AN: I'm sooooo sorry. You'll know why shortly. But I promise it'll all work
out some day. Just not right now. As always, review. And please don't kill
me too much for what you're about to read. Remember I love you all! Oh, and
the title of the chapter is from "Almost Doesn't Count" By Brandy and it's
kinda relevant. *holds hands up in supplication as she backs slowly away
from FanFiction.net*
Chapter 47 – Almost doesn't count
Leon was pacing around in his room, Nyssa's words circling his head. "Try harder babe. Try harder. This is worth fighting for."
He had been trying. He'd tried hard. But not hard enough and he knew it. But he didn't know how else to try. He still hoped in time things would go back to normal. But he didn't know if they could. But it was coming up to 6 and he didn't want to be late for picking up Kat. He had a funny feeling who the girl who'd made Nyssa come home was and he wanted to talk to a certain blonde about where she'd been when she'd been out of her house all afternoon.
*~*
Kat got dressed and waited for Leon to show up to get her. She was nervous. She wanted to give another chance to Leon and really try to have things be good but she just didn't really see it happening. Something was on Leon's mind, was bothering him, and if he didn't want to talk about what it was then Kat didn't know what else she could do. She was pacing her living room when she saw him back his car out of his driveway and then drive into hers.
"I'm goin out guys. See you around 11 or so and we'll head down. Aiight?"
"See you girl." She heard Kale call back. She headed out the door, happy that someone knew where she was. She momentarily hoped that Sean would check over her car for her since she wouldn't have time to do it herself, but if she didn't have time then it wouldn't get checked she figured. The car had been garaged almost all week anyway so she figured it would be fine if it didn't get checked. She walked up to Leon's car and got in.
"Hey." She said to Leon with a small smile and started to do up her harness.
"Hey. How're you?" Leon asked, watching her for any sign of nervousness. He figured if she'd run into Nyssa and told her stuff, Kat would be feeling guilty.
"I'm good. I feel like I wasted the day doin nothin but other then that I'm good. How're you?"
"I'm good. Vince's girl came home today." Leon started, wondering how Kat would react if she'd had a hand in Nyssa's sudden arrival back with the team.
"Really? That's great." Kat smiled in genuine happiness for Vince. He'd missed his girl so much; Kat knew he'd be thrilled to have her home. Kat hadn't expected Nyssa to work so fast. Kat wondered if Nyssa had told Leon why she came home. She figured not since he as acting like she shouldn't know anything about it.
"It is great. I really missed her. She's such a nice girl. I know Vince missed her a lot too. He was always all miserable'n shit without her." Leon watched the road a little too carefully.
Kat could tell he was trying to act innocent when he was not. It was likely he was trying to lead her into telling him that she'd spoken to Nyssa. Kat figured that he didn't know who Nyssa had spoken to and he was trying to find out. He must have his suspicions it was her. She decided not to tell him and to try and throw him off. She didn't know why but his dancing around the issue instead of just asking her if she'd spoken to Nyssa pissed her off.
"Maybe Vinnie'll introduce me to her tonight if they go to races then. I've heard so much about her from Vince and you that I can't wait to see if she lives up to all the hype you guys have built about her." Kat said, purposefully using her pet name for Vince. It pissed her off that she and Leon were on a date and here he was talking about how much he'd liked Nyssa, how nice she was, how much he'd missed the other girl.
That and trying to trick her into telling him it was her that Nyssa had spoken to.
Leon couldn't detect any guilt or worry in her tone. Maybe he was off base when he'd thought that Kat must have been the one to talk Nyssa into coming home. He decided to be less subtle. "She said she was talking to some girl who knew Vince real well and I figured it must have been you."
"Nope. It wasn't me." Kat lied so smoothly she almost surprised herself.
"Really? I don't know who else it would have been then. It's pretty strange."
"Why is it important to you Leon? I mean I'm not sayin it was me but why do you care so much? She's home. Why does it matter why she came back?"
"It doesn't. I was just curious. More because who ever convinced her to come back deserves a big thank you from the rest of my team and from Vince."
"Yeah, and if Nyssa tells Vince why she came back then Vince can thank the person. Did you ask me out to interrogate me about Vince's girlfriend?" Kat was getting a bit fed up with Leon's obsession with something that was essentially none of his business.
