A/N: Wow, this sure is a long chapter. Didn't I say it would be? It has literally taken me three separate days to write. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it!
Dedicated to Neo-Lover72 because the whole 'Neo comforts Trin' thing in this chapter was their suggestion.
18
"Have you ever stood in front of the Council before?" Neo asked Trinity as he struggled to keep up with her and swerve through oncoming crowds of people at the same time.
Trinity nodded, keeping her gaze on what lay directly ahead of her as she walked at a much faster pace than usual- partly due to the fact that they were running late but mostly as an attempt to calm her nerves.
"Almost everyone has had to stand before the Council at least once before for one reason or another. Newly unplugged people must in order to officially register themselves as a citizen of Zion on their first trip. I'm not keeping count, but I can say that I've stood before the Council roughly over six times before."
"What for?" Neo asked after a brief pause, perhaps with a note of playfulness in his tone despite the fluttering sensation he was experiencing in his stomach.
"Different circumstances." Trinity said with a shrug. "If I stopped and told you about each separate occasion in detail, we'd be even later than we already are now."
It was indeed true, this was certainly not the first time she'd stood before the Council and she knew each member quite well, as well as what to expect from them. But of course, the situation was now very different. Neo was involved.
They arrived at the door that led to the Council's chambers mere moments later, only to see Morpheus waiting for them just outside the iron double doors, his back pressed against the wall and his head bent, deeply lost in thought. He glanced upwards when he saw them approach and smiled kindly, nodding once in greeting.
"Morpheus, do..." Neo began, but trailed off, truthfully unsure of what he wanted to say. But he didn't need to, as Morpheus seemed to know exactly what was on his mind.
"I told them everything, Neo." Morpheus answered somewhat colourlessly. "At least everything I knew."
"And what did they say?" Questioned Trinity anxiously.
"They told me to send word to both of you to tell you that you were required to stand before the Council in an hour, and the details for the burial ceremony for the rest of the crew. Nothing more." Morpheus stood aside to let them pass. "I suggest you go in now. You're already late as it is."
Neo nodded, but stood rigidly to the spot, unable to make his feet move. He knew what awaited him beyond the doors ahead of him...attention...fear...uncertainty, and he didn't like any of those things at all. However, he took comfort in knowing that Morpheus had already told the Council the full story, and therefore the daunting task wouldn't be placed upon his head. But it didn't make the situation seem any brighter.
Although she was just as equally afraid of the Council's decisions, Trinity had enough sense to know that standing outside the door and trembling was not an option. She yanked one of the heavy doors open with one hand, and used the other to tug him through it after her.
Neo gazed around him, taking in his surroundings as he was pulled downwards to the front of the room. Like the dock, the room was large and set in a circular shape, made (like nearly everything else in Zion) from different assortments of coloured metal. The room seemed to be built on a slant, so that the rows of aligned, empty and highly uncomfortable looking benches were risen slightly. They were cut into three sections and divided by two staircases running directly down to the lower bay of the room and beginning at the sets of identical double doors, one of which they had just entered through.
A long table draped in white cloth was positioned in the lower bay facing the rest of the benches. About a dozen people sat stiffly in the hard backed seats behind it, dressed in long flowing Zionist robes and headdresses, each seemingly from different nationalities. They were all elderly, their faces pallid, wrinkled and a few even cruel. But judging from most, Neo would have to say that they appeared to be emotionless drones without any personality whatsoever. Yet he had learned from Trinity that first impressions are not always correct; and in more ways than just one.
Who knows? Perhaps they might allow me to continue working on the Neb...perhaps they might let Trinity and I remain together. Maybe they won't make me do anything at all! Although he knew that most of these thoughts were far fetched, they were helping to keep him in a good mood, and he almost began to believe in them.
Remembering something that Trinity had told him on his first conscious night in the real world, he leaned in to whisper in her ear just as they neared the final step.
"Positive frame of mind."
Trinity paused and looked up at him in surprise, wondering how he'd managed to remember something that had passed between them that seemed to occur such a long time ago. He winked, reading the expression on her face and she smiled tightly to show she had understood.
The Council were silent until the pair reached the lower bay and Trinity pulled Neo behind one of the rickety tables positioned directly opposite an eloquent old woman sitting right in the center. Neo automatically assumed that she was the Head Councilor. He saw a set of seats behind him and was about to drop into one, figuring that he was able to since the entire Council were sitting as well. But when he caught sight of the look on Trinity's face, he knew his assumptions were obviously wrong. He stood as straightly as possible, hands folded together in front of him, mimicking her every movement.
The Head Councilor looked at Neo directly, her dull teal eyes empty and unfeeling. "You are Neo, recently unplugged solider brought into the world and now serving Captain Morpheus on board the ship, the Nebuchadnezzar?" She said formally.
"Um....yeah?" Neo mumbled uncertainly, feeling his face grow hot. The Head Councilor raised one fine eyebrow, but chose to say nothing. To his right, Trinity was casting him an irritable look, which he chose to avoid, and obviously the rest of the Council seemed to be just as annoyed by his lame and informal response. This was with the acception of one man sitting right beside the Head Councilor, who had to cough to hide a snort of laughter. Neo gave him a closer look and saw that he was plump and wrinkled with age, with thin bristles of white hair on his head and even finer ones on his chin. Although he was old, his blue eyes sparkled with youth, unlike the rest of the Council, and he had a kind aura about him.
