mentally shake her head at me. The last time being when Selmak was allowed to sit in on a meeting with the High Council. Stupid me had to open my mouth and insult half of them. Whereupon, Selmak hasn't been allowed back to sit on the Council for fear that I can't keep my mouth shut! And still, she defends me when they threaten to take me away from her. You gotta love her for that!

'All right, lady. Let me grab a pot of coffee then we can dig in.'

With the coffeepot in my hand and the tray in the other I finally take my seat with Sam and her friends. Their eyes widen when they see the stacks of food and deserts I have managed to fit on one tray.

"Dad, aren't they feeding you?" Sam asks with a note of concern in her voice from her seat beside me.

"Barely," I quickly reply. "You don't want to know what their idea of food is! And I don't know when I'll be back on Earth again, so I want to get my fill!"

'Ok, Sel, what do you want to try first?' I politely ask with the fork ready in my hand.

'Sel?' she questions.

'It's a nickname…a term of endearment. I used to call Sam Sammy when she was a girl. I can't call you honey because that's what I call my wife. If you don't like it…'

'I like it!' she quickly says. 'No one has ever given me a nickname. I'm honored Jacob.'

'Jake…my closest friends call me Jake. And since you're even closer that my wife ever was, I would like you to call me Jake.'

I am instantly filled with Sel's love and appreciation.

I am going to tell you this, so please don't tell Sel, I don't want to hurt her feelings but believe it or not, this is my first step towards becoming truly symbiotic with my symbiote. While we have been blended for a month now, there are many things I still do on my own. We have not yet learned how to work together as a team. That was mainly because I've been afraid to give complete control to my symbiote. However, I am learning that I don't have to give control, we share in everything. Some things are going to take longer than others to learn do. Other things are going to take much longer to learn!

'So, Sel…what shall we try first?'

'What's the giggly stuff?'

'Jell-O…it's sweet,' I answer immediately scooping a bite and putting it into my mouth.

Selmak giggles at its texture and she is pleasantly surprised. I allow her to control my arm, letting her choose what foods to try. I am surprised at her eagerness. She's like a child in a candy story! Sam and her friends bring me up to date with the current evens as Sel digs into the food.

'Can we have more mashed potatoes and gravy?' she asks me. 'Please!'

Of course, she already had control of my legs and was standing before I had a chance to reply. And I laugh at her as she scoops heaping amounts of mashed potatoes and drowns them with gravy. As I return to my seat, I am greeted with the curious faces of Sam and Daniel. Teal'c himself has a lot of food on his tray and seems unaffected by my ravenous consumption.

"Guys, Selmak controls my metabolism so I don't feel guilty about the large amount of food we're consuming!" I tell them before shoving a large bit of mash into my mouth.

"So, Jacob…how are you assimilating to the Tok'ra way of life?" Dr. Jackson asks with the nerdy grin of his.

"Fine. Selmak bitches and moans about the Council not accepting me yet. Mainly because they won't let him sit back on the council yet!" I tell them.

THWACK!

For those interested, thwack is the sound Sel's flippers make when they hit my brain. One smack for being an ass. Two for being an asshole!

'What did I say?' I ask her, still wincing from the first smack.

THWACK! THWACK!

'HIM!' Selmak screams in my mind, giving me an instant headache!

'I'm sorry, Sel!'

'Don't you Sel me with your sweet talk…JACOB!'

'But I can't tell anyone you're a girly symbiote! I'd be humiliated…the laughing stock of the Air Force! They'd never take us seriously!'

Selmak's quiet and I'm not sure what to do. This must be what she's like when she's super pissed!

"Dad!" Sam shouts getting my attention.

"Sorry…I'm not used to holding two conversations at once!" I quickly answer as I spot the piece of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

'Try this…Sel!' I tell her taking a huge bite.

She's reluctant at first. But by the third bite her jets cool and she's no longer mad at me.

'Wow! That was delicious! I LOVE chocolate! We had better take some of that back with us!' she chirps and I mentally sigh in relief as my headache disappears.

The rest of our meal goes without incident. I answer all of Daniel's questions, being extra careful to not insult Selmak. I don't ever want her to be that angry with me again! I learn of Daniel's quest to find his wife, Shar're. He says that I give him hope because he now knows that the Goa'uld symbiote can be removed from the host. I learn from Teal'c about his mentor, Master Bra'tac, who teaches a few Jaffa that the Goa'uld are false Gods in hopes of spreading the word.

