Nanna glanced at the fair-haired boy in front of her, and then turned back to her granddaughters. "What…have you done?" She asked slowly, confusion showing on her face.

Mai sighed and pointed to Sen. "It was her idea." She said.

Sen grinned evilly. "Our plan, Granny, might not have worked before but it will this time." She said with an evil chuckle.

Mai summoned a glitter web, inside of which, Sarah and Jareth were shown…talking, even cooperating.

Nanna grinned. "Well, if there was any question about you two being my grandbabies, it's moot now. No one but our family could have come up with something like this."

At that instant, Tyron came in with a little rubber ducky, with horns. "Here Toby, I made this just for you." He said with a gamine grin.

Fear blossomed in the women's eyes. "NO!" They shouted.

Tyron reeled back, just in time to, since the rubber duckie squeaked and exploded. Toby laughed, as Grandma wiped the soot of her face. "Grandpa exploded…cool…can you teach me that?" He asked running up to Tyron.

The girls swooned. "So..cute…" Sen said, "It's like claw your eyes out cute."

Nanna sighed. "No Toby…he won't teach you."

Toby whirled around and did the worst thing imaginable. He did the puppy-dog face. "Pweaseeeeeee?" He said grabbing on to her skirt.

There was a spasm from the heap that was the girls. "Not the puppy face." Came Mai's agonized groan.

Nanna fell into a puddle of skirts and glitter. "Damn..too cute…o-kay, you can learn. After all, you'll be a King someday if my girls' plan works." She said softly.

Toby whooped and in a blink of gun powder both he and Tyron were gone.

Sen and Mai extracted themselves form each other. "But…I thought he was going to stay with us." Sen whined.

Nanna smiled sweetly. "But he'll be more hidden if he's with Tyron."

Mai nodded and Sen blubbered. "But…the cuteness." She said sadly.

Mai hit her head. "Yeah, yeah…we know. But at least we won't be distracted." She said in a no-nonsense tone.

Hoggle's brow furrowed in worry…well, that was putting it mildly. "Oh-me, oh-my…why does this always happen to me?" He asked, fidgeting in the King's throne. This always happened. Every time Sarah got involved in the Labyrinth, Hoggle was forced to do something brave. It was inevitable, and Hoggle had already come to terms with that. He just never thought that that something would be to sit in front of the High Council of the Underground and defend His Majesties actions.

"Olaf," Matilda said patiently. "what proof do you have? After all, a war is a serious consequence."

Olaf swelled with rage. "A consequence?" He said dangerously. "One that is rightly deserved! He stole one of my own!" He raged.

Matilda yawned, further infuriating the enraged King. "Yes, you have said that before, yet you have provided this council with neither proof nor a witness."

Olaf turned purple in rage. "Fine, if the council is to blind to see that I have been wronged, than I succeed from the Underground Alliance!" He turned and stormed out of the Hall of Dreams.

The rest of the council looked at Matilda. "Well, this is going to be interesting." She said helpfully, Hoggle fainted.

The rest of the council chuckled, after all they didn't get a seat there for being worry-worts over something so insignificant as a war. Matilda smiled, and looked at Hoggle. "Well, at least he didn't have to say anything." She said as she whisked him back to Jareth's kingdom.

Sarah sighed as she rested on a rather large boulder. "How did I get myself into this?" She asked.

"You called for me." Jareth said as he sat next to her.

Sarah glared at him and scooted away from him, "That may be, but don't go getting any wrong ideas. I'm only here because those cousins of yours said we'd find him here."

Jareth sighed and scratched his head. "Look, just because they are related to me, does not mean that I'm evil too." He said inching closer to her.

Sarah inched away. "Yes it does, I wouldn't be surprised if your whole family was evil."

Jareth looked at the little space Sarah had left on the boulder and grinned. 'Well, if she wants to be onery.' He thought scooting closer to her.

Sarah glared and scooted herself off the boulder. "Damnitt Jareth! You fucking, mother, treater, bitch, lover, GOD!"

Jareth grinned at her incoherent mumbles. "You know, you are cute when you do that." He said sweetly.

Mumbling insued with greater force and a higher vocabulary.

