Chapter Three: Christmas at the Burrow

Christmas, 1996…Yuletide at the Burrow while Voldemort's powers grow a second time…

Remus had no idea why, but for some reason, he found himself staring vacantly into the fireplace at the Burrow, not really listening to the overly loud music Mrs. Weasley had insisted on playing (though no one could totally tune out Celestina Warbeck's trills) and ignoring the shouts and cries from Fred, George, and Ginny's game of Exploding Snap (Ginny was beating the boys soundly).

It seemed strange to him to be back in civilization, to be sitting in an ordinary living room surrounded by perfectly lovely people, all of whom cared about him very much. After spending so much time like an animal – literally and figuratively – the sight of sofas and newspapers and fireplaces seemed almost foreign to him. They were, of course, a welcome change to what his living conditions had been for the past few months, but definitely an odd one. Molly's cooking was the best part of the return to culture.

However, as voices floated around him and Harry began vehemently explaining his latest theory to Arthur on how Draco Malfoy was planning to bring a downfall to Hogwarts – or something like that, Remus wasn't totally sure as he'd tuned in halfway through – and Fleur and Bill simpered over each other, Remus found himself thinking about a little girl from many years ago.

Her name was Lorene Spark, and she was only eleven when he met her. Marlene McKinnon had informed him the day after a particularly violent full moon (which Sibyll Trelawney had insisted was caused because of Mercury being in retrograde) that she had been attacked by a werewolf the previous night. Remus had felt a hideous, horrified moment when he thought it might have been him, but it had turned out to be the work of Fenrir Greyback, the most vicious of all werewolves, the one who had bitten Remus when he was a small boy. The day he met Lorene stood out in his memory as fresh as though it had just occurred…

"Hello, Lorene, my name is Remus Lupin," said Remus as he entered the room at St. Mungo's, taking off his hat. "How are you feeling?"

Lorene turned to him, looking very scared, and did not say anything. Remus saw that she was a cute little girl, with chocolate-coloured skin and two long pigtails. She was very small anyway, but as she was surrounded by fluffed pillows and in a too-big gown, she looked even tinier.

"There's no reason to be afraid, sweetheart," said Remus, sitting down. "I'm here to help you. I heard there was an accident last night."

"Yes," said Lorene. Her voice was smaller than Remus had expected.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"I was in my room and I heard someone scratch at the window. When I looked, I didn't think anyone was there, so I opened the window, and he –"

Lorene broke off, tears beginning to form in her eyes. Remus reached out and took her hand in his reassuringly. He felt a very fatherly connection to her, wondering if this is how his parents felt when he'd been attacked.

"Go on," he urged her gently.

"He bit my arm. Hard. I didn't know what had happened, so I started yelling, and my sister came into the room."

"What did your sister do?"

"I told her to get him off of me, and she did some curse, I don't know what. But it made him go away. Then she got our mum and daddy and they brought me here."

"You're very brave, Lorene. Braver than some grown-up wizards and witches I know," said Remus genuinely.

He gave her hand a little squeeze and she gave a ghost of a smile.

"Are you going to tell everyone what I am now?" she asked.

"No, I'm not," said Remus. "It'll be our secret, right?"

"All right," said Lorene. "But…"

"Yes?"

"Will I be allowed to go to school now? I want to go to Hogwarts so badly. I got my letter already, but now they might not let me go!" Lorene wailed.

"Of course you'll go," said Remus firmly. "Dumbledore will take good care of you. He took very good care of me."

"Of you? You mean…are you a –"

"Yes, I am," said Remus. "So you can trust me. If you need me for anything, your mum and daddy know how to contact me."

"Thank you, sir," said Lorene.

"You can call me Remus," said Remus, standing up. "I've got to go now, Lorene, but your family is coming to see you now. Thank you for telling me what happened."

"You're welcome. Thank you for visiting me. Will you come back again tomorrow?"

"If you'd like me to, yes."

"I would," said Lorene, and Remus saw in her eyes her need for someone like her to be nearby.

"Then of course I will. But for now, I have to be off. Get some rest," said Remus, and he left the ward with a warm smile and a wave that Lorene returned.

His heart ached to think how this sweet little girl would now have to suffer. Though he was a young man, Remus had already begun to feel older than ever. Outside in the hall, Remus greeted Lorene's parents and sister, Luminita, whom he remembered from school. He gave her an extra hug, then left, feeling if he stayed any longer, he would be intruding on their family's privacy…

Something Harry said jolted him back to reality, something about Snape helping Draco in this quest to join Voldemort or carry out his orders. Remus found himself replying to Harry mechanically, his mind elsewhere from his words, telling him that as long as Dumbledore believed Snape, they should as well…but his heart wasn't really in his replies, truthful though they were. He just wanted to be able to go upstairs and go to bed, but knew it would be ungrateful to back out of the festivities so early.

With a slight jolt, Remus realised he was telling Harry about Greyback. Had he really been so lost in his thoughts about Lorene that he hadn't even known what he was talking about? Had Greyback even been part of the conversation they were having? But at looking at the expression on Harry's face – one of interest and engagement, not of confused politeness – he knew Harry must have asked about him. For heaven's sake, what was wrong with him? He must get a grip on himself. If he started to always talk without realising what he was talking about, it could have really nasty consequences.

"But you are normal!" said Harry in response to Remus's remark about Greyback's belief of revenge on normal people. "You've just got a – a problem –"

This was enough to bring warmth into Remus's heart. In that second, despite the difference in eyes, Harry had looked exactly like his father, sounded like him as well, and had used a phrase almost exactly like James had used to. Remus told Harry how James used to refer to his "furry little problem". His thoughts finally caught up with his words, Lorene's innocent face finally out of his mind, Remus accepted a glass of eggnog and drank deeply, feeling that nothing in the world could have ever tasted better.

Christmas lunch was an interesting occasion. Everyone had worn their new sweaters that Molly had knitted for them – Remus was especially grateful for his dark blue one, as his only sweaters had begun to get very ragged – and passing food around. Remus accepted the parsnips George passed him and loaded up his plate with various other delicacies Molly had prepared. He tried to shake off the uncomfortable mentions of Nymphadora Tonks, as they caused him rather a few prickles up the neck he didn't want to feel.

It wasn't that he didn't like Tonks, because he did, he was terribly fond of her. But there were too many things standing in the way of any sort of relationship between the two of them. Their ages, for one, because how could she expect someone as old as Remus to be able to offer her the same things as a younger man could? Money was another issue, as Remus had next to none. Lycanthropy, obviously, was on the map as number one…well, perhaps not number one…there was one other thing holding Remus back…