A/N: This is my sad sad sad chapter, just so you know. Major OOC for some characters. (Btw, Reviewer Friend, you won't find out who raised her until, like, chapter 13-ish. I'M SORRY!)

Chapter 6: Death and Coping

"Another day of patrol," Tizzy sighed.

"What are you doing here?" Heero shouted, turning his gundam to face the Deathscythe.

"Duo said I could patrol in his place," Tizzy said cheerily.

"Oh no," Quatre mumbled to Heero.

"Why?" Tizzy asked, "What's going on?"

"I didn't want to tell Duo in front of you," Heero said, "but I hacked OZ's computers yesterday. They are sending their own patrol down in 15 minutes."

"You have to go back," Trowa said, "We can't have you fighting."

"Why not?" Tizzy said angrily, "I pilot just as well as the rest of you!"

"Onna, it is for your own safety!" Wufei said.

"It's too late," Heero said, "We can't afford to fight without the Deathscythe and I hear them coming. Tizzy, you had better be careful." Heero struck the unknowing OZ troops full force. The rest of the pilots quickly chose opponents.

My first mission, Tizzy thought, I will not fail. Tizzy chose to take on a smaller Mobile Suit, since it was her first battle. He fought hard but it was obvious who the better pilot was. Tizzy had him down and was about to finish him off when the pilot spoke.

"Wait, let me find out the name of my final opponent," he said as a screen came up. Tizzy immediately recognized him. It's one of the officers from my father's dinner parties, she thought. She remembered meeting him and how nice he was. "Elizabeth," he mumbled, "What are you doing with the Gundam Pilots?"

"They are my family now!" she screamed, "I will never go back! I have a mission!"

"I'm not stopping you," he mumbled.

"I...I," she stuttered, "Why can't I complete my mission?" She pulled back. The battle was basically over. The rest of the pilots were watching. Wufei moved to finish him off for Tizzy. Trowa stopped him.

"No Wufei," Trowa said, "She has to make this decision."

"Do it, Elizabeth," the officer said, "I came to die. This was a suicide mission. We knew that. But OZ is stubborn. And wrong. End it for me, please." Tizzy trembled. I have to, she thought, Nothing can stop me from completing my mission! She pulled back the green curved blade. She closed her eyes and screaming, brought down the scythe.

"Thank you," he muttered in his last breath.

Tizzy leapt from the gundam and stared at the wreckage. No, she thought, What have I done? She fell to her knees as the horror of the situation hit her. I took his life, she thought, he will never see another day… She broke down crying. She beat the ground and screamed at the top of her lungs. Trowa leapt from his gundam and knelt beside her. He put his hand on her shoulder but she threw it off. "Don't touch me," she muttered, "Look what I have done. What I have become!"

He grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her to look in him in the eyes. "We all have Tizzy," he said softly, "It's part of war. I won't lie to you; you will never be the same. But in that one stroke, that one movement of your hand, the colonies are closer to peace." Tizzy fell sobbing into his arms. Trowa picked her up and began to carry her home.

Trowa carried Tizzy into Duo's room. Heero went to the living room where Duo was.

"What happened?" Duo asked, bewildered by all the solemn faces.

Heero grabbed him by the collar. "How could you?" Heero said coldly, "How could you send her in your place? You knew we had a battle today!" Heero shook him violently.

"Heero, relax," Quatre said sternly, "This is no time for more violence." Heero let go of Duo. "Well Maxwell, you had better have a good excuse," Quatre said angrily.

"Oh my god," Duo mumbled, "The OZ troops came this week. I thought it was next week. Tizzy just left with my gundam. I thought it would be fine. What happened? Is she alright?"

"She's fine, no thanks to you," Heero said harshly.

"Do you remember the first battle you won, Duo?" Quatre asked, "Did you get to see the wreckage?" Duo nodded.

"Poor Tizzy," he mumbled.

Trowa laid Tizzy down in Duo's bed. She cried until she couldn't breathe. Trowa stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.

"Shh," he whispered, "It's gonna be alright."

"No, it won't be alright," she sobbed, "I knew him, Trowa. He was a good person, but he was trapped by OZ's lies. In the end, he wanted me to kill him!"

"I know it's hard Tizzy, but you have to try to not dwell on it," Trowa said, "It's a hard life but you have to cope."

"I know," Tizzy said, "But it's so terrible."

"Shh," Trowa said, "Sleep now."

"Thank you for your help, Trowa," Tizzy mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

Trowa walked into the living room, where the other pilots were. "We need to keep an eye on her," he said harshly, "I'll take first watch, Duo you take second. We'll work it out from there." The others nodded, and Trowa went back to Duo's room.

Tizzy woke a few hours later. Wufei was on watch. "Wufei, what are you doing here?" Tizzy asked, groggily.

"Trowa thought it would be best if someone kept an eye on you," Wufei said slightly embarassed, "You slept for a few hours, so we kept watches."

"Sorry all those emotions really drained me," she said softly, "But it was sweet of you guys to watch me." She smiled at him who just felt even more uncomfortable.

"I was really worried about you," he said shyly, "Onnas like you shouldn't go into battle. I lost my Meiran to battle." Wufei paused and sighed. "I'm just trying to tell you that I know how you're feeling right now," he said finally, softening his tone, "and I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm sure any one of us pilots would understand."

"Thank you, Wufei," Tizzy said softly. She suddenly felt very honored and a little scared. Wufei was the last person she expected to open up to her.

"Well come on," he said, changing the subject, "Let's get you something to eat. It's dinner time and you missed lunch."

"Oh I can tell," Tizzy moaned. Tizzy followed him into the kitchen. Duo was cooking, and the other pilots were sipping coffee. Heero stood up and took Tizzy in his arms.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better," Tizzy said, pulling away. It surprised her that Heero was being so open about his affection for her. Heero embraced her, and then let her go. He smiled teasingly at her shyness.

"Now who's pulling away?" Heero mumbled just loud enough for her to hear. Tizzy just smiled and waltzed over to Duo.

"They are letting you cook?" Tizzy asked with a look of mock fear.

"Under our watchful eye of course," Quatre commented.

"You can't cook very well either," Trowa said, "Before you moved in with us you had never cooked before."

"What do you except from a rich kid?" Wufei asked.

"I admit it, I am spoiled," Quatre said, "But hey if my servants wanted to do everything for me, I wasn't gonna argue."

"I couldn't cook either," Heero said.

"I still don't know how you got by," Duo commented.

"I stole food," Heero said.

"Oh that's classy," Tizzy said with a sigh. Heero just shrugged and sipped his coffee.

"Tizzy I am really sorry about the battle," Duo said fumbling with his braid, "I didn't know."

"Let's not talk about it," Tizzy said, smiling, "It was a simple mistake." Duo nodded. "What are you making anyway or should I ask?" Tizzyasked changing the subject back.

Tizzy sat crying in the living room. It was around 1 A.M. She had dreamt about her terrible experience in battle, but in her dream, it was worse. She kept seeing him, the man she owed her life and unhappiness. Why should we have to make these decisions? Tizzy thought, The life of a soldier is a strange one. You're a hero, but the path to get there is awful. Quatre walked into the room.

"Tizzy, are you alright?" Quatre asked, taking her in his arms.

"I doubt I will ever be alright," Tizzy said, "I know what you mean about nightmares from the war now. I see the same pain in your eyes as I feel in my heart." Quatre hugged her. She could tell he was crying also.

"Then we should cope together," whispered.