This was the beginning of the end for me. I can see that now. The rest of the summer was unbearable, what with the relatives coming over to discuss the loss of Sirius. Even I wasn't the least bit fooled this time. Bellatrix came to visit with her new husband and laughingly reminded me of a time long ago when she had suggested the family do away with Sirius and instate me in his place. I thought her timing was tactless. The portrait of Phineas Nigellus detested my crying and didn't visit his portrait frame for weeks. I kept wondering whether he had spied on my conversation with Sirius, and whether he held me responsible.

There was some short squall involving what to do with the Black inheritance. Naturally, Father and Mother argued it should be transferred to me, now the oldest male most directly descended from the ancestors. But Uncle Claudius seemed to think that now Bellatrix was married, a son of hers would be worthier of the title. He said the Black line shouldn't have to descend to the second son of a second son. Uncle Claudius wanted to put the inheritance in his own custody again until the best course of action was determined. It was almost worth it just to see Bellatrix's sour expression whenever people discussed her supposed imminent pregnancy. I don't think she was thrilled to be treated as a baby-making tool. Sirius would have said it served her right. Her husband, Rodolphus, mostly just laughed heartily and stroked his goatee. He seemed to think the whole thing was a tad ridiculous, and I tended to agree but for one exception. It was all taking a terrible toll on my mother.

The constant fighting with Uncle Claudius and Aunt Elladora drained of her energy until she was frequently white-faced and short-tempered. Father wasn't a whole lot of help; he hated to stand up to his brother Claudius. He took to drinking in the corner while Mother screeched over the table at Aunt Elladora.

Shortly after I went back to school for my fourth year my father got sick. It's uncommon for wizards to get sick as we have many antidotes and more resilient bodies than Muggles. Even so, it happened. I had no idea if Sirius had also received letters about our father's illness, but he never said or wrote anything.

So stood things when January of '77 came around, ringing in a miserable new year. Father was too ill to attend any parties and Mother wasn't in the mood. That's how I ended up alone at Bellatrix's party surrounded by distant relatives and other purebloods. But it wasn't really a party as one generally thinks of them. Because this New Year's, Bellatrix had an agenda. One that sealed my fate forever.

Dec 31st, 1976.

The Lestrange Mansion

We were all seated in a circle around a large, sable-colored table, the kind with fancy, carved feet that look like claws. Rodolphus was sitting at the head of the table, as much as a circular table can have a head, in regal maroon and brown robes with his hands clasped over his stomach. The whole effect was a bit unnerving. There was a tickle in my throat, but I couldn't cough for fear of ruining the solemnity of the moment.

"I'd like to introduce you all to a very good friend and honorable man," Rodolphus was saying, gesturing to an older man I'd never met sitting to his left. The man had slightly graying stubble adorning his chin and narrow blue eyes with which he judged everyone in the room. "This is Saladin Kuhn. He has agreed very generously to come here and speak to us about an issue which has certainly been pressing all of us."

The matter I found most pressing just then was studying for my O.W.L.s. They weren't until next year, but I couldn't waste any time if I was to become someone important. I highly doubted Saladin Kuhn was here to help me with my O.W.L.s.

"It is an honor to be in the presence of so many great and noble wizards," Kuhn said in a low, crackling voice. It made me feel proud to be counted among the great and noble. I decided to pay careful attention. "Surely you have all been noticing the sad decline in wizarding traditions over the past few decades, not to mention centuries," he continued. "This, I can assure you, is directly related to the decline in wizarding bloodlines. The introduction of so many foreign lineages and concepts is muddying the formally pristine waters of the wizarding gene pool."

Nice metaphors, I thought with a smirk, but Sirius wasn't there to share the joke with. To my right was sitting Narcissa. Despite her sister's presence, Sissy and I had chosen to sit together to keep one another company. Bellatrix didn't look as though she needed any help. Sissy probably hadn't even been listening, though; she leaned close to me and whispered, "I think that man over there is looking at me. You remember, he's the one from the wedding."

I looked. It was, indeed, the Best Man from Bellatrix's wedding sitting a few chairs down. He was a Malfoy, I remembered. Sissy started returning his supposed advances with a few blinks of her long, blond eyelashes. Well, I thought. He's definitely looking now.