It isn't until I've finished my final dessert plate that Sel asks about the coffee.

'I like to have my coffee after my meal,' I tell her as I pour some coffee into a cup. 'I used to smoke but Allison broke me of that habit basically telling me she wouldn't become my wife unless I quit smoking. So, I started drinking more coffee instead.'

'Smells wonderful!'

'Kind of perks you up, doesn't it,' I snicker to her while half listening to Daniel go on about how he's working on a writing a treaty for the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri to sign.

My mind is more on the coffee. I haven't had a cup in over a month! The hospital staff wouldn't give me any because of the medication I was on. And the Tok'ra don't have anything even remotely close to it! I inhale the aroma deeply and my mouth waters. I can feel Sel's anxiousness to taste it because she always wiggles about at the back of my head when she's anxious.

'Jake…quit teasing and take a fucking drink!' she yells, making me smile.

The hot liquid fills my mouth and my taste buds run amuck! They missed coffee too! I go to swallow then instantly start gagging and choking! The coffee that was inside my mouth sprays all over Daniel while he's in mid sentence!

'Ah…Jacob…that's disgusting! Is this one of your jokes? It tastes like dirt! How can something with such a lovely aroma taste so…VILE? You had better wash your mouth with bleach! That was fucking NASTY!'

'Selmak, it's not that bad. Coffee is an acquired taste,' I desperately explain as Selmak is in control of my body and guzzling down a pitcher of water.

'Well, this symbiote is not acquiring a taste for that shit!'

'Selmak…please…'

I'll admit that I begged and pleaded with her on this one. I actually impressed myself…I didn't think I could grovel that well having been out of practice since my wife's been gone for roughly twenty years now!

'NO!'

"DAD? What the hell happened?" Sam asks…again.

Again, I didn't hear her as I was talking with Selmak. I turn my attention outward to see Daniel cleaning his glasses and wiping his face.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson…it went down the wrong pipe," I tell him then get to my feet. "I'll see you guys later. I need to go talk to George."

I leave before they can say anything to me. Needless to say…I am very disappointed. I thought for sure that Selmak would enjoy coffee as I do. Deciding to pull one of Selmak's moves, I sulk and ignore her. Only it's hard to ignore her completely…she is in my head all the time. I suppose that's one thing I will eventually learn to do. It is something she does extremely well.

'Jake…are you mad at me?' she asks sweetly.

Typical woman! She's acting like she didn't do anything wrong!

I don't respond as I enter the elevator. Instead of heading to George's office, I push the top button. I need some fresh air. I've been cooped up in those damn Tok'ra tunnels for a month. They won't even let me outside! And now this! Its times like this I question the validity of my situation. Was saving my life worth it for this?

'I can't believe you're mad at me over something like this!' she scoffs. 'Ignoring me will accomplish nothing!'

'Whatever!' I snap then go silent the rest of the trip.

It takes me about fifteen minutes to reach to surface. Outside, it's night with a full moon in the sky and I realize I have no idea what time it is on Earth. I don't even have my watch anymore. The Council took all my belongings away and told me to fit in. Not that I had much with me, just my watch and the clothes I was wearing. I wasn't even able to bring a picture of my wife. Shit, they probably would have taken that away from me too!

'They wouldn't do that,' Selmak says softly, sensing I'm still in a foul mood.

'Do what?' I grumble.

'I would never let them take something so precious from you like a picture of your wife. I know how deeply you loved her and that you still love her.'

I sigh staring at the wedding band on my finger. I've never taken it off since Allison placed it on my finger during our wedding day. And I swore I never would. Martouf once suggested to me to remove it my second day amongst the Tok'ra. I told him to fuck off and that they would have to cut off my finger first. Selmak apologized for me, like she had done on so many other occasions.

Maybe the Council is right. I don't fit in. I am reckless, impulsive and stubborn. All characteristics that you don't find in any of the other Tok'ra. And I know Selmak can do better than me as a host. I'm not exactly a spring chicken…too much mileage on this body.

My mind and body is suddenly filled with warmth and kindness. One thing about this emotional bond with Selmak is we don't always have to say words to each other to express our feelings. We can simply project what our feelings are to one another.

'Jake, do not listen to the Council. They say the things they do because they are afraid of you. You are nothing like they have ever experienced before. But you have also breathed new life into our cause. Your outbursts during some of our discussions with the Council members have made a few of them rethink their strategies. Do not give up now, not when you and I can make a difference.'

