Chapter 37 - Vinnie?
"What'dya wanna talk about first Vinnie?" Kat asked.
"You gonna call me Vinnie all night?" Vince sighed.
"Depends, does anyone else call you Vinnie?"
"Hell no. That's not my name."
"What is your name then? Vincent?"
"No, it's Vince. Or V to my friends. You can call me V."
"What's it say on your birth certificate?"
"What's it say on yours?" He snapped back.
"I asked you first Vinnie."
"It says Vincent Joseph. I'm Vince though."
"I think after what we did tonight I should get to have a name for you that no one else has, therefore you are Vinnie to me."
"Ok then, I'ma call you Kitty."
"Sounds fine to me. People use to call me Kitty Kat all the time, still do sometimes." She agreed. Kitty, kitten, it was all the same. Vince growled. She was supposed to hate it as much as he hated Vinnie.
"So what's your name on your birth certificate?" Vince asked again.
"Katharine Leone." She answered him finally. She wasn't telling him the whole story. No one knew and she wasn't telling Vince.
"No shit? Your middle name is Leone?"
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"No, how do you spell that?" He asked. She told him. "Your middle name is Leon with an e on the end?"
"Yes." She sighed, exasperated. She'd figured out the irony of the fact she almost had the same name as the guy she liked long ago. Vince continued on with a laugh.
"There, that wasn't so hard was it? So what do I wanna talk about huh?"
"Yep, you go first. Decide what we're gonna talk about first."
"I wanna know why you did what you did. I heard some stories but I wanna know why right from you."
"Why aren't you pissed at me for that anyway? He's your friend." Kat had to know before she told the story.
"I was pissed as hell till I saw you cryin' your heart out in your back yard. Then it sorta occurred to me that you pretty much didn't have a choice in the matter. Now tell the story."
"It's a long story Vinnie. 4 years of history led up to that point."
"We got all night it seems kitten so humor me."
"Ok, here it goes." And with that she launched into the tale in more detail then anyone knew. Even Leon after their night of asking each other personal questions. She told Vince all about how her brother had gone to sell her to someone, how she'd burned the house down, or so she assumed, how she stolen their stolen car and driven it across the country with no license, scared out of her mind the whole way, traveling only at night to try not to get caught. Staying all alone at barely 15 in shady motels that she only got with the use of her fake id. Ending up in south central and getting picked up by the guys. Being just as big of a gang banger as the guys. Being into drugs and liquor from the age of 15. She'd done it all. But sleep around. But she didn't tell Vince that. She wasn't ready to share the lack of sexual experience she had with anyone. She knew he'd just assume she'd gotten around like most people did when they heard how she use to live.
She told him about how one of the guys on the gang had been killed by a rival gang and how they realized then how likely it was one of them would get killed by gang violence. But how it had been the time a rival had come after Stacy specifically and almost gotten him killed that had really made them decide they had to leave. How they did ok without the gang at first, when Kat was racing and winning. But then someone again off a rival gang had tried to kill her by running her off the road into a phone pole. How times had gotten hard while she couldn't race. She told him about how she thought she'd never race again because of her fear and because they'd had no idea how to get money to fix the car. She told Vince everything about how they'd been living, in a one room apartment with no food, heat, lights, way to cook even if they had food. No hot water and how the bugs had outnumbered them 10 to 1. She told him how they'd decided to get some money by robbing a pizza boy because they couldn't hold up the corner stores.
She laughed despite herself when she told him she'd checked out Leon's ass even on that night. How she'd felt bad even then and so had Sean, or at least Sean knew it had been ridiculous. How she'd thought about the pizza boy all the time, wished she could tell him she was sorry. Tell him she knew that it was wrong. But since she figured she'd never see him again she'd put it to the back of her mind, even though she had hot dreams about him. Vince laughed at her.
"Oh Vinnie. Now you know the whole sad story."
"Yeah, now I do. You're some kinda fighter Kitten." Vince slipped into the proper nickname for her. She was a kitten, a pet. He didn't know how she was so sweet and innocent after all she'd been through, combined with sexy as hell and street smart like any of the team. "I don't know how you survived everything up to this point, let alone having the genius Leon say all the shit to you I know he did. Since we're being painfully honest here, is it true you tried to kill yourself, and how did you do it."
