AN

"I shall return!"

General Douglas MacArthur

Well, I'm back. My trip was boring, and I had only ONE FRICKIN HOUR A DAY to do some writing, and that so late at night that I drove myself to exhaustion. Why? Because my father's a bloody lunatic, that's why. Needless to say, I didn't get much done. I did promise you guys lots of chapters though, so I'm gonna write like a madman for the next week to make up for it. Right after I shake off this stupid jetlag of course.

full details of my trip are available if you want to email me for them. In fact, you can all email me for whatever reason. I like emailing my reviewers. You can find my address in my author profile.

thanks once more to JC-S, and to my wonderful beta Yavinbase. Both of them are completely awesome.

disclaimer: see chapter 1

Chapter 16

Confession

That night, Ginny had another nightmare. Needless to say, they were both rather tired the next morning, and they went down to breakfast rather late.

"We'll skip going to the park today," Harry said around a mouthful of pancakes. "What we're going to do with the pensieve will take quite a bit out of us both anyway, I think."

Ginny gave him a very stern look. "And you had better let me know what all that is about soon, Mr. Potter."

Harry put his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. Relax, I will."

A short time later, they were sitting comfortably on opposite ends of Harry's bed, the pensieves between them.

"Right," Harry began. "You're going to be angry with me no matter how I put this, so I'll make it simple. I told Dumbledore you were having nightmares in the hopes that he could find some sort of solution. This is what he came up with."

She just gaped at him, her face a mixture of shock and anger. "How could you?" she finally managed. "I trusted you, and yet you went and told him?"

He hung his head sadly. "I know," he murmured, "I shouldn't have done it, but I just can't stand to see you suffer like this. I want so badly to help you, somehow, and regardless of my feelings towards the headmaster, he is one of the most knowledgeable wizards in the world. I knew if anyone could help you, it was him."

He looked up at her, a pleading look coming into his emerald green eyes, and her own eyes softened, if only just a little.

"I can't say I'm very happy with you," she said finally, "but I am touched that you're so concerned for me. Now what solution did he come up with?"

Relieved that she wasn't going to murder him on the spot, Harry set about explaining Dumbledore's idea. The pensieve's usefulness was twofold. Firstly, it would serve as a container into which Ginny could siphon some of her more painful memories of Tom Riddle and the diary. While it wouldn't erase them from her head altogether, it would at least deaden them somewhat, so they weren't so sharp and clear.

Secondly, the pensieve would serve as a means of dealing directly with the memories themselves. If Ginny so chose, she could go back and view her own memories from an outsider's viewpoint, the theory being that that would give her some perspective on the whole ordeal. In addition to her own memories, she could also view Harry's own memories of the final destruction of Tom and his diary.

Ginny had been unconscious when Harry destroyed Tom, so she had never actually seen him die. The fact that there wasn't actually a dead body did not help matters in the slightest. Harry hoped that seeing Tom die would give her some closure on the whole business.

"Right," she said firmly, "I'll give it a go then."

He could tell she was putting on an act, like she always did for her overprotective family. Trying to put on a show of bravery.

"It's ok to be afraid," he said softly. "You don't have to pretend you don't care."

"I'm not afraid," she whispered. "You're not afraid. You're never afraid."

"Oh but I am; all too often, in fact. I'm afraid that you or someone else I love will die. I'm afraid that I'll fail; that Voldemort will win; that the world will have placed its hopes on the wrong person. I'm always afraid."

She shook her head in stubborn disbelief. "You don't act as if you're afraid. You never show it."

"I don't let anyone see me afraid when I'm in a battle or some other dangerous situation. Regardless of how much I hate it, people look to me as their 'savior.' I have to be brave, so that they'll be brave. Yet, it's only pretend. Inside I'm as terrified as anyone else." His voice lowered so that she had to strain to hear him. "You don't have to pretend for me."

Her eyes became bright with unshed tears. She seemed to struggle with herself, unsure. "I don't want you to see those memories," she whispered, "But I don't want to face them alone, either."

"Let me help," he pleaded with her, taking both her hands in his own. "Trust me."