'Can we…make a difference?'

'I am certain, we can. Just don't change the way that you are.'

'I've already changed Selmak. I'm not the same man I was a month ago.'

'No, you're better. But it is something you did on your own. Through our blending you have learned to let go of some of your fears and improve yourself. You are eager to be a better father to Samantha, where before you were simply satisfied with just being there on the rare occasion. You have even taken the first steps in forgiving yourself for Allison's death. Why do you think you haven't spoken to your son for so long? A part of you clings to the belief that Mark was right, that you killed Allison.'

'But I was late…I was supposed to pick her up.'

'It was an accident. You told Sam yourself that you couldn't have known it was going to happen.'

'It still hurts like hell that Allison's gone,' I weep, feeling the sting of my tears.

'That's because your love for her is still strong, even all these years later. And blending with me will not diminish that love nor will I take it away from you. You have been afraid from the very beginning that you will lose yourself because of our blending. Today, for the first time since we blended, I sensed that you were letting go of that fear.'

"Dad?"

I turn to see Sam standing beside me.

"Is everything alright?" she asks, her eyes full of concern.

"This blending thing isn't as easy as the Tok'ra make it out," I admit, quickly wiping my tears away. "At times, it can be a real pain in the neck!"

"Do…do you want to be alone?"

"God, you look so much like your mother," I smile to her, pushing her hair back. "She would have been so proud of you."

Sam turns her face away. Something she always did to hide her tears. On such occasions I allowed her the dignity and left her alone. But that was the old me.

It felt so good to hold my little girl in my arms again. And for the longest moment, we simply held each other without saying a word. Pulling away, we both laugh because we were both crying.

"I love you Sam. I don't want you to ever doubt that," I tell her as I notice that tingle in my gut again. Only this time it's not as strong and I don't see Teal'c anywhere.

'Selmak…what's going on here?'

Selmak sighs, 'I have not told you yet. You were not ready.'

'Ready for what?'

'Jacob, the Tau'ri discovered the Tok'ra from Jolinar.'

'Yes, I know that. Jolinar was Martouf's mate.'

'Jolinar had disappeared during a mission, we feared she had perished or was captured. Apparently, she was being hunted down by an Ash'rak. Now, when we are desperate, a symbiote can jump from one body to another to hide.'

'I thought Jolinar was killed by the Ash'rak.'

'She was seriously injured and her host was near death because of her injuries. Both would have eventually died. However, Jolinar sacrificed herself…so…so that Samantha could live.'

I gasp…literally. I had no idea! My baby girl! What she must have gone through! What she still must be going through! It was daunting enough with what little preparation I had! For Sam…having no preparation at all…my poor baby!

"Dad, what is it?"

"I asked Selmak why I get this tingly feeling in my gut whenever you're around…" I start to say and immediately see the recognition in Sam's face. "I guess you get it too."

Sam simply nods and bits her lower lip. A nervous habit she picked up from her mother.

"If you ever need to talk…I'll be there for you," I tell her, wrapping my arms around her tightly. "Just say the words and I'll be there, I promise."

"Thanks Dad," she sniffles into my chest. "That means a lot to me."

"I hope that means you will reciprocate the offer!" I say, making her laugh.

"Sure, Dad," she smiles at me. "I'm here whenever you need to talk."

"Good. Now, why don't we get back inside? I'm sure George is ready to send the troops out," I say, taking her arm in mine as we head back.

"They're assembling in the Gate Room right now. I was sent to find you, since you ditched your escort a while back."

"Selmak and I told the Council that we didn't need a babysitter!"

"I'm sure they're just being cautious."

"Hell no! I think the Council is afraid I'm going to corrupt Selmak!"

'Too late, Jake!' Selmak chimes in after being quiet and allowing me to have a private moment with my daughter. 'I've been corrupted and there's no turning back!'

I laugh out loud and my daughter gives me a look.

"Selmak's says it's too late!" I tell Sam, making her laugh with me.

On the way down, my daughter and I actually have a conversation that didn't end in an argument! It was one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life. So of course, I'm grinning from ear to ear as I head into George's office and he immediately starts looking around to room waiting for the gag to hit him.

"All right, Jake. Where is it?" he seriously asks.

"George, not everything's a gag."

George blinks a couple of times before asking, "Is that Selmak talking or you?"

"It's me, George. I'm just happy because my daughter and I had an honest to God real conversation! And neither of us got pissed with each other!"