"I swear, once we're through with this, I will castrate you." She said quietly.

"What about our children?" Jareth mumbled under his breath.

Sarah looked at him as she stood up. "What did you say?" She growled threatingly.

Before Jareth could reply, a crystal ball rolled into the glen.

A picture started to form above it. "Hi y'all!" Mai drawled as she looked form Jareth to Sarah with a grin.

Sarah lunged at the picture, and passed right through it.

"Y'know, you tried that last time and it didn't work, what about now has changed? Nothing." Sen said as she too appeared.

Sarah growled and stalked back to Jareth, dusting the grass off her bum. "Never hurts to try." She grumbled.

Jareth just smiled at her and then turned to glare at his two errant daughters. "Well, we're here. What do you want?" He asked icily.

Mai shivered and Sen brought out Shaft. "Begone, begone!"

Mai coughed, but stood her ground. Ping hovered over her misstress's shoulder. "We want you two to go and collect six of the sacred limes from deep within the Labyrinth, guarded by the Giant Queens of the Underground."

Jareth pailed, but then fury stained his face red. "You want us to get LIMES!" He bellowed.

Sen exclaimed, "O-kay, Shaft your bladder is not that big! I will never understand how you can manage to piss that much! I mean you went to the bathroom before we left."

Mai sighed as she stepped in front of her piss-soaked sister. Her glare met and beat Jareth's with it's coldness. "Yes, limes…and don't even try to get out of it. If you do, you'll never see the little darling again."

Jareth opened his mouth to retort, but Sarah's hand on his arm stopped him. He gulped as he looked down into her soulful green eyes. "Please, I want Toby back." She said softly.

Jareth sighed and shook his head. "Fine…" He grumbled.

Mai smiled and nodded happily. "Good! You might as well get started now, Jareth knows the way… by heart." She said as the image faded.

Sarah looked at Jareth curiously, but he just growled and grabbed her hand, ignoring the thrill that ran up his arm, dragging her towards a newly formed path.

Chapter Nine: The Giant Queens of the Underground

Author's note: This chapter is dedicated to Sen's older brother, may he continue to reign above us mere women. "Takes more guts to wear a dress for an hour, than a suit for a lifetime." – Emit from Queer as Folk.

"Jareth, Daaaaaarrrrrrling! How are you? It's been ages!" A very beautiful deep voice said from behind a thick oak door.

Sarah fidgeted as she looked around. They had walked for what seemed like ages until they came up to a very…unique…castle.

It looked like a normal castle from far away, it was only when you came up close could you see the difference. It was subtle, but there were certain touches that made it look different than your average fortress. Maybe it was the pink trim, or the thick velvet flags.

Sarah turned her attention back to Jareth and nearly laughed at how tense he was. 'I wonder what has him so bothered.' She thought as the door was flung open and a large, but beautiful woman stepped out and swept Jareth into a bear hug.

"Oh! I've missed you soooooo much!" The woman exclaimed as she hugged the life out of Jareth.

"Hi…Godiva…can you…uh…let me go?" Jareth said between gasps.

Godiva chuckled and then caught sight of Sarah. "Oh my! And who is this little chick-a-dee?" She asked sweetly.

Sarah smiled, she had a feeling se was going to like this place. "I'm Sarah…"

Godiva's delighted gasp stopped her from continuing. "Sarah! As in the Sarah that defeated snookums here? Oh Darling! I thought you'd have bad taste, but I was wrong if you're here with hot-pants!" She said happily, clapping her big hands together. Her nails looked like ten large joust sticks, really sharp joust sticks.

"You simply must come inside! The girls have all been dying to meet you." And with that Godiva swept them inside a velvet and chiffon paradise.

Meanwhile, in the Elvin Kingdom, Olaf sat with his counselors.
"Milord! You most reconsider! The Kingdoms have not been at war with each other in over a millennia!" One of his advisors exclaimed.

Said advisor had his head chopped off. "I do not care how long ago the last war was! All I care about is getting my revenge! The Fae have mocked the Elves for far too long, and we have just stood by! No more! We will have our revenge!" He roared.

The counselors sat back and looked at each other uneasily, than at the body, and then slowly nodded their heads in agreement. "Yes, milord." They murmured respectfully.

