Chapter 8: Shattered Pieces

"Logan! What are you doing?"

"Presently I'm doing a little redecorating, Ronnie. Do you wanna help?"

She wasn't sure what to do with him. He was visibly wasted. The emotional toll of today's activities had been high taking its toll on his already damaged self-esteem and the hard work he'd invested into straightening out his life these past few months. He lifted the bat again and smashed it against Aaron's desk. She flinched at the noise and flying debris.

"Stop it! Stop it now!"

"Ahhhh…don't be such a buzz kill Ronnie. You can't tell me you haven't wanted to smash some of his belongings. You said yourself you wanted to destroy the pool house, but it's too late for that. Here's your chance…a whole room full of his ego stroking possessions." He spun around, gesturing wildly at the room as he spoke.

She wasn't sure what to do or say but she knew she needed to calm him down. "Logan let's go sit down in the living room. I know what happened today, let's go talk about it."

"Hmmm…no. I don't think I want to do that," he said shaking his head. "I think I'll stay right here." He paused, standing there staring at her. "I hate this fucking room. If I could torch this room and his bedroom, I would. Ya wanna hear why I hate this room so much Ronnie?" He waited for her nod of assent. "This room is a shrine to the great Aaron Echolls, actor and family man extraordinaire. If people only knew the truth, they wouldn't think he was that great. This room…this room is where he usually liked to carry out his…punishment." The word punishment was accompanied by drunken air quotes. "You already know what his punishments entail don't you?" He walked a few steps away from her. "This is about where I stood after I told the homeless shelter he was donating $500,000. Let me tell you, the expression on his face when I did that was worth every strike of the belt." The tears gathering in her eyes as he walked a few inches over. "Here is where I stood about an hour before I smashed in your headlights. I'm sure you've already guessed that your little joke resulted in a little more to my punishment than just my car being taken away." He paused again and took a breath. "You know, he wasn't even pissed that I might be doing drugs. He was only pissed that I had been dumb enough to get caught and it might end up in the tabloids."

Veronica couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. "I'm sorry Logan. I'm so sorry. I never meant…"

He walked over while she was apologizing and gently ran the back of his hand across her cheek, capturing her tears. "Shh. There's no need to be sorry. If that hadn't been his excuse he would have just found another; though he really didn't even need a reason most days. I probably deserve a whole lot worse than that for everything I did to you last year." He placed a feather-light kiss on her forehead.

"You didn't deserve that, no one deserves that kind of treatment." Grasping his hand, she drew it to her chest. "Please, let's get out of this place. Let's go in the other room. We can sit and talk about anything you want," she desperately beseeched.

He yanked his hand away from her and ambled back across the room. "Feel free to go in there yourself. I'm not nearly finished in here. I really should have had Mrs. Navarro pack this room up when she did the rest of the house. I don't really know why I didn't. I guess I was worried he might get out and come home and if he discovered that I had gotten rid of his stuff there would be real hell to pay. But I don't care anymore. Do you know why I don't care? It's because I realize that even if he does get out, he can't hurt me anymore than he already has…he killed the first girl I loved, drove my mother to suicide, and tried to flambé you. He will never hurt me or anyone else again. If he gets out, I will kill him." He looked her straight in the eye when he uttered the threat. There was a flinty look in his eyes that convinced her that he was not kidding.

Striving to calm the situation, she tried to distract him from his original purpose for being in this room. "How did you get home Logan? I hope you didn't drive."

"How'd I get home? Umm…no...I didn't drive. I'm not even sure where my SUV is right now." He laughed carelessly. "I called Cliff to come and get me. He's my attorney and supposed to help me, that's what I pay him for. Besides, that whole attorney/client privilege thing means he can't rat me out to the judge."

She tried not to be upset that he wouldn't call her for help. She wondered if she had even come into consideration when he sought help. "Where is Cliff right now?"

"I'm not real sure. I think he might be parking his car but he's probably being held up down at the gate by the press. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll run a few of them down."

She had temporarily forgotten about the press. If they had seen him in this state, there would be no way the judge wouldn't find out. His probation would surely be revoked. Looking at him, she noticed his clothes seemed to be covered in sand and mud. "Where have you been? Did the press see you when you came in?"

"Oh, I've been out and about. Just enjoying the vast array of scenery Neptune has to offer. Sadly the press did not get any good shots of me. Cliff dropped me off nearby and I snuck on the property by going over the back wall. I wanted to come in the front way but Cliff wouldn't hear of it."

"Is that how you got all that mud on you? And how you got all the scratches?"

"I fell in a rose bush coming over the back wall. I think the yardmen must have been here today as it was awfully muddy out there." He looked confused as he tried to puzzle it all out. Most of his words came out slurred and rushed together making it hard to understand what he was saying.

