Hello again. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Lillian finally tell Lancelot. How will our young knight react. Its alittle different then what you probably expected but I hope you like it. Please R&R and I will update again soon. Thanks for reading.
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"I couldnt possibly." she said jerking her hand back.
"Why not, their yours?" Lancelot laughed.
"I wouldn't know how to use them." she said easily. "Cynric never taught me how to wield two swords. I wouldnt know where to begin." she added carelessly. After the words left her lips she realised the error she had made. Turning her eyes to Lancelot she saw his face grow dark at the mention of Cynrics name. Turning the knight glanced to the many swords that lined the hill. 'Stupid.' she thought biting her lip. Looking down she once more saw the dull glimmer of the swords before her. 'It wouldnt hurt to at least pick one up.' Glancing quickly to the knight she reached her hand out, grazing the one of the swords dark handles. Following the curves she gripped the sword tightly and, taking a deep breath she pulled the sword free from the earth that had for so long been its home. Lifting the sword she let the rays of the afternoon sun reflect upon its blade casting the reflection on her face.
Hearing the sound of the dirt falling from its pile beside the sword he turned to see Lillian staring curiously at the upright blade.
'Hold it tightly. Dont lose your focus.' a voice like the wind whispered in her ear. Her eyes darted to Lancelot who had not moved.
'Focus.' The voice whispered once more and her eyes fell back onto the blade. 'Two swords are harder to wield then one. You must learn to concentrate twice as hard.'
'Now, Focus.'
'FOCUS!' the voice shouted.
'No not the same voice.' she thought. 'Not the same.' It was harsher, crueler in its tone. Cruel and menacing. 'Cynric'
'I said focus!' Cynric snapped. Grabbing her wrist tightly in his hand causing her to fall to her knees under the pain.
'I am sorry.' She said wincing has he squeezed even tighter. She was sure if he held on any tighter he might crush her wrist. His eyes cold as he held her showed the pleasure he got from seeing her in pain.
'Sorry will not save you from the enemy, nor from me.'
Dropping the sword she gasped for air.
"Lillian?" Lancelot asked with concern as he watched the womans expression change from that of curiousity to fear. "Lillian!" he shouted to her as the swordstruck the ground hard andshe fell to bended knee. Racing before her he knealt down beside her. His eyes searching hers.The look in her eyes showed the fear she felt for an unseen terror. Grabbing her shoulders he shook her back to reality. "Lillian whats wrong?" he asked brushing her hair away from her face and back behind her ears.
Tears brimmed the sky blue of her eyes as she looked to him. She saw the love for her in his eyes. In her heart she hoped the love that her felt for her would be strong enough for what she needed to do. Shrugging his hands away she rose and walked away pulling her arms tightly around her as she went.
"You said you wanted to know. Very well. Cynric is everywhere I look. Everywhere. No matter where I go or what I do he is there." she finally managed to say aloud before her voice choked on her.
"You dont have to worry about him anymore. Forget him and the Saxons." Lancelot said softly. Coming up quietly behind her he reached a hand up to caress her shoulder.
"I cant forget them. I may be Lillian the Sarmatian but some part of me will always be Kendra."
Not meaning to hurt him she shrugged him away. Things were already difficult enough without her feeling him so near. Breathing deeply she fought to find her voice leaving the knight beind her in disbelief.
"Promise me something Lancelot. Promise..." her voice started to crack as she spoke. "promise me that for the next few minutes you will listen. Just listen."
"Come on Lillian whats..."
"Just promise me." Turning around she had tears in her eyes. With the distance between them she hoped he did not see them although the waivering in her voice gave her away. "Please." she pleaded as their eyes locked.
"I promise." Lancelot asked confused at the situation at hand.
Hanging her head she gave a weary smile in acceptance of his answer. Turning her back to him she inhaled the stale air. The words she so desperately wanted to say were caught in her throat. For a brief moment the only sound to break the silence was the wind as it swept passed.
"I fought hard you know. I did. I fought I need you to understand that. I probably would have kept on fighting had I known of you and the others. That you were out there. If I would have known anything of my past. Unfortunetaly over time the spirit tends to give up the will to fight especially after so long and with no hope in sight."
"Lillian." Lancelot spoke up. His voice and eyes equally intense. Not wanting to hear what she was to say but not wanting her to stop talking.
"You promised to listen." she cried loudly causing the knight to fall silent. "I fought so hard at the start. With all my strength but...he's a man, and no matter what I tried he was stronger then I. He began to become so angry with me when I fought back. Cynric would pin me to the ground. I tried...I tried... He..." unstoppable tears came forth as she relived the terrible moments in her head. Breathing steadily she struggled to find her next words. "Cynric trained me to fight...he even beat me...and when he couldnt find anymore punishments for me he...he...raped...me."
Turning around she saw the face of the young, dark, haired knight grow pale and empty of emotion. Sighing heavily he turned to the empty grave beside him. Running his fingers through his hair as he let her news sink in. His jaw clenched and anger in his face. Silence stood between them as she waited for him to respond.
"Well say something will you." she cried.
Turning his head ever lightly he listen to her words. "And whatwouldyou likeme to say." he asked cooly.
"I dont know. Anything. Say anything just dont stand there." she pleaded hoping he would answer.
His mind raced with all the questions he could ask but when he opened his mouth to ask them only one came out. "That is why you ran from me last night. Isnt it?...Isnt it!" he began to shout anger in his voice. Finally bringinghis eyes to her.
"Yes!" she shouted admitting what had happened. The sound of the anger in his voice starting to scare her.
"I held you. I kissed you and you saw the man that raped you." Lancelot started off again his voice now low but still intense.
"I didnt want to." She said softly aproaching him. "I am so sorry Lancelot." she cried. Her pleas were met silently when Lancelot raised his hand signaling for her to stop.
"You should return to the fort." He said staring off to the treeline. "The others will be looking for you."
"What about you?" she asked staring sadly at the knight before him. His figure which moments before stood tall and proud was now hunched over.
"I need some time." he answered. "You can ride him back." he added pointing to his horse. "Jols will take him to the stables when you arrive."
Standing a moment longer she tried to find words to speak. Something to break through to him to cast down the wall he put up but nothing seemed appropriate. Walking to his horse she took one last look back before mounting. On the way back to the stables Lillian glanced back to the cemetery. In the distance she saw Lancelot walking off.
