Ok, finally, after your long wait (if there's anyone waiting in the first place) I'm putting an end to my sappiest fic ever. Oh, just to let you people know, this one's kinda angst-filled and really fluffy (maybe even beyond that). Pardon me people, I'm just no good with fics, anyway, see you down there folks…

Chapter III: Confessions

"I do appreciate what you said Ban," whispered Kadsuki, trying to pull himself up in a sitting position.

"Are you ok already?" asked Ban worriedly, not commenting on what Kadsuki just said. He tried to help him up on his back but a hand from the latter was raised, telling him to stop.

"It's ok Ban, it's ok. I'm fine," muttered Kadsuki getting more embarrassed at the minute. He felt a blush creeping across his cheeks.

After sitting up, he looked at Ban awkwardly before gazing away and suddenly finding interest in his own hands. Ban, on the other hand, just stared at Kadsuki, waiting for the man to tell him what he came for. He wanted to start up a light conversation so that Kadsuki's entrance wouldn't have a very strong impact on him but it seems he was having a trouble starting one at the moment. Emotions were high, the air was filled with tension and he could sense he wasn't the only one feeling nervous. He can feel his heart hammering behind his rib cage as he anticipated whatever bomb Kadsuki was about to drop off.

He already said he appreciated what he said. That's all. Yeah. Appreciated. Still, Ban considers his response vague. He didn't know if he should still expect anything from Itomaki.

"Ban, I need to tell you something."

"That's why you've invaded my house at this time in the morning, right?" replied Ban, coldness etched in his voice. He knew he was being harsh to the man but he couldn't help it. How he could only appreciate… he wasn't blaming him though, no, he wasn't… but his damned ego wanted him to.

"Ban, I'm sorry," replied Kadsuki, not able to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes ever since he accidentally heard Ban confess his feelings. He was probably looking like a child sobbing right now, but he didn't care. He could feel Ban's anger though he was trying to hide it from him, and this was hurting him more. He didn't know why, but it hurt.

"I didn't want to bother you and Ginji at this hour but I needed to," continued Kadsuki when Ban didn't say or do anything to comfort him. It's not as if he expected anyway.

"It's ok," muttered Ban, looking anywhere else but at Kadsuki. He didn't want to see Kadsuki crying. He couldn't take to see tears flowing from his beautiful face. He didn't want to look at the face of the one he loved filled with such pain. He didn't want to break further his already breaking heart.

"I've… I've been going out with Jubei for the past three months--"

"Since when did you not go out with Needle Boy?" cut off Ban. It was obvious. Itomaki always went out with Jubei, everywhere. Kadsuki shook his head, understanding how Ban felt right now.

"I mean," continued Kadsuki while wiping his own tears with eyes still gazing at his palms. "We've started to go beyond our 'friendship' during those months. It was all going well. He loved me and I loved him back. We were going stronger everyday until last week."

"What happened?" asked Ban, trying to soften his voice. Was this what Kadsuki wanted to tell him? He could feel bitterness and regret in the man's voice. He surely know where this revelation was going. If he could even call it a revelation.

"We had a row during one of his trainings with me. It was about his blindness again. I thought it was just like the ones we had previously. He said he felt so helpless and he was going on again about his being unable to protect me and stuff of that sort. At first, I thought we would be able to settle the argument but then it just got worse. He began shouting and then I could feel his emotions… he felt so helpless, more like he was pitying himself. I told him so many times that I didn't care, that it was alright, that we'd be able to get through it all and it'll be ok in the end but… this time… he refused to listen."

Ban felt fear creep up into him for some unknown reason. He wanted to hug Kadsuki, share his thoughts and his pains but…

"He wouldn't let me comfort him anymore," Kadsuki muttered, feeling tears run down again on his cheeks. He wished them to stop coming. He felt so weak. So alone. So sad.

"He shoved me away," continued Kadsuki, "he said it was enough. He said he was starting to fail as my protector, as my friend, as my lover. He said he didn't want to burden me anymore that's why he was setting me free. But I know he only said that because, he doesn't love me anymore. He has given all his love and the love I return isn't just enough."