"Speaking of armies," Simon, the Kings most trusted advisor chimed in, "I have the perfect Generals for you. They have been controlling your armies from the west, and have done an admirable job at training your soldiers, My King." He said with a deep bow.

Olaf frowned in thought. "I do not know, My Generals here are more than enough…" He was cut off as Simon laid his hands on the Kings arm.

"Really, milord, they are the most suitable for this campaign. Trust me." He said as his grip tightened on the King's arm.

The King's eyes went dull. "Yes, most suitable." Simon released the King's arm and some life went back into his eyes, "I must meet with them first but I do believe they would be a worthy contribution to the campaign."

"No need to wait, Milord, they are ready to speak with you now," Then he added as an afterthought, "As well as the council."

Simon walked toward the door and whispered though the opening. He turned back to the group of council members, "May I introduce to you, My lords, General Duce and General Blade."

In walked two storms of black cloth and glinting armor. Their long legs brought them swiftly to the foot of council's table. There they bowed and intoned in unison, "My Liege," Their deep voices sent a shiver of fear throughout the council members.

The king smiled, "Please stand."

They did. And as this happened their eyes met the king. Green and Red met and over powered hazy silver as well as every other man who happened to glance their way. Simon's eyes where averted. He seemed to be speaking to the dust bunnies on the floor.

The King's face seemed to be stuck in that smile of his, his mouth barely moving as the slow whisper came out.

"I believe that you two generals will be a wonderful contribution to this campaign of ours. You may begin your training of my armies."

Their armor clad faces showed no emotion but their eyes seemed to be laughing, at what, they did not know. The council had a sneaking suspicions that they where not thinking of pleasant things.

"Sweetheart, may I ask why you have come here? I mean, I know you love us and all, but with you, Jareth, there is always an ulterior motive."

Sarah and Jareth where seated on a bright pink fuzzy couch that seemed to drag you into its fluffy depths. They stared at the giantess before them named Godiva. Sarah smiled even though she missed Toby. This woman was a great person, she could tell. She would have to add her into one of her stories when she got home.

"Yes, Godiva, I have come here for something… your limes." Jareth said looking at her with a smile that was so incredibly fake, he seemed to look like Barbie. Sarah glanced at his hands that seemed to shake with effort.

The giantess gasped, "You want me limes? But why?" She said clutching her chest.

"Well…" Jareth started to say but was cut off.

"Why do you want MY limes when you have her limes all to your greedy little self! I know I'm more endowed that her but still, she is your girlfriend!" Godiva ranted.

"No, that's not… STOP TALKING! Goodness Godiva, not those limes!" Jareth burst out.

"Then, what limes do you speak of?" She asked.

"You know, your magic limes, the ones you are here to protect." He sighed exasperated.

The Queens eyes grew round, "THOSE limes? How many?"

"six" Sarah said.

Godiva looked lost in thought but then grinned, "Six limes is quite a bit to ask for… it will need a fair price indeed."

Jareth paled, "What would that be?"

The Queen grinned even more, "Just one hour," She said smiling, "Alone, with Mr. Hot-pantyhose, to do whatever I wish…" Then she looked over at Sarah and added, "Don't worry honey, I wont do anything you don't approve of."

Jareth glared at Godiva, "NO WAY!..." He was going to say more but the soft touch of Sarah's hand pressed yet again on his arm. He slowly turned to her, knowing what he was to see.

Her green eyes sparkled with unshed tears, "But , Jareth, we have to… for Toby." Godiva could see straight through Sarah's little act, but it seemed to fool Jareth.

Jareth tried to resist those wide green orbs, but he couldn't. His once stone heart began to crumble and he weakened. "But…you don't know what she'll do to me." He said as a last attempt to stop what he knew to be inevitable.

Sarah pouted, and tears glistened in her eyes. "I know Jareth, but if you don't go with her…sniff…than…sniff…I won't ever see Toby again!" Sarah said.

Jareth cursed under his breath as her lip started to quiver. "Fine…one hour…" He said with a doomsday finality.

Godiva smiled and gestured to her maids. "Take him to my room, and prepare him for those garments I made for him last month." She said as they surrounded him and whisked him away.

