Nope, this story isn't dead after all. Let's just say I had a horrendous day of babysitting. Trust me, it gave me loads of inspiration. I had inspiration coming out of my ears, I tell you! Um...so yeah, cork it and read!
"Well...I guess this is it."
"Somehow, I find it hard to picture that thing running a day care."
"Oh, he does not walk the Care of Day. His earthly creators are away for the Day of Holly, and they requested that he observe things until their return."
Cyborg's eyebrow reached for the sky. "Then...shouldn't he be the one watching them?"
"Oh, come on!" yelled Beast Boy, grinning in excitement as he balanced the box of Star Wars action figures on his hip. "It's just a bunch of kids! How bad could it be?"
"Do not challenge the fates," said Raven darkly.
"Dudes! There you are! You're, like, three minutes late man!"
The It was, if possible, even more painful in person. "I'm just surprised he can read the clock," muttered Robin, getting a quiet chuckle out of the dark empath. To the It, he grunted, "Sorry?"
The It blinked, a vacant expression on his creatively decorated face. "For what?"
Eyebrow twitching all around.
The It shrugged it off, saying hastily, "Well, gotta go, don't know when I'll be back, have fun!" He disappeared faster than a plate of Cyborg's meat-tastic burgers.
"Sooooooooooo now what do we do?" asked Cyborg, blinking at the dancing bunnies on the window display.
Robin's eyes were narrowed behind the mask, back rigid, face determined as he put a hand on the doorknob. "Now...We Fight."
The creatures looked up from their various activities as the door opened, their vision honing in on the new arrivals. For a moment, all was deadly silent...then, they attacked.
"WOBIN!"
"STAWFUW!"
"CYBOWG!"
"BEAS' BOY!"
"WAVEN!"
Children of small stature were everywhere, tugging at their legs, kissing their shoes, pulling on their clothes; all the while managing to yell, drool, and suck their thumbs.
"Whoa...wait just a--HEY! That is NOT a toy!" Robin's face turned an interesting mix of green and red as he dove forward, trying to catch the kid who had snagged his birdarang.
"We've got to save Boots, so remember: ocean, grass, Polar Bear Mountain! Say it with me: ocean, grass, Polar Bear Mountain! Ocean, grass, Polar Bear Mountain! Ocean, grass, Polar Bear Mountain! Ocean, grass, Polar Bear Mountain! Tell Dora and Diego to go to the ocean first!"
"Dude! I am NOT a pacifier!"
"Hey! Cut that ou--Whoa!" The little monstrosity laughed as Cyborg's arm detached from his body and shot across the room, ricocheting off the light fixtures.
Raven watched the commotion with mild amusement from behind her protective shield of energy. She could have restrained them, of course, but where was the fun in that?
As Robin ducked the birdarang without an inch to spare, he lost any patience he might have had. Pulling a whistle from his utility belt, he blew long and hard. All movement ceased as everyone but Raven yelled and covered their ears, eyes screwed up against the piercing shriek.
"All right, listen up!" barked Robin. "You're behavior is unacceptable! It's a dangerous world out there, and if you want to live to see 6, you had better sit down and zip your lips!"
Ringing silence fell as his fellow titans rolled their eyes and the toddlers blinked in astonishment, lips aquiver.
And then came the tears, rolling down their chubby little cheeks as wail after wail emitted from their gaping and more or less toothless mouths. It was amazing that such a large noise could come out of such a small individual.
"Um, friend Robin?" yelled Starfire, a distressed look on her face. "I do not think that was the right approach!"
"Great job, Bird Brain! This ain't boot camp, ya know, Sergeant!"
Robin glared, his ears turning a fiery red. "Well...fine! If you think you can do better, be my guest!"
"Ooh, ooh, I shall try, Robin!" cried Starfire, bouncing up and down excitedly. She stood in front of the wailing crowd and shouted, "Attention, small children of Earth!"
They sniffled a few times, but the crying died down considerably as curiousity overcame hurt feelings. In the newfound silence, Dora made an important announcement.
"My mommy's having a baby!"
"A baby?"
"A baby! A baby! A BABY!"
