Okay, so this isn't a real chapter, I hope no one got excited. I don't like making excuses, but in my case I believe I at least am entitled to a few. Lol. I'm terribly sorry that this story isn't finished yet, I was planning to do so much earlier but things didn't turn out that way. First of all, if you've read the authors notes you would know that my modem has been changed two times in the past uh…I think it was 4 chapters (or maybe 3). That really messed me up being without internet. I did write some of this chapter then, but I'm afraid I had saved it in my online journal & had no way of reaching it so I didn't want to continue because I can't remember every part & didn't want to contradict myself. Well even when I did finally get my internet back, I had writers block. I didn't particularly care for anything I wrote & was stuck. Since then I've had some personal problems, one including a bit of depression, & I think everyone can understand that when you aren't feeling very cheerful you don't want to write the happy ending that I have for this story. I was afraid if I tried to write the happy ending I wanted (& I'm sure you want too by now considering all the damn angst I've added to this story) it would turn out horrible & I would disappoint you all. I would rather take longer to finish, than finish earlier & mess up everything I've worked for. If someone told me I would submit something I wrote & it would be liked (neither less well liked) I would have laughed in their face. So thank you, you don't know how much this means to me. Anyway, my brother was supposed to be married right now, and that kept our family busy preparing for it, but guess what! Hurricane Rita hit Texas (of course I live there). We had to evacuate & have been gone since it hit(about a month).We just arrived homeyesterday & have finally gotten back water, electricity, & phone service. We have some damage to our house, the trees off of our house have now been removed & most of the one's from the yard but now we must get the roof & inside of our house repaired. For anyone out there hit by hurricane Rita or Katrina I'll keep you in my thoughts & prayers. I'm lucky myself. But yeah, the whole point of this update is to let people know that I've alive (lol) & I have not forgotten this story or my other one. They will be continued & completed. As much as I hate my writing sometimes, I owe it to my readers & also myself to see them finished. Plus I miss writing; I only wish I had more time for it recently. My account is not dead, & I look forward to writing more Gojyo/Hakkai fics & hope you'll be there to read them. XD I sincerely hope to see you soon. (No this will not take another six months. Yes I'm serious!)

You get a preview though! Or a little bit of one First a note. What I have written so far is subject to change & actually will in some ways because well…this is just the basics, I don't even have too many details in yet. Okay, here we go.

"Sanzo, may I room with you tonight my friend?" Hakkai's beautiful eyes were hurt & Sanzo couldn't say no. "Makes no difference to me, one of you morons is as bad as the other." Sanzo said lazily as he puffed on his cigarette and held Hakkai's gaze for a moment.

Hakkai nodded and gazed fondly at him and was turning to follow Sanzo to their room but Gojyo raced over quickly and took Hakkai by the arm.

Hakkai: "Don't ask me again Gojyo. Just don't ask me for something that I would have give you with every fiber of my being so easily. I've moved past that now…I don't want anything from you, and I don't regret what happened."

'That's right, say it and maybe you'll mean it.'

Gojyo: I know that's a lie.
Hakkai: What if it is Gojyo! What does it matter to you! If you don't care enough for me to keep your hands off & out of some females skirt than I can't have a relationship with you!

Gojyo was desperate now, his eyes wild and uncertain. "If you would just let me explain."
Hakkai's eyes where fueled with a type of hurt anger that Gojyo had never seen before.

"Did you plan this out Gojyo! Did you think I would cast a blind eye to your activities," Hakkai spit out nastily. "Maybe you just thought that as long as I had what I wanted I wouldn't care who else you gave yourself too."

Gojyo looked dumbfounded, his eyes now closed tightly.

"Or maybe," Hakkai continued, "you just thought I wouldn't notice. Poor Hakkai, he's got the intellect of at least two of the Sanzo party combined and he won't notice something when you flaunt it in his face."

And later on…

Almost as he has something on his own mind Sanzo asks. "Do you think it's worth it? Everything you've been through. Even before things went to hell, was it worth all the trouble?"

Hakkai smiles sadly. "If you don't take the chance you might pass by some very important things. Gojyo saved me; he gave me another chance at life. When I didn't have a reason to live, he gave me one. Even though most of my hopes and dreams are tied to my feelings for him, he gave me a chance. He wanted me to have a chance or he obviously wouldn't have saved me. I...I finally figured out that it would be foolish to waste what he put so much effort to give me. Even if...he couldn't give me back anything more in return. I owned myself & him that much.

Sanzo is turned around reading the newspaper and Hakkai says "you aren't even looking at me."
Sanzo: "Yes I am."
Hakkai: "Not directly."
Sanzo: "Are you going somewhere with this? If so just get to the point."
Hakkai: "Maybe you just don't like looking people directly in the eyes...maybe because you're afraid of what you might see."
Sanzo: "This isn't about me."
Hakkai: "Isn't it? You're words leave me to believe differently. It seems to me that maybe you're doubting some of you're own decisions." Hakkai said quietly. And as Sanzo looked at him steadily he finished "or lack thereof."
Sanzo: "My decisions are just that, mine. They don't concern you."
Hakkai: "You know better than that Sanzo. Just a minute ago you were concerned about my own situation. Now you don't want me entering yours. If you have something you want to say or do...then it might be best to do just that other than avoiding it any longer. Because I have a feeling you have some unfinished business to take care of."

And no the whole Sanzo & Hakkai conversation has nothing to do with those two together in any way. Lol.