Things didn't get any better after that. I didn't talk to Sirius again until the summer. He seemed perpetually busy. When he wasn't in the Gryffindor common room, he was, unexpectedly, in the library poring over some old books like a man possessed. He and James were joined at the hip even more than usual. I was angry at him so I didn't try again. Let him approach me, I thought.
Because of this, summer holiday was a bit awkward. On the platform, he and I just looked at each other silently. Mum gave me a stiff hug and a kiss on the forehead. She gave him nothing. I don't know how he stood it or why he didn't apologize, but that's how it was. And because of his unresponsiveness, he got left out of our activities. Mum took me lots of places that summer, talked to me, and gave me little privileges. I wished Sirius would just come clean so we could share them together, but he didn't. We might have spent the whole summer doing nothing together, sitting in our rooms, nodding distantly to each other at meals, if it weren't for the celebration.
Two very important things were happening to Bellatrix. Firstly, she had graduated, sitting her N.E.W.T.s with excellent results. Secondly, she was getting married. I was a little shocked to hear this, and Mother made certain to tell Aunt Elladora as frequently as possible that the wedding was being rushed. True, Bellatrix had brought her boyfriend, Rudolphus, to the family Christmas party, and his family—he was a Lestrange—was well known to ours, but to be married straight out of school! Well, Bellatrix was only 18!
The wedding was a huge affair. The joining of two ancient and honorable wizarding families was always a big deal and this was no exception. Only purebloods were invited, of course. At one point Sirius asked if Andromeda had been invited for which he received a slap on the cheek from our mother. Apparently he put the same question to Bellatrix and, according to him, she responded with a tight-lipped "who's Andromeda?" That made me sad, but I did have to point out, it was Andromeda who ran away from us, not the other way around. If she loved that Mudblood man more than she loved us, the family could hardly be blamed for feeling insulted. When I told Sirius this, he looked a though he'd been bitten by a snake and refused to speak to me.
At last the wedding day arrived and the hustle and bustle which had taken over our family life reached its peak. It was near the end of the summer, in the hottest days of August. It was the last time I saw Bellatrix for a while.
August 27th, 1975.
The Lestrange Mansion
By the time of the reception, in the late afternoon, it was still sweltering hot outside. Unusually hot, in fact. Which made it hard to explain why I was sitting on a lawn chair on the Lestranges' enormous front porch, shading my eyes from the sun and squinting at Regulus and Rabastan. Rabastan, Rudolphus Lestrange's younger brother, was creating a jet of cold air with his wand and aiming it at his face. Technically, we all should have been inside helping the bride and groom prepare for their grand entrance into the mansion, now that the ceremony was complete. Rabastan was even in the wedding party! But the cramped little room where Bellatrix was renewing her makeup was really more than could be stood.
"That was a nice ceremony," Regulus said conversationally. I wondered if he really meant it or if he was only saying to it kiss ass. Lately I wasn't even sure I knew Regulus anymore. More and more he'd fallen right into my mother's waiting arms, pathetically trying to please her. It made me sick, but he wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. I guessed I'd seen to that myself by having so little patience with him. With a sigh I slouched further in my seat and loosened the bow tie around my neck. My dress robes were almost all black except for the fine silver trimming and I wanted nothing so much as to ditch them and go for a swim in a lake somewhere. With James. Merlin, I missed James! I knew if he were here, I wouldn't be so unbearably bored.
At one point Mother broke the monotony by coming out and offering to get Regulus a drink. "You look so hot out here, boys," she crooned, but she only made eye contact with my brother. She came back with cold pumpkin juice for Regulus, and she even offered some to Rabastan, but as for me, not even an acknowledgement of my existence. I knew this was meant to make me jealous, and although I did feel a twinge of annoyance, I didn't rise to the bait. I waited until she left and stole some of Regulus's.
At last we were summoned to watch the newlyweds prance around the main hall in their finery. I didn't even bother to redo my bowtie. Rabastan was scowling through the whole thing. He was a bit of an ornery bastard, I'd decided, and he was bitter because he'd been snubbed as Best Man in favor of someone "older and wiser," a certain Lucius Malfoy, who was twenty-one. In my opinion, this Lucius Malfoy looked like a snobby prick, and he gave a fairly stiff, snobby toast. I overheard Narcissa whispering to Regulus that "that one's a catch, eh?" As expected, Regulus nodded enthusiastically although he can hardly have cared.
After the toast, we were finally allowed to sit down. The chairs were so hard and high-backed, everyone around the table looked as though he had a stick up his ass. I leaned over to whisper this observation to Regulus before remembering that I was mad at the little prick and stopped myself. Mother took the opportunity to hiss at me, "Fix your bowtie, for pity's sake, Sirius!" Across the table, the groom and his brother were toasting each other with big drinking mugs. Bellatrix was looking proud as a peacock. She gave me a significant glare. The Lestranges were even richer than we were. She probably thought she was getting one up on me by marrying the heir of such a powerful family. I hoped for the groom's sake that wasn't the only reason.
