A cool breeze rustled Kurogane's spiky hair as it lazily blew past him, carrying some leaves off to who-knows-where. Maybe Leafland. Smiling in the sunlight, Kurogane boredly jerked the fishing pole he was holding. He had been sitting here for about an hour with no luck whatsoever. Fishing truly was the best way to do nothing for hours.

Suddenly, there was a tug so strong that Kurogane nearly fell into the water. Desperately reeling in the line, Kurogane leapt to his feet to see what he had caught.

A merman Fai was clinging to the hook and giving Kurogane a lusty look.

"You've caught me, Kuro-pin," he said, leaning towards Kurogane. "What are you going to do with your prize?"

Kurogane shot straight up in his bed, screaming. His heart was beating so fast that he could almost feel it in his throat. He put a hand over his chest and began trying to calm down. He was almost able to breathe normally when the door burst open. Fai, dressed in a pink apron and holding a bowl of cake batter (some of which was on his face), looked at Kurogane worriedly.

"Kuro-rin! Are you all right?" he asked, sounding panicky.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kurogane said gruffly. He had a strong urge to kill something.

"Oh good. I thought I heard a little girl screaming."

There was an awkward silence.

"If you heard a little girl screaming, then why would you come to MY room?" Kurogane snarled.

There was another awkward silence.

"I guess I never heard you scream before," Fai said, grinning.

"WHY YOU--!"

Fai barely managed to slam the door closed before the sword Kurogane hurled at him became lodged into the door.

After fuming for a while, Kurogane decided to head downstairs. Maybe he could make plans to kill the wizard. But Fai was a slippery devil, and had proved quite hard to kill. The tricky bastard had actually ignored the giant-leaves-over-a-pit-of-spikes trap. Clever, very clever, especially considering the carpet that surrounded the trap was green.

Kurogane sat down at the table, solemnly swearing to never go fishing for as long as he lived.

Something clinked from behind the kitchen counter. A clink that sounded suspiciously like…a bottle of sake.

"What are you up to, witch-man?" Kurogane said suspiciously, standing up and peering around.

"(hiccup) Meeeooooowwww!"

"Oh Christ, not this again," Kurogane muttered to himself.

"K-(hic) Kuro-woofy!" Fai called happily, trying to stand. The sake, however, had messed up his motor skills pretty bad, so he kinda fell over to one side. He decided to prop himself up against the counter. "I know a seeeecreeeet!"

"What?" Kurogane demanded, his hand on the hilt of his sword. If Fai told anyone that Kurogane screamed like a little girl, then—

"It's only you and me today, puppy!" Fai cried happily, throwing his hands up into the air and nearly falling over again.

Kurogane was dumbfounded.

"What?"

"I sent Syaoran-chan and Sakura-min out for the whole day! It's just us!"

"No…dear Lord, NO!"

"Wuz wrong, puppy?" Fai slurred, staggering over to Kurogane and hanging all over him. "Dontcha like kitties?"

"I do, but you're pushin' it, wizard," Kurogane snarled.

"Liar!" Fai yelled drunkenly. He hit Kurogane with his fist, and Kurogane was surprised that it actually hurt. "You hate kitties like me!"

"That's because you're not really a kitty," Kurogane explained, trying to stay calm and not shake Fai violently. "You. Are. A HUMAN."

"Doesn't matter!" Fai cried. "You hate me either way! You don't even give me a chance! Looka me! I'm all lovesick for you, and you…treat me like crap! Crap! Crappy crap crap!"

"Man, you're seriously drunk, Fai," Kurogane said, amazed at the wizard's behavior. "What the hell are you drinking?"

Fai shrugged.

"Sake, soda, bleach…it doesn't matter. I can never get drunk enough to score with you!"

"Thank God for that."

"See! Mean! Bad puppy! Very bad puppy! Gotta punish you!"

"You stay away from me!"

"I just want someone's love…"

Fai took a step forward and tripped, releasing the sake bottle and falling flat on his face. Kurogane tensed, ready to leap backwards if Fai got up again, but a moment later, the wizard began snoring. Kurogane sighed and scratched his head, staring at Fai. He looked kind of…womanly in that pink apron. Cute, almost. Kind of helpless. The type of person Kurogane hated but would secretly love to protect. Right now, though, Fai needed to have his face removed from the tile floor. Slinging him over his shoulder, Kurogane hauled Fai upstairs to his room.

As he headed up the stairs with his cargo, Fai mumbled something.

"…so sorry, Kurogane."

"What? You're not calling me one of your stupid names?"

Fai shook his head.

"Why not? Are you so loaded that you can't remember any of them?"

"They irritate you. Make you hate me. I want love, so I'll stop."

Kurogane dropped Fai onto his bed(Fai's, not Kurogane's…sorry, fangirls). He sighed.

"I don't hate you, wizard. Well, not exactly."

"Mmph…I love it when you chase me."

"…Fai? How drunk are you?"

"I love you!"

"OK, drunk enough for me to admit this and for you to forget it. I, uh…like it when you tease me."

"…"

"Wizard? You better not have been faking, you sly bastard!"

"Snooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooore…"

"Ah. Good."

Kurogane shut the door behind him and quietly went into his own room to let Fai sleep off his horrible drinking experience. Kurogane decided to take a little nap of his own. He laid down on top of his covers and quickly fell asleep.

Something smells like booze. Oh damn. Is it…Fai?

Kurogane pried an eye open and saw Fai lying on the bed, looking at him. Kurogane immediately leapt off the bed and moved backwards towards his sword, not taking his eyes off Fai.

"Don't get any funny ideas, wizard!" he warned, feeling around behind him.

"I'm not drunk," Fai groaned, holding his head and getting up off the bed. "I have a killer hangover."

Kurogane chewed his lip.

"Do you remember anything?"

"No, nothing. Oh wait…I think you said…you liked it when I teased you."

"Uh…damn, you sure do imagine weird things when you drink, Fai! How the hell did you get another bottle of sake, anyway?"

"I bought it, silly," Fai laughed, sitting down in a chair a little too quickly. He grimaced. "I'm old enough to buy it, you know."

"Damn. I'll have to keep a closer eye on you, you sneaky bastard."

"You better. And when I see you watching me, I'll do this!"

Fai stood up and shook his butt, and Kurogane quickly turned away from him. Jesus, why had his nose started bleeding!

"Are you okay, Kuro-ru?"

"YES! GET OUT! KURO-RU NEEDS SOME ALONE TIME! NOW!"

"Alrighty! I'll bake us a cake!" Fai called as he shut the door.

Kurogane waited until Fai's footsteps faded, then pinched his nose to stop the blood.

Damn that bastard's ass-shaking.