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Summary: Max is dealing with Logan's death, or is she?

Timing: 7 days after Logan's death

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update. Just a warning for all those that read these notes this chapter is confusing and depressing. Don't worry though after this it'll get better. I promise.

Revised Borrowed Time:

Chapter 5,

Dealing With It

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On the other side of the apartment's door Alec sat, his head resting against the hard wood as one of his hands ran nervously through his dirty-blond hair and then down over his face. "Oh god." He whispered. "She didn't need this. Not now, not ever." Mentally he kicked himself as the sound of her sobs drifted though the door. "Err!" He groaned in frustration, his teeth clenching down on his lower lip. Max's last words before the tears ended stilled Alec as he sat there outside her door. "Oh god Max if only you knew." Alec whispered in return to her confession. "If only you knew."

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Silently Max sat against the wall, her head bowed, and her eyes closed against the world. Still though they saw. They saw the past few weeks as if they had happened to someone else. As if it were a show she had watched on TV, or a story she had read in the paper. As she sat there unmoving she felt numb, numb to the world, numb to her past, and numb to her future. Numb to everything, even the physical and mental pain raging through her petite body.

"What happened to me?" She asked running a hand through her long silky hair. "I used to be so strong." Slowly the tears returned, sliding quietly down her thin cheeks and onto her folded legs. "So brave." She whispered to herself. Absently her fingers ran over each other, intertwining and tangling, as she sat there staring at the door that Alec had disappeared out of only moments before. She should go after him; she should tell him that she's sorry, that she didn't mean any of it, that she's just emotional right now, that she needs him to help her because deep down she knows that he's the only one that really can. At that realization a shiver ran up the beautiful X5's spine causing her to hug herself tighter. "Alec I need you." She cried shutting her eyes once more.

Outside of her door Alec sat up straight his ears perking at the sound of her voice on the other side. Noiselessly the male X5 listened to all that the strong female said and to all she left unsaid. At the end Alec's mouth fell open, his eyes growing wide at what she had confessed. 'She needs me.' He thought. Not OC, her best friend, but him, her resident pain in the ass and all around screw up. Alec smiled humorlessly at fates twisted irony. Now when she was at her lowest she finally realized that she needed someone who had gone through what she was going through. Someone who could relate to what she felt. Someone who could help her forget or at least not care about what had happened any more and who better then Alec, the king at controlling his emotions. The master at always being all right.

Shaking his head one final time Alec stood to leave. Before walking down the hall, though, he nodded his head in her apartment's direction. 'Your one in a million Max.' He thought. 'One in a million.' And with that he disappeared from sight.

Inside the apartment Max forced herself to stand up on her unsteady legs. She then forced herself to take her backpack up in one of her hands. Almost robotically the brunette went about her remaining preparations before she finally left the apartment for the day.

Even though Alec had warned her against it she still had to do it. She still had to go over there and rescue Logan's all-important EO equipment, the equipment that had caused her to risk her life so many times before now and to think this would be the last time any of it was used. Or so she thought as she laced up her sneakers and put on a pair of sunglasses.

Letting a breath out Max reached out a hand to push open the window to Logan's apartment. It was hard to believe that it had only been seven days, an entire week, since she had last been there. Sine she had last seen the love of her life alive. Biting back a sob Max opened the window and silently slipped inside of the lushly furnished apartment so unlike her own. As she scanned the room with her keen eyes they saw not only what was there but also all that had ever happened there. All that had ever happened to her.

She saw herself sliding down from the skylight on a heavy black rope, looking around and automatically spotting what she had come for. She saw herself coming back to that same apartment with the statue she had first came for in her hands. She saw endless nights of pasta dinners and shy looks exchanged between her and her love. And then at the very end of all this she saw Alec standing there before her at the apartment's front door. She hadn't even realized that she had gone to the door until that last image, that last shadow figure had appeared before her.

To keep her mind busy she wondered what it meant as she went about removing all of Logan's EO equipment. It made it easier to pack away all the files, all the cameras, and all the rest. It made it easier to see the ghosts that lurked in the dark corners of her memory but most of all it made it easier to pretend that all of this was a bad dream. That in time she would awaken to find that her over active imagination had cooked all of this up and Logan was really waiting for her at that very moment. In her heart though she knew that what she was doing was real. That all of it was and that eventually she would have to face it. 'But not now.' She thought as she secured the last box to the back of her motorcycle. Not ever if she could help it.

Slowly Max swung one leg over the seat of her baby as she turned her head back for one last look at the apartment she would never again see. And then it hit her. It hit her how much she missed Logan, how much she longed for him, but at the same time she realized that he was gone and nothing could change that. Realizing this she turned her head back around to face forward, tears standing in her large brown eyes.

"Goodbye Logan." She whispered as the tears slid easily down her cheeks. "Goodbye." And with that final word she started her bike and road away into the filthy streets of Seattle her eyes filled with tears that she would no longer let fall. After all he was gone, and there was no more reason to cry over him now was there?

A/N: I told u it was confusing. Anyways please review if u feel up to it. All feedback it welcome.