She gave a slight nod, finally letting go, trusting him with her deepest, darkest secrets.

He sighed deeply in relief, and showed her how to extract the memories from her head and place them in the shallow stone basin. She brought forth what seemed like an endless amount, and he raised one eyebrow slightly in surprise.

When she was finished, he held out his hand for hers. She grasped it tightly, determinedly, but her whole arm shook slightly. He reached his other hand for the silvery substance in the shallow stone basin, pulling both of them into her memories.

They were inside the pensieve for well over an hour. This completely surprised Harry. He had expected a few short memories, but it was far worse than that. Tom had not only had her go down into the Chamber, but apparently he had also pulled her into the diary, into various memories of his own. None of those memories were less than horrible. All of them featured him torturing innocent people or setting loose the Basilisk on the students.

Harry was not entirely convinced some of those memories weren't actually situations he had fabricated just to torture Ginny. Tom had only been 16 when the diary was made, after all, and Harry had a hard time believing he'd been able to deal out that much destruction that soon.

Still, it had the effect the Dark Lord had no doubt hoped it would. Before long, both the real Ginny and the Ginny in the memories were reduced to tears.

Harry put an arm around the real Ginny comfortingly, resisting, though barely, the powerful urge to take her away from the thing hurting her this way. She had to see this, to work through it.

Tom's tactics simply astounded Harry. The Dark Lord was a master of psychological warfare. He played on Ginny's deepest fears and her guilt for having been the one to cause all the attacks on the muggleborns. After he released her from the diary, he himself appeared, and though he was extremely faint and fuzzy, he was far more than a ghost. He proceeded to tell her in great, gory detail exactly how he planned to kill Harry when the boy arrived. He took a sick delight in informing her that she was the reason Harry was going to die. The boy she had such a horrible crush on was going to die, practically at her own hands.

The memory-Ginny, already weakening from the effects of Riddle absorbing her life force, pleaded desperately with him not to kill Harry, but he just laughed at her.

The memory faded after that, and Harry and Ginny found themselves sitting on his bed once more. Ginny refused to meet his eyes, staring at the bedspread intently, the tears leaking down her face.

Harry reached over and placed a finger under her chin, lifting it up so that she had to look at him.

She looked for only a moment, and then looked away. Ashamed probably of letting Tom deceive her, of breaking down when she saw it all again.

"Look at me," Harry commanded. She did so reluctantly, wide-eyed. He gave her an encouraging half-smile and shook his head in disbelief "You brave, silly, wonderful girl. How have you kept that to yourself for so long?"

She started to say something, but he put a finger on her lips and shook his head. There was no need to say anything. He knew exactly what it was like. He gathered her into his arms, pulling her close and letting her use his shirt to dry her tears.

"The worst was you," she choked out, "Knowing he'd used me to get a hold of you. I thought I'd killed you." She buried her face in his neck, mumbling, "I'm always afraid he'll control me again. Use me for his own ends and I won't be able to stop him. I don't think I could take it if any of my family or . . . you ended up dead because I couldn't beat him."

She knew Harry was the mostly likely target that Voldemort would use her to get to. He was already trying to do so, even if it was just by holding her hostage so he would come after her. That would be the worst, Harry getting killed and it being her fault. She knew then, clearer than ever that she loved this dark-haired, green-eyed boy holding her.

Yet, she was not comforted or overjoyed by this. Rather she felt as though she was being torn apart on the inside, knowing that he saw her only as a close friend; perhaps a sister. Why? Why did he have to be the one she loved? The one who would never love her in return?

His voice startled her from her reflections. "I think I can help you there," he said.

She pulled back from him in surprise, and stared at him wide-eyed, trying not to get her hopes up.

"I can teach you to block your mind," he said, "to hold him at bay. He won't be able to control you. You can stop him."

She didn't know whether to believe it or not. Could it be possible? Yet, she trusted Harry; if he said it could be done, then it could be done.

She looked back at him hopefully. "Really?"

He nodded determinedly. "Really." He paused, took out his wand, and removed a single thought from his head and placed it in his own pensieve.