"And you admit to believing that you are the One?" The Head Councilor continued, not tearing her eyes away from his face.
Neo had never prided himself on his ability to speak in public, especially to complete strangers that had the power to control his decisions. But in hearing these words, he seemed to find strength from an unknown source. Strangely enough, it did not come from Trinity, but from something inside him that he hadn't known was there before. I am the One. It's true. So why don't I tell them?
"I don't just believe it." Neo said, basking in his new found confidence. "I know it."
Trinity blinked, startled. Where did that come from? I thought he'd be struggling to form sentences like he told me he usually does in public, and he was doing so only a few moments ago! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the Head Councilor questioned him about being the One...
She remembered a time when she and Neo somehow found themselves talking about public speaking and social situations. She didn't recall exactly how the conversation began, all she knew was that it occurred sometime during the period when they were repairing the ship's engines together in the cockpit....
"When I was at school, I was terrified of public speaking." Neo had explained as he worked. "I wasn't much of a social person, and my only friends were the other four people who played in my high school band."
"Well, that's four more friends than I had." Trinity had interrupted. Neo said nothing, but pulled out from underneath the engine to take a break from working. She had climbed out after him a while later only to see him lying on his stomach with both arms folded in front of his face. She sat, cross-legged beside him as she wiped her grubby hands on her shirt, listening intently to whatever else he would say.
"After I moved away from home when I finished school, I fell out with those friends as well. I guess I never made friends again because I wasn't very social...liked to be alone. But no one wants to be alone all the time, even me. But sadly, my only companions when I moved were work colleges and people who bought things from me. I wasn't friends with them." Neo had been staring into space, lost in thought, but then suddenly had turned to face her, grinning at a once forgotten memory. "You know, my mother once tried to make me more confident by forcing me to join the debating team in my first few years of high school. Even though she thought I would be a worthless failure, she seemed to believe that there was a thread of hope left for my social success. But it didn't go as well as she planned."
"I can imagine." Trinity said, grinning now too.
"Yeah...it was pretty awful. I wasn't friends with any of the other kids in my team, but they were kind enough to give me the job of being the second speaker since it was my first time." Neo continued, stating the last segment of the sentence sarcastically. "It went well at first. I actually wrote the speech, and even my brother said that it was pretty good, and he was captain of the debating league at our school. But when it came time to put my speech into action, I couldn't bring myself to say a word. I started to tremble when I saw the large crowd of parents watching me in complete silence. My legs felt weak...the colour left my face...next thing I knew, I was vomiting all over the adjudicator before I'd even had the chance to say a single word."
Trinity spluttered with laughter at the mental picture in her mind. "I take it you were allowed to quit after that?"
"I was literally thrown off the team." Neo laughed. "Much to my delight. Of course, my mother wasn't impressed, and I had to endure weeks on end of her rambling on about how worthless and pathetic I was to anyone who'd listen to her, but it was worth it." He paused, turning his head to face her. "What about you? Have any embarrassing social moments?"
Trinity paused to consider this a while, before she came up with a response. "I didn't have any friends at all...ever. I never dated, or went to parties, or to the shops, or did any of the usual teenage things. A lot of people were scared of me, which was probably why no one ever tried to befriend me. I didn't get on well with girls. They called me a bitch behind my back...that or a computer nerd...sometimes even worse. I did seem to get on well with guys, and at one stage a few were becoming close enough to befriend me. But then they ruined it by asking me to date them and well...you can probably guess how that ended up."
"Maybe if people weren't so intimidated by you, then they would have been able to see what a great person you were." Neo pondered to himself, then shook himself back into reality with a hurried apology. "Sorry, thinking out loud...again."
"It's alright." She smiled, looking away from him. This conversation must have only taken place early on in their repairing session, because Trinity remembered that she'd first been reluctant to admit any personal thoughts or feelings to him. Somehow, she must have found the courage. "But you're wrong. The situation was actually better after I When I was in primary school, I used to get teased and bullied by the other students in my grade, and by some of the older children. I never payed any attention to it...used to ignore them...used to say nothing...ironically, I pretend they didn't exist. But then one day, when I was ten and in the fourth grade, a girl named Lauren was picking on me. I couldn't take it 't stand to be treated this way anymore. Something cracked inside of me, and I started to swear at her...shout at her. She was completely taken aback and toppled over into the trash bin behind her. I started to attack her, and she ended up getting bruised up pretty bad. I was caught, and received my first ever punishment while at school. But I didn't care because I'd won. I'd beaten them. No one ever dared to pick on me again, because they knew what they'd get if they did."
Trinity brought herself back into the present time, only to hear the Council muttering senselessly to themselves and see Neo standing rigidly beside her, his face ghostly white and yet his cheeks were tinged a pale shade of green.
