Darkwarrior17: I'mmmmm baaaaaaaaaaaack! I think this one will take a lot longer to get up than the other one. Oh well. Thank you to anybody who reviewed.
Xaio39: You're right. It is PK fire. Darn, that's really bothering me now. Oh well.
Guns and Swords
IX
The End of the First Round
The pipes below the Crazy Castle is a complete maze and it is full of Piranha Plants, fish the size of a small lake, and other things yet to be discovered. It is a cold, dark place, and if you can do anything to avoid it, do it, besides death, though a quick and painless death may make up for the immensely painful one you encounter in the deep pipes. Unfortunately, this is where the Smashers were at the present moment.
"I'ma hungry! Canta we spear one of those enormous fisha we saw back there?" Mario complained.
Ness was growing very tired of this. He wheeled around at Mario and shouted "Look, if you want to go back there and try to catch that monster fish, then fine. But let me say this. We would have been out of here by now if you had just gone with the piranha plants. But noooooooooo! We were to afraid to go that way. We had to run away like morons. So now I am going to make you lead the way. You should know a way out! You're a plumber, for crying out loud."
"We justa go thata way to the right." Mario stated.
Ness stopped. "Wait. What did you just say?"
"We go thata way to the riiiiiiiiight."
"So you've known the whole time? You realize how many times we've gone in circles?"
"I wasa hungry."
"RRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"
"What?"
Meanwhile, under a thick layer of rope, Grothlik was sitting on Yoshi, trying to figure a way out. Since he was not smart and much less creative, he had know idea how to get away. He was, however, accidentally pressing the "Shock Link" button on his remote, and, even down in the pipes the shock signal made it up loud and clear.
Ping!
"AHHHHHHHH! What happened to your hair!" Zelda shouted at Link, who had a static yellow afro.
Ping!
"And that's what we have on Tourney Talk. Coming up next will be Samus and Captain Falcon Vs. Link and Zelda. They will be fighting on Big Blue, an arena from the F-Zero games. This map is very hectic, for you are fighting on top of the race vehicles. If you fall off onto the track… let's just hope you don't. This is the last fight of the first round. After that we will go to the semifinals. Now let's get on with the match!"
Ping!
"Dammit, Captain Falcon you better not lose." Samus warned, polishing her gun.
"Uh, gee, I really planned on it! Of course not! Why on earth would I lose?"
"Because you're an idiot."
Ping!
One minute and forty-five seconds later…
"Let the final match begin!" The Crazy Hand shouted.
Pop!
Samus quickly fired her blaster and jumped back as Link came charging at her. She then used her screw attack and sent Link flying up a few feet. She landed and used her chain to grab Link and then throw him onto the racers below.
"Oh! Link got a little unlucky there!"
"Falcon Punch!" Captain Falcon shouted as he went at Zelda. She suddenly disappeared as Captain Falcon's punch would have landed home.
"What?"
Bam!
A flame ball hit him in the back. There was Zelda standing right behind him.
"Ha! Loser." Zelda said, jumping out of the way of a kick.
Bam!
A fully charged blaster cannon shot hit her while she was in the air. If she was another type of character, she would have survived Samus' blast. But she was a lightweight, and she was instantly sent out of the arena, minus a life.
"If you are a loser you shouldn't call other people one!" Samus shouted to the now distant Zelda.
Bam! Bam!
Slash!
Link had thrown his boomerang and had hit Samus and Captain Falcon, and then came up to Samus with a downward slash.
Wham!
Samus quickly kicked out, catching Link in the stomach. She then hit him again with her blaster and quickly pulled him with her chain.
Bam!
Link's boomerang, in an effort to get back to Link, hit Samus in the back, knocking Link out of her hold and throwing them both onto the lower ships.
Meanwhile, Zelda was constantly teleporting away from Captain Falcon, which was getting very frustrating.
"Would you just hold still!" Captain Falcon shouted, throwing a punch where Zelda had just been standing.
Zelda then actually stopped only a few feet a way smiling at the captain.
"You moron! Falcon Kick!" Captain Falcon shouted, kicking towards Zelda.
Ding!
Captain Falcon's kick collided with the crystal that was now surrounding Zelda. The crystal shattered, hitting Captain Falcon, who was just a few feet away. The crystals did not hurt him too much, but he was hurt enough to be stunned a little bit.
"You just aren't too bright." Zelda said, shooting a fire ball at him.
Captain Falcon lives 2, Zelda 2 also.
Ping!
"Light! It's so beautiful!" Ness shouted climbing out of the pipe into a small mountainous area.
"I'm stilla hungry!" Mario complained.
"Here, eat this red tapioca thing." Ness said, throwing the flat round red thing at Mario.
"Hey, it'sa got a Luigi cap on." Mario said, not even realizing the meaning of what he had just said. "And its got pinkish earsa, and a doctor hat. Hmm."
"Rowroooooar" D.K. shouted, pointing at another of the flat things. This one was dressed in a blue parka, had horns, and a Pichu hat on.
"What are these things?" Ness wondered, picking up a black one with a crown and Jigglypuff hat on.
Suddenly, a stone sitting nearby transformed into a pink ball with painted red stripes and shouted in a cute high voice "Attack!"
Phwaaaaaaaaaaa!
Phwaaaaaaaaaaa!
Phwaaaaaaaaaaa!
Ping!
Little did the leftover Smashers know, but Grothlik had escaped as they left the pipe. How? His race's spit is a type of acid. It had just taken Grothlik a while to figure it out.
"Lousy Smashers, jumping me while I wasn't expecting it." Grothlik grumbled as he walked through the pipe. "Oh well. At least I can have his Craziness send down troops to find them now."
