NOTE: I don't know how many people read the author's notes, but I encourage everyone to read them this time. I have something I want everyone to read.

Hakkai was gasping, shaking, not wanting to believe what his eyes had seen.

He felt betrayed.

It was like his insides had been turned the wrong way out.

Like a small piece of himself had hardened and crumbled into pieces, never to be put back together again.

Gojyo stood outside Hakkai's door, trying to sound normal, not rushed or urgent.

'He'll just think that you're trying to give an excuse because you were caught in the act.'

And Gojyo didn't know how many times he had done appalling things to women, or been sly and interested one day only to appear uninterested the next.

But this time, this time it was serious.

When he finally was trying to do things right, fate decided to kick him in the balls.

"Let me explain, you took it the wrong way Hakkai," he said trying to put as much sincerity into his voice as he could though he felt the anxiety drawing up from his soul.

Hakkai gazed at the door his vision blurring, and through the pain he somehow managed to force the words "There's nothing to explain now Gojyo," out in what was almost a whisper.

Leaning forward his head resting against the rough texture of the door, Gojyo just managed to hear Hakkai's reply. And even though he had to strain to hear the words, the effect they had on him was not lacking and he jerked away as if hit.

'There has to be some way to fix this...there has to be.'

As the thought echoed in his mind he still couldn't force himself to put much faith in them.

"I...I thought you didn't return my feelings. And all of a sudden there you are...as if you had a damn good reason to be there."

Gojyo tried to add a bit more confidence into his voice in an attempt to make Hakkai take what he was saying more seriously.

'If I'm stuttering it's not going to help.'

"Like you were a man on a mission," he was silent for a moment, the wheels in his head turning over.

"You were going to tell me that you felt something for me...weren't you?" Gojyo finished crestfallenly.

There was no longer a doubt in his mind why Hakkai had shown up.

'Just go away Gojyo...at least do that for me.'

"It doesn't matter now what I was going to say," Hakkai stated with as much self-assurance as he could.

He was too tired... just too tired to even attempt to lie.

'It will never matter what I was going to say. But it should have.'

"...I have nothing else to say to you Gojyo," Hakkai finished as he slumped down into the covers, pulling them over his slim form and grabbing a nearby pillow.

The words hit Gojyo like a brick; they momentarily knocked the wind out of him.

And all alone in his room, Hakkai tried to smile, just a little bit.

Even though no one was in his presence, though no one could see him he knew he would feel safer...more comfortable if he could.

But the protective mask he called on so often wouldn't work this time, and he was left feeling lonely and vulnerable.

He smothered his tears into a pillow, allowing himself to at least hide the part of himself he didn't want others to see for awhile...just a little while.

No number of tears could rightfully describe the brutal onslaught to his emotions.

'If only I wouldn't have pulled away...I would have been honest with Gojyo…this never would have happened.'

Funny how as hurt as Hakkai was he still took part of the blame himself.

Gojyo could no longer move, his legs didn't obey the requests his mind gave them. How could he?

'How can I leave Hakkai like this? I should be holding him now, comforting him. Telling him it was just a misunderstanding and I don't give a damn about any dumb whore who wouldn't even care enough to remember my name.'

A hopeless desire to do something, anything crawled up into his being but he pushed it away, back to where it came.

'I've done enough tonight,' he thinks.

Gojyo turned around, intent on returning to his room when he heard a sob come from Hakkai's room and looked back desperately, the sound shattering any bit of resolve he had left.

Not being able to take the sound any longer, he left silently and settled in the best he was able.

But sleep would not come, and he spent a restless night tossing and turning, an image of a crushed and broken Hakkai ever present in his mind.

Sighing deeply, straightening his back, and putting a smile on his face Hakkai looked in the mirror.

'Have I ever looked so pathetically artificial?' he asked himself menacingly.

Smoothing his brunette locks absently he thought firmly 'it's just going to have to be good enough.'

Opening his door he shut it behind him and took fast and precise steps down the stairs.

Making his way over to the serving area he spotted Sanzo and Goku having breakfast.

'Okay so Goku's having breakfast...lots of it, while Sanzo reads the paper.'

A rather familiar site, Hakkai just hoped that they would take his appearance the same way.