"This blending thing seems to have worked out for you," George smiles.

"It has its perks. Some of which I'm still learning."

George's phone rings and he answers it.

"Thank you Sergeant," he says then hangs up the phone. "The teams are assembled in the Gate Room, shall we?"

"By all means," I grin then follow George down to the Gate Room.

'Jake, do your people always send this many soldiers through the Gate at one time?' she questions.

'I don't know. I'm unfamiliar with SGC protocol,' I tell her then turn to George. "This is a bit of overkill, George. I told you, these rebels work in five-man squads. There'll only be five, maybe ten of them there."

"I don't want to take any chances, Jacob," he tells me, so I don't question him again and allow him to do his duty.

'George tends to be cautious, Sel. He always did worry too much when we were younger.'

'Back when you both had hair!' she giggles.

'Sel, that's not a nice thing to say!'

'Sorry, Jake! This is the first action I've seen in decades! I'm a little excited! I tend to get mouthy when I'm excited!'

'Running from Anise wasn't enough action for you?'

'You know what I mean!'

Yes, I do. I used to get the same adrenaline rush before going on a mission too. To pacify her, I relinquish control to her. Content to simply go along for the ride.

"All right! Here we go kids. Move out!" Colonel O'Neill orders.

Sel goes into combat mode as we run up the ramp. It's very interesting how all my senses are heightened now that I'm blended. My hearing is better, I can see clearer! The commissary food even tasted better! I wonder if my extra sensitive taste buds have anything to do with why Sel doesn't like coffee?

"Looks clear," she informs O'Neill.

"Clear! Let's go do some snooping around, what do you say?" O'Neill says then issues orders, "You stay with SG-12. Watch our six. Back sides."

Sel and I know our place is with SG-1 so we proceed with them. Suddenly I feel Selmak trembling as she struggles to keep our body upright. There must be too many Reetou because we drop to a knee.

"Colonel! The Reetou are present in that direction," she dutifully informs him.

"How many?"

"I don't know."

Sucking it up, we move along with the others up a small embankment and peer over the rim.

'Fucking shit!' she exclaims to me!

The only reason I'm not laughing is because there are hordes of Reetou in the valley below! Although, I'm impressed at Sel's choice of words…they are quite appropriate!

We quickly high tail it out of there before any Reetou discover us. Upon arriving back at the SGC, I order my escort to do sweep of the Gate Room. We can't let those ugly fuckers on Earth! Only once it was done to Sel's satisfaction do I join the others in the Briefing room.

"So you would say threat assessment is high?" George questions after I take my seat.

"Oh, yeah," O'Neill exclaims.

"There were a lot of them, Sir," Sam says. A lot being an understatement!

"They are indeed invisible," Teal'c adds.

"You're sure none of them came through with you?" George asks me.

"Can't be sure," I answer honestly. "But I don't think so. Selmak's tremors stopped a few seconds after we got through the Gate, and my guard did a TER sweep of the room."

"Course, it would only take one of to open the iris. Correct?" Jack asks.

"Well, we could put palm scanners into the iris control system to prevent that. I mean, I assume they don't have palms," Sam suggests.

I shake my head slightly. It's scary to think my child is that brilliant!

"Take who you need and do it now, Captain," George orders Sam.

"Yes, Sir!"

After Sam leaves. Sel and I tag along with George and Colonel O'Neill to go see the boy. Who I have learned they are calling Charlie. From Jack's record, I know that Charlie was the name of his son. From what I can tell, this whole situation has really affected the man. And the sight of the kid's deteriorating health isn't helping matters.

I immediately walk over to Dr. Fraiser. Yes, I am pleasantly surprise to see her but there are more urgent matters that need tending too.

"Can we see his chart?" I ask her nicely only she gives me this dirty look like she wants to stab my ass with a needle! So I smile, "Selmak is curious about the boy's condition."

"Can the Tok'ra help?" Janet anxiously asks, handing us the chart.

"Tok'ra medical treatments are more advanced than Earth's but they've never dealt with anything like this before," I answer honestly as we continue looking over his chart.

'I don't know Jake…a sarcophagus or a symbiote may be the only way to save the boy,' Sel sadly tells me.

'Let's not tell them that unless it's absolutely necessary.'

'Agreed.'

"General?"