If he doesn't find another boost of confidence again soon, he might vomit all over the Council, and this time the punishment would certainly be worse than just getting kicked off the debating team. Nervously, she stretched out a hand and clutched his fingers silently under the table. Neo turned his head sharply to face her in confusion, but Trinity said nothing in reply, only clinging to his fingers even tighter.
"A little overconfident for someone who has failed to prove this yet." A Councilor stated blandly. Neo's eyes swiveled away from Trinity to the speaker- a dark man with large, fuzzy black hair.
"You must understand, Neo." The Head Councilor continued after finishing a hushed conversation with the male Councilor sitting beside her- the one who'd almost laughed when Neo had addressed the Council. "You are not the first man to stand before us and claim to be the One. And those who have stood before you have not met the standards of the tests we performed on them that followed, ending their session with us in utter disappointment."
Neo gulped. So there will be testing me to prove that I am the One. What if I fail? What if I do something wrong and then they don't believe me? He didn't doubt he was the One, but that didn't mean that others wouldn't doubt him. And if they were going to base his measurement of power on a simple test...
"In order to prove that you are the One, you must undergo two separate stages." The Head Councilor continued when Neo's silence was her only response. "First, you must tell us how you came to know and realize your power. Then, you must take on several medical, mental and physical tests in order to prove your abilities to us visually. If you can pass through all these stages with a highly acceptable response, then we will believe you."
God, do they really need that much proof? Trinity asked herself, clenching Neo's fingers even tighter. He was shifting on the spot uncomfortably, hating the mounds of unwanted attention he was receiving. She knew how much he hated this kind of situation from the stories he'd told her about his past. She wished they wouldn't do this to him...wished they would just believe him.
"Do you understand us, Neo?" Asked the fuzzy haired Councilor irritably when Neo failed to reply. Trinity scowled at him the second he turned his head.
Neo swallowed with difficulty, and for a moment, Trinity thought he really was about to vomit. But somehow, he managed to find his voice by causes unknown to her.
"Morpheus already told you what happened." Neo said boldly, finding his inner confidence once more. "Why should I need to repeat him?"
To this, the Councilors eyed him in disgust, horrified that someone should address them in this manner. Only one seemed to find this statement amusing- the same one who'd struggled to stop himself from laughing before. He actually erupted with laughter, quieting himself only when the Head Councilor gave him the evil eye.
"I like this one." Trinity overheard him whisper to the Councilor sitting to his other side. He then turned his attentions back to Neo and spoke aloud. "Indeed, we have heard the same information before. But we'd like to hear it from your own mouth, Neo. Just to make sure that the story is completely true."
Neo nodded, understanding where they were coming from but not liking the idea at all. He'd thought that since Morpheus had already told the Council his story, he wouldn't need to repeat it. Obviously he had been mistaken. Right then, his greatest fear became telling near to complete strangers about his personal life...even greater than fearing the Council's verdict. Taking comfort in Trinity's hand clutched in his own beneath the table, and the previous outburst of confidence still lurking inside of him, he slowly began to speak.
"Well; I died...as you know, w-when I was attacked by an Agent. I remember....I remember I was falling down a dark hallway, and I couldn't feel anything. Not my arms, or my legs, or the climate. Nothing....just empty. Then....then...." Neo stopped just as a random thought popped into his head. "Hey, why did you ask Trinity to see you as well?"
"We'll get to that later, Neo." Another Councilor scowled. "Please do not become unfocused and try to finish the story as quickly as possible."
"Right, well...um..." Neo rose his free arm and began to rub the back of his head. "I heard a voice breaking through the darkness. It was a voice that had guided me through everything thus far. A voice that had helped me in my battle with an Agent named Smith, and also given me strength to keep going. It was Trinity's voice. She told me that....that I needed to..."
He trailed away. How could he let them dig into his personal life and exploit the pleasant memories he held of his becoming the One? Especially when Trinity was standing right beside him and he hadn't even told her this side to the story yet. He'd never even mentioned being inside a dark hallway and hearing her voice to her before. He opened his mouth to try again, but the words wouldn't 't come. Some things were just too private to ever mention again.
Shit. Trinity thought quickly to herself. If he can't bring himself to finish the story, then we have no chance of convincing the Council that he is the One. They won't believe in someone who can't even speak in public, let alone lead an entire race to greatness...unless, I...No, I can't do that! No one has ever spoken in front of the Council without being addressed, just as no has dared to address them informally until now. But it could be Neo's only hope.
"I told him that he couldn't be dead." Trinity interrupted sharply, catching Neo's eyes briefly before they fell on the stunned faces of the Council. She threw each person at the table her most threatening look, as if challenging them to stop her from speaking. None did, and she continued the story alone. "I told him that he had to be the One because...because the Oracle told him I would fall in love with the One, and that I loved him. This literally brought him back to life and uncovered his hidden potential. He deleted an Agent from the Matrix and returned to the real world just before the E.M.P was triggered to kill the sentinels that were threatening to destroy our ship."
Trinity finished, and the room erupted in stunned silence. She could feel her cheeks burning red, and beads of sweat collecting on her forehead as all eyes remained fixed upon her. She was unable to believe she'd told the Council elements of her personal life, and was privately basking in self pride in doing so. Although she had left out specific details of the tale, such as the two kisses she and Neo had shared that day.