Nodding his head and giving a polite and proper "Hello," he took a seat across from Sanzo and sipped the cup of coffee the waitress handed him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sanzo gave Hakkai's appearance a once over and noticed that something seemed...out of place.

A sudden feeling of annoyance came over him and he could almost taste that the day was going to be hell.

Around his cigarette he managed to ask "Did you wake the idiotic cockroach up?"

Goku practically shoveled food into his mouth while watching the other two converse.

Hakkai suddenly found Goku's eating habits very fascinating.

Answering Sanzo somewhat unwillingly he smiled slightly but his eyes were distant.

"No, I'm afraid it slipped my mind."

Looking sweetly over at Goku he asked "Goku, could you do me a big favor and get Gojyo up?"

A confused look crossed Goku's face and he started "but you always," but before he had time to finish Hakkai looked over at Sanzo, his gaze piercing and heavy and catched his attention, wordlessly begging, pleading.

Sanzo raised an eyebrow but his sharp voice cut off Goku's words as he told him gruffly "Goku now you lazy gluttonous monkey."

Goku looked annoyingly over at Sanzo, "you don't have to be such an asshole."

'Actually I do,' Sanzo thought with a bit of a laugh and watched as the boy got up and ran off towards the stairs stuffing a meat bun in his mouth while grumbling.

While looking out the window, Gojyo heard a rapid knock on the door.

'Hakkai must not want anything to do with me. He must want to make this as quick as possible so he won't have to look at my face' Gojyo deliberated heartbrokenly.

'There has to be a way to save this...if he won't listen to me then...I'll just try to show him.'

Gojyo thought with a bit of a renewed muster of determination.

Getting up and standing tall, he walked over to the door.

At the last second a feeling of overwhelming anxiety almost brought him to his knees.

'Just be calm...just do it. It might be the only chance you have...just take it.'

Closing his eyes tightly and opening the door, he slipped his arm around a warm waist pulling it closer.

Things didn't quite go as planned.

"AHHHH, PERVERT!" Goku screamed as loudly as possible as he jumped away.

For a moment Gojyo thought he had lost all hearing ability.

"You freaky bastard!" Goku spat out while rubbing his arms and shivering, backing away while he allowed his disgust to color his face.

"Next time you feel the need to molest the person waking you up make sure it's the right one!"

Gojyo slapped himself on the face in disbelief, took a deep breath and told him "will do, I wouldn't want to kiss you're ugly mug."

The disturbing incident behind them, they made their way down the stairs.

"Like you have room to talk," Goku said while spitting.

Forget the fact that Gojyo's mouth had not had the chance to come anywhere near him, it was still enough to give him nightmares.

"You're damn right I do," Gojyo assured, but when he reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped right in his tracks staring at Hakkai's back.

He was eating quietly and his head was down, eyes fixated on his plate.

Gojyo took a seat beside him and looked at him, studying his features the best he could with Hakkai's current position.

Putting his hand on Hakkai's arm, he whispered "can I talk to you...in private?"

But Hakkai just moved his arm away casually letting Gojyo's arm slide away, and continued eating, his eyes never even leaving his plate.

'I won't be fooled again,' he thought heatedly.

"I wasn't aware there was anything worth discussing," he tells Gojyo as politely as possible.

Sanzo's eyes skimmed the words on the paper but not one of them registered in his mind.

'There's something different about the sound of his voice...a bit of an edge that isn't usually there,' he realizes.

At that moment he knew that if he looked at Hakkai he would be smiling like usual and his stature would be pleasant, but his eyes...he was certain they wouldn't be filled with adoration like they so often were when Hakkai heard Gojyo's voice.

He was past that now.

'Today is going to suck.' Sanzo mused in annoyance and stood up hastily, ordering everyone to the jeep.

Pulling a gold credit card out of his robes, he held it up to the waitress. As the others stared at him he snapped. "Now cretins!"

They went peacefully, Gojyo looking at Hakkai's form miserably.