Saladin Kuhn was still talking, now discussing the methods for remedying our current predicament. "I think you all know I'm telling the truth when I say that our Lord, the Dark Lord himself, will be nothing if thorough and exact," he was saying. "If we act soon, the Mudbloods and their filth will be totally cleaned up within a few years. I can guarantee your families will experience a revival of wealth and strength which is still unimaginable to you now."

I could see a lot of heads nodding. It was true, the House of Black wasn't the only ancient bloodline suffering from the effects of over-enthusiastic inbreeding, wars, and financial struggles. Many of the old houses were living on pride alone, having lost all of their material wealth. Kuhn began describing how the Mudbloods were invading the wizarding world, using cheap tricks and governmental pity to steal jobs from their more deserving peers. I wasn't sure about all of this, but I kept listening respectfully. When he covered the part about Muggleborns, and how strange they were popping out of nowhere like that, I had to agree. It seemed almost like some sort of strange mutation, some alien copy of our own skills. I mean, how did Muggleborns even come by their magic? They didn't even know what magic was or how to use it. And it was true that Muggleborns and Mudbloods caused all sorts of trouble for the Ministry with their misunderstandings, misuses of magic, and accidental displays in front of Muggles. That wouldn't be a problem at all if Muggles just didn't give birth to magical children every now and then.

Eventually, there came a break in the meeting. I was allowed to stretch my legs and drink some Butterbeer. The blond Malfoy wizard came to sit by us. "I couldn't help but notice you," he told Narcissa with a formal nod. "Of course, Bellatrix has told me all about you." He pronounced Bellatrix's name as though he didn't exactly find her the most appealing person on the planet, but I didn't really disagree, and neither did Sissy because she grinned and held out her hand for kissing. I decided to give them some space.

Malfoy—his name was Lucius, it turned out—had only been talking to Sissy a short while before Bellatrix made her way over to them. She was wearing a stunning, slinky robe the color of blood rubies and her hair hung straight down like a black curtain around her face. "Oh good, you've found each other," she said dismissively when she spotted Malfoy. "I've something important to say to you."

From my new position a few meters away, I sat up straighter. If Bellatrix had something important going on, I ought to keep an ear open. This could be my chance to be really impressive. "Rudolphus and I, of course we're eager to serve the Dark Lord in any way we can," Bellatrix said softly. I could just hear her. I spotted Rodolphus talking to his younger brother, Rabastan a little distance away. I wondered absently if Rabastan felt the second-son pressure like I did. Bellatrix, meanwhile, pulled up a chair to make herself more comfortable. She continued, "We've not wasted a moment in offering him our services, and he's encouraged us to invite our most trusted family and friends to offer themselves as well."

Narcissa looked vaguely uneasy and Malfoy looked intrigued. I felt a little jealous. I wanted Bellatrix to consider me trustworthy, too. At that point Rodolphus and Rabastan joined the group. "I see Bella has started in on you already," Rodolphus said jovially. He was the only person I'd ever heard give Bellatrix a nickname. Somehow, she'd always seemed too regal, even as a baby. Once Sirius had called her 'Trixie' and earned himself an Unstoppable Bloody Nose. It took a week for the hex to wear off.

"Naturally, you'll earn yourselves unending glory if you serve well," Bellatrix gushed. "Not to mention bringing power and respect back to our families."

"I'd warn you against joining casually, however," Rodolphus laughed. "I don't think the Dark Lord would react well to any unfaithful servants. Why, just last week Marin Tundra found her husband's head on a pike in their backyard, and you can bet it was because he was as lousy a spy as you can imagine!"

I gulped audibly, but I was too far away for the others to notice. The whole rest of the night I was dwelling on that conversation. If any family needed its power and respect won back, it was mine. I thought of Mother and Father cowering at home, lonely and miserable. Weren't they in desperate need of a son who would stand up and do his duty? I really didn't want my head on a pike, but on the other hand, I could do little tasks set out for me. I felt sure that, for my mother, I could do almost anything. As the other guests began to filter out, I approached Bellatrix, white-faced but determined.

"Oh, Reggie-weggie," she said to me, which both killed my confidence and bolstered my desire to make an impression.

"Bellatrix, I've got a very serious request," I said, trying to sound older than fourteen.

"You, Regulus?" Bellatrix asked, raising an eyebrow and regarding me with a mixture of indulgence and dismissal. "Now, what could you possibly need, little cousin."

Before she could laugh at me further, I blurted out, "I want to join up with you and the others. I want to be a Death Eater."