AN: This chapter deals with some pretty sad subject matter during the last quarter. Just a polite warning that it could be a trigger for bad memories for some. I don't want to say what because it'll ruin it but it's sad. Anyway, thanks to everyone who's still here supporting this story. The end is coming, sad to say but it's not here yet! So read, review. Thank you all.

Chapter 70 – Forgive, But Never Forget

"He's on his way. He's out with Kat." Letty's face pinched a bit in displeasure. She still wasn't sure how to feel about Kat. When she thought of the old Kat she got mad but when she thought of the Kat willing to do anything to get Jesse back she felt guilty about feeling mad. She hated the grey feelings. She'd far rather have just one way to feel about Kat and be done with it.

"Out where?" Dom asked, wondering where they'd go on this night, the last normal night any of them might ever have again.

"I didn't ask and he didn't say." Letty answered with a shrug. "He asked her if she wanted to go before he'd say yes. Like what she wanted was more important then what he wanted or then what we need."

"So?" Vince broke in. "Would it be wrong to be happy they're happy? That he wants to make this night about her?"

"No." Letty admitted reluctantly.

"Ok then." Vince leaned back on his car and wrapped an arm around Nyssa's shoulders. He understood where Leon was coming from. After tomorrow if things didn't go well Leon might never see Kat again. That or he might be burying her days after getting her back. It wasn't what Vince wanted but if he was anything in this life he was a realist.

"I hope they're still happy the day after tomorrow." Nyssa said softly, echoing Vince's own thoughts.

"Of course they will be. Everything is gonna be fine." Vince tried to reassure his girl friend. He always had to put on a brave front for the girls.

"None of this changes the fact that my brother faked his own death and let me think he was dead for two years. How'm I ever supposed to deal with that? This whole week has just been awful."

"I'll deal with it if ya want me to." Vince's eyes lit up at the thought of showing the other man just what he thought of the deception perpetuated against Nyssa in a very physical way. "I'll deal with it real good." Vince cracked his knuckles.

"Beating him up won't help me deal with any of it V." Nyssa frowned. She couldn't deny the part of her that was thrilled her only brother wasn't dead. It was just that the part of her that was really hurt by him abandoning her had a stronger voice. Part of her wanted to see Vince, her champion pound her brother into the ground for what he'd done. It was just that she knew in the end nothing would have been corrected by that act of violence.

"It'll help me deal with it." Vince said, grinning. His grin left his face as he looked deep into Nyssa's eyes. "What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" Nyssa asked and sighed.

"Do you want things to go back to the way they were? Do you want to give him back his car and go build a house with him at the beach? Do you want that life back? Do you want him to go away so you can pretend he never came back? Do you want to stay with us and be on our team, keep racing and living just below the law or do you want to go back to being Nyssa Williams the sister of one of LAPD's finest? You tell me what you want baby girl and I'll make sure you get it." Vince looked earnestly into her eyes. Even if she said she wanted her old life back he'd do his best to make sure she got it. He only wanted her to be happy. She hugged him tight.

"How could you ever think I'd want anything that would involve not having you? You are my life. You and the team. When I really needed someone Danny wasn't there for me. You and the team were. That's what real family is like V. They're there when one of their own needs them, no matter how inconvenient it is or no matter what they have to sacrifice to be by the side of the one who needs them. Danny doesn't get that, not at all. He thinks what he did to me, what he did to my father was justified. All because my dad made a mistake or two and because I was just a little girl. He thought that made him free to make decisions that affected everyone without consulting anyone. But he's my brother. I can't just forget that. But I can't forgive what he did either. And my dad might just kill him anyway and that'll make the whole issue irrelevant."

"You didn't tell Mark yet?" Vince grimaced. That was not going to be a good conversation. Vince had gotten to know Mark Williams quite well since the other man had been released from jail early on good behavior. Mark had taken one look at how Nyssa looked at Vince and at how Vince looked at Nyssa and pronounced his approval for all to hear. It hadn't mattered to him Vince was rough around the edges and not a doctor or lawyer. He'd seen that his daughter was in love and loved and that had been enough. Vince had as much respect for the older man as it was possible for him to have. But the fireworks when Mark was informed his son wasn't dead, but instead had faked his death to go deep undercover with the FBI were going to be bigger and louder then the forth of July. The criminal father vs. the cop son over what had happened to the daughter/sister because of what the cop had done was going to be the showdown to end showdowns. Mark was going to have kittens.