Some things were just too private to ever mention again.
Neo had to admit that he was impressed. He couldn't believe Trinity had been able to confess her personal experiences of the day to the Council! In a way, it was like one ordinary human killing a pack of sentinels single handedly with his bare hands...it wasn't something that was done. Trinity didn't admit to things like falling in love with him so simply. But he was also pleased that she'd saved him from having to do it.
"You are Trinity, second-in-command on board the ship, the Nebuchadnezzar captained by Captain Morpheus?" Asked the Head Councilor some time later.
"Yes, Councilor." Trinity repeated, suddenly ashamed of her misbehaviors. All sense of self pride had long since abandoned her.
Neo saw the way Trinity addressed the Council, and mentally noted that he needed to be much more formal while in their presence from now on. So that's why the Council were giving me dirty looks!
"May I ask what possessed you to speak out of turn, Trinity?" The Head Councilor continued. Trinity was about to reply, when a firm voice stopped her.
"I think it's perfectly clear why." Said the Councilor who'd laughed at Neo's comments, gesturing to Neo as he spoke. "The man obviously was too embarrassed to say anything more about that topic and was rendered speechless. Trinity, here, merely stepped in and finished what he had to say."
"It doesn't matter who said it anyway, it's the same information that Captain Morpheus gave us, only with much detail left out and minus the story of Cypher's betrayal and other important events." Another Councilor said with a shrug. "And because most of the Nebuchadnezzar's crew is dead and their ship destroyed, I see no evidence to disprove their story."
"I suppose that he's past the first stage, then." The Head Councilor said bitterly.
"But he still has a long way to go before he can prove he is the One." Another added. "And we must keep in mind that more than just one of our rules has been broken for the first time ever after this man was unplugged."
"Oh come now, I hardly see why our rules should matter." The kind Councilor said with a worn smile. "If Neo really is the One, then I suppose we can make acceptations in this case."
"And if he's not, Hamann?" Asked the same Councilor as before.
"Then he and the rest of his crew stands accused of all charges." Hamann said brightly. "Until we can prove that he is the One, I suggest we make no definite decisions involving his fate. The only things I believe we should discus now are both how long we plan to keep him here, and what we plan to tell the people of Zion."
"Well spoken." The Head Councilor commented. "I agree, we still need to decide what we must say to the people of Zion."
"Nothing for now, is my verdict." Hamann continued. "It is not a good idea to get their hopes up. And if Neo really is the One, then I doubt he would want swarms of people to either worship him, or to look down to him. I suggest that we tell them nothing of Neo's abilities until the right time arises, in order to make things less stressful, and everyone's lives more comfortable."
"Would you be able to live by that, Neo?" Asked a female Councilor in a soft and timid tone.
Neo nodded vigorously, glad that the attentions of Zion's population would be kept off his back for the time being. At least he wouldn't have to worry about what others thought about him...or about helping them just yet, especially since he had no idea how he was meant to bring an end to the war.
"Then I suppose it is settled." The Head Councilor concluded. "The people will be told nothing, and I suggest that the two of you ensure that nothing that has passed between us today leaves this room just yet. Neo, you will be expected to remain in Zion until you can prove that you are the One, or that you are not. The rest of your crew will have to decide if they want to leave and return for you once you've finished your tests, or if they would prefer to wait here in Zion until it is done. Whatever their decision, the Nebuchadnezzar will be given full repairs, and I have scheduled a ceremony in the main temple tonight to mourn the deaths of your fellow crewmembers. Now that all matters have been settled, this council is now adjourned."
The Head Councilor banged a gabel on the desk twice and the entire Council stood in union and exited through a small door just behind and to the right of where they were sitting. With the exception of Hamann, who approached both Neo and Trinity with a wide smile spread across his face.
"Councilor Hamann." He said, holding out a raw and wrinkled hand which Neo shook with his free one (the one that wasn't clasped with Trinity's). "I thought I should introduce myself informally to you without the presence of the other Council members."
"It's good to meet you." Neo smiled shyly, pulling his hand away when Hamann loosened his grip.
"And same to you." Hamann said, beaming brightly. "That was quite a show you put on before. I don't think anyone has ever addressed the Council so...informally. For a newbie, you certainly have guts."
"I-I'm sorry if I offended you." Neo stuttered apologetically. The last thing he wanted was to be labeled as a problem-causer when he was starting out in a new world. Although he had to admit he was partly flattered. No one had ever called him brave before.
"I thought I was giving you a compliment." Hamann said with a laugh. "But no, I don't think you offended any of us. If anything, you actually amused me. This has been the most enjoyable council we've held since I joined. People automatically assume that they need to be formal when they address the Council, although there is no written law for it. It was about time that someone realized they needn't act in that way."
"Oh, um...thank you." Neo mumbled, casting a sideways glance to Trinity who had a smile playing on the corners of her lips.