He asked her slowly, "Are you ready to see him defeated?"

She was uncertain, not sure she wanted to see any more, but Harry put his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "I'll be right there with you," he said.

She relaxed once more, her resolve to face her fears returning full force. She nodded, so he took her hand again and touched the surface of the silver substance.

At first, Ginny stayed close to Harry, shivering at the sight of Tom Riddle and flushing with embarrassment at the sort of things he was telling the young-Harry about what she had written. Young-Harry's fight with the Basilisk, however, seemed to give her courage. Harry, at only 12 years old, had faced Riddle and his sixty-foot snake like a man. Surely she could face the memory of the Dark Lord like more than a little girl when she was almost fifteen.

She gazed at the older Harry in awe when she saw the memory of his younger self defeat the gigantic snake single-handedly.

When the memory Riddle and the diary were destroyed, she gasped and turned back to Harry. In the background, the younger Harry was waking up her own younger self.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" asked the older Ginny.

Harry nodded grimly. "He's gone. He can't control you any more."

Suddenly they were swirling back to the bedroom again. Within seconds, they were sitting once more on Harry's bed, watching each other from opposite sides of the two pensieves.

Ginny could hardly believe what she had just seen. Harry had risked so much to save her. Her. All she had been to him back then was the annoying little girl with a crush on him, yet she had just seen him fight Tom Riddle and a 60-foot snake for her. It was hardly even believable.

And the way he had fought! Ginny knew right then that Harry would never be a peaceful man. He was a warrior, through and through, and from the looks of it, he had been born that way. Before long, he'd be fighting in the war just getting started against the Dark Lord.

"But what about him?" she asked. "What if the, um, real Tom controls me? He's so much stronger than the Tom I knew was. And he's after me now, too."

"That's where I come in," Harry replied grimly. "I'm going to ensure that he can't do that to you again."

She wasn't sure she dared to hope that it could be true.

Harry put a hand on her arm, squeezing it slightly. "Trust me," he whispered.

"I do," she replied. And it was true. She trusted Harry with her life; she would trust him with her soul if needs be. There was no one she trusted more.

For a while after that, they traded some humorous memories to cheer each other up. Ginny showed Harry some of her early childhood. Growing up at the Burrow with six older brothers had certainly been quite an experience. Harry's favorite was one where the twins had gotten very angry with Ginny and bewitched rotten fruit to follow her around the back yard; splattering all over her on occasion.

In the end, Ginny lost her temper and her accidental magic kicked in, sending the fruit zooming back to the twins, who ran for nearly half an hour before Mrs. Weasley was able to lift the charm.

Ginny's favorite memory of Harry's, however, was the one where Harry tried to jump behind the kitchen garbage cans at his school, and ended up on the roof instead. For some reason, she found this to be hilarious, much to Harry's bemusement.

Later on that afternoon, they began Ginny's training in the art of defending the mind against outside intrusions. Sirius knew how to cast the Legilimens curse, so Harry, naturally, did as well. Knowing how to cast it and being able to cast it well are two completely different things, however, and his success was limited.

Eventually, he managed to get enough of a rudimentary understanding of the curse to cast it mildly effectively on her, thanks to one of the books from the library given to him by his parents.

He was certain that there was a better way than Legilimency to 'read' minds, just as there was a better way than Occlumency to defend the mind, but he wasn't sure how to go about learning such a thing, so he had to settle for the more primitive method for the time being.

Ginny, after placing some of her more private memories into her pensieve, tried to follow some of Harry's instructions. By dinnertime, she was completely drained by the lesson and still unable to block even Harry's clumsy attempts at intrusion into her mind.

Harry, on the other hand, insisted that she was doing quite well for her first attempt, and was utterly confident that she would have it down in no time. His faith in her cheered her up considerably, even if she was still doubtful.

The rest of the next week and a half passed in much the same fashion; they would go to the park in the morning to practice their martial arts skills, they would then eat lunch in the diner (Usually Ginny's least favorite part of the day, as the same waitress from their first visit would flirt outrageously with Harry at every opportunity). In the afternoons, they studied in Harry's library and then practiced their mind offensive and defensive exercises.