That was when Kadsuki couldn't take anymore and broke down in Ban's chest. He clutched his shirt and continued sobbing. Telling the whole thing over again was tearing him apart. He couldn't stand remembering what Jubei had said to him. His best friend, the man he offered his life to, was ordering him to get out of his life. He couldn't take it. He just couldn't.

"Kadsuki--"

"I hate myself! Why can't I make him feel accepted? Why can't I make him know that he is being cared for and loved! He wasn't the one who failed, Ban. It was me! God knows how much he loves me, I can feel that. But I fail to give him mine… I feel so helpless. He wouldn't say those things if my love reached his heart in the first place. I can't… can't take it anymore!" I am so afraid Ban. I am so afraid…

All these words were said into Ban's chest. Ban, though he wasn't an empath, could feel Kadsuki's emotions surging into his head, into his heart. It was painful. He wanted to end his pain. He wanted to show Kadsuki he was there, that he could do something for him.

Without thinking twice, he slowly held up Kadsuki's face and scanned his eyes. Oh gods, how beautiful you are even though you are crying but how I wish you would stop. It's breaking me Kadsuki. You don't know how it's crushing me.

He slowly wiped the tears from Kadsuki's eyes and kissed his forehead. He leaned towards him so that their foreheads rested against each other. He held his soft cheeks as he closed his eyes and whispered the words he had been dying to ask him. He knew it wasn't the right time, but he could feel it had something to do with what was happening between Kadsuki and Jubei.

"Kadsuki," he started, his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you love me?"

Ban, whose face was barely inches from Kadsuki, felt the other man take a deep intake of air at his words. Kadsuki did not answer directly Ban's question. He just closed his eyes and drew away a little. He placed his palm at the back of Ban's hand, trying to feel if they were real. He raised his other hand, and landed them on Ban's chest.

"He knew," Kadsuki said tersely.

"Sorry?" asked Ban, confused. "I don't get--"

"He was blind, but he knew that my love for him was different. He knew that I loved him as my friend. He felt that I was trying to get over that stage but he also knew I was having a difficult time, that's why."

"Kadsuki, you're getting me confused," said Ban. "You said you were going stronger."

"Our relationship was going stronger, but not exactly our love for one another. Weird, ne?" Kadsuki had to laugh at what he said, for it sounded stupid. But then, before he could stop himself, he had pressed his lips over Ban's, causing the latter's eyes to go round with shock. It didn't took long though, before Ban could respond back, Kadsuki had drawn away. He was blushing and was avoiding Ban's gaze.

"Kadsuki?" asked an astounded Ban. One of his hands had found comfort in Kadsuki's waist, while the other was tracing his lips, trying to feel the warmth of Kadsuki's short kiss on it.

"He knew that Ban," said Kadsuki, talking to the floor. "He knew I love you."

Ban could've jumped with joy with Kadsuki's words if his beloved didn't feel so down and sad at that time. He was right all along. Kadsuki did love him. His Kadsuki loves him.

"I'm sorry," apologized Kadsuki. "Are you mad?"

Ban shaked his head while running his fingers on his hair. He just wanted to know one thing though.

"When… when did he know? I… I myself didn't even know," said Ban while cupping one of Kadsuki's cheeks and making him gaze back at his azure eyes.

"Since we first went out together," answered Kadsuki still avoiding Ban's gaze, though he was face to face with the man. "He didn't give up. I didn't too. I tried my best to… to forget you… I tried my best to make him feel I love him… but… he read me like a book. He told me, a week ago, during that row… that he knew who my heart was beating for."

"It was for me," whispered Ban, locking his gaze at Kadsuki who was finally looking at him.

"Gods, I was scared Kadsuki. You have no idea. I thought… I thought you didn't love me…"

He hugged Kadsuki and rested his cheek on the side of Kadsuki's head. He stroked his soft brown hair and drew him closer, as though afraid he wouldn't feel him there, as though afraid that he was dreaming and that there was no Kadsuki in front of him, telling him he loved him.

