Fractured Fairy Tales

…"and so they lived happily ever after. The End." Mother concluded the bedtime story and shut the book.

I frowned but at the same time became resolved.

"What is it Niles?" Mother asked her little boy of only five years.

"Nobody lives happily ever…"

"Have you been watching Dr. Wilson on television again with Frasier?"

I vehemently shook my head and sniffed to fight off the forthcoming blood.

"Niles…"

She was onto me and handed me a tissue.

I placed the tissue under my nose.

"Frasier likes him much more than I do, since he's a Freudian."

Mother stifled a chuckle at my admission. She looked into my troubled and pleading blue eyes that belied my joking demeanor.

"So, what makes you think that nobody lives happily ever after?"

I answered her question with a question of my own.

"Is everything okay between you and Daddy?"

I once overheard mother talk about Frasier and myself. That unlike my big brother I was more on the quiet side and was always more perceptive and sensitive to others and their feelings.

She tucked some loose hairs behind my ear in an attempt to comfort both my frayed nerves and me.

"Just take small breaths," she instructed as her mother's intuition had sensed my approaching anxiety attack.

After my anxiety attack concluded, she tucked me back into bed and kissed me on the forehead, never answering my question.

"Mommy…"

She poked her head back through the door.

"Yes Niles?"

"I know what I want to be when I grow up."

"What?"

"A psychiatrist just like you, and I think I'll specialize in marriage counseling so I can make fairy tales come true."

I met Maris and she reinforced everything I believed that nobody lives happily ever after.

After all, Mother cheated on Dad, Lilith on Frasier, and Maris cheated on me as well. Would they have cheated if everyone were living "happily ever after?"

I met Daphne and I started to have my first doubts, and slowly started to believe, maybe people can live happily ever after if they married someone as wonderful as her.

Somehow reality always finds a way to rear its ugly head, and this time was no exception.

Daphne met Donny.

I met Mel.

Daphne got engaged.

I had just been deluding myself.

With my hopes dashed, I hastily got married and instantly regretted it.

In the midst of that delusion, Daphne and I found each other, and we got married.

We were living a fairy tale. I was going to live happily ever after with the woman of my dreams.

I should have known better, having seen it too many times, but I was foolish enough to think since I was with Daphne I was somehow immune and thought it no longer would resurface.

Resurface it did and this time, as they say, it was personal.

Because of my failure, I turned our fairy tale into a fractured one, and now Daphne has, and rightly so, no reason to love me anymore.

"Niles? Do you feel just because you can't give me a child, that it's the end of our marriage?"

I look down, unable to look her in the eye, much less answer her.

"Let me tell you something Niles Crane. Many of my girlfriends are of the mindset that if they don't have certain things, like a husband or children or a lot of money that their life is somehow incomplete. When they talk about these things, I realize just how extremely lucky I am to have found you, and to have your love."

She lifts my chin so she can look into my eyes.

"Niles, I love you and I can't emphasize this enough. Yes, it has been a lifelong dream of mine to have children, but that was before I met you and eventually fell in love with you. I know we can still live our lives together and have a happy and fulfilling life even without children…"

For a brief moment, I almost believe her.

"Niles? Do you feel just because you can't give me a child, that it's the end of our marriage?" she asks me again.

Almost.

I rub my sore eyes that are red from crying and bloodshot from lack of sleep.

I yawn and I decide to head for bed.

I close my journal and set down my pen.

To be continued…