"Jacob, I'm not a General anymore," I tell Janet then speak in a more hushed tone to her. "His condition is too far advanced for a hand healing device. Our first option would be to place him in a sarcophagus, only the Tok'ra don't keep those lying around. Which leaves only one other option…"

"And?"

I sigh. I am acutely aware of how the people of the SGC view a symbiote so I'm reluctant to tell her.

"Jacob, tell me…if there is anyway to help the boy…I would like to know," Janet insists.

"A symbiote," I simply tell her as the phone rings. I see the background that Jack goes to answer it. "Janet, if there were any other way, Selmak and I would tell you."

"Thank you Jacob and Selmak too," she smiles.

"Jacob!" Jack calls to me as the alarms sound interrupting my conversation with Janet. If we had kept going, I think I would have asked her out to dinner! "Seems we didn't come back alone!"

I hand Janet the chart back, ready my TER and head out into the corridor with George and Jack. We barely make it around a turn and I double over from Sel's tremors!

"You all right?" Jack asks.

'Do we fucking look all right?' Sel screams in my mind.

"Reetou!" I tell Jack, handing him my TER.

We're suddenly shoved aside and a desk explodes behind us. A moment later, Sel's trembling stops and she tends to my queasy stomach immediately.

"Damn it!" O'Neill curses.

"Anyone get a count?" George asks.

"We had four here, plus that one in the control room."

"Yeah, it's one of their terrorist teams," I quickly add. "They didn't wanna be seen until their destruction had already started."

"So what will they do?" Jack asks.

"Some of them will try to get out of the base and start making a mess of things."

"How?"

"They have cross-phasal explosives, each on as powerful as a small nuke," I inform them. "I hate to tell you this, but those four Reetou rebels could level a couple of cities and take a lot of people with 'em."

"Sweet," O'Neill breathes.

'There's nothing sweet about this situation, Jake!' Sel tells me.

'It's an expression that's all. Not all of us have dirty mouths!'

"George, we need to trap them on this floor then do a TER sweep to eliminate them," I quickly tell George.

'Good thinking, Jake!' Sel cheers.

Ok, I have to say this…the Tok'ra are not military geniuses. They are infiltrators. They blend in…so to speak. Sabotage is their best weapon. And they are too willing to leave one of their own behind for the collective good! Which was the reason for my outburst at the Council…I was appalled that they would even think that way! And while Sel had apologized for my outburst, she had secretly agreed with me. She was tired of seeing so many of her friends die needlessly.

"Right, I'll be in the Control Room," George says.

"Jacob, you're with me," Jack tells me.

"You know Jack, you can't forget about Selmak!" I quip as we follow him down the corridor. I quickly apologize to Sel for what I'm about to say. "He's a part of me now!"

"Fine, whatever!" he growls at me.

'I wonder what happened to make him hate the Goa'uld so much?' Sel asks me.

'I'll ask Sam. I don't think Jack would tell us.'

'Agreed!' she replies as we make it to the Armory.

In a matter of minutes, three teams are assembled and deployed. Sel's on high alert in my head and I'm thinking this is kind of cool because I'm hunting Reetou with my daughter! I've never seen her in action before. However, I do know she has a reputation as being a tough soldier like her old man! Of course, she's a lot smarter than I ever was because she's only been seriously injured a couple of times! By the time I was her age, I had been shot half a dozen times, broken a few too bones, and nearly knocked the top of my head off which did leave a lovely scar on my forehead!

"This section is clear," I tell Sam whereupon she immediately orders the blast doors closed behind us.

At the end of the short hallway we come to a junction. There I slowly peek around the corner.

'Oh shit!' Selmak shouts in my head as I shout, "Reetou!"

The blast harmlessly passes us by hitting the far wall. We quickly proceed after the ugly fucker.

"We should be able to trap it in section C-8," Sam quietly tells me. "The only way out of that section is the elevators which have been shut down."

"Let's hurry then. The quicker we take care of these bugs the better," I tell her.

"Bugs?"

"That's what they look like to me…big, ugly bugs," I smirk as we hurry through the doors then take cover in a little niche.

Sam orders the blasts doors to shut. Then suddenly I'm not in control of my body!

'Selmak! What the hell are you doing?' I ask as she moves my body from our protective niche into the middle of the fucking doorway with the TER ready to fire.

'I'm trying to be macho…isn't that what men do?'

'You just put us in the line of fire!' I roar then see the Reetou fire. 'MOVE OUR ASSES!'

Only Selmak doesn't move, she freezes. And I am unable to gain control quickly enough to move us!