She sighed. She wasn't proud she'd tried to take the easy way out like that. It was an older story then Vince no doubt assumed, but she'd tell him. It felt good to have it all out in the open, since Vince wasn't likely to remember half the details tomorrow anyway. "Well, that's a whole lota history too Vinnie. Older then you think. I was about 17, well almost 18, it was around prom time of grade 12. It was when Kale was shot and almost died. I felt like if I'd been with him, not out with my friends I woulda got the person that did it to him. I was guilty I wasn't there to watch out for him. I had this idea that the guys needed me as much as I needed them and I felt I let them down by not being there to look out for Kale. Kale's sorta easygoin' and laid back and I was the fiery one, the one who started shit. I made Kale stand up for himself and me. I thought if I'd been around those guys wouldn'ta dared start shit, or Kale woulda been more on his guard to protect me. I was guilty as hell and figured the world'd be better off without me." She paused to sniffle.
"So I slit my wrist in the bath tub and waited to bleed to death. I thought there'd be less mess to clean up that way. Sean found me and I did almost die. I lost a lot of blood. Then I felt guilty for putting the guys through that and for trying to take the easy way out of my problems. That's why what he said," Vince knew she meant Leon "hit so close to home. I remember the night that Kale was hurt like yesterday."
*flashback*
She'd been out all night, partying with her girls. She'd had too much to drink, and some other stuff besides and she was baked. She was always baked after a party. She didn't see the problem with it. All the guys did drugs too. It was what she knew. She didn't do as much as a lot of her friends and she stuck to the 'light' stuff. She knew in her heart there was no such thing but she wanted to fit in and it was a way to escape from her life, if only for the time the high from the liquor and drugs lasted.
She'd stumbled home at around 3 with Nikki. Nikki was always staying over at their place or vise versa. Nikki liked to stay with them because she had a crush on Stacy plus there was no parent at Kat's house to hide just how fucked up they were from. Kat thought it was cute Nikki had such a thing for Stacy. Both girls were beyond messed up that night. They let themselves into the apartment, trying to be quiet and failing miserably as drunk people often do. They stumbled into shit and then both went 'shush' at the same time to each other. Then they collapsed laughing into each other.
They stumbled toward Kat's room, this was before they left the gang and had to move, arm in arm trying not to wake the guys. Even though Kat knew there was nothing that Nikki wanted more then to crawl into Stacy's bed. Nikki was far from a virgin and she liked to pick on Kat for the difference in their experiences. They would likely have made less noise if they'd just went instead of trying to be quiet. It didn't matter because the living room light suddenly came on and Stacy and Sean were sitting in the living room waiting. They'd been in the dark. Kat looked back at them, her mouth making a startled little o of surprise and Nikki's face mirroring the look. She knew they hated it when she got baked. It was fine for them but not her.
Both girls walked toward the living room unsteadily, wondering why the guys waited up. They never waited up. Kat wondered if Sean was mad at her or something, hiding in the dark waiting for her to come home.
"What's up baby boys?" Kat asked and then hiccupped.
"Kat you'd better sit down." Sean started.
"Maybe we should just tell 'em in the morning when they sober up." Stacy said in his quiet voice he always used to calm her down.
"Tell us what?" Kat asked, getting worried. They didn't answer, just shared a look. "Tell us what?" She said in a louder voice.
"Sit'own girls." Sean sighed. They sat together, Indian style on the floor. Once they were sitting down Sean started. "There was a drive-by on Connor's tonight. Kale got hit." Sean looked at Kat.
"No way, this is some kinda mean joke Sean. Right?" Kat asked, not able to believe it.
"No kitty cat, it's for real." Sean answered. She started to sob. Sean got up and picked her up, held her in his lap. Nikki was quietly crying too. Stacy pulled her to him.
"Is he.?" Kat was scared to know.
"No, but he's in critical condition. He's gonna be ok Kat." Sean stroked her hair. "You need to go to sleep so that you can come with us to see him tomorrow." Sean had to put her to bed and stay with her that night to keep her calm. She kept going on about how it was her fault for not being there and how if she hadn't been out getting drunk and stoned this never would have happened. Sean did his best to reassure her but it was no good. She finally exhausted herself and slept.
Nikki and Stacy had started their relationship that night, and while it hadn't lasted forever they'd dated for almost a year and it had ended on a somewhat friendly note.