Harry rapidly grew more skilled with his Legilimency, but Ginny made little or no progress at keeping him out. Harry was still confident that she'd get it eventually. He was sure that all it would take was for him to start seeing some especially private moment and she'd fight back hard enough to kick him out. He didn't tell her this, of course, and she continued putting her more personal memories into her pensieve. It was only a matter of time until he found one she'd forgotten, for it was impossible for her to remember them all. Memories are tricky things, after all.

He felt guilty about wanting to invade her privacy in that way (and he grimaced at the thought of finding her kissing Corner in a broom closet), but he would do almost anything to ensure that she was protected in every way possible, including inside her own mind.

The best part of the day (in both their opinions, though neither told the other) was after their mind exercises, when they would go out to the garden bench and sit to watch the sunset.

Before they knew it, it was August 10th; the day before Ginny's 15th birthday. Unbeknownst to Ginny, Harry had snuck off to Diagon Alley when she was studying one day. There he had managed to find something for her. Something he had agonized over until he was pushing the limit on how long he could safely stay in the Alley without her knowledge.

It was Sirius' doing really that he had even bought it at all. One night, in the Marauder Realm, they had had a very serious conversation about Ginny.

FLASHBACK

"You have to tell her, Harry," Sirius said, out of the blue.

Harry was relaxing in Dumbledore's desk chair, while his godfather was sitting in the slightly less comfortable chair across from him. Obviously, the Marauder Realm consisted of the entirety of Hogwarts and its grounds.

He started in surprise at Sirius' sudden statement, and stuttered, "Wha-tell who-wha-huh?"

"It's not fair to either yourself or her, kiddo," Sirius continued, as if his godson hadn't said anything at all. "Tell her how you feel."

Harry groaned. "Siri! We've been over this before! I don't think I'm ready to do this. I have to know if she still might fancy me before I do anything. If I tell her and she doesn't think of me that way, our relationship will be messed up forever. I'd rather have her as just a friend than us be that way."

Sirius shook his head amusedly. "You don't see it, do you?"

"See what?"

"Never mind." Sirius gave his godson a hard look. "Look, kiddo, you have to tell her. If you don't, you will always wonder what would've happened if you had." A faraway look came into his eyes, and he gazed off into nowhere. "You will regret it forever," he whispered.

"Sirius? What's wrong?" Harry asked quietly. His godfather shook himself, muttering that it was nothing. Harry could tell there was more to it than that, but he dropped the subject.

"I don't know how to tell her, Siri," he said. He had no experience with this sort of thing. He wasn't even entirely sure of his own feelings concerning Ginny. Was he falling in love with her? He had no idea. He'd never had anyone to love and be loved by before, not even a parent or sibling or close relative.

"Just tell her what comes to mind," Sirius said. "I know it sounds corny, but just tell her what's on your heart. This sort of thing has to be weighing heavily on you, right?"

Harry thought about it for a moment and nodded. It certainly was. It would be an immense relief to come out into the open with this. Just tell her what was on his heart? Sure, no problem.

Oh hell, who was he kidding? This was not going to go well. Still, he was determined to do it by now. When Harry Potter set his mind on doing something, it would take an entire army to stop him.

After the Ritual with the stone from his family vault, an entire army might not even be enough to stop him.

"Well then, if it's a burden on your conscience," Sirius said, "unburden it. It's not right to keep this sort of thing secret. No doubt that's what's bothering you. Just telling her what's on your mind should be plenty."

After that, the conversation turned to less terrifying matters than feelings (like facing Voldemort for instance).

END FLASHBACK.

And that was how Harry found himself practicing mind defenses with Ginny on the eve of her birthday, his pocket feeling very heavy with a small, golden heart-shaped locket on a chain. There was no picture inside yet - he thought they'd get one take if she agreed to go out with him - but there was an inscription. It read:

Ginny-

Here's hoping I still hold a piece of your heart.

-Harry

He planned to confess everything to her (how to do so, he was putting off figuring out) and if she admitted to even the smallest possibility of her still fancying him, he'd give her the locket.

