Severely Deluded

Scene 7

Hermione had never dreaded a class more, including flying lessons her first year. Today was the day they learned about Love Potions, and the possibilities for humiliation were nearly endless.

Hermione clutched her books tighter and shifted her weight. She and everyone else were standing in the hall because the door was locked and Snape was late – highly unusual in any case, but on the day of the Love Potion lesson Hermione could imagine plenty of horrible reasons why.

Further down the hall Lavender was chatting with someone. Hermione could hear her distinctive laugh at intervals but, worryingly, not what was so amusing. Hermione was about to sneak down the hall into hearing range when Snape appeared, carrying a box under his arm. After unlocking the door, Snape gave Hermione a calculating look that made her go cold all over, then strode into the dungeon. She followed, making sure to choose a table as far from Snape as possible. Whatever he had in that box, it would not be improved by proximity.

When everyone was seated, Snape began class. "Since, as most of you know, Love Potions are illegal at Hogwarts, we will not be able to brew them," he said. "However, it is still important for you to recognize Love Potions and their effects."

He didn't look at Hermione, but he didn't have to; she could feel a blush coming on already. But to her amazement, Snape spent the next half-hour lecturing on the critical ingredients of the Love Potion, including the Ashwinder egg (he had a frozen one in the box). Then, just as Hermione was beginning to relax, Snape attacked.

"All this is, of course, useless if you cannot tell when you have been dosed with Love Potion." Snape advanced toward the back of the room. "Miss Granger, do you think you can tell us the symptoms that result from a Love Potion?"

That, at least, she knew. "Feelings of physical attraction, especially if irrational." Oh God. She tried not to look at him. "Insomnia, vertigo, trembling, increased temperature and heart rate." She was a textbook case, of course.

"Thank you, Miss Granger," said Snape. "Can you tell us the physical characteristics of a Love Potion?"

"Translucent pink color, tastes like sugar."

"Very good. And how can you tell the difference between voluntary love and the results of a Love Potion?"

"That wasn't in the reading, sir."

"I know," Snape said. "But I thought you might have picked it up somewhere. It is important, don't you agree?"

"Critical," Hermione said, attempting to stare him down. Of course her face at this point was a rare shade of pink, and she could hear quiet sniggering coming from the other side of the room, but at last Snape looked away as he turned back to the front of the room.

"Under the influence of Love Potions, as well as other magic that interferes with free will, the subject will experience occasional flashes of his or her true feelings."

"Like the Imperius Curse," Malfoy said.

"Precisely."

Hermione wrote that down carefully, adding small squiggles and an exclamation point for emphasis. If only she'd known that three months ago.

"Miss Granger, perhaps you could also tell us what ingredients are in the antidote to Love Potion?"

Hermione gaped, her quill dangling from her fingers. It hadn't been that long ago; why couldn't she remember?

"That wasn't in the reading either, sir."

"I don't care," he hissed.

"I don't know, sir," she said under her breath.

"Tell the class, Miss Granger."

"I said I don't know."

"Appalling," Snape said, stalking down the aisle. "Surely you can at least tell us what happens when the antidote is taken without the potion."

"It induces coma."

"Thank you for enlightening us," Snape said, giving her a look of undiluted hate before returning to the front of the room. He lectured on the properties of the antidote for the rest of the period while Hermione stared down at her half-filled parchment, frantically blinking back tears.

She hadn't cried when he made that unforgivable crack about her teeth, and in comparison this scene was like a pat on the back. So why was she about to betray herself by crying now?

Because I didn't used to care what he thought of me, she realized. Because I didn't used to want him to – not like me. Maybe not hate me.

Apparently, she had been deluding herself.

Hermione left the dungeon as soon as the bell rang, not speaking to anyone including Harry and Ron, who both looked confused. She went directly to the bathroom and cried until her throat ached, thinking vaguely of the last time she'd hidden herself in the bathroom for a similar purpose.

Then, she hadn't wanted to admit that she cared what Ron Weasley thought of her. Now, it wasn't much easier to admit that she cared what Snape thought of her.

It was one thing, and quite bad enough, to admit that her hormones were treacherously attracted to him and try not to show it. But approval (after romance) was the least likely thing she could expect to have of him.

Hermione recognized finally that she had let things get out of hand.

It was all very well to be as sarcastic as she dared and receive a half-smile in return. It was all very well to want the highest Potions grade he'd given out in ten years. It was all very well to be attracted to him in the abstract. But now it was apparent that at some point, Hermione had also unintentionally granted him the power to make her miserable. Therefore, she needed to get him out of her head in order to survive the twice-weekly hell of Potions class.

There was only one sure way to do that. And it was going to be expensive.