Veronica was rubbing her temple trying to soothe the forming headache when there was a pounding on the front door. "I'm going to go answer the door. I'll be right back."

"Yes, why don't you go answer the door? Better yet why don't you go home? Or go save someone who wants your help?" He stood there staring at her. Daring her to walk out the door like everyone in his life did. "I don't want you here. I don't want your help." He enunciated each word carefully so there was no mistaking his words.

His words told her to go away, he didn't want her help, but the cracking in his voice and the pleading in his eyes begged her to stay. He was too used to being abandoned by those he loved. He would rather push her away than sit and wait for her to leave of her own accord. "I'm not leaving you. I'm staying right here…with you," she finished softly.

"Leave! I don't want you here," he screamed. Before she could respond the grandfather clock upstairs began to chime 10. He turned towards the sound with a dangerous glint in his eyes. He pushed past her and stumbled up the stairs.

Watching him make his way erratically up the staircase, she ran to the front door hoping it was Cliff on the other side. Maybe he could help her calm Logan down. So far she'd been unable to talk any sense into him and she was physically incapable of stopping him.

Swinging open the door, Veronica was thrilled to see that it was indeed Cliff. "Cliff! Oh thank god you're here," she pulled him into the room, slamming the door behind him. "Logan is freaking out and I can't stop him."

"Where is he?" Cliff queried.

From upstairs there was a horrendous crashing sound. Both of them turned and ran up the seeking following the source of the noise. They stopped in their tracks at the sight of Logan destroying the grandfather clock with the bat.

Logan stopped, panting heavily with exhaustion, when he turned and saw both of them gaping at him. "What are you looking at? Watching the crazy boy lose his mind? Maybe you're wondering if I'm going to turn into him?"

"No one thinks you are anything like Aaron or that you are going to become him. You've had a horrible day but that is no reason to throw away everything you've worked for these last months," Veronica pleaded.

Turning he headed down the hall towards one of the bedrooms. Pushing open the double doors, he stood on the threshold obviously thinking about past experiences in there. He talked more to himself than to Veronica and Cliff who were close behind him. "He sat on this bed and told me that now that Mom was gone we needed to be a family. He talked about how great my tenth birthday was when Mom wore a mermaid costume and we went to the zoo. He gave me a bloody nose when I spilt a milkshake. Of course he said I poured it out on purpose. He sat there and told me we were going to be a family and be united because that's what Mom would have wanted." He seemed lost in his own world. Cliff and Veronica weren't sure if he was even aware of their presence.

They watched as he glided across the room. He stopped in front of a closet with glass doors, leisurely running his hands lightly up and down the glass as if totally entranced by the pattern. He touched it in almost a worshipful way but the look in his eyes was one of pure pain and fear. Coming up behind him, she lightly ran a hand across his shoulders and down his back. "Why are we in here? What's in this closet?" She bit her lip anxiously awaiting his answer. She knew deep in her gut the answer would make her ill but she knew he needed to do this.

Reaching forward, he pushed the doors apart to reveal a closet full of clothes and more belts than Veronica had ever seen outside of a department store. Spellbound, he fingered the leather of the individual belts. Whispering to himself what each one felt like against the skin, which ones caused the most damage.

Cliff watched from the doorway, remembering Logan's earlier statements about the belts. He could see in his mind's eye, all too well, the image of a seven-year-old Logan standing there selecting a belt before heading to the study. He knew that no matter what he imagined nothing could compare to the panic which a child would feel. Parents were supposed to shield their children, not harm them or stand by motionless while they are being injured.

Veronica stood next to Logan, listening to him muttering about the belts as he stroked each one individually. The fury was churning in her stomach giving rise to a wish to take one of those straps and give Aaron a beating similar to the ones he had inflicted on Logan.

Logan gathered all of the belts in his arms and headed for the balcony door. Kicking the door open he walked out and threw the belts over the side into the backyard. He watched as they fell to the ground, curled up like snakes waiting to strike. He traipsed back into the room, shoulders slumped in defeat. The rage seemingly drained out of him finally with his last act. It looked like he could barely put one foot in front of the other before he came to an abrupt halt and his knees buckled. An awful keening sound came from the spot where he bent over face buried in the carpet.

She came over, knelt next to him and gathered him in her arms. She rocked him, stroking his hair, whispering over and over that it would be alright. She swore he would never suffer at the hands of Aaron or anyone else. Most of what she whispered she would never remember and was composed of nonsense, but she was aware of promising him she would not leave him ever again.