Author's notes: I know I've said it a lot the last few chapters, but I'm sorry for being so late. To my credit, I've been without internet access for two weeks, so while I had all the ideas I didn't have a way to post it. I write weird…I just write down ideas, some things I want the characters to say, some things I want them to do, and an overview of what I want to happen…and well that's all. I piece all of that together, stretch it out, elaborate, and finish it up right before I post it. Basically I never finish it completely (and I write most of it)…once again right before I post it. I just can't do it any other way. So I finished the chapter up and posted it ASAP (I've been dying too since all the nice reviews are really getting to me) when I got my internet back. And I'm sure there are people out there screaming "what the hell" because I said this would be the last chapter, but I just couldn't fit everything into one chapter. So you get one more. And I'm pretty sure this time one more is all you'll get. Lol. But anyway, I have almost all of next chapter written so it shouldn't take as long to get posted (I hope). I really…well I hate the writing this chapter but I tried. And while I'm thinking about it, I'm going to start putting up my current update status on my userinfo page. Review please if you enjoyed it! You have a special folder in my email you know, that's how happy they make me XD

TsukiRei1- I've almost convinced myself with my writing that I can't make anything happy. Lol, I'll have to try & remedy that one day. I'm glad you like the story, thanks so much for reading & reviewing!

Shellyraeleen- Stupid girl yes, lol. I kind of made her a bitch at the last moment, but it needed to be done! I don't think I can write anything without a little angst in it; it likes to sneak itself in there.

Render Hellsing Zero- Lol, so am I. Those two are my favorite pairings. I'm glad you continue to read the fic!

Rachel- Thanks a lot! I appreciate you reviewing. I thought the first chapter was rather weak myself…but then again I think every chapter is weak. Glad you liked it!

narrizan- Lol, well I can't just tie everything up nicely at the end of the chapter can I? What fun would that be? Thanks, I'm delighted you like it enough to keep coming back!

lalala- Things just haven't gone nicely for Hakkai…well…this whole fic. But they will! I took longer than expected to update, so I'm sorry about that. But I hope you enjoy this chapter!

littlefreeze- It's okay, I'm lazy too. Lol, but thank you so much for reviewing! I enjoy them tremendously. You can never have too many reviews; every one is special in its own way, hehe. And well…as it would seem this isn't the last chapter. But I'm hoping I don't screw it up when it comes around next time.

kakasidiot- I LOVE Kakashi. Okay, just had to say that. But thanks a lot for the nice compliment! I know I'll never be able to write the characters like Minekura, but I do my best. And I'm especially glad you liked the Tenpou/Kenren stuff, this was my first time writing them.

Karone Richardson- I'm surprised that so many people are reading it & liking it! But yes, that girl is very much a bitch. And…well my stories usually have happy endings. Not every one, but usually. And believe me, this one will. Lol, I try not to be mean but I can't help it sometimes. And I'm glad you like the Tenpou/Kenren stuff because I added it in kind of…on a whim. I couldn't resist! I liked the idea of Sanzo having to step in & help even if he didn't want to, hehe. Thank you so much!

Attigah Gensui- Wow I actually made you laugh! That's awesome XD I didn't think it was that amusing. But I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Sorry it took so long, but I hope it's worth the wait!

Kelly- Hehe, I can't believe people think I can write well. That makes me unbelievably happy. I'm just glad you liked it! I kind of liked the ending too…in my own way at least. Thanks for the nice comments!

Miffy-chan- It's no big deal! Don't worry about it XD We all have things to do and get busy at times. Hum…another lady? Interesting. She was basically a small last minute character so yeah…but he will be happy! Thanks for reviewing!

Hakkai-sama- Hehe, I'm glad you're so excited about it! And I apologize that this chapter took so long, but I didn't have a choice in the matter. I'm pleased you enjoyed the Tenpou and Kenren parts too, I wasn't so sure how they turned out but I'll take you're word for it that they weren't too bad XD Lol, and it's okay constructive criticism is welcomed. I actually do re-read before I post…several times. But I know I still miss things, especially when I really want to update quick & I get excited and my brain short-circuits. I'm a bit…well stunned that anyone would actually want my opinion, lol, but sure I'll be happy to read it. Thanks for the review!

Lady of Infinity- Lol, I'm so sorry! bows I know it took too long, but I have a reason… (aka read the author's notes) But I'm really glad you like my sense of humor, I try way to hard most the time. And you're right, it IS too angst, but it always creeps its way in no matter how hard I try. Listen to…each other & themselves I think….maybe even Sanzo (you'll see why next chapter). But anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it, & I hope you enjoy this chapter too.