"Well, now that hotpants is gone, let me ask you something darling." She said turning away from the whimpering Jareth towards Sarah. "Are you one of…uh…our kind?" She said delicately,

Sarah looked at her in confusion. "You mean a Giant?" She asked.

Godiva shook her head. "No, I mean…do you dress in women's clothes for…fun?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, why would you want to dress like a man?" She asked confusion still clear in her eyes.

Godiva laughed. "No, I mean are you…" She smiled. "You must know dear…we are not just Queens." She continued. "We are, as you say in the Aboveground, Drag-Queens."

Sarah's eyes grew as understanding sunk in. "Oh! Oh! You're a drag-queen!" She exclaimed. Then she laughed at her own naiveté. "I thought you were a real woman!"

Godiva chuckled. "But darling, I am a real woman." She said haughtily. "Well, as real as I can get." She added with a wicked grin.

Sarah smiled. "Well, you certainly had me fooled. I never once thought you were really a man." She said happily.

Godiva smiled down at her. "Oh honey, you are so cute."

Sarah grinned. "Well ,Godiva, I gave you permission to do whatever you wish with Jareth, as long as he disapproves." She said with an evil grin.

Godiva threw back her head and laughed. "Oh darling, he'll always disapprove. You see…he's a Homo-phobe." She said softly.

Sarah's grin widened. "Then by all means, attempt to make him learn the ways of the Drag-Queen."

AUTHORS NOTE: w00t! We love Godiva! Love her with a passion! I hope you will enjoy this little quest. Free love for the first to figure out what they're going to get! REVIEW! Give us some freaking feedback! GRRR! If you don't we shall… unleash evil parrots upon your ass and they shall scream in your ears until you WRITE A RESPONSE! Ahem…. READ MORE….

Back at the capital of the Underground, Matilda smiled at the joyous looks upon her grand-babies faces. "Yes, that means that you two are now my Generals. You have complete control over the entire Untied Armies! Or the U.A.U for short." She said as an afterthought.

Mai smiled, while Sen screamed with joy. "Yay! Finally, we've got lots of dollies!" She said creepily.

Mai glanced at her. "You do realize that these are actual living beings?" She said slowly.

Sen grinned maliciously at her. "Oh, I know! That's what makes it so much fun!" She said, whipping out a boom box from the Netherworld and racing towards the Lists.

Mai sighed and bowed to her Nanna, before following her crazed sister. "Thank you, Nanna."

Matilda sighed as she looked at their retreating backs. "Ahhh, the sweet smell of blood is soon to be in the air. Such a shame that I'm too old to fight in the front lines." She said softly. She turned to the black curtain behind her. "Tyron sweetie, how are the bombs coming along?"

"Just fine dumpling!" He replied, which was soon followed by a loud explosion, and high giggle from Toby.

"Grandpa went Boom!" He said sweetly.

Matilda threw back her head and laughed. She hadn't had this much fun in centuries.

"All right! You lazy bunch-of-maggots! Line-up!" A loud masculine voice boomed throughout the Lists.

All of the men stiffened and came to attention.

They all watched in apprehension as two warriors came striding towards them.

They were both tall, and wore full-body armor that hid their faces. The men were almost blinded as the rays of the sun reflected off their well-polished metal. Two wicked looking swords hang delicately at their sides.

"O-kay! Let the fun begin!" The second one said setting down a dark object on the ground. Bending over, he flicked a switch and out came Mulan's: "I'll make a man out of you!"

As soon as the music picked up a beat, the second General threw off his armor to reveal a grinning Sen underneath. "Hiya boys." She said with a wink and grin.

The first General hit his head and then took off the helmet hiding his face. Underneath was the irritated face of Mai. "You dumb-ass! There was a reason we hid our gender!" She said slapping Sen into a different mood.

Sen immediately lost the grin and snapped at the men, "Well, what are you looking at! Drop down and give me fifty!" She bellowed.

Mai shook her head and grumbled, "You bi-polar S.O.B."

The men looked at each other nervously, but dropped down and started doing push-ups. They had no idea what to expect, but if the stories they had heard from the Goblin City were true, it was going to be a wild ride.