He tried very hard not to think of what he'd do if she didn't still fancy him.

He raised his wand and cried, "Legilimens!"

He was watching enviously as six figures zoomed around on broomsticks. It wasn't fair. Mum wouldn't let him fly, just because he was a girl.

Harry withdrew himself from Ginny's mind at that point, her feeble attempts at blocking unable to keep him at bay.

Merlin, it was odd seeing things from the point of view of someone of the opposite gender.

He hoped she could get her mind blocked off soon. Not only because of Voldemort, but because seeing memories from a female perspective was just plain disturbing.

He shook himself out of his thoughts to find Ginny looking extremely frustrated with herself.

"Don't worry about it, Gin," he encouraged her, "You can do it. Just relax."

Unaware that he had practically melted her into a puddle of incoherent goo by calling her by his special nickname, he raised his wand once more and shouted, "Legilimens!"

They were sitting on the garden bench, his arm around her. She softly laid her head on his shoulder and let out an inaudible sigh. It was a bittersweet moment; for while it was wonderful being close to the man she loved so much, it hurt to know that he did not think of her the same way she thought of him. Was she going to spend the rest of her life like this, as nothing more than his friend? Why-

"NO!" Ginny cried desperately, trying to throw him from her mind. She forgot to take that memory out - he wasn't supposed to see that.

Harry felt himself suddenly hurled across the room, straight into the wall. Only the reflexes of a natural-born seeker saved him from serious injury, as he cast cushioning charms at the wall behind him before impact.

He leapt to his feet, crying out exuberantly, "You did it!"

Ginny, on the other hand, burst into tears and fled from the room. The full impact of what he had seen in her mind, forgotten for a moment in lieu of her success, came rushing back to Harry all at once, and he had to sit down.

She wasn't over him; in fact she still had very deep feelings for him, perhaps even loved him. She thought he didn't like her that way, and it was hurting her to be so close and yet so far from him.

After he had ignored her for so long, he had still managed to hurt her when they became friends. Merlin, he was an idiot.

:So much for planning to tell her tomorrow: Sirius commented wryly.

Harry hardly even heard him, simply staring numbly at a knot on one of the floorboards.

:Well what are you waiting for? Get your sorry arse down there and tell her the truth:

Harry jumped a foot into the air in surprise, then came to his senses and rushed for the door to find Ginny.

With Sirius' help, he had already made a map of Privet Drive and several of the surrounding streets. Similar to the Marauder's Map, it showed every person nearby for who they were, regardless of Polyjuice Potion, animagus form, or invisibility. The main difference was that it corrected that problem with the original. Now it not only stated the person's true identity, but it also stated what form of disguise they were using (if any).

It wasn't finished (for instance, it still managed to confuse animagus and metamorphmagus quite frequently) but it was enough for him to discover the fact that Ginny was hiding behind the hedge in the backyard.

He went straight there and leapt over it, plopping himself down beside her. Her cheeks were a lovely shade of crimson, and she studiously avoided his gaze.

Now that he was there with her, the butterflies started fluttering in his stomach. Unsure of what to say, he looked away from her and out towards the horizon. It was nearly sunset, and the sky was starting to turn red. For some odd reason, the little catchphrase about sailors came to mind. What was it again? Oh yes, 'Red sky in morning; sailors take warning. Red sky at night; sailor's delight.'

Sweet Merlin, he was rambling in his thoughts. This was bad. How the hell was he going to confess his feelings to Ginny if he couldn't even overcome his nervousness enough to straighten out his thoughts?

Her voice shook him from his reverie.

"You weren't supposed to see that."

His head snapped around to look at her. She was still avoiding his eyes, but he could see a few tears streaming down her cheeks.

He longed to wipe her tears away, but he could tell she had more to say, so he let her go on.

"I guess I might as well just say it," she continued, "I love you, Harry. I've loved you for a while now. I got over that stupid little schoolgirl crush, and went and fell for you for real the moment I got to really know you." She sighed. "You weren't supposed to know that, not when you don't feel the same way."