Ping!
Bam!
Link was sent sprawling onto the ship ahead and Captain Falcon jumped after him.
Bamslash!
Link kicked out and slashed at Captain Falcon with his sword, propelling him a few feet back. Captain Falcon managed to land on his feet, until Zelda knocked him over with a forward smash attack. Samus jumped down and hit Link with a halfway charged blaster. She then picked Link up with her chain, turned around, and let Link fall onto the track below. Samus lives three, Link two.
"Give me a second, could you!" Samus shouted to Captain Falcon, who was fighting Zelda at the time.
"No prob." Captain Falcon said ducking as a blow of Zelda's went past his head.
"Falcon Punch!" He shouted, knocking Zelda off the arena and onto the track. "Whoa. Was her percent really that high?" Captain Falcon said, raising an eyebrow.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Slash!Bonk!BOOM!
Link came down on Captain Falcon like a bomb, kicking, slashing, and clawing at Captain Falcon who was desperately trying to claw Link off of him. He finally managed to pull Link off and throw him onto the speeder, but received a few kicks in the process.
"That hurt you eejit!" Captain Falcon shouted at him as he held Link to the ship. Link smiled at him and showed him the glowing red bomb he had been holding.
"See ya."
BOOM!
Captain Falcon was sent flying out of the arena, with only one life left.
Meanwhile on the above ship, Samus was killing Zelda.
BonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBonGBONG! Samus sent Zelda up into the air with her screw attack. Samus landed perfectly and aimed her blaster at the falling Zelda.
"You are one big sucker." She said, and…
Ping!
"Boss? Boss?" Grothlik said to the Crazy Hand, who was watching the fight.
"You are supposed to be looking for the smashers." The Crazy Hand said, still watching the fight. "And I don't want you back until you have found them."
"But sir, I have found them. They got the jump on me and are escaping out of the pipes. Could I please have a squad to go look for them?"
"Fine."
Ping!
"You are one big sucker" She said and…
Wham! Slash!
Link spun up off the bottom deck, throwing Samus a few feet up and then over. He quickly plucked a bomb and threw it at Samus, who had just gotten up. She was thrown up higher this time, but landed on her feet with her blaster aimed square at Link.
"Now you die!" She seethed, and then as she was pulling the trigger (or what ever she does to fire her gun) she was smashed from behind by Zelda. She fired up into the sky and exploded out of the ring.
Little did any one know it, but the shot that she fired kept going until it hit a petroleum tank on the planet Glarglesplart, whose species was at that moment about to launch an attack to take over the Earth. It was blown up by a series of nuclear explosions caused by the tank exploding. Little useless fact.
Back on Earth Captain Falcon was trying to get at Link and Zelda at the same time while Samus charged her blaster.
Bam!
Captain Falcon elbowed Link in the stomach and tried to kick Zelda at the same time. But due to teleportation this was hard to due.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zelda shouted hitting Captain Falcon with a forward smash. The smash sent him flying, but not too far this time.
"mushroom MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!" Link shouted.
"What about them?" Zelda asked.
"No, over there!" Link pointed.
Link dove… Zelda dove… Captain Falcon dove… and
STOMP!
Samus stepped on the mushroom with a fully charged blaster cannon.
"This is going to feel real good." Samus said as she grew bigger and bigger and bigger…
"Oh shit." Link said with sincere fear in his voice.
"Bye, bye." Samus said, firing.
Link waited for the end of his second life. It came, only Zelda's went first. In a desperate attempt to stop the blast from hitting Link, Zelda teleported right in front of the blast, blowing her away. Unfortunately, Samus kicked and knocked Link out, so her attempts were in vain.
"Oh, dear. That was big. Both of them in such quick hits… CAN WE GET AN INSTANT REPLAY OF THAT!"
Samus shrank down to size, and began to charge her weapon when…
BAM!
Link did a flying kick into Samus and knocked her onto the lower cars. He then did a helicopter kick into Captain Falcon, knocking him onto the lower cars as well. Link jumped down with his sword point down onto Captain Falcon, severely damaging him.
POW!
Samus hit him with a guided missile, throwing both him and Captain Falcon onto the edge of the back car. Captain Falcon slipped off but managed to grab onto Link's legs.
"Let… go of me!" Link shouted as he desperately tried to hold onto the ship.
Samus then calmly walked up to the edge of the deck of the ship, and pointed her charging blaster at Link.
"You… bitch… you better not!" Captain Falcon said, clinging onto Link's leg.
Samus ignored him. "Any last words?" She said to Link.
"The… Master Hand… was seriously… wrong…. Heh heh. I never will… like you. Heh heh heh…."
"GO TO HELL YOU BIIIIIIiiiiittch!" Captain Falcon shouted as they were blasted off the cars.
"And the winners are Samus and Captain Falcon! Next fight will be tomorrow at 3:30 pm Ganodorf and Y. Link Versus Commander Keen. Join us in fifteen minutes for Tourney Talk, where we will analyze all of the fights of the first round."
Ping!
"The future is no longer clear." The trainer said.
"Are you saying we might survive?"
Not likely, my friend, not likely at all
Ping!
The squad marched down the pipes, as they made their way to what they thought was the capture of the smashers. What they would get was surely doom.
Darkwarrior17: Ahhhhh… now that I am finished I can tell you. Here's the thing: I can either continue this story for a little while longer, or I can start a new story and continue this one a little later. Review and tell me which to do. I already know what it is about, and it is another SSBM, so don't be worried. It is, however a humor story. So anyway, vote and I will do what you want.
PS: Kirby painted the red marks on. Just FYI.