Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They are the property of Hajime Kanzaka and Shoko Yoshinaka.

Chapter Six - Wait

A Song By Sarah McLachlan

Italics – Song Lyrics

Black – Any Narrative

Under a blackened sky
Far beyond the glaring streetlights
Sleeping on empty dreams
The vultures lie in wait
You lay down beside me then
You were with me every waking hour

So close I could feel your breath

He woke up. It vaguely registered in his mind that he was in a hammock. There was a woman nearby. He could smell her. This was bad. He brought himself up to a sitting position. It was dim in the room, but he could make out her gold hair, even though her back was to him. She was in another hammock a little bit away from him. At least he hadn't woken up in bed with a strange woman. That would have been very unpleasant. Her hair was what he had smelt – a distinctly feminine fragrance.

Where was he? He was dressed. What happened? It was wretched to wake up so often and have no idea what you had been doing the night before, and it was happening more and more. He didn't even know what day it was.

Who was the girl? He doubted it was anyone he knew. He swung himself out of the hammock and reached for his boots. He'd better at least check what she looked like before he left. He would hate to run into her on deck in five minutes and not recognize her even as the girl he had woken up beside. He ducked underneath her sleeping form.

Her cheeks ... the fan of her lashes ... the soft hair cascading off the edge ... he would know her anywhere.

It was Filia.

When all we wanted was the dream
To have and to hold that precious little thing
Like every generation yields
The new born hope unjaded by their years

He cursed. What had he been doing? He had to get out of there.

He opened the door and stepped out onto the deck. He was on a boat. What was happening?

"Get a hold of yourself, Xellos," he said quietly to himself, putting his hand to a piece of fabric around his neck.

"Is that you Lex?" a burly sailor asked him, then seeming to recognize him, he went on, "The captain is looking for you. Where were you last night?"

Xellos didn't recognize the sailor. He didn't recognize the boat he was on, but it was better to play along than reveal that he was very confused, but why was he being called Lex?

"No problem. Where is he?"

"Over there," the sailor said, pointing to where Xellos could have easily seen him if he had turned his head thirty degrees.

"So ka," Xel said with a genki laugh, turning in that direction.

"Lex," the captain said, calling to him. "Where were you last night? I know I said for you to take a break, but I don't think I meant that kind of break."

So, everyone on board knew he had spent the night in Filia's cabin. This was very bad.

"It's not like that," he said easily.

"It's okay," the captain said, compass in hand. "The storm blew us close to Saviena. See?"

Land was indeed in view.

"I'll really need your help as we are going to land today. Have you made up your mind as to whether or not you are going to stay for another journey? I'd really like it if you would make up your mind to stay. You're a cracker jack first mate."

He was first mate?

"No, I, uh, haven't made up my mind yet," he answered. This was so much worse than anything. He was being praised? He was never praised.

Pressed up against the glass
I found myself wanting sympathy
But to be consumed again
Oh I know would be the death of me

So far the captain hadn't asked him to do anything that he didn't know how to do. He was lucky that he had done this sort of thing before. Through his work he kept one eye on Filia's cabin door. He had a fear. He feared that he was traveling with her and that she would be expecting him to go with her. He was trying to piece together what clues he had. They were in separate hammocks, so he wasn't her lover.

Filia's lover?

It wasn't possible.


And there is a love that's inherently given
A kind of blindness offered to appease
And in that light of forbidden joy
Oh I know I won't receive it

He had gone to the white mage/black mage tournament with the expectation of taking on Filia, and she cast that summoning spell. It was the very devil of a spell, and it really hurt him. He reacted. Then they were disqualified.

It was meant to be a great joke that he had come to duel with her. He hadn't seen her in ages, and when he heard she was coming he was interested. It was natural. She was a mother now, and he was curious as to why she was coming to participate in something to test her skills in battle. He was very interested. He thought she was going to spend the rest of her life nursing Val and drinking tea. What happened to her to make her want to come to something like this, and leave her precious son behind?

When she stepped on the field he could hardly believe it was the same person. He had never seen her in pants, and her legs looked so long. It was obvious she had become much more experienced since he had last seen her. He was intrigued, and that was why he cast the Dragon Slave, to test her. He dared not cast anything larger, lest she couldn't take it.

He had not expected that summoning spell of hers. It was like she cracked his mind open. He had simply been careless, leaving himself open. He wasn't expecting a spell that would break a monster apart – he had just come for a visit.

When all we wanted was the dream
To have and to hold that precious little thing
Like every generation yields
The newborn hope unjaded by their years

He had woken up with a fever the next morning.

He had woken up with a headache later that day holding a basket of fish.

He had woken up in a café not knowing how he got there.

He had woken up in a hammock beside Filia. She was beautiful. She was more beautiful than she had ever been. What was she doing sleeping in the same room with him? Didn't she hate him more than anything? How could he have worked his way that far into her life? He never believed it was possible. Not for him. Not for a filthy mazoku.

You know if I leave you now
It doesn't mean that I love you any less
It's just the state I'm in
I can't be good to anyone else like this

But what was happening with him? He must not meet with her until he knew what was going on. He told himself he was an idiot. The quickest way to find out what was going on was to talk to Filia and ask her. Perhaps she already knew, but he found he couldn't face her. Not when he had to ask her what was wrong with him. He could never admit that something was wrong with him to Filia. It was just something he could not do.

When it came time for them to unload the cargo and Filia's door opened at last. Xellos watched her from the lookout tower. She had a bag of things with her, but she did not look around as though she were looking for someone. She thanked the captain for allowing her passage, and stepped off the ship without a backward glance.

He couldn't decipher why it was, but his chest felt oddly empty as she walked away.

When all we wanted was the dream
To have and to hold that precious little thing
Like every generation yields
The new born hope unjaded by their years...

Author's Notes: I just want to thank my reviewers! I love reviews! Thanks for all your kind attention!