"Just want you to know that somehow, I do believe you, Neo." Hamann said seriously. "I don't know why since I've never been much of a believer in the prophecy. But there's something about you...about the way you spoke...the confidence in your voice when you firmly stated that you knew you were the One, perhaps, that set you apart from the others." He paused, completely changing his tone of voice. "And frankly I can't wait to see your test results."
He gripped hands with Neo once more before turning to exit through the door the other Councilors had used, calling over his shoulder. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Trinity knows where to find me."
After Hamann was gone, Neo let go of Trinity's hand and sunk into the chair behind him, massaging his forehead with both hands as he emitted a heavy sigh. Smiling, Trinity sat beside him, resting one elbow on the table.
"I never want to do that again." He groaned, his whole head throbbing.
"You may have to." Trinity said through a laugh. "It looks as if we'll be staying here for some time."
Neo sat up straight in his chair, looking at her in surprise. Trinity had once told him how she disliked to stay in Zion for too long because she wasn't used to the quiet and peaceful lifestyle, and how she always eagerly awaited the time in which they would depart. He had expected her to want to leave him behind in Zion and return with Morpheus and Tank once he'd finished his tests.
The tests...he already had a horrible sensation bubbling in his stomach when he thought about them. Medical tests...that would be the worst. He hated hospitals and medication even more than he hated public speaking. And what if the tests were wrong? What if he couldn't prove he was the One? Would Trinity still love him if her prophecy was wrong?
"You're not going to leave?" He managed to stammer amongst the thoughts swarming around in his head.
Trinity stared back at him in shock, amazed he would even dare to think of such a question. "You really think I'm going to leave here without you?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't." Neo grinned with relief.
Somehow, Trinity could tell he was anxious about the tests...she could read it when she looked into the depths of his warm, chestnut brown eyes. She couldn't deny she was worried as well...worried for him...worried that the stress of it all would get to him. But at least he wouldn't need to worry about publicity for the time being. That was an upside to it all.
Yes, an upside. Positive thinking. That's what he needs me to do for him right now. He needs me to help him forget, to relax and to give him support.
"Look on the bright side of things." She said playfully.
Neo raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair again. "What's the bright side to all this?"
Trinity shrugged. "At least you didn't vomit this time."
(o)
Morpheus was waiting for them outside the Council's chambers when Trinity and Neo exited a while later. He had been leaning against the door again, but stood up straightly when he saw them, eyes wide and wondering.
"What happened?" He asked immediately.
"Well," Neo began. "They made Trinity and I tell them the whole story again but from our point of view. Then they told me that I need to undergo a series of tests to prove I was the One, and I have to remain in Zion until I can."
"That is the most preposterous thing I have ever heard." Morpheus scoffed. "They have the word of Tank, Trinity, you and I. What more proof do they need?"
"Obviously a lot more." Trinity said. "They also said that it was best not to tell the people of Zion about Neo just yet."
"I must admit, that is a good decision." Morpheus mused. "We don't want to draw anymore attention to ourselves than needed. I agree, I believe that nobody is to be told."
"Should someone find and tell Tank?" Asked Neo, not pausing to think.
At once, Morpheus and Trinity's face's fell dark. It took Neo sometime to realize why, before he remembered that Tank was most likely spending time with his grieving family, still mourning the loss of his elder brother and was again overcome with a sense of sadness.
"No, I think Tank has enough on his mind at the moment." Morpheus reasoned after a while. "I suggest we don't mention it until tomorrow."
"He won't think to bring it up, anyway." Trinity added. "He'll be too preoccupied with his family."
Morpheus nodded. "I'll see the two of you later tonight then at the ceremony in the temple."
After Morpheus had left, Trinity began to walk in the opposite direction with Neo hurrying to keep up with her long and even strides.
"Where are we going?" He asked her.
"To take a walk, I guess." Trinity said with a shrug. "The ceremony will probably take place in roughly over an hour. We have time to ourselves until then."
"Right." Neo beamed, glad that at least his meeting with the Council was over for now, and he could finally relax....at least he hoped he could.
(o)
The temple (not the main temple), was larger than Neo had even imagined it would be, and much different to the rest of Zion. The entire structure was made from clods of earth and mounds of rock with a dirt floor and not a slate of metal in sight. It was carved in the shape of a hollow cave that only deepened as it drove further into the side of the wall, creating more than enough room to easily hold over one thousand people. It was lit by a seemingly invisible source of light, and everything from the stalactites on the ceiling to the clods of wet dirt on the floors had a warm and inviting aura about it.
Right at the end of the temple, a platform had been cut into the back wall so that it was suspended above the lower floor. To the right of it was a winding staircase that led upwards, presumably to the platform. The only things stabilizing the ceiling were large rock pillars, which shorter people climbed atop and clung to in order to see over the heads of the rest of the crowd. The rest of the space in the temple was dedicated to accommodating the standing spectators of whatever ceremony or gathering was being held at the time.
"Amazing." Neo muttered to himself as he and Trinity neared the entrance to the temple roughly over an hour after their session with the Council had ended. He paused at the end of the long walkway they'd been traveling down to marvel at the sight before him, his eyes wide with awe.
