Disclaimer: See chapter eight.

A/N: I'm back! Had to take a while off for school…apparently my mom wasn't all that keen on me staying up late to update…wonder why…Anyways, I've returned, and here's chapter nine. Oh, and remember, Lauren studies "ancient music," so that's why she has the CD player and the more recent music…just put that in so you wouldn't get confused. Also, this chapter is rather depressing, but it had to be done.

Chapter Nine: Remembrances

"Come in," Lauren said, quickly drying her eyes as she turned to greet her visitor. She was hoping that Wesley wouldn't notice that she had been crying, but luck was not on her side.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting beside her and putting his arms around her to offer some comfort.

"Just some work for my classes that I was catching up on," Lauren said, pointing to the CD player that was sitting on her bed. "Some of the old music…it's rather sad. Reminds me of things I'd like to forget."

"Like your father?"

Lauren stiffened immediately. She hadn't told Wesley about her father's death, and she didn't think her sister had. "So how does he know?" she asked herself.

"Your mom told us when she first contacted the ship," Wesley said, answering the question she hadn't even asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask," Lauren said, pulling away from him and walking to the window. "Besides, we were busy with other things…"

"You could've told me, you know. It's not like I wouldn't understand."

"I know. You were the one person that I could have told, the one person who would understand, and I didn't. I don't know why I didn't tell you, but I didn't. I can't explain it, but it felt like I couldn't, despite everything."

"You felt like you couldn't trust me," Wesley said. "Is that it?"

"I don't know why I thought it!" Lauren said, beginning to cry again. "I don't know why I didn't think I could trust you, and by the time I felt I could, it was too late! We were leaving, and I didn't think I'd see you again! How was I supposed to know…" She stopped for a moment to collect herself, and then continued. "How was I supposed to know we'd end up together again? I didn't know about the danger until Mom contacted the Enterprise. I've been in the dark about all of this as much as you have, maybe even more so." She pushed the CD player off of her bed-letting the instrument crash on the floor-and sank down onto her bed, breaking down completely.

Wesley was stunned. He had thought that Lauren knew the circumstances of her father's death. He wondered how long it had been, and how long Lauren had carried the anguish inside of her. He slowly walked over to her bed and sat down next to her. Lauren laid her head on Wesley's shoulder and continued crying. He put his arms around her again, this time holding her until she stopped crying.

"I know you probably don't want to answer this," he started slowly. "And believe me, you don't have to if you don't want to…"

"It's OK," Lauren said, sitting up and drying her eyes a second time. "I should've told you this earlier. It was a couple of years ago, about 8 or 9 months after Audra was born. Dad was away on a business trip, and Willa and I were at home watching Audra so Mom could get some rest. Around lunchtime, I was carrying Audra into the living room so she could eat in the sunlight, when I got this blinding headache. I fell into the wall, and I would've dropped Audra if Willa hadn't grabbed a hold of me when I fell. I felt that something wasn't right, because I never got headaches like that before.

A few hours went by, and when Mom woke up, we told her about the headache. She was about to say something when there was a knock on the front door. Mom handed Audra to Willa, and went to answer the door. I knew then that something was wrong, because Mom didn't come back into the kitchen right away. So Willa and I snuck into the living room to hear some of the conversation. We hid, so Mom wouldn't know we were there. We saw Dad's boss standing in the doorway, and he had this look on his face…Mom was crying really hard…we already had a pretty good idea of what had happened, so Willa and I went back into the kitchen and sat at the table.

A few minutes later, my mom came in and told us that there had been an accident. That's all I remember of my mom talking, because according to Willa, I passed out. When I came to, I was in my room, and the curtains were closed. My cousin Alex was sitting next to my bed, and he had been crying. I knew then that my father was dead, and I guess I passed out again, because I don't really remember anything after that."

"And you were alone?"

"Dora and Drew came to the funeral, and my cousins did too, of course. But yes, I was basically alone. There were some nights that I'd look out the window and imagine that I saw that stupid stepladder that we used leaning against my window sill, but then I'd remember…it was so hard, knowing that the one person I could've talked to wasn't there." Lauren leaned in closer to Wesley and rested her head on his shoulder. "I missed you the most then, because I knew that if we were back on Earth, you would've been there before anyone."

"If I had known, I would've been there," Wesley said, holding Lauren close to him. "You wouldn't have been alone."

"I thought of writing to your mom and letting her know, but I didn't. I guess I didn't think you would show up," Lauren said. "Stupid me. I know you better than that."

"You do know me better than that. It wouldn't have mattered how angry I was, or how upset I still was, I would have been there. You were there for me when my dad died, and I swear that if I had known, I would have been there for you."

"I know," Lauren said. "And believe me, it helps knowing that."

"You remembered the stepladder?" Wesley said after a moment's pause.

Lauren laughed. "Wesley, that was the mother of all delayed reactions," she said. "But yes, I did. I made so much noise that night, clumsy nine-year-old that I was."

"You would've made more noise if you had tried to come through the front door. It was after midnight, and you had those god-awful squeaky shoes…"

"I HATED those shoes…" Lauren said. "And they squeaked on the ladder too. But I made it, all the way up to the top."

"You were the last person I expected to see that night, but I saw you, outside the window, hanging on to the ladder with one hand and knocking on the window pane with the other. You stayed up half the night, just sitting with me."

"It was the only thing I could do," Lauren said. "I just wish I could have done more."

"Me too," Wesley said. "Me too."

A/N 2: To my reviewers…

Star Trek Freak- Yeah, I like him too. Got a bit tired of him always getting the short end of the stick in the romance department, though…although I have a feeling that both our stories might have a happy ending for him. I've already got a semi-idea for a sequel, but that won't be happening for a while. Keep reading and reviewing! If you update, I'll update! It's a win-win situation!

It's me, get over it- I know! What'd Wesley ever do to them? All those stories are getting a teensy bit old…however, that 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' parody that someone posted up here about him was pretty darn amusing…I'll keep up with the updating as best as I can. School's getting to be even more of a pain than normal, and my vacation's almost up. I'll try my best to update, if you try your best to review! It's another win-win situation!