"No. It was just something interesting that happened today." Leon answered her back in a sharper tone then he would have liked to have used.
"Then why not just tell me about it? Why did it have to be like some sort of accusation? Jesus. So what if I did run into her and talk to her. What's it to you? And if I didn't see her and I told you I didn't would you believe me?" Kat asked with a very angry look on her face. It didn't improve when Leon hesitated to answer her. "So I guess that's my answer huh? No matter what it's over or what I tell you, you still have to ask yourself if I'm telling you the truth or not. I could tell you I saw her and we talked or I could tell you I never saw the girl before in my life and you'd have to wonder if I was lying to you or not in either case." Kat sat back in her seat with a huff. She was incredibly angry and upset.
"That's not true. It was just the way Nyssa looked at me and the way she talked about the girl she met. It was like she knew you. I just figured based on some stuff she said to me this afternoon that you must have been the girl she met." Leon really wanted to know if Kat had told Nyssa all about their troubles and what he'd said to Kat when they'd broken up.
"Yeah, but I told you back when you first picked me up that I hoped V would introduce me to her soon. I doubt very much I'd require an intro if I'd met the girl already." Kat felt mildly bad about lying to Leon but it was mostly eclipsed by the fact he'd basically called her a liar and the fact that he had no trust for her at all. They pulled into the local diner and Kat was out of the car as soon as it stopped moving. She didn't know if she was going to be able to be around Leon long enough to eat and see a movie. She felt she had a lot to think about and she didn't know if she could do it with him around. Plus she was just so mad.
She didn't wait for Leon to exit his car she just headed for the door.
"Hey Kat, wait up." Leon called after her. She stopped and turned around to wait for him with a frown. "I wasn't trying to be rude." He tried to diffuse the situation.
"No, you were trying to call me a liar. Mission accomplished." Kat snapped back.
"I wasn't trying to call you a liar either. I was just trying to figure out who she was talking to. If it wasn't you then I don't know who it would be. I was really hoping that who ever it was has the good sense not to tell her about the night that you and Vince almost became more then friends." Leon looked irate when he brought up the night that Kat and Vince had disappeared together.
"Well, unless you or Vince have been telling people about that no one else knows." Kat retorted with a hiss. They were still standing out front of the restaurant. Kat had foolishly believed Leon when he'd told her he was over that incident. It seemed that he'd lied to her about that and he was no where near over it.
"No one knows? Just the 100 or so people that were at my house that night Kat. Shit, you think they were all blind?" Leon drawled out sarcastically.
"They didn't see anything happen that wouldn't happen at any club in the city and I did nothing to be ashamed of." Kat almost yelled back at Leon. She was sick of being made to feel guilty over things that she'd said sorry for what felt like a hundred times over and that she'd been told she was forgiven for as well. Plus while she felt mildly bad about how far things had gone she really didn't think she'd done anything that she needed to beg a thousand pardons for either.
"You almost had sex with my best friend right after we split up and you did nothing to be ashamed of?" Leon raised his voice as he asked.
"So, the truth comes out. You think I should fall on my knees and beg your forgiveness for that and everything else again don't you?"
Leon had a look of righteous anger on his face. Kat was about to disabuse him of the notion he had anything to feel righteous over. She'd taken all she could take and apologized way too many times to do it even one more time. She continued in a sarcastic vein.
"Well guess what? We were broken up by that night and you were the one who left me. Vince was single. I didn't do anything wrong and you were the one who decided you wanted to try again. I'd have to wonder why when you obviously think I'm some sort of lying slut." Kat screamed and turned. She then started to stalk off down the street, hair swinging from side to side with her violent gait.
Leon sighed. This wasn't where he'd seen the evening going. He'd meant what he'd told Nyssa. He'd planned on working harder at making up with Kat, with pushing the lingering feelings of anger and resentment aside. But yet there he was fighting with her in public. It made it worse to realize she was at least partially correct. He did watch her for signs of lying and he hadn't really gotten over the fact she'd almost slept with Vince. He couldn't just let her walk away.
"Kat wait." He ran after her. She kept walking. He ran up behind her and asked again. "Wait, please." She stopped walking. He touched her shoulder and she shrugged him off.