'OW, my fucking arm! I can't feel my fucking arm!' I scream at Selmak.

'I'm sorry Jacob!' she replies hastily.

"Dad!" Sam calls to me as a quickly move for cover.

'Dammit, Selmak, you have a lot to learn about military tactics! Quit thinking like a woman! You don't have those two assets on your chest anymore to use to your advantage! I thought we were supposed to be a team!'

'I'm sorry, Jacob! I was just…'

"You ok?" Sam asks as I sit up, leaning against the wall looking at my shoulder.

'No, I'm not fucking ok! My shoulder's cooking! Look…it's smoldering! It hurts like a mother fucker too!' I say to myself, to my daughter, "Not really!"

'This is fucking brilliant! Way to go Selmak!' I yell at her then growl to Sam, sliding the weapon over to her. "Get the damn thing!"

Selmak quickly dampens my sensations and the pain recedes while she apologizes to me. My anger dissipates because I realize Sel was just trying to help!

"Selmak can take care of me," I tell Sam who is rather reluctant to leave me wounded.

'Sel, Sam won't leave me!'

"GO!" Sel orders Sam.

Sam does as she's told and I finally take a good look at my burnt shoulder.

'Is it going to scar?' I ask, feeling Sel working her little symbiote magic.

'No, Jacob. However, I am afraid that we just gave the Council a good reason to not let us go unattended on any missions.'

'Maybe they will,' I reply full of hope. 'We did get our escort killed. Maybe they'll think twice about sending someone with us next time.'

'Or they won't send us anywhere at all!' she counters as I hear a Reetou blast followed by a TER.

I take a peek to see Sam pulling out a grenade from her vest pocket. My kid…she knows all the angels! Gets it from me…I taught her how to play pool! I can still run the table at my age!

Sam makes quick work at dispatching the Reetou before returning to my side.

"How you doing, Dad?" she asks taking a look at my shoulder.

"Selmak's got it under control," I smile, getting to my feet. "I don't even feel any pain anymore. Go on ahead. We're fine."

"You sure?"

"Go on kid!" I tell her, giving her a nudge.

Confident that the area is secure, I waltz down the corridor at a leisurely pace, giving Selmak the chance to heal my shoulder. I'm actually supposed to be sitting still or lying down but I was never one for listening to the Doctor's orders.

'I bet you would listen to Janet's orders,' Sel snickers.

'Maybe,' I reply. 'I am going to have to get to know that woman a little better!'

'Jake, you are…'

'Incorrigible, I know,' I mentally sigh.

'We'll have to come back and visit, perhaps then,' Sel informs me. 'We should have check in with the Council hours ago. I'm sure they're anxious for us to get back.'

'I know,' I reply, hearing Colonel O'Neill's distressed voice coming from the boy's room. 'Doesn't sound good.'

'The boy is near death. There is nothing your people can do to save him.'

"Colonel, I'm sorry, but I don't think so!" Janet says adamantly.

I know if Janet had the means, she would save the boy. She's that kind of Doctor. Always putting the patient's needs before her own. She's full of passion for her work and her life. Yep, I'm definitely going to have to get to know her better!

"Let us take him," Sel chimes without hesitation as we enter the room. "He will be in good hands."

"Can the Tok'ra help him?" Jack asks.

"Yes."

"Excuse me, isn't he a little young to be a host?" Daniel questions.

"He is young, but the Tok'ra symbiote that we introduce to his mind can teach him. He will grow up with the advantages that great wisdom brings," Selmak answers and I know she speaks the truth. The Tok'ra have implanted symbiotes into children before is such cases as this only.

"Two key words there…'grow up'," Jack comments.

"The Tok'ra are probably the only way that'll happen, Sir," Janet adds.

"Do it," Jack says.

Sel and I withdraw to allow Dr. Fraiser and her staff to do their duties. We immediately head to the Control Room where George has been monitoring the situation.

"Thanks for your help, Jacob," he smiles shaking my hand.

"Selmak and I were glad to lend a hand…or two. Perhaps, next time you and I go have a drink, my treat! We can both get shit faced and Selmak could be the designated driver!"

George simply shakes his head at me. Did I tell you we go WAY back? There were numerous occasions when the two of us came staggering back to whatever Air Force base we were assigned. The trick was not to get caught by the MPs! And let me tell you…we never got caught! Had a few close calls but like I said before…that's another story.

"Seriously, George. I want my escort's body cremated. No scientific study whatsoever!"