"You are so cute and fluffy that it pains my heart to see you unsettled! Please, what activity would you like to pursue?"
"You're weird!"
A rather soggy teddy bear hit the overzealous alien in the face as uproarous laughter broke out among the masses and Starfire started her lecture on manners.
Meanwhile, Raven had drifted over to the large television, feeling it was safe to drop her energy shield, since the children were occupied.
"We have to go to my house, because my mommy is having a baby!"
"A baby?"
"A baby! A baby! A BABY!"
"If I was Dora's mother, I wouldn't want her spreading my personal issues all over the animal kingdom." She groaned, twitching slightly as the bilingual seven-year-old's high-pitched voice grated on her nerves. "How can kids stand watching this?"
"We can't. Well...I can't, anyway. I hate this stupid show."
Raven's head swiveled around in surprise to see a little boy with the same look of misery that she currently wore. "You've got one thing right. It's definitely stupid. What's your name?"
"Timmy," he said, hugging his knees and fixing her with a penetrating gaze.
Her eyebrow quirked. "Timmy..." she murmured thoughtfully. Shrugging, she droned, "Whatever. So...what show do you want to watch?"
He handed her a dvd case, casting Dora a disgusted glance.
Raven read the cover skeptically. "Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch. You sure this is better than Dora?"
The boy opened his mouth to reply, but a particularly loud burst of giggles attracted their attention.
"You're a girl!"
"No, I'm not."
She giggled even harder, pulling Robin's cape around him like a dress. "You're a girl!"
The Boy Wonder's face matched his shirt as Beast Boy and Cyborg rolled on the ground laughing. "No, I'm not!"
"Then why are you wearing girl's clothes?" she giggled, making his cape swish back and forth like a ball gown.
Robin jerked it out of her reach. "I'm not!"
The girl looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, a mischievous grin on her face. "You're pretty."
Robin's face went from red to green faster than a traffic light as he stuttered incomprehensibly, the girl giggling and playing with his hair.
Raven's and Timmy's eyebrows went up simultaneously as they intoned, "Ooook."
Averting her eyes, the empath's gaze fell on Beast Boy. The changeling had a small audience.
"Ooh, be a monkey!"
"Be a howsey!"
"Be a dwagon! WOAR!"
"Be a kitty!"
They all stared at Timmy with skepticism and disbelief. He blushed under their gaze.
"I like kitties..."
"You're a dowk!" crowed a chunky boy, turning back to the shape-shifter. "Be a dwagon! Now!"
"Um...I don't know if I--"
"NOW!"
"Ok, ok...sheesh." Beast Boy's eyes scrunched closed, his nose and forehead wrinkling in concentration...
A green dragonfly hovered in the air before them, its wings a flurry of movement.
"Be a dwagon, be a dwagon, be a dwagon!" chanted his audience, clenching their small fists and scowling in disaproval.
A green komodo dragon flicked its long, slithery tongue.
The natives were getting restless. "BE A DWAGON, BE A DWAGON, BE A DWAGON!"
Raven soon tired of watching Beast Boy strain to become a non-existant creature, and cast a quick glance around the room to find Starfire laughing helplessly as six little girls attacked her sides, armpits, and feet (now bootless) while a chubby little boy immobilized her by sitting on her head.
"No! NO! Get that out of your germy little mouth!" yelled Cyborg, tugging on his dismembered arm as the monster on the other end chewed happily on the finger. Teething, no doubt.
All hell had broken loose when a blessed sound blared in their ears, a beautiful little ditty issuing from their communicators like a heavenly chorus...
Robin disentangled himself from the four-year-old, choking out, "Trou--"
"Woops, would you look at that? Better go!"
"I'm afraid I must go participate in the butt-kicking now!"
"Later days, bro!"
The door slammed loudly in his face while Robin was still stuttering. Raven smirked at the betrayed look on his face...and, of course, his newly-braided hair didn't help much either. "Just you and me, it seems. You're on diaper duty."
Ha! Yes, I brought in Timmy just for fun...not really him, just one of those "hey wait a minute" things. :P Hope you liked it! -Dusty