Feelings, Interrupted
"Niles," she unknowingly interrupts my thoughts.
"I'm so sorry, my love," I mumble barely audible and apologize to her once again.
"Don't be sorry. We'll be all right," she reassures me and accepts my apology.
If only forgiving myself could be that simple.
That unconditional.
"You have no idea how badly I feel. I know that I've let you down and if there were any way I could change things… I would march into hell and back…I would…" I desperately try and explain but falter.
"Niles. It's all right. There are so many things they can do these days to help infertile couples, and until then…" she hints, prompting my curiosity.
I lift my head up.
"…I don't see why we can't give Mother Nature another try," she suggests as she unties her robe to reveal the sexy black lace negligee Roz had given her for her birthday a couple of years back.
Daphne starts to unbutton my shirt. She then lays the palm of her hand on my chest and slides it down the path of my scar left by my open-heart surgery that also divides my chest in half. She moves her hand up, coming to a rest on my heart.
How many times my heart had skipped a beat at her touch, or even at the mere promise of her touch. I never second-guessed and knew a touch from her then would be just as sweet as it would be now, but…
"Daphne, don't." I push both her and her hand away. "You don't have to pretend. I am quite versed in how this game works. I played it many times with Maris. I know full well that..." I curve my fingers into the quote sign. "Quote, unquote, your "condition", reason, for loving me is gone."
"Game? My condition?" she echoes and questions, hurt. "Niles, I don't understand."
I slam down on the keys of the piano in mounting frustration, rattling and toppling over some of the unstable unicorns.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" I snap at her, a little more sarcastically and harshly than I had intended it to be.
She wipes at her now resurfacing tears. The diamond in her engagement ring catches the light and momentarily blinds me and pulls on my own heartstrings.
I drop my eyes down to look at my own wedding band that encircles my ring finger on my left hand. The same rings that we had exchanged as a testament of our love and commitment to one another. That wasn't the only commitment I vowed to her that day, I also vowed to give her a child.
Our child…
"You listen to me Niles Crane," she sniffs and returns my attention back to the present, "if you honestly think I have stopped loving you, then don't even bother."
And I failed…
Again…
To be continued…