The Chicks Dig the OTHER Fuzzy Dude!
Chapter 10: Oh My Stars And Garters, It's Clobbering Time!

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Shout Outs-

Summers Groupie- Oh yes, I definitely plan on finishing this. In a few chapters' time in fact.

Goddess123452003- Oh yeah, the Fantastic Four are always fun to write. Enjoy the update!

GothikStrawberry- I kinda like Johnny actually. He's such a loveable goof. Of course there's interaction between Emma and Sharon, Emma is Sharon's foster mother!

Agent-G- Trouble always seems to follow the Fantastic Four, doesn't it? If it's not shape-shifting aliens it's armoured despots going 'Bah, fool!'

Author's Notes- I'm starting to run out of ideas for this story so instead of needlessly squeezing it out forever with crappy ideas, I have decided to bring and end to this story soon. Don't worry though, I have a few more ideas that I wish to try but I will bring an end to this soon.

St Sebastian's Island-

The small group of X-Men and Fantastic Four all leapt in to defend the holiday resort of St Sebastian's Island from the Mole Man and his giant monsters. Hank peat up on to one of the monster's backs and tried to grab it in a sleeper hold-type manoeuvre. The Thing followed suit as he grabbed the other monster in a sleep hold.

'Henry, be careful!' Emma called concernedly. 'This isn't a Danger Room simulation!'

'I know, dear.' Hank replied as he tried to tighten his grip on the monster's neck. 'Perhaps you should be careful yourself. I believe that the Mole Man's minions have busy hands.'

Emma swore out loud as one of the Mole Man's yellow-skinned minions made a grab for her.

'Watch your hands, peasant!' Emma hissed as she kicked the creature in the face. 'Uch. I shall be washing myself for a month now.'

'If you need a helping hand, just ask baby, and the Human Torch will be ready and waiting!' The flaming hero grinned as he blasted more minions with a jet of flame.

'Johnny, keep your mind on the task at hand!' The Invisible Woman instructed. 'We need to get these things out of here before somebody gets hurt.'

'Apart from these guys?' Tabitha quipped as she sent more minions flying with a well-aimed time bomb.

'You cannot defeat me!' The Mole Man chuckled arrogantly from his perch atop the tallest monster. 'My minions are infinite! You will fall beneath my heel! Just as the rest of the world!'

'You talk too much, Harvey.' Mr Fantastic sighed as he bounced around, flattening minions with his rubbery body.

'Don't call me that!' Mole Man yelled indignantly as he tried to blast the stretchy scientist with his energy staff. 'My name is Mole Man! You hear me? MOLE MAN!'

'Ja, ve heard you vell enough.' Kurt sighed as he bamfed behind the would-be conqueror and snatched the staff away. 'And to tell you ze truth, ve have heard it all before.'

'You dare?' Mole Man hissed at the fuzzy mutant. 'You dare lay a hand on me?'

'I dare, alright.' Kurt smirked. 'Why? You vant another?'

Kurt simply poked Mole Man on the chest.

'You will pay for this effrontery!' Mole Man yelled as he took a swipe at Kurt, only for him to bamf away again. 'Stay here and fight me, whelp!'

'Really, who like, says whelp nowadays anyway?' Kitty groaned as she phased through a minion and punched it upside the head.

'You should talk to Dr Doom some time.' The Human Torch snickered as he flew overhead. 'He's always whelp this, bah, fool that. Your bog-standard would-be conqueror types always talk like that.'

'Magneto never talked like that.' Amara remembered as she took out more minions with a lava blast. 'Right?'

'He was always more of a kneel before your king or feel my wrath type.' Tabitha replied as she tossed more time bombs at more minions.

'And we say that the bad guys talk too much.' Jamie sighed as he and a few Multiples piled on to the minions, forcing them down to the ground.

'I don't know about you guys…' A feline Sharon said. 'But I'm having the time of my life. Fighting along side the Fantastic Four, what's not to like?'

'As much as kicking ass is…' Tabitha added. 'I'd rather be in the hot tub with my woman.'

'Tabitha!' Amara hissed. 'Now really isn't the time for that kind of talk.'