"I deserved that Kat. I didn't come out with you to fight. I'm sorry I messed up. I didn't mean to make you feel any of the ways you told me that I make you feel and I'm sorry." She didn't turn to look at him. "I guess we do have some issues to work out."
"Yeah, and while you do I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other anymore." Kat said and sniffled, looking at her feet.
"So you're breaking up with me?" Leon asked, incredulous.
Kat thought he sounded incredulous, like he couldn't believe she'd do such a thing.
"Yeah, I guess I am. I really can't take it anymore Leon and it's not fair for you to ask me to. You obviously still hate me for what I did and no matter how hard you try to make it seem like you don't so that you can get in my pants I can still tell you're mad at me three quarters of the time and the other quarter you're just scheming on how you can get me in bed." Kat had finally put her finger on what had been bothering her about Leon and that was it. She'd been picking up on his anger. She could tell he was still angry about everything and he couldn't move past it. Kat couldn't pretend not to know any longer. She'd been lying to herself about it too, and it had to stop.
Leon was slightly floored that she'd realized that he was mad at her over everything by times. He'd thought that he'd done a good job of hiding it.
"I don't hate you Kat. Sometimes I still feel a bit mad about things is all. We can work through it. We don't need to break up. We can just try to take things slow. I'm not just trying to get you into bed. If I was I would've done something about it long ago, back before I figured everything out."
"We tried to take it slow and it still spiralled out of control Leon. We tried to make things work but it just got worse. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't think we have issues to work through I think you do and if I try to stick around and wait while you work them out it's just going to drive me crazy. You need to figure out what you really want and what's realistic for you to have. If I fit into your life when you have that figured out let me know. Till then I think we need to go separate ways."
"What do you mean what I want and what's realistic for me to have?"
"I mean do you want us to be together or did you just get back with me because you figured you were close to getting me in bed and you wanted another chance to finish what you started? One is realistic and could have happened. The other is never going to happen. That's what I mean. You can have me in your life but only when you're ready to show me that you're really over everything and you really want a relationship with me, not that you see me as the one who got away."
"That was never part of it Kat. I guess I was just madder about what happened then I let myself admit to. I mean it when I say I never just wanted to get you into bed. I've just gotten girls into bed before and I mean it when I tell you if that was what I wanted it would have happened already." Leon was getting mad that she was thinking that he was only trying to take her to bed when he'd taken things slow with her to the best of his ability.
"You can be mad all you want Leon. You just can't be mad about it all and still have me in your life. I can't do it. If you ever think you're really ready to try again then you know where I live. Oh, and no matter what you did if I hadn't really cared about you, you never would have gotten me into your bed. I'm not that kind of girl and I never will be." With that said, and a dismissive hand gesture, Kat spun on her heel and started to walk away, tears in her eyes that Leon thought he could have used her if he'd wanted to.
"Where are you going?" Leon asked her, jogging along behind her.
"Home."
"I'll take you home, you don't have to walk."
"I'd rather walk. Thanks for the offer though."
"Kat, you're like a 45 minute walk from home." It hurt Leon to realize that Kat would rather walk home alone then suffer his presence for 15 minutes in the car.
"I know. I want the time and the space alone to think." She shot him a pointed look that while he was walking with her she was not alone.
"Let me take you home. I don't want to think of you walking along these streets on your own."
"I'll be fine Leon. I've been taking care of myself for a long time and I imagine I'll be taking care of myself for a long time to come. I handled walking around NYC on my own, I can handle walking home here. I'll see you around." It was clear to Leon she'd dismissed him and his company was neither needed nor wanted any further.
"Yeah, ok then. See you around." Leon stopped following her and watched her walk away. He wanted her even still as he watched her hips sway with her natural grace as she walked. He couldn't help it. She was right though. He both wanted her and was mad at her. But he didn't just see her as the one who got away. He needed her in his life but he didn't know where to take things from where they were. He got into his car and drove home slowly, watching Kat walk home from a distance so that he could keep an eye on her and keep her safe but still let her think she was doing her own thing. She talked to herself and made angry hand motions the whole way back. He chuckled despite himself as he thought that no one would mess with her anyway because she looked crazed and ready to murder.
After he watched her walk into her house he went into his own.