Feeling as if he were intruding on a private moment, Cliff strolled back out to the hallway. He surveyed the damage in the hall before going back downstairs. Wandering into the study, he saw the havoc wreaked there and let out a low whistle. There had been some serious rage vented in that room. His professional rule was to stay neutral and uninvolved with his clients. There was something about this Echolls' kid that prevented him from resisting being tugged into the drama. He desperately wanted to help him get his life straight for himself, but also for Veronica. He adored V and did not want to see her hurt or dragged down by her association with Logan. It was evident from her behavior that she adored the boy and was determined to be there for him.

Roaming back up to Aaron's room about ten minutes later, Cliff came over and stooped down next to them. "Hey V. What do you want me to do? Do you want me to call your dad and tell him you'll be late or what?"

"No, my dad's out looking for a bail jumper so he won't be home for a few days." She continued rocking Logan and stroking his hair though he had quit keening and was in fact silent. He appeared to be almost asleep. "Can you help me get him to his room?"

He helped her pull Logan up and towards his room. He was a dead weight against Cliff but his hand was clasped into Veronica's, not letting her get away from him. They dumped him in his bed, undressing him down to his boxers. When they got him settled, they could hear him muttering to Veronica to go away, leave him alone. Telling her it was for her own good to stay away from him, however since he continued to cling tightly to her hand, his actions completely contradicted his words.

With a quiet word to Veronica, Cliff went down to the living room to wait. She lay down next to Logan, stroking his hair and watching him settle down. She stayed next to him until his breath came evenly and his grip on her hand loosened enough for her to draw it away.

Veronica walked into the living room and sank onto an overstuffed chair near the couch Cliff was already collapsed on. They both sat there in silence trying to regroup from the evening's activities. She finally broke the silence, "I bet you didn't know being Logan's lawyer would involve quite this much excitement? Sorry you had to deal with him like that."

Cliff waved off her apology with a hand. "No problem. There's no reason for you to feel bad. No reason for Logan to either. I've certainly had to deal with situations a whole lot worse than a drunken kid who broke some crap. I have defended Loretta and the PCH crew multiple times now. He had to deal with a monster today, who happens to be his father, so it's not too surprising he didn't handle it very well. I had a feeling when we went in there we might have pushed him into this a little too soon but it was too late to back out."

"I'm not sure there ever would have been a good time. I have a feeling his reaction would have been similar to this no matter how long he waited. Damn him for being stubborn and trying to do it on his own!"

"Yeah. I was surprised you weren't there today."

"He lied to me about the date. He said it was on Friday. I guess he knew I'd show up whether he wanted me to or not so lying was the best way to ensure I didn't make an unwanted appearance."

Cliff nodded, not too shocked to learn Logan hadn't told her the truth. He was very protective of the people he cared about and Veronica was the person he cared about the most. "So what are you going to do? Are you going to stay here or go home?"

"I'm going to stay here. Someone has to get him sober and up in the morning before his probation and therapy sessions. I thought I'd get him up early pump him full of coffee and water. Try to flush his system of the alcohol. God, this is a mess. Leave it to Aaron to be involved in the near destruction of all the progress Logan's made up till now."

Cliff sat there for another moment in silence before finally dragging himself off the couch. "You seem to have everything here under control so I think I'll head home for a few hours of sleep myself."

She walked him to the front door. When the door opened, she could see the press scrambling down at the gate trying to see who was coming out. She was thankful the gate kept them far enough away that they couldn't see or hear what was happening in the house.

As he started down the stairs, he turned, "V, I want you to be careful. I know you care for him a great deal but if he gets sucked down in this hole, don't let him take you with him."

"I won't," she nodded. She started to close the door when he called out her name again.

"You need to think long and hard about how much you are willing to take on in this situation. If you don't think you can be here through the shit that's likely to come up, and for the long haul, the best thing you could do for Logan is to walk out that door tonight and never come back. That boy has had too many people he counted on abandon him already. It would be a whole lot easier for him to deal with it now than to try and cope down the road when he finally allows himself to believe you are here to stay."

She nodded again and without a word shut the door and collapsed against it. Trudging up the stairs, she wondered if this day could have been any more screwed up. Taking a t-shirt from Logan's drawer she went into his bathroom to get ready for bed. She found a spare toothbrush and even ran across some facial scrub and moisturizer. She decided it was best not to speculate too hard about who might have left it there.

Turning off the light, she walked back over to Logan's bed and watched him sleep. He had gotten restless and fidgety since she'd originally left him. Making a decision, she crawled under the sheets. He must have sensed her in his sleep as he automatically moved as close to her as he could get and mumbled her name. Wrapping her arms around him, she stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. Tomorrow would be soon enough to kick his ass for this stunt. Tonight he needed her to just lie next to him, holding him close to her heart. Kissing his forehead she mumbled, "I love you Logan. And I'm not going to let you fuck this up."

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