'It's never time for that kind of talk with you.' Tabitha sighed. 'You're too damn honourable. Damn your sexy, honourable hide!'

'Umm… Thanks?' Amara blinked.

Back with the two giant monsters, Hank and the Thing weren't having much luck.

'Do these plans of action usually work for you, Mr Grimm?' Hank grunted as he struggled to hold on to the monster as it bucked about like an angry steer.

'Come to think of it… No, it don't usually work fer me.' The Thing shrugged. 'Aww screw it, this is gettin' boring now!'

The monster grunted in pain as the Thing slammed his fists on the top of its head.

'Ah, the quick solution.' Hank nodded. 'Good choice.'

The fuzzy blue scientist copied the Thing's move as he slammed his furry fists onto the monster's head.

'Timberrrrr!' Hank called as the monster toppled forwards.

Hank's fellow mutants and the Fantastic Four scattered before the monster.

'You've lost, Harvey.' Mr Fantastic said with authority. 'Give up now. You have no chance of winning.'

'Curse you, Richards!' Mole Man hissed. 'You Upworlders can only win so many times. And when you lose, I will be there!'

'Whatever you say, Moley.' The Human Torch sighed. 'Don't go away mad, just go away.'

Mole Man sneered at the assembled heroes and made a hasty retreat down the giant hole he had made when he first appeared.

'Well that was fun.' Emma sniffed as she dusted herself off. 'We come here for a vacation and end up fighting for our lives against a hoard of monsters. There's never a dull moment with the Fantastic Four, is there?'

'You should have been there last week.' The Invisible Woman chuckled. 'Dr Doom had formed an alliance with the Super-Skrull. It was terrible. They were at each other's throats most of the time.'

'It wuz one big pain in the ass after another.' The Thing sighed. 'We shoulda all stayed in bed.'

'You should have seen some of the fights we had with the Brotherhood.' Kitty added. 'They were like, painful. Those guys never know when they're beaten.'

'It is the same with villains everywhere, Katherine.' Emma nodded sagely. 'Why, back in my Hellfire Club days there was this… Gentleman isn't really the word…'

'Pony-tailed nancy-boy?' Tabby offered.

'They were all pony-tailed nancy-boys, Tabitha.' Emma replied. 'Anyway, there was this one man, Donald Pierce, I believe you met him Henry.'

'Oh yes, the obnoxious blond fellow.' Hank nodded, remembering the annoying cyborg. 'What about him?'

'Well, he never knew when he was beaten. No matter how many times I put him in his place…'

'Kicked him in the 'nads, right?' Sharon snickered.

'If I may continue?' Emma asked in a deadpan manner. 'No matter how many times I put Pierce in his place, he would always insist on trying it on with me. I'm surprised that Shaw never had him locked in the dungeon.'

'You guys actually had a dungeon?' Sharon blinked. 'Why was I never informed?'

'The Hellfire Club dungeon is not a place for children, Sharon.' Emma replied seriously. 'If you saw some of the things I heard Selene got up to…'

'Don't wanna know…' Sharon groaned. 'Eww. Nasty visual place…'

'Well, I guess all that is left to do is thank you all for assisting us.' Mr Fantastic smiled. 'You have a very capable team here, Henry.'

'As do you Reed.' Hank smiled. 'As do you.'

'Aww, enough with the back-pattin' already.' The Thing sighed. 'I'm dyin' o' thirst here. I need beer.'

'That is the best idea I have heard all day.' Emma sighed heavily. 'I need a shower too. Those creatures had busy hands.'

'Tell me about it.' The Invisible Woman added with a shiver.

'I thought you vere used to busy hands, Ms Frost.' Kurt snickered. 'Ve all know vhat you and ze Beast get up to most nights…'

'We can hear it too…' Tabby added. 'Sometimes I lay awake at night…'

'Tabitha!' Amara hissed.

TBC…

Next: Meet the Frosts

Emma takes Hank to Boston to meet her brother and sister, Christian and Cordelia. How will they react to the fact that their sister is dating a fuzzy blue ape man? Tune in next time to find out...