"I didn't really have time and Daddy always knows when things aren't right with me. He's gonna wanna know how I came to know Danny's still alive and what's going on that we ended up in contact with the FBI. Telling him about Danny will have to wait 'til this whole thing with Kat is settled."

"I understand that." Vince looked around and noticed Letty shooting dagger glares at Nyssa, who was still in his arms. "I take it you and Letty never had time to work out any of your issues either?"

"No. I tried but she doesn't want to talk to me. This is the biggest mistake I ever made in my life V. I don't know what to say to her. It's not like she doesn't have the absolute right to be mad." Nyssa lay her head down on Vince's chest. He smoothed her hair and held her a bit tighter.

"No, and she's a grudge holder, but she'll forgive you eventually. But you're gonna have to talk to her for that to happen."

"I can't make her talk to me." Nyssa sniffled. Her continued estrangement from Letty was a very upsetting point in her life. She'd always imagined that Mia would end up her best friend and she'd been shocked to say the least when it had gone the other way and she ended up being thick as sisters with Letty. All they seemed to have in common was Latin heritage and loving men society at large said they shouldn't go near with a ten foot pole. Despite that they'd found they shared much more then that, like a love of speed, family, and bossing all that family around. They'd gone through hard times together before and had always pulled together for each other in the past. But it had often been them against the guys in those days. She'd never had a situation where it was her against Letty before and she didn't know what to do to make it better.

Of course it might be one of those things that you couldn't make better. No matter how sure Vince was that Letty would forgive her after she'd had time to calm down a bit more Nyssa wasn't so sure. She couldn't imagine how she'd feel if Letty had accused her of sleeping with Dominic. She'd be mad that Letty could think something so absurd of her for one thing.

It made Nyssa very ashamed to think that of the two of them Letty'd had the most reason not to trust other girls around Dom but Letty'd never treated Nyssa like that, like she thought Nyssa might go out and sleep with Dom. Letty'd had that kind of trust in her right from the start, even though she was the new girl but Nyssa herself had honestly thought that after years of being best friends Vince and Letty would sleep together. Even though she knew Vince loved her and that Letty loved Dom more then anything else in her world to stay by his side after all he'd done to her and to the family. She felt like she was such a fool.

"I'm an idiot Vince. I don't know if I could forgive her so I don't know if she'll ever forgive me."

"You'd forgive her Nys. You know you would. You forgave me for thinking the same thing about you. It took you awhile but you did. Letty's a tougher nut to crack but she'll come around. Play her if you have to, it's all for the greater good."

"Play her?" Nyssa asked, confused.

"Yeah, play off the 'oh poor me my brother came back from the grave' line. Sympathy points are points." Vince grinned.

"We don't call you Coyote for nothing." Nyssa laughed softly. "You're devious."

"I know. Hey, this might work. I'll make her take you home in her car. You'll have some time to talk then."

"I don't know baby. Me'n her in a confined space might not be such a hot idea." Nyssa cringed at thoughts of what Letty could do to her face in close quarters. Vince looked down, expression unreadable.

"I didn't want to go here girl but Letty's comin out with us tomorrow night. I mean, I hope its just speculation but what if something happens to her? I'm not trying to scare you but if you never see her again do you want to know you never got to make up with her or at least explain to her why you acted how you did?"

"No." Nyssa admitted, a terrified look crossed her face. It hadn't been truly real to her 'til that moment when Vince pointed it out. What if some of her family didn't return the day after tomorrow? What if it was Dom or Letty or Leon who never made it back? Or Vince? The rest of the team would have to be strong as a family to deal with the aftermath. She had to try her best to make up with Letty.