"Ok, Jacob. You have my word."

"I was also wondering if you can do me a favor. Some of my personal belongings…"

"I'll have them brought to the base before your next visit, Jacob," he smiles. George knows me too well sometimes. I watch as he pulls something out of his back pocket and hands it to me. He knows me all too well!

"Thanks, George," I sigh clutching the photograph of my wife with Mark and Sam when they were little kids. "This is the one I used to carry in the pocket of my uniform whenever I went out on missions."

"I know, Jacob. I figured you might need it while you're out there for this mission. Are we sending you to the coordinates used earlier?"

"Yes," I answer, keeping my eyes on the picture.

'I am still truly amazed that you were able to create two lovely children, Jake,' Sel says, goggling over the picture with me.

'I did have a lot of help…they had a beautiful mother,' I sigh to her.

'Yes, they did,' she agrees.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm standing in the Gate Room. TERS in my hands and the picture is tucked away in a secret pocket of my Tok'ra uniform. Both Sel and I are feeling a little deflated now that our mission here is over. But we did follow one very important rule whenever going out on a mission…we're alive.

Of course, my true home will always be Earth but I know that Sel and I can make a temporary home for ourselves wherever we go. We will always have each other to keep company. I'm sure we'll have some rip roaring, headache inducing arguments. I am also sure we will have some wonderful times together. Maybe we'll even find a nice woman and have sex. Who knows anything's possible out there in the universe!

"Do you know when you'll visit again?" Sam asks as the rest of her team and George arrives.

"We're not sure. We hope it's soon," I smile then hand her the TERs. "Keep the TERS. We'll get you more as soon as they become available."

'Ah, Jake…you're supposed to get permission from the Council before passing out our weapons,' Sel dutifully informs.

'The Council can kiss our collective asses!' I tell her making her laugh as we turn to see Dr. Fraiser entering the Gate Room with Charlie.

'Janet does have nice legs,' Sel suddenly comments.

'Sel!'

'What? I was just reading your thoughts and happen to agree with you!'

'And you say I'm incorrigible! You are down right wicked!' I tell her, watching Jack wiping the boy's tears away then I turn serious. 'Will the boy be all right?'

'Yes, Jake. He will be in capable hands. I believe Malek would be best suited to tending to the child's needs.'

'Haven't met him yet. From your memories, his host, Jared, was about Charlie's age when Malek blended with him.'

'Correct, which is why Malek will be chosen to watch over the implantation and help raise the boy.'

With that said, I let Sel take control of my body, sensing she wishes to convey a very important message.

"I warn you, the Reetou are guileful creatures. And you are at the disadvantage of not being able to sense them, as my Jaffa friend and I can," she tells them

"Well, we've installed the hand scanner, so they can't open the iris at least," Sammy comments and Selmak nods before moving to Teal'c.

"You are only one, Teal'c. Please be diligent. They will not give up. They will attempt to send more infiltrators."

When I am back in control, the Gate is active which means it's time to go.

"George," I say, shaking his hand.

Moving to my daughter, I kiss her goodbye on the cheek

"Bye, Dad," she smiles.

"You take care," I say, giving her a look meaning that if she needs me don't hesitate to call.

"You too," she replies with a wink, making me smile.

Smiling down at Charlie I offer him my hand. He is frightened and reluctant. Only after a gesture from Jack does the boy come to me. Once we're through to the other side, I discover the boy is very weak. Without hesitation, I pick him up, as if he were one of my own kids and walk to the dialing device. I quickly explain that the Tok'ra base is top-secret and I cannot allow it to be discovered. We Gate to two other planets before reaching the Tok'ra base that I am assigned to.

Martouf, Garsaw and two guards immediately greet me after we ring down to the tunnels. None of them look happy to see me!

'You know Sel, we are supposed to be the oldest and wisest. It's time they start treating us that way!'

'Wow! Jake…I don't know what to say!'

'You don't have to say anything, Sel…I'll do all the talking!'

"Have this boy taken to Malek. His name is Charlie and he is in desperate need of a symbiote," I order and hand the boy to one of the guards. "Go, now!"

The guard is unsure but I give him my best General's glare and he immediately does as I tell him. Nice to know, I can scare the piss out of a Tok'ra with that glare! Then I turn to Garshaw and Martouf…still glaring mind you.