About a week after Sean told her about Kale, when it was obvious he was going to pull through she'd taken a razor apart in the bathroom and climbed into the bathtub. She'd taken the razor to her wrist and slashed across as hard as she could. She cried out when she felt the sting of the blade biting into her flesh, then she'd gone pleasantly numb and it hadn't hurt anymore. Nothing had. She started to slip off into oblivion. She was smiling as it happened, no more hurting, no more worries. About 3 minutes after she did it Sean had come home to grab something and found her. It had felt like forever as she felt her blood leak out of her wrist and she felt her mind start to get fuzzy. They'd rushed her to the hospital and she'd gotten out around the same time as Kale.
*End Flashback*
She started to cry, thinking about it was hard still, and crying made her stutter but she kept on with the story. "I do take the easy way out and let someone else clean up behind me all the time. I mean rather then get on with life and suck it up I tried to just kill myself and let the guys deal with it." She showed him her left wrist, after she took the wristband that she almost always had on off. There was a silvery line of scar tissue along it. Vince took hold of her arm and kissed her wrist.
"I'm glad you're ok. And I don't think you take the easy way out of anything. You raced Leon when you'd rather not have. You're still here, which is the biggest proof you're a survivor. I been through a lot too and I'll tell ya, I thought about killin' myself when I thought I was gonna lose my arm too. I just pussied out in the end, I couldn't do it." Vince told her in his deep growl. He was so mad at fate for doing what it had to Kat he almost had to get up and scream at the sky over it. She shouldn't have had to deal with half this stuff, let alone the shit with Leon.
"Thanks V. I don't think anyone who doesn't try pussies out. I think they're too damn smart like I'm too damn stupid. Plus then I had all the hospital staff watching me all the time, like they figured I'd try it again any time. I wasn't allowed anything sharp at all and they watched me like all the time. It was horrible and demeaning." She sniffled. Vince decided that he liked hearing her call him Vinny. It was alright when it was Kat. It made him feel like they had some sort of special relationship. He'd kill anyone else who dared. "Now it's your turn. I wanna know all about Nyssa."
"How'd you know her name?" Vince knew he didn't tell, he never said her full name. It hurt too much.
"I have my ways Vinnie now spill."
Dun Dun Dun! So the story behind why Nyssa's not around is about to come out. Stay tuned.
"What'dya wanna talk about first Vinnie?" Kat asked.
"You gonna call me Vinnie all night?" Vince sighed.
"Depends, does anyone else call you Vinnie?"
"Hell no. That's not my name."
"What is your name then? Vincent?"
"No, it's Vince. Or V to my friends. You can call me V."
"What's it say on your birth certificate?"
"What's it say on yours?" He snapped back.
"I asked you first Vinnie."
"It says Vincent Joseph. I'm Vince though."
"I think after what we did tonight I should get to have a name for you that no one else has, therefore you are Vinnie to me."
"Ok then, I'ma call you Kitty."
"Sounds fine to me. People use to call me Kitty Kat all the time, still do sometimes." She agreed. Kitty, kitten, it was all the same. Vince growled. She was supposed to hate it as much as he hated Vinnie.
"So what's your name on your birth certificate?" Vince asked again.
"Katharine Leone." She answered him finally. She wasn't telling him the whole story. No one knew and she wasn't telling Vince.
"No shit? Your middle name is Leone?"
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"No, how do you spell that?" He asked. She told him. "Your middle name is Leon with an e on the end?"
"Yes." She sighed, exasperated. She'd figured out the irony of the fact she almost had the same name as the guy she liked long ago. Vince continued on with a laugh.
"There, that wasn't so hard was it? So what do I wanna talk about huh?"
"Yep, you go first. Decide what we're gonna talk about first."
"I wanna know why you did what you did. I heard some stories but I wanna know why right from you."
"Why aren't you pissed at me for that anyway? He's your friend." Kat had to know before she told the story.
"I was pissed as hell till I saw you cryin' your heart out in your back yard. Then it sorta occurred to me that you pretty much didn't have a choice in the matter. Now tell the story."
"It's a long story Vinnie. 4 years of history led up to that point."
"We got all night it seems kitten so humor me."