She had to tell Letty the real reason why she'd been so stressed that she'd snapped and been able to think what she'd thought. She'd never found the strength to tell anyone. Perhaps that was why she'd snapped, the stress had eaten at her until it had broken her. Maybe the truth would help Letty understand and maybe it wouldn't but either way Letty deserved the truth. So did Vince, but she didn't want to think about that.

"You mind spinning by home so I can get my car? They kinda depend on me to watch the scanner or at least have the equipment there."

"Yeah, it's no problem." Kat answered and turned off the freeway into their neighborhood. She stopped at the curb of Dom's house. "Race you there!"

"I already learned that lesson girl, you're faster." Leon chuckled and got out of her car.

"Maybe not in traffic." Kat called and put the car in gear. "See you there." She rolled the window up and watched Leon sprint to his car. Once his reverse lights came on she took off.

When she hit cruising gear she took out her cell and called Stacy's. She tapped her hand on the wheel impatiently while she waited on him to answer. She'd left them all day with no idea where she was going after the car had been done. She knew they'd worry about her given the circumstances they were in.

"Yo." Stacy answered.

"Hey, it's me." Kat replied.

"Where are you?" Stacy asked, sounding worried since he hadn't seen Kat since she'd left for dinner hours before.

"I'm on my way to races. Leon's crew wanted to go down to keep up appearances. Sorry I didn't call before but I was outta town."

"Do I wanna know?" Stacy asked.

"I took the car for a drive and we got lost. You guys comin down to the warehouse?"

"Maybe. I'll have to ask Kale. If you see us then we're there."

"Cool. Either way I'll talk to you later baby boy."

"Aiight. Take carea you." Stacy said, letting his concern get the better of him.

"I will." Kat hung up and took the final turn into the warehouse parking lot. She found a parking spot next to Leon and stopped her car. He heard her brakes squeal and turned to face her.

"I got here first?" Leon asked, grinning. "I can't believe it."

"I took the long way and called home." Kat smiled at him, letting him have his win but trying to make it look like she threw their 'contest' too.

"I see." Leon said, acting like yeah right.

"I'm not in the mood to be competitive today." Kat lost some of her good humor.

"Me neither." Both of them looked more subdued when thinking about what they were going to face the very next night.

"It's gonna be ok." They both started at the same time and then laughed.

"Let's go hang with the team." Leon put an arm around Kat's waist and started to lead her over to where his friends were talking to their friends and acquaintances. Kat was dragging her heels, not really interesting in hanging out with his team. She was looking at her sandal clad feet and dragging them across the tarmac.

"What's wrong?" Leon stopped moving and looked down at her, tipping her head back so he could look into her eyes.

"Nothin." She mumbled back, embarrassed. She tried to break his gaze and look away. He wasn't having it.

"Ah, come on. It's not nothin. What's wrong?" He brushed a bit of hair behind her ear. She sighed.

"I'm sorta embarrassed to be here with you and your team." She saw Leon's fill with hurt and realized how what she'd said had sounded. "Oh god no. Not like that." Kat was quick to try and explain her position. "Like after what I did to you here and all these people think I'm a huge hoe and it's hard to know they're talkin about me like that behind my back."

"It doesn't matter what they think, it matters what I think. I was hurt you did what you did but it's over now. You're here with me and you'll always be here with me from now on. Everyone's gonna know that eventually Kitten so it might as well be now." She looked shocked to hear his admission. She liked how it sounded. 'You'll always be here with me.' She liked how permanent that sounded. Like she'd finally belong somewhere.

"You mean that?" She breathed out, still unsure.

"Of course." He kissed her for all to see. "Do you think I woulda spent the night with you last night if I didn't want to be in your life?"

"You mighta been betting on Sergei." Kat tried to make a joke. Leon didn't seem like he appreciated the humor.

"I'm bettin on you baby girl. In everything. When it comes to coming out on top of challenges I don't think anyone else I know is as good at it as you."

"I hope I live up to your trust."

"You already have." Leon told her simply and looked into her eyes. She leaned into him, fighting tears. She felt like he had given her a gift she'd never deserve. The gift of his forgiveness and trust. "Come on, they're lookin at us like we crazy."