"Before you lecture us…our escort was killed in battle against the Reetou. My best friend General Hammond is having his body cremated, as is our burial custom. We gave the Tau'ri the TERs because they have no other means to see the Reetou and need to defend themselves against another possible invasion. And finally, Selmak and I will no longer tolerate being treated like children! We are one of the oldest and wisest members of the Tok'ra High Council and expect to be treated as such!"

I pause to see relish their shocked faces and to hear Sel's giggling. She's enjoying every moment of this!

"Now, it has been a very long day for us. Selmak and I are heading to the Baths before turning in for the night. We will be rejoining the High Council in the morning. There we will deliver our report on the Reetou incident. If the other members don't like it, they can kiss our collective ass because we don't care! Selmak and I have a job to do here and no one is going to stop us!"

'Sel, do you have anything to add?' I ask her while Garshaw and Martouf are still standing with their mouths gaped open. I sense she does and allow her to the fore.

"Also, as a member of the High Council, I am ordering Anise to be transferred to another base. We will not tolerate her antics any longer! I don't give a rat's ass where you send her just get her out of here! Now, excuse us, there is a hot bath and a tall drink with our names on it!"

On the inside, Sel and I are laughing our asses off as we strut down the tunnel.

'Did you see their faces? They were not expecting that from you, Jake!' she laughes.

'From us, Sel…from us! Now what was that about a tall drink?' I anxiously ask.

'I think it's time I introduce you to our own brew of special ale. It'll put hair on your chest!'

'I've already got hair on my chest. I do miss it on my head though!' I tell her making her laugh at me. 'Hey, my hair is no laughing matter and it's now your hair too!'

Sel's laughter dies down…barely. She loves teasing me and I love teasing her. So we both tolerate the abuse!

Within minutes, Sel and I are relaxing in the hot bath and getting shit faced on the Tok'ra special ale. Which is a fancy term for 'moonshine'. Only this stuff is ten times more potent than anything on Earth is!

'Sel, can symbiotes get drunk?'

'Yes, Jake, we can! Only I can take care of our hang over in the morning.'

'Ah…the perks of being a Tok'ra,' I tell her as we take a long drink polishing off the glass. I quickly poor another then hold it up to make a toast. 'Here's to being a stubborn pain in the ass, to speaking our minds, and to a long and lasting friendship with you, Sel.'

'I also look forward to being a pain your neck too, Jake. And I am greatly looking forward to the decades we will be sharing together.'

'Sel…you forgot something?'

'What?' she asks in a panic.

'You forgot about a little three letter word,' I whispered to her.

'Oh…we will most certainly be looking forward to that!' she merrily cheers as we drain the glass again.

An hour later, we stagger to our quarters and fall onto our bed. Sel starts snoring softly within my mind and I start laughing at her because I know exactly what she's doing.

'Does my snoring keep you awake?' I ask jokingly.

'No, Jake…it actually tickles me!' she replies honestly. 'Besides, I can make it so you don't snore…when I choose.'

'Good, I wouldn't want my symbiote to miss out on her beauty sleep.'

'You're such a gentleman…when you want to be,' she snickers.

'Good night, Sel.'

'Good night, Jake. Sweet dreams.'

Within moments I sense Sel is asleep. No, she doesn't really snore. Symbiotes don't actually do much except cling onto a brainstem. Everything they experience is through the host. And it's my job has Sel's host to make sure she's well taken care of. It took me a month to realize that!

You know…I had been so worried that who I was would be lost through the blending. I'm man enough to admit that I was such an idiot! And Sel, being the wise symbiote that she is, knew that I had to figure things out for myself. You have to lover her for that. I know I do. She's like the big sister I never knew I needed. Or little sister if you take into consideration that she's only about twenty inches in length!

I suddenly feel a wiggle at the back of my head. Apparently, Sel was just shamming me into believing that she was actually sleeping! And through our bond I can tell she's incensed!

'TWENTY INCHES?' she squawks. 'I'm twenty four inches!'

See, I told you she's sensitive!

'Really, Sel, from my perspective, how can I tell? I've never actually seen you!' I retort.

'You'll just have to believe me,' she insists, no longer indigent. 'Now go to sleep…brother!'

'Yes, Ma'am!' I mentally salute her, making her laugh.

This time I fall asleep before her, basking in her love and appreciation. Or it could have been the alcohol in our system. To be honest, we had so much to drink I doubt either of us could tell the difference! But we do fall asleep knowing there is a deep caring and respect for each other. And that's enough to put a smile on our face.