"Ok, here it goes." And with that she launched into the tale in more detail then anyone knew. Even Leon after their night of asking each other personal questions. She told Vince all about how her brother had gone to sell her to someone, how she'd burned the house down, or so she assumed, how she stolen their stolen car and driven it across the country with no license, scared out of her mind the whole way, traveling only at night to try not to get caught. Staying all alone at barely 15 in shady motels that she only got with the use of her fake id. Ending up in south central and getting picked up by the guys. Being just as big of a gang banger as the guys. Being into drugs and liquor from the age of 15. She'd done it all. But sleep around. But she didn't tell Vince that. She wasn't ready to share the lack of sexual experience she had with anyone. She knew he'd just assume she'd gotten around like most people did when they heard how she use to live.
She told him about how one of the guys on the gang had been killed by a rival gang and how they realized then how likely it was one of them would get killed by gang violence. But how it had been the time a rival had come after Stacy specifically and almost gotten him killed that had really made them decide they had to leave. How they did ok without the gang at first, when Kat was racing and winning. But then someone again off a rival gang had tried to kill her by running her off the road into a phone pole. How times had gotten hard while she couldn't race. She told him about how she thought she'd never race again because of her fear and because they'd had no idea how to get money to fix the car. She told Vince everything about how they'd been living, in a one room apartment with no food, heat, lights, way to cook even if they had food. No hot water and how the bugs had outnumbered them 10 to 1. She told him how they'd decided to get some money by robbing a pizza boy because they couldn't hold up the corner stores.
She laughed despite herself when she told him she'd checked out Leon's ass even on that night. How she'd felt bad even then and so had Sean, or at least Sean knew it had been ridiculous. How she'd thought about the pizza boy all the time, wished she could tell him she was sorry. Tell him she knew that it was wrong. But since she figured she'd never see him again she'd put it to the back of her mind, even though she had hot dreams about him. Vince laughed at her.
"Oh Vinnie. Now you know the whole sad story."
"Yeah, now I do. You're some kinda fighter Kitten." Vince slipped into the proper nickname for her. She was a kitten, a pet. He didn't know how she was so sweet and innocent after all she'd been through, combined with sexy as hell and street smart like any of the team. "I don't know how you survived everything up to this point, let alone having the genius Leon say all the shit to you I know he did. Since we're being painfully honest here, is it true you tried to kill yourself, and how did you do it."
She sighed. She wasn't proud she'd tried to take the easy way out like that. It was an older story then Vince no doubt assumed, but she'd tell him. It felt good to have it all out in the open, since Vince wasn't likely to remember half the details tomorrow anyway. "Well, that's a whole lota history too Vinnie. Older then you think. I was about 17, well almost 18, it was around prom time of grade 12. It was when Kale was shot and almost died. I felt like if I'd been with him, not out with my friends I woulda got the person that did it to him. I was guilty I wasn't there to watch out for him. I had this idea that the guys needed me as much as I needed them and I felt I let them down by not being there to look out for Kale. Kale's sorta easygoin' and laid back and I was the fiery one, the one who started shit. I made Kale stand up for himself and me. I thought if I'd been around those guys wouldn'ta dared start shit, or Kale woulda been more on his guard to protect me. I was guilty as hell and figured the world'd be better off without me." She paused to sniffle.
"So I slit my wrist in the bath tub and waited to bleed to death. I thought there'd be less mess to clean up that way. Sean found me and I did almost die. I lost a lot of blood. Then I felt guilty for putting the guys through that and for trying to take the easy way out of my problems. That's why what he said," Vince knew she meant Leon "hit so close to home. I remember the night that Kale was hurt like yesterday."
*flashback*
She'd been out all night, partying with her girls. She'd had too much to drink, and some other stuff besides and she was baked. She was always baked after a party. She didn't see the problem with it. All the guys did drugs too. It was what she knew. She didn't do as much as a lot of her friends and she stuck to the 'light' stuff. She knew in her heart there was no such thing but she wanted to fit in and it was a way to escape from her life, if only for the time the high from the liquor and drugs lasted.
She'd stumbled home at around 3 with Nikki. Nikki was always staying over at their place or vise versa. Nikki liked to stay with them because she had a crush on Stacy plus there was no parent at Kat's house to hide just how fucked up they were from. Kat thought it was cute Nikki had such a thing for Stacy. Both girls were beyond messed up that night. They let themselves into the apartment, trying to be quiet and failing miserably as drunk people often do. They stumbled into shit and then both went 'shush' at the same time to each other. Then they collapsed laughing into each other.
