DISCLAIMER: Please refer to Chapter Two
The time had come. Cecilia had been dreading this moment for the last few days. She knew she had to do it. She could not allow any more unsettling nights pass by. She knew that if she did not ask him now, she would never be able to ask.
She had to do it for her father. He had not been blessed with a son to pass along his name; a son who could forever give him the immortality that a daughter never could.
Erik was the only probable solution. She knew in her heart that he was not only the only man she would ever love, but also the only man who would let her do whatever she wanted. He was one of the few who was not petrified of her manner and was content to allow her to speak her mind no matter how against society's rules the action was.
In spite of this, she knew the truth. She knew that Erik would forever be in love with Christine. She knew deep in her heart that this fact would never change. In fact, that notion was the entire reason she did not want to ask Erik. Cecilia had always been a romantic. She had aspirations of a fancy wedding, a loving husband, moonlight walks, and bouncing chubby children running through the countryside.
She wanted the opera house more. She wanted to feel like she had made an impact on the world. She wanted to do something that no other woman of her time was allowed to do. She had endless dreams in her youth of sitting in the audience and listening to the rehearsals. She recalled watching the pretty ballerinas dance across the stage and the decadent costumes in their finishing stages. She wanted more than to be a spectator. She wanted to be involved.
But, how can I tell Erik? How can I tell him that this is my dream? That I will live in a loveless marriage for the rest of my days in order to have this one thing. The one thing that only a man can give me. Would he understand? Would he be offended?
Her heart was breaking just at the thought of it. Sure, she would allow him freedom. He could come and go as he pleased. He could once again terrorize the opera if he wanted. She swallowed and thought about the repercussions of a loveless marriage in his eyes. She knew that she could never let him take a lover. The thought of it drove her completely insane. Cecilia, being somewhat of a jealous woman, could never willingly allow such a thing.
Christine is gone and married. Does that mean that they will no longer see each other? He has not gone to her or written to her since the wedding. Has he moved on? Could he learn to love me?
Her head began to ache with all of her scattered thoughts. She tried to persuade herself that this was the best solution. People of royal blood have arranged marriages all the time and live the rest of their lives completely happy. She could easily do the same. She was of sound mind. She knew the rules of the game. The only problem was, convincing her heart.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. You can do this.
"Erik, there is something I need to ask you," she started.
Erik felt a bit uncomfortable at her statement. Fearing that she was going to inquire about his past or even the other night with Christine, he had no idea what to say.
"I can explain…" Erik began.
"What?" she asked shooting him a puzzled look. She quickly understood what event he was referring to and changed her visage.
"No, it has nothing to do with her. I need you to… to…."
"What is it?"
"You know that I want to purchase the opera house. I want to refurbish it and restore it to its glory."
"Yes, I am aware of such. I know what you are going to ask me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You said you want no secrets between us, right? Well, I was there that day in the opera house. I listened in on your meeting with the managers. I know what you are going to ask me."
"But, Erik…I…"
"No. You have no need to go any further. I was the one who told your ex-fiance that we were engaged. It is because of me that the managers are aware of your potential marriage, and it was this reason alone that they not only allow you to give a down payment, but also attempt to shatter your dreams by telling you that you can never have it without a husband."
"Erik, I know it is so much to ask, but…"
"Cecilia. It is already settled," Erik said with a smile, "Is it such a bad thing my dear? We both get what we want."
If she only knew, how sorry I am. If she only knew, that I think I love her. She cannot know. Not now. Not after what happened the other night. It will ruin everything.
"Just think about it," he began again, "I will have a pretty wife, plenty of room and time to compose, and I get to terrorize the opera house again. You get your opera house. I will sign whatever you need me to in order to get it in your name."
"Erik, you would really marry me? You would give up everything?"
"Well, I am not giving up everything. I mean… you will still get a few little notes from me here and there. I expect to have Box 5 left open for my personal use … and…."
Erik noticed that Cecilia seemed to be joyful and saddened by his sarcasm. He realized that he must have deeply hurt her for her to be so blatantly unhappy about their situation. Erik did not know what to say to her. He did not have the proper words to tell her how sorry he was.
How could she love me? She doesn't know me. She does not know what a murderous monster I really am. She would never…ever love me if she knew.
He held her in his arms and remembered the night she came to him. She knew even then about his love for Christine. He still felt guilty about the poison. Yet, he could not help but wonder if somehow or someway, she had been trying to tell him something. He still did not understand why it was that she masqueraded as Christine. Women in the past had never reacted to the potion this way. Usually they were merely zombies. They were slaves to their passions, but Cecilia was different. She seemed in control…somehow.
"and… Cecilia, will you be my wife?" he said as he once again lifted her chin up to the level of his neck.
She looked at him, sighed, and smiled. What am I getting myself into?
"Yes, Erik. I will."
She embraced him once again as if to allow herself some assurance that everything would be alright. She tried to put it out of her mind and tell herself that this was merely a business arrangement. She would have to fight to place her emotions aside. She must put her emotions aside.
The only thing that matters is the opera house. The rest will be alright. We will be alright.
At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Matthieu was punctual as always. Cecilia suddenly remembered that there was a party to tend to for tomorrow night.