It was clear that he'd said the wrong thing when he'd told her he figured he could have had her in bed long ago if it was really his goal. She hadn't taken it as a compliment, like he was trying to let things move at a natural pace. She'd taken it like he was calling her a slut who would have been easy for him if he'd turned on the charm. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He didn't know how to go on from where he found himself.
Chapter 47 – Almost doesn't count
Leon was pacing around in his room, Nyssa's words circling his head. "Try harder babe. Try harder. This is worth fighting for."
He had been trying. He'd tried hard. But not hard enough and he knew it. But he didn't know how else to try. He still hoped in time things would go back to normal. But he didn't know if they could. But it was coming up to 6 and he didn't want to be late for picking up Kat. He had a funny feeling who the girl who'd made Nyssa come home was and he wanted to talk to a certain blonde about where she'd been when she'd been out of her house all afternoon.
*~*
Kat got dressed and waited for Leon to show up to get her. She was nervous. She wanted to give another chance to Leon and really try to have things be good but she just didn't really see it happening. Something was on Leon's mind, was bothering him, and if he didn't want to talk about what it was then Kat didn't know what else she could do. She was pacing her living room when she saw him back his car out of his driveway and then drive into hers.
"I'm goin out guys. See you around 11 or so and we'll head down. Aiight?"
"See you girl." She heard Kale call back. She headed out the door, happy that someone knew where she was. She momentarily hoped that Sean would check over her car for her since she wouldn't have time to do it herself, but if she didn't have time then it wouldn't get checked she figured. The car had been garaged almost all week anyway so she figured it would be fine if it didn't get checked. She walked up to Leon's car and got in.
"Hey." She said to Leon with a small smile and started to do up her harness.
"Hey. How're you?" Leon asked, watching her for any sign of nervousness. He figured if she'd run into Nyssa and told her stuff, Kat would be feeling guilty.
"I'm good. I feel like I wasted the day doin nothin but other then that I'm good. How're you?"
"I'm good. Vince's girl came home today." Leon started, wondering how Kat would react if she'd had a hand in Nyssa's sudden arrival back with the team.
"Really? That's great." Kat smiled in genuine happiness for Vince. He'd missed his girl so much; Kat knew he'd be thrilled to have her home. Kat hadn't expected Nyssa to work so fast. Kat wondered if Nyssa had told Leon why she came home. She figured not since he as acting like she shouldn't know anything about it.
"It is great. I really missed her. She's such a nice girl. I know Vince missed her a lot too. He was always all miserable'n shit without her." Leon watched the road a little too carefully.
Kat could tell he was trying to act innocent when he was not. It was likely he was trying to lead her into telling him that she'd spoken to Nyssa. Kat figured that he didn't know who Nyssa had spoken to and he was trying to find out. He must have his suspicions it was her. She decided not to tell him and to try and throw him off. She didn't know why but his dancing around the issue instead of just asking her if she'd spoken to Nyssa pissed her off.
"Maybe Vinnie'll introduce me to her tonight if they go to races then. I've heard so much about her from Vince and you that I can't wait to see if she lives up to all the hype you guys have built about her." Kat said, purposefully using her pet name for Vince. It pissed her off that she and Leon were on a date and here he was talking about how much he'd liked Nyssa, how nice she was, how much he'd missed the other girl.
That and trying to trick her into telling him it was her that Nyssa had spoken to.
Leon couldn't detect any guilt or worry in her tone. Maybe he was off base when he'd thought that Kat must have been the one to talk Nyssa into coming home. He decided to be less subtle. "She said she was talking to some girl who knew Vince real well and I figured it must have been you."
"Nope. It wasn't me." Kat lied so smoothly she almost surprised herself.
"Really? I don't know who else it would have been then. It's pretty strange."
"Why is it important to you Leon? I mean I'm not sayin it was me but why do you care so much? She's home. Why does it matter why she came back?"
"It doesn't. I was just curious. More because who ever convinced her to come back deserves a big thank you from the rest of my team and from Vince."
"Yeah, and if Nyssa tells Vince why she came back then Vince can thank the person. Did you ask me out to interrogate me about Vince's girlfriend?" Kat was getting a bit fed up with Leon's obsession with something that was essentially none of his business.
"No. It was just something interesting that happened today." Leon answered her back in a sharper tone then he would have liked to have used.