"I thought I was." Kat giggled and allowed Leon to lead her the rest of the way over to his team, not dragging this time but walking proudly at his side. She knew where she belonged. It was with Leon. It didn't matter where that was anymore. All that mattered was that she belonged with him.

"Yeah, you are, but in that good way, not the you know," Leon made a circular motion beside his head, "coo coo way."

"Aren't they just sweet?" Letty's voice dripped sarcasm. She'd noticed Nyssa and Vince eyeing her up and she didn't like it one bit. It put her in a bad mood she was willing to take out on anyone who pissed her off.

"Letty." Dom's gravely voice served as a warning to his girlfriend to play nice. "Don't start shit. Not tonight, ok?"

"I'll let her keep her pretty face for now." Letty answered and pasted a sunny smile on her face that anyone who knew her could see was fake.

Leon and Kat reached the group. "Hey guys." Leon addressed his friends.

"Hey!" Mia returned the greeting. "We didn't think you were ever coming. What took you so long after Letty called?"

"Um." Kat looked at Leon and blushed. Everyone groaned, anticipating the answer.

"Ya'll got a buncha sick minds." Leon chuckled at the implication. "Tell 'em what we were doin Kitten."

"I decided to top out my car on I90 and by the time I'd used my NOS and slowed down we were about 40 minutes out of the city. Then we got cops and had to out run them and ended up on I40."

"You topped out the Skyline?" Vince didn't look like he believed it.

"No shit!" Brian looked shocked. He'd never managed to top out his, and he'd tried. He'd gotten scared at 190 and given up.

"How fast did you have to go to do that?" Dom asked, curious.

"It was about 240 I think. My gauge doesn't really go over 210."

"It was too fucken fast however fast it was." Leon added, laughing. "I hope never to repeat it again. Things start to tuck in in anticipation." The team laughed at his implication.

"I don't even know if the car was topped out. I was starting to get worried my tires would fly apart or something so I gave up then." Kat admitted, embarrassed.

The team spilt off into groups to socialize then, Kat, Nyssa, Leon and Vince talking and Mia, Dom, Brian and Letty in another group. Hector came up to them.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Hector." A few of the team answered. If Hector noticed that their greeting was less then enthusiastic he gave no sign of it.

"So, who's racing tonight?" Hector asked the group. They all milled around and avoided answering, none of them sure if they wanted to race, or if it was disrespectful to the missing members to race on the night before the rescue. "What, no one on Team Toretto wants to race?" Hector looked shocked.

"Well, Kat just had a fast run, maybe she wants to try all that new speed out against opponents." Letty volunteered Kat for the role.

"I'm good thanks. I only got half my spray left after my run on the way here." Kat knew Letty's offer wasn't made in the spirit of friendship or out of knowing Kat wanted to race. Letty'd done it just because she knew Kat didn't want to race. "Besides, I'm not letting this one out of my sight now that we finally worked our shit out." Kat leaned into Leon possessively.

"It's you they want Dom." Hector looked at Dom.

"Ok, one race. 4 g buy in." Dom told Hector reluctantly. He figured it was too rich and no one would step up. Hector moved off to see what he could work out. He was back a few minutes later.

"I got two suckers with more money then brains. One Honda S2000 and a Infinity G35 coupe."

"Aiight." Dom also handed his money to Hector and moved his RX-7 to the line along with the powder blue Honda and the silver Infinity.

Dom raced and won, but not with a very big margin. His heart wasn't really in his racing for the first time ever. He had too much other stuff praying on his mind to care about a 10 second race that in the grand scheme of things was nothing. The race of his life was coming and he had better things to do with his time till then then show two silly kids they'd have been better off spending their 4000 dollars on upgrades for their cars before they tried to run in the big leagues again.

The crowd almost seemed to pick up the subdued atmosphere from the team and the crowd broke up shortly after, knowing there would be no party at Dom's that night.

"I need to do a few things before I go home but Nyssa's tired out. Letty, take her with you." Vince ordered his friend when they went to pile into their cars. Letty'd felt something big coming and she wasn't disappointed.

