...there are no words. -fireun
"…Lieutenant, what is this?"
"A book, sir."
Colonel Mustang twitched slightly, a movement that was part irritation, part frustration. "I know that, Lieutenant. I am not blind. I was asking what the hell is it doing here and where did it come from?"
"I wouldn't know, sir. I do not make a habit of reading your mail."
"No, instead you make a habit of harassing your superiors when they would much rather take a break from the office for a bit…" Mustang muttered under his breath.
Apparently not quietly enough. There was a distinctive click, right before Lieutenant Hawkeye inquired, politely, "What was that, sir?"
"Nothing. Thank you for your hard work." Mustang nodded to acknowledge Hawkeye's salute, and watched her leave. Now…to figure out the origin of the book sitting, rather innocuously, in the center of his desk atop the usual interdepartmental paper work.
It had a rather plain cover…no signs of tampering or any such threats to his personal safety…Curious, he flipped open the cover.
It is said his howl of rage could be heard across Central, perhaps even further.
Maes Hughes flashed a mammoth grin at Havoc, Hawkeye, and the other collected officers now staring at him in abject terror. "What the hell did you DO!" Havoc sputtered, unlit cigarette falling, forgotten, to the floor.
"I found the peeeeeeeeeerfect book for our dear Colonel."
"MAES!" Mustang roared from his office.
"And I see he appreciates it completely. Well, my work here is done." With a sketchy salute, Maes Hughes ran like hell.
Which was, most likely, in his own best interest, as when Mustang exited the office a moment later, he had one of those Looks on his face, the ones that promised a crispy death to anyone who got in his way.
When he was safely gone, Hawkeye entered his office to see just what had set him off. There was that book, open on his desk…Hawkeye read the title, and a startled snicker escaped her mouth. "A guide book to dating and marriage…Maes, you really do try to get killed, don't you?"