The opening was cut in the shape of an archway, each line and curve of the entrance made to fit in perfect mathematical procession as the metal ended and was replaced with rock, earth and stone. Neo stood by the entrance, taking in the natural beauty of the earth against the coldness of the artificial doorframe and the path they'd just traced to reach it, while Trinity breezed past her startled companion and joined the ever-growing group of people gathering in the temple that lay beyond. Shaking himself back into reality, Neo hurried to catch up with her, pushing past the groups of well dressed Zionists until they found a decent spot directly beside one of the rock pillars towards the back.
The temple must have held a good few hundred people, but obviously not enough to take up the entire area. Looking around him, Neo saw that each person had dressed respectively in long flowing robes (some with headdresses) in dull and colorless shades- almost as if it was a sign of respect. Bringing his eyes back to Trinity only to see her leaning against the pillar, her face bland and empty of all emotion, he noticed that since neither of them had changed clothes since their meeting with the Council, she bore the most skin out of everyone in the entire room.
From a small, offside platform to the left of the main one, a band dressed in robes of purest black began to play sad and sorrowful tunes on instruments Neo hadn't seen heard of before, though some had vague resemblance to things he'd seen in the Matrix. The music ushered the chattering crowds into silence as a dozen or so priestesses, priests, and even a couple of Councilors ascended onto the main platform. Five priestesses carried a single silver jug each and tenderly placed it at the edge of the platform, then stood back to join the rest.
"What are they?" Neo whispered in Trinity's ear, gesturing to the jugs in front of him.
Trinity said nothing, staring directly ahead of her and using the pillar beside her for support. It felt as if someone had poured cement down her throat, making it feel rough and heavy and taking away her ability to speak. Somehow, she managed to find her voice.
"They hold the ashes." She whispered back hoarsely, not taking her eyes away from the scene in front of her. "The burial ground in Zion was growing far too large, so the Council decided that the bodies of every deceased person must be burnt immediately upon arriving in Zion from now on."
Neo didn't reply, knowing he wouldn't need to. There were plenty more things he wanted to ask Trinity about the ceremony...about the other people gathered in the temple and how they knew or were related to the rest of the crew...if any of the women were Gina...who was the family of Tank and Dozer. But when he heard the tone in her voice, the scratchiness in the back of her throat that hadn't been there before, he knew that it was best to have complete silence. She needed to be left alone.
"Tonight, we gather here to mourn the deaths of four of the greatest soldiers fighting in the resistance." Neo jumped, having been far too preoccupied with Trinity to realize that the ceremony had began now that Hamann stood before the crowd, directly in front of the jugs. "Dozer, Switch, Apoc and Mouse each fought bravely and diligently to bring and end to this war and peace to our people. I am sure that they shall be missed by each and every one of us, and their legacies will live on in our hearts."
Neo noted that Hamman failed to list Cypher's name in his speech, nor did he fail to see that there were in fact, five jugs upon the table and not four, even if only four names were mentioned. Hamman stepped aside and his position was replaced by a priest, who held his hands out over the jugs and placed blessings upon them, while each person bowed their heads in silent grieving.
Losing interest in all that was happening, yet overcome by a sense of depression, Neo let his eyes wonder between the people to see that quite a few of them were crying softly to themselves, including two young women who stood right at the front of the temple beside two men and two children. He recognized one of the men as Tank, and figured that the rest must be his family, and his heart clenched in his chest when he caught sight of the two children standing with them, tears leaking down their cheeks.
Another person who caught Neo's attentions was Dwayne. He was standing alone somewhere amidst the crowd, with arms as wide, beefy and pink as hams folded across his chest. His face was a brilliant shade of red, and he was puffing heavily again. Only this time it obviously wasn't because he'd recently ran a long way. It was most likely because Hamann hadn't made mention to his best friend during the opening speech.
Suddenly, he heard a stifled sob beside him and turned sharply to his side. Trinity appeared to have not moved since he last set eyes on her, remaining as still as a statue. Only now, fine drops of clear watered tears were clinging to her long and delicate eyelashes, and her face was a paler white than what it had been when she first came in. He could tell that she was struggling and almost failing to keep her emotions hidden....knew that what Hamann and the priest were saying must mean so much more to her than what it did to him...knew that the rest of the crew were people she'd spent the eleven years of her life in the real world working with, and some she'd even known since the day they were unplugged. And all at once, he knew exactly what he needed to do.
Trinity tried to drown out the words of the priest. They were just stupid chants and blessings...they couldn't hurt her. Couldn't scrape through the chains she built around her heart and crack open the lock that she had thought only Neo could unlock. But if this was so, then why were the rims around her eyes so wet? Why did it feel as if her heart had risen into her throat and stuck there with cement? What the hell was happening to her? Flashbacks of her time spent with each separate crewmember sprung into her mind...the day Dozer had told her cryptically that he'd noticed something between her and Neo...the day Apoc and Mouse shared their first argument in the car on the way to unplugging the younger solider...the day she really pissed off Cypher when she landed on top of Neo in the Mess Hall (at least that was one happy thought)...the day Switch came into her room and comforted her after Neo missed his first jump...