"She can ride with Dom." Letty snarled, giving Vince an angry glare.

"No she can ride with you." Vince growled back and forcefully put Nyssa into the passenger seat of Letty's Silvia and closed the door. "It needs to end Letty."

"I got nothin to say to her Vince."

"That's fine. Just listen to her."

Letty snarled at Vince without words and got into her car, slamming her door.

"I'm sorry he did this. I didn't want to let him." Nyssa told her former friend in a soft, slightly scared, a lot nervous tone.

"Whateva." Letty replied and put the car in reverse, sending it flying out of it's parking spot and then down the warehouse alley. Racer chasers dove for cover out of the way of her flying tires and flashing headlights.

"Letty, can I explain to you why I acted how I did? If you don't want to talk to me you don't have to if you'll just hear me out and if you still can't forgive me I'll understand."

"Whateva!" Letty snapped again and concentrated on the road. Nyssa took that as ok to tell Letty what she had to, just not to expect much in the way of co-operation.

"Well, the day it all went down, the day we did the last job I..." Nyssa didn't know where to start her story. It was still painful, more so because she'd told no one. All her feelings on the subject had been bottled up inside her all this time. "Well, you know the day I came home and found you two together it was about a month after that day it all went down. The day we crashed in the civic. Well. It turns out I...I..." Nyssa started to cry softly. She didn't know how to go on. She figured she'd just have to force herself to spit it out. "I was pregnant when we crashed, about three weeks along."

Letty looked over but didn't say anything. But she was fighting hard not to. Since Nyssa had shown up back with the team alone it was clear there'd been no baby.

"I didn't lose the baby then, but they don't know why. I should have after the surgery I needed to fix my other insides but since I didn't know I was pregnant I couldn't tell them I was. I guess the baby..." Nyssa choked on the word baby. She hated to think of it even though it had been some time since it had actually happened. "The baby was injured in the crash but my body didn't abort it then for some reason. They don't think she died in the crash, just got hurt like I did. I didn't even know I was pregnant at the time. But then when I still hadn't had a period three weeks later I figured something was up and went to the doctor. They tested me, told me I was pregnant and everything looked ok. I told them about the crash, in vague detail and they scheduled tests but said it looked like I was gonna be fine. They figured I was six weeks along."

"I didn't know how to tell Vince. I didn't know how he'd take it so I didn't tell him right away. I was waiting for the right time. A few days later I lost the baby. I had abdominal pain when I was driving home from my father's so I went straight to the hospital. I let you all think I was staying with my dad another night but I was really in the hospital for the night."

"I came home out of the hospital to find you and Vince together. I know it isn't an excuse but I wasn't in my right head. It was a little girl and she was gonna be my daughter and she died because I had to go along and I got in a stupid car wreck. Vince'd be a great dad but now he's not gonna get the chance because I had to go along. And they don't know if I'll ever be able to have kids again." Nyssa broke down in great sobs, never having admitted to anyone that she'd lost a baby, let alone all the guilt she felt over it all.

"It was just that when I came home from losing her was when I needed Vince more then ever and there he was with you. I think I knew that it wasn't what it looked like but I needed him then! He was my boyfriend and I'd just lost his child but he was comforting you! I was jealous and I know that doesn't give me the right to do what I did but I needed him and he was with you." Nyssa cried out, once the grief started it was impossible to stop it. It had been locked inside her too long and now that she'd given it an outlet she couldn't stem the tide.

Letty pulled the car over and grabbed Nyssa to her tightly, rocking her friend and crooning nonsense. Her hurt over a childish accusation was nothing compared to what her best friend was feeling over losing a child. It all was so clear to Letty after Nyssa told her the story. She'd come home in pain and scared and hurt and nervous and found her lover, the one she needed most was already comforting another girl. She'd been lost and she'd lashed out the only way she'd been able to at the time. Letty fought back tears thinking of what Nyssa'd been through.

"Shush, it's ok. It wasn't your fault girl. Women lose babies every day. I know it doesn't make it better but it's not your fault." Letty kept rocking her friend gently and rubbing her back.

