The Chicks Dog the OTHER Fuzzy Dude

Chapter 6: Hanky-Panky

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Needles- Yup, I knew Emma used to be a brunette. I read her mini-series too.

GothikStrawberry- I wouldn't necessarily call the Hellfire Club friendly. Although I agree with you on Pierce, he's an ass.

Agent-G- Funnily enough, Tony Stark is/was a member of the Hellfire Club in the comics. Well his father was. I don't know whether Tony inherited his father's post or not. Sorry, no August. I'm keeping this as canon as possible.

Xavier's-

It was nearing breakfast time in the X-Mansion and Ororo Monroe was going about her usual daily routine of preparing breakfast for everybody. Seeing that the younger students looked up to her as a mother figure (especially those with no family or less than positive home lives) Ororo was more than happy to make breakfast. Besides, it was a much better idea than letting Kitty within one step of any cooking implements. The X-Men hard hardly recovered form her last culinary efforts.

Ororo turned from the toaster as she heard soft footsteps approach and much to her surprise, it was Emma Frost.

Ororo cocked a curious brow at Emma's state. Unusually for the normally immaculately dressed blonde, Emma had a bad case of bed head.

The blonde plopped down onto a chair with a noticeable wince.

'Busy night?' Ororo asked as she passed Emma some coffee in her usual mug with a slogan that read '#1 Bitch.'

Emma nodded in thanks and gulped down her coffee, no sugar, lots of milk, just how she liked it.

'What gave you that idea?' Emma asked.

'Oh, nothing…' Ororo chuckled. 'I trust you and Hank had a pleasant night.'

Emma narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

'What are you getting at, 'Ro?' Emma asked.

'Nothin, really.' Ororo replied, turning her back to conceal her obvious amusement at Emma's state.

'Ro, don't lie to a telepath.' Emma sighed. 'It's demeaning.'

Ororo gripped the edge of the counter for support as her body started to convulse with concealed laughter.

'Oh grow up.' Emma sighed. 'So what if I am a bit sore from shagging Hank's brains out? Is that such a bad thing?'

'Hunh. I never knew McCoy had it in him.' A newly arrived Logan piped up.

Emma let out a yelp of surprise and spilt her coffee all over her lap.

'Oh bloody hell!' She hissed. 'I just had this nightie cleaned.'

'I kinda doubt that ya spent most o' last night wearin' that thing. Frosty.' Logan snickered. 'You an' Hank could wake the dead with yer lovemakin'.'

Emma got up and shot the feral Canadian with a glare that could cut through steel, or adamantium in this case.

'Oh shut up, you… stupid, stupid man.' Emma sniffed as she tilted her nose in the air and sauntered away.

'Sod it.' Emma hissed as she slunk away. 'Damn Little Hank for being not-so little…'

A few hours later-

Breakfast had been over for several hours now and it was time for Sharon to continue her punishment for brawling with Rahne.

Unfortunately, Sharon ended up with the nasty task of cleaning the X-Jet while Rahne had the relatively easy task of raking up leaves in the garden.

Sharon muttered to herself as she dragged a vacuum cleaner over to clean the X-Jet's interior. Kurt and Kitty were there too, after their attempts at matchmaking blew up in their faces. They were sat on top of the X-Jet, scrubbing away at all the grime that had accumulated since the last time the X-Jet was cleaned.

Sharon continued to mutter to herself as she lugged the vacuum clearer into the X-Jet.

A short time later-

Sharon had finally finished vacuuming the X-Jet's interior. She lugged the vacuum back out and leant against the X-Jet's side.

'Man, I can't believe how much crap was in there.' Sharon sighed as she wiped sweat from her brow. 'Mr Logan'll go mental when he finds out.'

Sharon was about to put the vacuum cleaner away when a bucket fell down from above her, spilling its contents all over the floor.

'Geez!' Sharon hissed. 'Watch it guys. I'm still down here, remember?'

Nobody answered.

'Guys?' Sharon asked. 'You there?'

Still no answer.

Sharon sighed reluctantly as she turned into her transitional werepanther form and clambered up the side of the X-Jet. She sound found out why nobody answered: Kitty and Kurt were too busy making out!

An evil smile spread on Sharon's face as she changed back to her human form and picked up a bucket of water.

'This'll teach ya.' Sharon chuckled to herself as she threw the bucket over the two lovebirds.

Kitty and Kurt both let out identical yells as they jumped apart.