"At first, I-I thought I could forget you," whispered Kadsuki whose head was resting on Ban's shoulder. "I knew you had no idea about my feelings. Everyone knows and believes it's us and Jubei, so I thought it was hopeless."

Ban was about to say something when he heard Kadsuki gave a little sob. He pulled him away softly from his hug and looked at his angelic face. Kadsuki was crying again. He could hardly hold back his own tears. Hell, Kadsuki was his weakness

"Shhh," hushed Ban while kissing Kadsuki's tear-filled eyes, first the left then the right. "If you didn't love me, I will always wait for you." He planted a small kiss on Kadsuki's nose. "I don't give a damn how long, as long as I know, heaven and earth knows I love you."

He gave Kadsuki a chaste kiss on the lips, telling Kadsuki he was accepted and that he was loved. The kiss was returned gratefully by the latter, the warmth of his soft lips giving Ban happiness beyond comprehension. He felt Kadsuki's hand on the back of his neck, playing teasingly over the skin beneath it. The delicate touch made by his slender fingers sent shivers down Ban's spine. Ha! Ban wouldn't let Kadsuki take full control of the moment. He showed his new found love he was capable. He was certainly no baby in such things.

"I always wanted to do that to you," whispered Ban at Kadsuki's ear. Kadsuki felt his face turn deep shade of red as he heard Ban's words. Ban was crouched over him while he sat at the chair beside the sofa where he was nuzzled under the blanket Ginji brought earlier. Ban reached out a hand to touch Kadsuki's forehead. The man wasn't hot anymore. His fever had already subsided. Kadsuki turned to his side so that he faced Ban, making his hand rest instead on his cheek.

"Ban-kun," whispered Kadsuki. "How odd isn't it? I never expected everything to turn out like this."

"You're not happy?"

"I… I'm happy, but I'm still quite confused," replied Kadsuki while looking at the window. "I don't know how Jubei would react. I really tried. I really tried my best, but it wasn't enough even until the end."

"It's ok, I think," said Ban while stroking Kadsuki's hair. He loved to do this since the man's hair was soft under his touch, like those of a cat's—smooth, soft and gentle to the touch.

"Do you think he'll understand?" asked Kadsuki.

"He should understand Kadsuki," Ban answered. "He set you free. He knew you won't be happy if you continued on your relationship. I think he was just accepting the truth."

"I really don't want to hurt his feelings," said Kadsuki. "I really did try to give back the same love he gave for me."

Ban stood up and stretched a little before sitting at the sofa just beside Kadsuki's waist. Kadsuki sat and rested his head on Ban's shoulder, causing his long brown hair to drape the two of them. Ban felt a little bit itchy but he made no effort to remove the mass of hair off him. He looked at Kadsuki, azure boring into auburn.

"You worry too much," muttered Ban while kissing his love's forehead. "Fate wouldn't have willed this to happen if it wasn't for the good of you both."

"Maybe… maybe you are right," whispered Kadsuki, his voice at the edge of sleep. "Ban…"

"Hn?"

"I'm really glad…I'm glad I met you and Ginji-kun."

"I'm glad too."

"I… I love you."

Appreciated… Nah. Accepted…Definitely, yeah.

"I love you too."

He looked at the pair from where he stood. How sweet they were. He could taste there love from where he stood. Well, he was happy for his partner and for Kadsuki-chan. Ban's happiness was Ginji's happiness. Yet… despite this happiness filing his chest, he felt sickened to see them together. How sardonic fate is.

owari

tadahhh! We're through! We're through! I can finally go back to my sarcophagus. Oooh… I smell a sequel… sighs nah, fat chance. Sorry, that's the best I could fish out from my murky mind. grins evily  noticed some extreme fluff  almost yaoi.  How about deadly angst? cackles madly Anyway, thnx guys for taking time reading this sappy fic of mine… review, review!

gg15