Hello everyone. Thanks for all the reviews. Hope you like this chapter. I went through it just a little bit faster then normal but I have another finals week around the corner so my mind is somewhat split. Hope you like it. I will update ASAP (as finals will allow.)

------------------------------------------

Above the sound of the wind around them he heard her try to muffle her cries. Holding her close he tried to comfort her.. The tears soon stopped as he held her. WIth every breath he took she rose and fell with the movement of his chest

Eventually she subdued her tears and was silent. In his arms she felt safe from any danger and gathering herself she rose back from his embrace. Relunctantly he released her. Reaching a hand to her face he brushed her hair behind her ears.

"Some warrior I am huh? Look at me crying like a little child." she said as she wiped the wetness on her cheeks away.

"Actually, you look very much like you always do. Beautiful and strong. Very strong." He said a little sarcastically as he rubbed his jaw. A sly grin reached his face as he looked at her.

A small laughed escaped her as a hand raised to hide her smile. "I am sorry." she managed to say after a moments pause. "I take it that I never struck you before."

"Only when we practiced and never that hard." Lancelot said still staring at her. He wanted to pull her to him once more for the fear that this was all a dream and he would wake and she would be gone again filled his mind. Looking at her the guilt he felt for the last eight years came bearing down on him hard. Not just the guilt of leaving her in Saxon hands but the guilt of the women that he bed in a vain attempt to forget her and the pain he felt. His eyes lowered from her stare as an uneasy silence crept between them.

"Are you okay?" She asked seeing him avoid her eyes. Reaching an arm out she sought to bring him back to the moment. She laid her hand gently on his arm causing him to take her hand into his. "Lancelot, whats wrong?" she whispered. Summoning the courage he looked into her eyes. She saw the pain in his eyes as he tried to hold hers. Standing he turned away.

-------------------------------------------------------------

How he could he tell her without hurting her further. Her eyes searched his in an effort to find what troubled him. Releasing her hand he rose and turned away from her. The words he needed to say seemed to be caught in his throat and would not escape. 'How can I tell her what I had done over the years.' The task seemed so simple in his mind, just open your mouth and tell her but, the words to speak it were harder.

"Lillian, there is something...I..." The words caught in his throat as he tried desperately to speak them. Running his fingers through his hair he looked to the sky above.

"What?" she asked him again. She did not know why but fear suddenly plagued her heart. What ever part remembered him.

'There's no holding back now.' he thought to himself. Taking a deep breath he continued. "I drank to forget, everything. This war, the woads...the Saxons," he said angrily as he spoke their name. "even you." His voice softened has he looked at her. "The women meant nothing. I swear." his voice was full of guilt and remorse as he uttered his sin against her.

"Women? What women?" she asked knowing full well what he had just confessed to her. She saw the pain in his eyes as he stood before her.

"I was angry at myself, the Saxons, everyone. I got so mad at the world itself that I drank and... when I drank, I sought comfort in the arms of others. Every morning I would see you in my dreams and I would wake with arms around me and for a brief moment I would believe them to be yours just so I can gain some happiness but in the end they never were. I would make my way to the empty grave we marked for you and I would beg for forgiveness from you. I am sorry Lillian, more then you could possibly know." Lancelot pleaded. He searched her eyes for some sign of how she felt, but her sky blue of her eyes did not change their gaze. Hanging his head he waited for her to strike out against him once more but nothing came. Silence stood between the two as she adjusted to what he had just told her.

"I supposed we have both suffered in our own ways. My by the hands of Saxons and you...you punished yourself by memories of the heart." Lillian spoke finally breaking the silence. "I am sorry for how you have suffered, but we cannot change what has happened in the past, you said so yourself."

The Knight looked at her sadly as she spoke. What chance did he have of getting her back now. He cannot change the past and his heart hurt as he thought of losing her again because of his actions. Walking over to the sullen knight before her she brought her hand to his face and drew his face to meet hers.

"But... we can look to the future." she said quietly. She saw the look of hurt on his face change to that of shock and suprise.

"You mean you will be coming with us?" Lancelot asked. His heart jumped at the thought. Looking in her eyes he swore he saw a spark of light that used to fill them years ago.

"What have I got to lose." she said mockingly. Leaning forward she brought her face close to his. Hesitating she looked into the deep brown of his eyes. A deep sense of longing stung her heart as she found herself so close to him.

"What are you doing?" he whispered breathlessly. Her cool blue eyes locked on to his.

"I dont know." she answered quietly as she leaned forward.

"Lancelot! You get lost out there!" shouts came jokingly. From the sound of the voice it was that of Bors. Looking behind her she saw the path leading back to the camp. The one that Lancelot had come through.

"They call for you." she said silently as she slowly backed away from the man before her. "We should go back before they decide to send a search party." she smiled nervously.

Running his fingers through his hair Lancelot looked off through the trees. He cursed lighty under his breath. She was going to kiss him, he swore it but then Bors shouted. He would have to 'talk' to him later.

"Coming?" she asked reaching an arm back for him. Stepping forth the man took her hand but instead of following he pulled her close.

"In a moment." he whispered quietly as he looked into her eyes. Reaching a hand up he brushed some of her lose strands of dark hair back behind her ear once more. "Eight years has been long enough."

"For what?" she whispered back as he touched her face.

"This." he whispered drawing her face to his as he kissed her.