"Then why not just tell me about it? Why did it have to be like some sort of accusation? Jesus. So what if I did run into her and talk to her. What's it to you? And if I didn't see her and I told you I didn't would you believe me?" Kat asked with a very angry look on her face. It didn't improve when Leon hesitated to answer her. "So I guess that's my answer huh? No matter what it's over or what I tell you, you still have to ask yourself if I'm telling you the truth or not. I could tell you I saw her and we talked or I could tell you I never saw the girl before in my life and you'd have to wonder if I was lying to you or not in either case." Kat sat back in her seat with a huff. She was incredibly angry and upset.
"That's not true. It was just the way Nyssa looked at me and the way she talked about the girl she met. It was like she knew you. I just figured based on some stuff she said to me this afternoon that you must have been the girl she met." Leon really wanted to know if Kat had told Nyssa all about their troubles and what he'd said to Kat when they'd broken up.
"Yeah, but I told you back when you first picked me up that I hoped V would introduce me to her soon. I doubt very much I'd require an intro if I'd met the girl already." Kat felt mildly bad about lying to Leon but it was mostly eclipsed by the fact he'd basically called her a liar and the fact that he had no trust for her at all. They pulled into the local diner and Kat was out of the car as soon as it stopped moving. She didn't know if she was going to be able to be around Leon long enough to eat and see a movie. She felt she had a lot to think about and she didn't know if she could do it with him around. Plus she was just so mad.
She didn't wait for Leon to exit his car she just headed for the door.
"Hey Kat, wait up." Leon called after her. She stopped and turned around to wait for him with a frown. "I wasn't trying to be rude." He tried to diffuse the situation.
"No, you were trying to call me a liar. Mission accomplished." Kat snapped back.
"I wasn't trying to call you a liar either. I was just trying to figure out who she was talking to. If it wasn't you then I don't know who it would be. I was really hoping that who ever it was has the good sense not to tell her about the night that you and Vince almost became more then friends." Leon looked irate when he brought up the night that Kat and Vince had disappeared together.
"Well, unless you or Vince have been telling people about that no one else knows." Kat retorted with a hiss. They were still standing out front of the restaurant. Kat had foolishly believed Leon when he'd told her he was over that incident. It seemed that he'd lied to her about that and he was no where near over it.
"No one knows? Just the 100 or so people that were at my house that night Kat. Shit, you think they were all blind?" Leon drawled out sarcastically.
"They didn't see anything happen that wouldn't happen at any club in the city and I did nothing to be ashamed of." Kat almost yelled back at Leon. She was sick of being made to feel guilty over things that she'd said sorry for what felt like a hundred times over and that she'd been told she was forgiven for as well. Plus while she felt mildly bad about how far things had gone she really didn't think she'd done anything that she needed to beg a thousand pardons for either.
"You almost had sex with my best friend right after we split up and you did nothing to be ashamed of?" Leon raised his voice as he asked.
"So, the truth comes out. You think I should fall on my knees and beg your forgiveness for that and everything else again don't you?"
Leon had a look of righteous anger on his face. Kat was about to disabuse him of the notion he had anything to feel righteous over. She'd taken all she could take and apologized way too many times to do it even one more time. She continued in a sarcastic vein.
"Well guess what? We were broken up by that night and you were the one who left me. Vince was single. I didn't do anything wrong and you were the one who decided you wanted to try again. I'd have to wonder why when you obviously think I'm some sort of lying slut." Kat screamed and turned. She then started to stalk off down the street, hair swinging from side to side with her violent gait.
Leon sighed. This wasn't where he'd seen the evening going. He'd meant what he'd told Nyssa. He'd planned on working harder at making up with Kat, with pushing the lingering feelings of anger and resentment aside. But yet there he was fighting with her in public. It made it worse to realize she was at least partially correct. He did watch her for signs of lying and he hadn't really gotten over the fact she'd almost slept with Vince. He couldn't just let her walk away.
"Kat wait." He ran after her. She kept walking. He ran up behind her and asked again. "Wait, please." She stopped walking. He touched her shoulder and she shrugged him off.
"I deserved that Kat. I didn't come out with you to fight. I'm sorry I messed up. I didn't mean to make you feel any of the ways you told me that I make you feel and I'm sorry." She didn't turn to look at him. "I guess we do have some issues to work out."