After supper, there was dancing. To be honest, I didn't feel much like dancing as I'd eaten like a horse and had a full stomach. Bellatrix was whirling around the floor in her ivory and silver robes looking like some sort of Ice Queen. Her full black hair was pulled up intricately in a bun so tight it looked like it hurt. Her dark lipstick and mascara made her look bewitching and yet scary. I grimaced when I thought about how unlucky her husband was. He was grinning foolishly behind his stately goatee, his arm around her petite waist. Have fun, you dumb bastard, I thought cheerfully. I was counting on Rudolphus Lestrange taking Bellatrix away from us forever. Then I'd never have to hear her talking about how weak and foolish my family was again. She'd never sneer at James and Remus and Peter, never stare at me with those resentful eyes. It was a joke, really. I'd have given her the bloody inheritance, if only to be rid of it.
I was leaning against the wall, watching Regulus and Narcissa take turns spinning each other around the floor when Rabastan Lestrange set himself up next to me. He looked, honestly, as though he'd had a little too much to drink. "Don't feel like dancing?" he asked me with raised eyebrows.
"Neither do you," I pointed out. I was ready to abandon the conversation right there when I spotted my mother looking my way. I could already feel her desire to march over to me and order me onto the dance floor in the arms of some distant cousin with curly hair and a low-cut neckline. Quite suddenly, I eased over to Rabastan and gave him a friendly smile. Consorting with the Lestranges was an activity she surely couldn't find fault with. Maybe she'd even buy that I was enjoying myself.
"So, Rabastan, quite a party, eh?" I asked, poking him in the ribs with my elbow. He looked a bit affronted at my familiarity, but he nodded.
"You've no idea," he agreed. "Rudolphus's been talking about it all summer. Says your cousin's going to make a great ally." He had a little trouble pronouncing his brother's name without a slur.
"Ally?" I repeated with faint surprise. "What is this, a business partnership? And here I thought we were at a wedding." I gave my companion a wink, although I inwardly detested his turn of phrase.
Rabastan laughed and gave an over-eager nod, his floppy dark hair bouncing with the movement. "Of course, but it can't hurt to get all the intelligent ones over to our side, right? When the Dark Lord arrives, he'll find us prepared."
At that my back stiffened so quickly I almost lost my balance. "Oh, he's coming to the wedding too, is he?" I said, trying to keep hold of the humor in the situation, although it was rapidly fading. I was afraid to say anything else lest he hear my disgust.
"Of course not," Rabastan admonished with a lopsided grin. "But he'll need us soon enough. He'll be sure to hear about the wedding, too. Rudolphus says the Dark Lord won't want to pass up such a prosperous opportunity. And when he comes, Rudolphus will even allow me to be present. If the Dark Lord wills it, of course." Rabastan, who was only a year older than me, looked eager and flushed. "Then, Rudolphus says we can start cleansing the area. Those Muggles won't know what hit them!"
I was beginning to be very sick of hearing what Rudolphus Lestrange had said. "I'm so happy for you," I said darkly. The thought of being newly related to the idiot next to me, even through law alone, was nauseating.
Irritated, I stood up straight and scanned the room for a safe haven, a place away from these bigots and sadists. But as I took in the sights and sounds, a dark, heavy realization settled on me: I was surrounded. Everywhere I turned stood members of ancient pureblood families like my own. In every corner they were whispering to each other, discussing politics and bloodlines. I looked to the dance floor. Even Narcissa, who was primarily concerned with herself, and Regulus, who was just an idiot willing to please, were wrapped up in it. They embraced this outdated, narrow-minded world. And they would all willingly go down with their sinking ship, clinging to the last strands of "tradition" and "honor" and "blood" until they were lost from sight. I wondered how many of those gathered in this place were also waiting to be contacted by "the Dark Lord." How many would turn on me and stab me, the blood traitor, in the back the next time they saw me? Would it be this idiot Rabastan? Would it be Bellatrix? Would it be Regulus? Would it be my own mother?
At that point, I really did feel sick, and I ran out of the cool house and into the heat of the yard. I knew now I would never make peace with Mother. I would never see eye to eye with my cousins. When I imagined how these people would treat Remus, an unwilling werewolf who also happened to be dirt poor, or when I imagined what they would say to James if they heard him spouting off about wanting to be an auror so he could kick some Death Eater ass, I knew that I had already chosen my side and that the differences between my family and myself were irreconcilable.