No...I can't cry...I couldn't- wouldn't...I won't...Before Trinity could argue with herself inside her head any longer, she felt warm fingertips on her bare shoulder and turned sharply to see Neo standing beside her, watching her with concern. At first, she was so surprised by his sudden movement that she made no effort to hide her tears. It wasn't until after he had a proper chance to see each fine teardrop clinging to her long, dark lashes that she brought her free arm to her face to wipe them away. Neo grasped her wrist with his other hand, stopping her. Carefully, and without saying a single word, he slipped the hand resting on her shoulder round the back of her neck and let it find rest on the other one, so he pulled her against him tightly.
Too weak and emotional to protest (and figuring that everyone else was far too preoccupied with what was happening on the platform to notice them since they were standing towards the back), Trinity allowed him to pull her against his chest until she could smell his now familiar scent, and feel the soft material of his loose and flimsy cotton powder blue shirt on her cheek. His firm arms held her against him, and she silently thanked him for not breaking the silence between them, because she didn't at all feel in the mood for conversing now. Instead, he seemed to be able to give her comfort in a way she couldn't explain...like his mere presence was easing away the pain in her heart.
Finally the ceremony ended, and Trinity pulled away from Neo hurriedly before anyone could turn their heads. Taking his hand in hers and pulling him after her, the pair of them were the first to leave the temple. Neither took time to notice nor care that Dwayne had been watching their every movement during the ceremony, and saw Neo leave with nothing but bitter loathing lingering in his heart.
(o)
Trinity still wasn't feeling herself by the time they arrived in their room again. Frankly, she felt as if all she really needed was plenty of time alone...time to allow herself to let her heart become unlocked so she could fall down upon her bed and burst into a fit of tears and anger. But she wouldn't even think of doing so in front of Neo.
Why not? I was crying in front of him in the temple, wasn't I? She asked herself, pulling open the door to their room and leaving it open for Neo to follow. But that was unintentionally, and I didn't actually brake down into a fit of emotions.
As much as she felt the need to be alone, she knew that this was Neo's room too, and therefore she couldn't just tell him to get out and leave her alone. Instead, she sat down on the edge of the bed and looked up into his eyes.
He stood in the middle of the room, watching her. Just watching her with those warm, penetrating dark eyes of his that so easily tear her apart. It made her nervous...made her wonder if he was planning to try anything. And as much as she adored the way he would stare at her- his chalk white skin and short spikes of messy dark hair against the soft blue of his disheveled cotton clothes- she obviously wasn't in the mood to even consider a more 'intimate' situation between them occurring this night. Even if this idea had been poisoning her mind for some time; and making her wonder just where their relationship was leading.
Neo, however, was still not even daring to think about anything of the sort. He was merely watching her out of confusion, wondering both if she was feeling alright, and if so, what they could do to pass the time. He had to admit that after experiencing the shock of seeing Zion for the first time, and then of finally hearing the long awaited verdict of the Council only to find that they would not be separating him from Trinity (he was trying very hard not to think about tests for the time being), his body had been left physically exhausted. But he certainly wasn't mentally exhausted enough not to notice just how stunningly beautiful Trinity looked- still clothed in her tan coloured, halter neck Zionist gown with soft kinks in her ebony hair. At this time, both she and the bed looked incredibly inviting.
"Um....do you mind if I use the bathroom?" He asked meekly, gesturing to the bathroom door as he spoke.
Trinity shook her head, trying to force a smile that just wouldn't come. This did not slip Neo's attention and all at once, his face filled with both concern and uncertainty.
"Are you going to be alright?" He asked her quietly, taking half a step towards her. For a moment, he almost thought she was about to say that she wouldn't be, because her lips parted ever so slightly as if they were trying to form the word 'no'. But at the same time, both remembered that acting in this way simply wasn't her style or her character.
"I'm fine." She lied, this time managing to conjure up a small and feeble smile. Not entirely convinced, Neo left the room as slowly as possible, closing the bathroom door with a gentle click.
Once she was alone, Trinity neither moved nor uttered a single sound, still fearing that he may be able to hear her sobs through the metal of the surrounding walls, floors and doors. Although she couldn't deny that she wanted to cry, or even to punch something just to get her frustration out, maybe even just to think about those she had lost.
No...I can't...he'll hear me cry...and I already nearly did brake down in front of him once, and I don't plan to ever let that happen again. She knew she shouldn't bar herself from him and keep all her emotions hidden underneath her skin. But she had never been an open person and didn't intend on starting to do so now. Letting hints slip every now and then was fine, and releasing the more feminine side of herself (the one only he could provoke from her) was something she had decided to allow to happen every now and then. But she didn't want to turn weak overnight and let her emotions take control of her all the time. That was how she would loose her reputation, and her power. These were the two things she held sacred above all else, even Neo himself.
Slowly, her mind began to drift back to the ceremony held today. She had attended many similar ceremonies over time, but this one had been different. She had never expected to loose so many people at once, and all in the one day....and to loose Switch, one of her two closest friends. Her only female companion...the person she'd befriended since the day of Switch's unplugging. Together they had seen and dealt with so many things, from Amos's death to Neo's unplugging. Switch had been there through it all...and the saddest thing was that she never once completely opened up to her...never once told her how much she cared.