"Yeah, and while you do I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other anymore." Kat said and sniffled, looking at her feet.
"So you're breaking up with me?" Leon asked, incredulous.
Kat thought he sounded incredulous, like he couldn't believe she'd do such a thing.
"Yeah, I guess I am. I really can't take it anymore Leon and it's not fair for you to ask me to. You obviously still hate me for what I did and no matter how hard you try to make it seem like you don't so that you can get in my pants I can still tell you're mad at me three quarters of the time and the other quarter you're just scheming on how you can get me in bed." Kat had finally put her finger on what had been bothering her about Leon and that was it. She'd been picking up on his anger. She could tell he was still angry about everything and he couldn't move past it. Kat couldn't pretend not to know any longer. She'd been lying to herself about it too, and it had to stop.
Leon was slightly floored that she'd realized that he was mad at her over everything by times. He'd thought that he'd done a good job of hiding it.
"I don't hate you Kat. Sometimes I still feel a bit mad about things is all. We can work through it. We don't need to break up. We can just try to take things slow. I'm not just trying to get you into bed. If I was I would've done something about it long ago, back before I figured everything out."
"We tried to take it slow and it still spiralled out of control Leon. We tried to make things work but it just got worse. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't think we have issues to work through I think you do and if I try to stick around and wait while you work them out it's just going to drive me crazy. You need to figure out what you really want and what's realistic for you to have. If I fit into your life when you have that figured out let me know. Till then I think we need to go separate ways."
"What do you mean what I want and what's realistic for me to have?"
"I mean do you want us to be together or did you just get back with me because you figured you were close to getting me in bed and you wanted another chance to finish what you started? One is realistic and could have happened. The other is never going to happen. That's what I mean. You can have me in your life but only when you're ready to show me that you're really over everything and you really want a relationship with me, not that you see me as the one who got away."
"That was never part of it Kat. I guess I was just madder about what happened then I let myself admit to. I mean it when I say I never just wanted to get you into bed. I've just gotten girls into bed before and I mean it when I tell you if that was what I wanted it would have happened already." Leon was getting mad that she was thinking that he was only trying to take her to bed when he'd taken things slow with her to the best of his ability.
"You can be mad all you want Leon. You just can't be mad about it all and still have me in your life. I can't do it. If you ever think you're really ready to try again then you know where I live. Oh, and no matter what you did if I hadn't really cared about you, you never would have gotten me into your bed. I'm not that kind of girl and I never will be." With that said, and a dismissive hand gesture, Kat spun on her heel and started to walk away, tears in her eyes that Leon thought he could have used her if he'd wanted to.
"Where are you going?" Leon asked her, jogging along behind her.
"Home."
"I'll take you home, you don't have to walk."
"I'd rather walk. Thanks for the offer though."
"Kat, you're like a 45 minute walk from home." It hurt Leon to realize that Kat would rather walk home alone then suffer his presence for 15 minutes in the car.
"I know. I want the time and the space alone to think." She shot him a pointed look that while he was walking with her she was not alone.
"Let me take you home. I don't want to think of you walking along these streets on your own."
"I'll be fine Leon. I've been taking care of myself for a long time and I imagine I'll be taking care of myself for a long time to come. I handled walking around NYC on my own, I can handle walking home here. I'll see you around." It was clear to Leon she'd dismissed him and his company was neither needed nor wanted any further.
"Yeah, ok then. See you around." Leon stopped following her and watched her walk away. He wanted her even still as he watched her hips sway with her natural grace as she walked. He couldn't help it. She was right though. He both wanted her and was mad at her. But he didn't just see her as the one who got away. He needed her in his life but he didn't know where to take things from where they were. He got into his car and drove home slowly, watching Kat walk home from a distance so that he could keep an eye on her and keep her safe but still let her think she was doing her own thing. She talked to herself and made angry hand motions the whole way back. He chuckled despite himself as he thought that no one would mess with her anyway because she looked crazed and ready to murder.
After he watched her walk into her house he went into his own.
It was clear that he'd said the wrong thing when he'd told her he figured he could have had her in bed long ago if it was really his goal. She hadn't taken it as a compliment, like he was trying to let things move at a natural pace. She'd taken it like he was calling her a slut who would have been easy for him if he'd turned on the charm. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He didn't know how to go on from where he found himself.