'Mein Gott!'

'Eww!'

Sharon just clutched her sides as she burst out laughing.

'Oh you are sooo going to pay for that, Sharon.' A drenched Kitty hissed.

'Ja, it's payback time.' Kurt added as he picked up another bucket.

'Oh no, you wouldn't dare.' Sharon said as she backed away slowly. 'C'mon guys, can't you take a joke?'

All that Sharon got in reply was a bucket of dirty water in the face. She picked up a sponge and threw it back in retaliation. Kurt ducked and the sponge hit Kitty square in the face.

'Ha! She got you good, Katzchen.' The fuzzy elf snickered.

Kitty wiped her sodden hair from her face and growled angrily at Kurt.

'Katzchen, please.' Kurt said as he backed away. 'You don't vant to do zhis…'

Kitty brandished another sponge with vengeance in her eyes and the sponge war began…

Down below them, the doors to the hangar swished open as Emma walked in.

'Sharon, you can stop doing your chores now.' Emma called. 'The Professor says that it's oka…'

Whap!

Kurt's throw went wide and Emma ended up with a sponge in her face.

'Eep.' Kurt winced.

'Miss Frost!' Kitty yelped. 'We didn't like, see you there…'

Emma just narrowed her eyes at the trio of young mutants, this really wasn't her day.

Hank's lab, later-

Hank was pottering around in his lab retuning random doodads and adjusting whatcha-ma-callits.

Hank was so immersed in his work that he didn't even notice Emma sidle in to the lab.

The blonde telepath sauntered up to Hank and placed her hands around his eyes.

'Guess who…'

'Tigra?' Hank asked hopefully.

Emma swatted Hank on the arm.

'Wrong answer buster and now you have to be punished…'

Hank's eyes sparkled mischievously as he grabbed Emma by the waist and swept her off her feet.

'You know you're the only one for me.' Hank smiled as he kissed Emma lovingly. 'I would never dream of straying far from you.'

'You damn well better.' Emma replied with a half-hearted glare. 'Because I don't want to do anything that you'd regret…'

Hank just smiled and hoisted Emma on to his lap as he sat down on the edge of his workbench.

'Emma, can I ask you a serious question?' He asked.

'Sure, go ahead lover.' Emma replied.

'Why do you never talk about your family?' Hank asked. 'Whenever the conversation turns to family, you always change the subject.'

'Perhaps that's because my family life was less than perfect.' Emma sighed.

'Care to share?' Hank asked gently. 'Perhaps you would feel better if you talked to somebody about it.'

Emma took a deep breath before starting her story.

'Well, my father was Winston Frost, CEO of Frost Industries. He was a hard taskmaster. He expected the best from his family as well as his employees. I doubt he ever had a loving thought. I bet the only way he was intimate with my mother was when he wanted children. My mother sought alcohol to dumb the pain and spent most of the time wandering around in a daze.'

'Then there were my brother and my sisters. Christian was several years older than me and was the one I felt closest to. He was also gay. I was the only one that he trusted to keep his secret, knowing how our father would react. But everything end sup in the open eventually and Daddy found out. Daddy then showed his true colours and had Christian's lover framed for drug dealing. Christian was so upset that he tried to hang himself.'

'Oh God.' Hank gasped. 'That's terrible.'

'He wasn't successful.' Emma replied. 'Once Christian recovered, he fell into a deep depression and sought to ease the pain with drugs. Adrienne, my older sister, was no help. She was the one that told Daddy in the first place, just because I revealed her secret modelling career. Bitch.'

'Cordelia however, she's a different story entirely. She was the rebellious one. She tried to garner attention by radically changing her image. One week she would be a punk, the next she would be a hippy, anything to get a rise out of Daddy. Not that it ever worked though. Daddy was too concerned with his precious business.'

Hank took Emma's hand in his and gently squeezed it in comfort.

'I'm sorry if I brought up any bad memories.' Hank said soothingly.

'That's okay, sweetie.' Emma replied, smiling gently. 'It felt good to let it out.'

'See, I told you it would work.' Hank chuckled.

'Now what do you say to an early night? Eh, Hanky-Panky?'

'Please don't call me that, Emma.' Hank sighed.

'Okay.' Emma replied. 'What about Hanky-Wa…'

TBC…

Next: Fuzzy Dude's Picnic

Hank and Emma go on a romantic picnic only to run in to an old friend, Sabretooth!