The tears were coming down harder now, and she tried to rise to her feet and leave. He reached out and put a hand on her arm. "Wait," he said.

She stopped and sat back down, still not looking at him.

"Look at me," he said. She did so, finally, reluctantly. "What makes you think I don't?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head sadly. She knew what he was doing. Harry was so noble; he'd even pretend to like her just so she wasn't upset. It was one of the things she loved about him, but that was beside the point. She didn't want his pity, and she didn't want him to pretend.

"Because," she said, "I'm not pretty, or smart, or strong. I don't deserve you. You need someone wonderful, and I'm just plain old ordinary Ginny Weasley; just your friend."

"No," he said firmly, "You're wrong. You are brilliant, and funny, and a powerful witch. You have this adorable way of wrinkling your nose when you're amused, and your eyes flash when you're angry."

He didn't know what he was saying any more, the words just seemed to come tumbling out before he could stop them.

"You always know exactly what to say to remind me what's important, and I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world." He reached out a hand and touched her cheek with one finger. "You've always been there for me, haven't you? I just didn't know it. I've been such a fool, Gin, how can you possibly still love me?"

He didn't even wait for her to answer, plunging straight on, unable to stop the flow of words from his mouth. "I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but some time over the last year I started to fall for you. The minute you became my friend, I didn't even have a chance. I haven't been entirely honest with you. The reason you're here at Privet Drive is because Voldemort knows about my feelings for you. I think he knew what was there before even I did."

Her cheeks were flushed so red that they nearly blended into her hair. She cast her eyes downward as he continued. "Sirius has been urging me for weeks to tell you, but I just couldn't work up the nerve. I didn't know whether you still liked me or not, and I didn't want to mess things up."

He placed his first two fingers under her chin and raised it up so that she was looking at him again. "I think I'm falling in love with you, Ginny Weasley," he whispered. A single tear tracked its way down her cheek at his words.

A sudden urge came over him, and he slowly lowered his head to gently place his lips on hers.

AN

PLEASE REVIEW!

I know I know. I made it too fairy-tale like. I can't help it; that's the only way I know how to write it. Hopefully I can make it up by having a big fight soon. That should bring things down to earth.

Some of you were missing Sirius, so I brought him back a little. I'd just like to say, fading him away was intentional. Harry spending so much time with Ginny, he naturally wouldn't want his godfather intruding. Not permanent, but definitely something that I've been doing for this summer that they're spending together.

chapter 17 up as soon as I get it shipped off to beta and edited.

I would like to thank ALL of my reviewers with the utmost sincerity. Things needing particular addressing are listed in the review responses below.

nisha: well, he doesn't like his godfather in his head when he's with the girl he likes, so he blocks him out a lot. There will probably be somewhere between 40 and 50 chapters in all in this story, and I post each chapter the minute it is completed and betaed. this can take a short time or a long time.

thephantom114: ah, good guess on Gin's roommate, but no. Katherine is someone neither Harry nor Ginny (nor any of the characters) have met yet. She lives in America.

pink gecko: I probably will have it go long enough for them to have kids, since I like stories where they get married and have a family. Can't guarantee it though. I'll have to do some research on pregnancy though...my mom's done it six times, she's a likely choice. Oh man, that'll be an embarrassing thing to ask my mom about.

B-A-HPlova22: yep, that's what it was for, as you can see in this chapter.

Silver Warrior: Oh yeah, he'll be easy on the eyes alright. Most Eligible Bachelor material in fact. I like doing that because it leaves vast opportunity for Ginny to be possessive. She'll be really insecure in their new relationship, so a bump along those lines will be on its way soon I'm certain.

john: aargh. I just knew someone was gonna spot that. basically, I don't really know about that. my explanation is that they saw him blow up Marge because they were watching his house. conveniantly enough, they neglected to tell him that he could do wandless magic. of course, the reason he escaped them standing outside his house is because he didn't want to be found (wandless magic again)

Treck: 1) Can't tell ya that. I do promise I won't pull one of those 'even Voldemort doesn't deserve to die' routines and put him in prison. 2) 40-50 I think. not really sure at this point.