"I shoulda known I was pregnant Letty. I should have known. I know that stuff. It's my gift and my curse. I should have felt it. I'm a woman, I was going to be her mother! How could I not know she was there, growing inside me? She was there for three weeks before I got into that car and I never knew!"

"Most women don't till they miss a period Nys."

"I had a friend in high school who slept with a guy one night. The next day at school I looked at her and I knew. I asked her when she planned on telling me she was pregnant. She was like 'I'm not pregnant' and I was like yeah you're not, thinking she was hiding it from me. A month later she came up to me and told me I was right. I knew from the day she was pregnant. How could I not know I was?" Nyssa was practically inconsolable. Letty just kept making soothing noises and letting Nyssa get it out.

"Who'd you tell about her Nyssa? Who'd you talk to about what happened?" Letty knew instinctively saying 'it' when talking about the baby would just upset Nyssa further. She'd lost a baby, not a thing and it was hard to think of that way but it was true.

"No body knows. I didn't have anyone to tell. I'd stupidly alienated both you and Vince in one go and then I just had to get away."

"You shoulda told me! Or Mia. You had to know that I love you too much not to forgive you when you were so upset about something like this Nyssa."

"You forgive me?" Nyssa looked up at Letty, her eyelashes spiky clumps and her eyes red rimmed. It made the violet color stand out even more.

"Um yeah." Letty smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. She wasn't good at being the comforting one. That was Mia's job. "But I do think you need to come clean with V. He has a right to know why you got so upset too."

"I don't know how to tell him." Nyssa wiped her cheeks dry.

"Just tell him. He needs to know." Letty held Nyssa's gaze. "We're here for you but Vince needs to know." Nyssa exhaled a shuttering breath.

"Ok." The girls drove home and walked up the front path hand in hand. At the door they stopped and Nyssa blew out a forceful breath. Letty gave her hand a squeeze.

"It'll be ok." Letty said and opened the door. The team looked up and looked relieved to see the girls enter together, hand in hand. It didn't even shock them that much they were holding hands. They'd been estranged some time, but they'd been best friends.

"Everything ok?" Dom asked them, wondering what had taken them so long to arrive home.

"Everything is going to be fine." Letty said firmly for Nyssa's benefit. "But Nyssa has something to tell Vince, don't you Nyssa?"

"Yeah." Nyssa said timidly.

"What is it baby?" Vince asked, clearly concerned. He got up and took Nyssa's hands in his own.

"You two go to bed." Letty gave them a shove in the direction of the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Leon asked from the couch were he sat with Kat mostly asleep in his lap.

"If they want to tell us they'll tell us." Letty said, knowing it was her place to keep her friend's secrets, not tell them for her. She knew she would tell Dom, simply because he could also keep secrets and he deserved to know why Nyssa had left. Dom would never let on to Nyssa he knew. And ever since the last heist and the aftermath of it Letty told Dom everything and he told her everything too. No more hiding the hurt from each other. It was how they'd healed from the hurt.

The rest of the team stayed home and sat up watching TV together in Dom's living room till late at night, just enjoying the company and closeness. For all they knew it was the last night that all of them would be present for. They'd taken Kat's warning that not everyone was expected to make it home to heart. They just didn't know who it was that wouldn't be coming home.

Kat and Leon gave up first and headed off to his room together. No one was surprised. The possibility that their fledgling relationship might be torn apart by the time 24 hours had passed could not be discounted by anyone. The light was still on in Vince's room but they didn't hear any noise so they figured all was well. Soon after they quit the room Mia and Brian headed up the stairs, Brian carrying a sound asleep Mia. Dom hated the stressed and unhappy look on his sister's face. She didn't deal well with the sort of situation she found herself in now.

Dom sighed and took Letty by the hand. She saw the tired look in his eyes and stood up. The tired look would get worse by the end of the night she knew, once he knew about Nyssa. Dom would take yet another measure of guilt onto himself, thinking because he ultimately let Nyssa go it was all his fault.

It would all be settled soon, but the question was to what outcome?