They stumbled toward Kat's room, this was before they left the gang and had to move, arm in arm trying not to wake the guys. Even though Kat knew there was nothing that Nikki wanted more then to crawl into Stacy's bed. Nikki was far from a virgin and she liked to pick on Kat for the difference in their experiences. They would likely have made less noise if they'd just went instead of trying to be quiet. It didn't matter because the living room light suddenly came on and Stacy and Sean were sitting in the living room waiting. They'd been in the dark. Kat looked back at them, her mouth making a startled little o of surprise and Nikki's face mirroring the look. She knew they hated it when she got baked. It was fine for them but not her.
Both girls walked toward the living room unsteadily, wondering why the guys waited up. They never waited up. Kat wondered if Sean was mad at her or something, hiding in the dark waiting for her to come home.
"What's up baby boys?" Kat asked and then hiccupped.
"Kat you'd better sit down." Sean started.
"Maybe we should just tell 'em in the morning when they sober up." Stacy said in his quiet voice he always used to calm her down.
"Tell us what?" Kat asked, getting worried. They didn't answer, just shared a look. "Tell us what?" She said in a louder voice.
"Sit'own girls." Sean sighed. They sat together, Indian style on the floor. Once they were sitting down Sean started. "There was a drive-by on Connor's tonight. Kale got hit." Sean looked at Kat.
"No way, this is some kinda mean joke Sean. Right?" Kat asked, not able to believe it.
"No kitty cat, it's for real." Sean answered. She started to sob. Sean got up and picked her up, held her in his lap. Nikki was quietly crying too. Stacy pulled her to him.
"Is he.?" Kat was scared to know.
"No, but he's in critical condition. He's gonna be ok Kat." Sean stroked her hair. "You need to go to sleep so that you can come with us to see him tomorrow." Sean had to put her to bed and stay with her that night to keep her calm. She kept going on about how it was her fault for not being there and how if she hadn't been out getting drunk and stoned this never would have happened. Sean did his best to reassure her but it was no good. She finally exhausted herself and slept.
Nikki and Stacy had started their relationship that night, and while it hadn't lasted forever they'd dated for almost a year and it had ended on a somewhat friendly note.
About a week after Sean told her about Kale, when it was obvious he was going to pull through she'd taken a razor apart in the bathroom and climbed into the bathtub. She'd taken the razor to her wrist and slashed across as hard as she could. She cried out when she felt the sting of the blade biting into her flesh, then she'd gone pleasantly numb and it hadn't hurt anymore. Nothing had. She started to slip off into oblivion. She was smiling as it happened, no more hurting, no more worries. About 3 minutes after she did it Sean had come home to grab something and found her. It had felt like forever as she felt her blood leak out of her wrist and she felt her mind start to get fuzzy. They'd rushed her to the hospital and she'd gotten out around the same time as Kale.
*End Flashback*
She started to cry, thinking about it was hard still, and crying made her stutter but she kept on with the story. "I do take the easy way out and let someone else clean up behind me all the time. I mean rather then get on with life and suck it up I tried to just kill myself and let the guys deal with it." She showed him her left wrist, after she took the wristband that she almost always had on off. There was a silvery line of scar tissue along it. Vince took hold of her arm and kissed her wrist.
"I'm glad you're ok. And I don't think you take the easy way out of anything. You raced Leon when you'd rather not have. You're still here, which is the biggest proof you're a survivor. I been through a lot too and I'll tell ya, I thought about killin' myself when I thought I was gonna lose my arm too. I just pussied out in the end, I couldn't do it." Vince told her in his deep growl. He was so mad at fate for doing what it had to Kat he almost had to get up and scream at the sky over it. She shouldn't have had to deal with half this stuff, let alone the shit with Leon.
"Thanks V. I don't think anyone who doesn't try pussies out. I think they're too damn smart like I'm too damn stupid. Plus then I had all the hospital staff watching me all the time, like they figured I'd try it again any time. I wasn't allowed anything sharp at all and they watched me like all the time. It was horrible and demeaning." She sniffled. Vince decided that he liked hearing her call him Vinny. It was alright when it was Kat. It made him feel like they had some sort of special relationship. He'd kill anyone else who dared. "Now it's your turn. I wanna know all about Nyssa."
"How'd you know her name?" Vince knew he didn't tell, he never said her full name. It hurt too much.
"I have my ways Vinnie now spill."
Dun Dun Dun! So the story behind why Nyssa's not around is about to come out. Stay tuned.