(o)
When Neo came out of the bathroom scarcely a few minutes later, the last thing he expected to see was Trinity sitting on the edge of their bed with tears streaking down her cheeks. He almost fell backwards into the bathroom when he saw her- hands resting limply by either side of her hips, feet steady on the floor and her back straight and well postured. Yet with silvery tears rolling down flushed cheeks, dripping from her icy blue eyes and blending with her matted hair, sticking it to her face.
Now that's something I thought I never would see. He thought to himself. Sure, a few tears in the corners of her eyes during the ceremony was expected...but literally bawling uncontrollably right in front of me? Surely, this can't be the Trinity I've come to know and love.
Although her sobs were muffled and quiet, she failed to notice Neo until he drew close to the bed, sinking down onto it directly beside her. She looked up at him, startled, and hurriedly tried to push the hair out of her face and wipe the tears from her eyes. But each time she wiped them away, fresh drops would leak out of the corners of her eyes and trail down her cheeks, eventually falling onto her lap.
For a while, Neo sat stiffly beside her, unsure of what to do. He hated seeing her like this...hated to see someone so strong, powerful, determined and self-assured as nothing more than a weak and blubbering mess before him. She was always the one who knew how to handle this sort of situation, not him. But now it seemed as if it had rested upon his shoulders to bring comfort to her again.
Carefully, he stretched out an arm and brought it to her cheek, tracing his finger across her cheekbone until he collected a single teardrop. She blinked at him confusedly, watching as he took his wet finger to his own face and placed the teardrop on his own cheek instead. The tear tickled his skin, and felt salty when it brushed against his lips.
He then wrapped the same arm around her bare shoulders, drawing her close to him and finding that she welcomed the support. She rested her head against the edge of his shoulder, her tears dripping down and staining his powder blue shirt. To Neo, she felt so weak....so light....so feeble, hardly anything like Trinity at all. In fact, if he had seen her like this a few weeks ago, he most definitely wouldn't have recognized her. Yet at the same time, the skin on her shoulders felt incredibly soft...almost like the skin of a baby's. Slowly, he began to rock from side to side, bringing her with him as he did so and hoping that this would somehow manage to calm her, and stop her body from heaving with the effort of containing rasping sobs.
The moment she felt his firm arms around her shoulders, her body began to relax. He pulled her close to him, allowing her to cry on his shoulder as he rocked her gently from side to side. Too depressed and enjoying the sensations she was receiving in return too much to pull away, she merely waited for her pulse to slow and her eyes to run dry. Leaving her with stale eyes, rasping breaths and a blotchy face.
"You wanna talk?" He whispered softly once she'd stopped crying. He stopped rocking her, but did not take his arms away from her, mainly because her body felt too feeble against his to be in any condition to hold itself up.
Trinity sniffed, shaking her head and raising a limp arm to frantically rub at her eyes, only increasing the red rims around them. Neo didn't see this, but felt her head move against him and therefore knew her reply.
"It's about them, isn't it? The others." He stopped himself, remembering that she didn't want to talk about it. "Sorry, you don't have to answer that question."
"It's alright." She whispered back, her voice hoarse from crying. "You're right, anyway."
Neo sighed, bending to place a tender kiss on the top of her head. He now realized just how terrible she must have felt throughout the past month- carrying all this mental stress and emotion locked away in her heart and never once letting it slip because she was afraid of damaging her reputation. But now because of this, all the emotions and feelings she had kept bottled up inside of her had come flowing out all at once by something as simple as the burial ceremony for the rest of the crew.
"Trinity, listen to me." He said, suddenly speaking sternly. "You can't keep everything hidden inside you forever. If you hold all your emotions inside of you and never find a way to express them, and only push them further and further away whenever they threaten to surface, then eventually they're going to burst out in an inward explosion of different feelings and sensations you won't be able to control- like what happened just now. That's why it's important for you to just...let yourself go every now and then. If you don't, you could end up causing yourself serious inward damage."
He paused to let his words sink in, and Trinity realized that he was right. She had a reputation to uphold, and she didn't want to abuse that by letting her feelings take control of her. That just wasn't what she did. But because she only pushed them deeper and deeper into her heart, a simple act or offset could cause her to loose control, and the emotions would come flooding out all at once, causing her to experience some sort of mental breakdown.
But how can I find a time just to let myself be free to feel? When will there ever be a time were I won't have to worry about keeping my reputation and still let my emotions be exposed?
"Just remember," Neo continued, as if he knew exactly what was going on inside her mind. "If you ever need someone to talk to...ever need someone who you can take your feelings out on...even anger if you want to...just come to me, ok? By telling me how you feel, you're not going to hurt or damage your reputation in any way. I mean, come on. Do you really think I'd just walk off and tell someone else about our own private conversations?"
Trinity let out a single breath of laughter, muffled by his shirt. Neo smiled, glad that he'd managed to make her feel better and also pleased that she'd understood what he'd been trying to tell her. Now that this had been settled, he was suddenly reminded of just how tired he was, and knew from the feel of Trinity's body that she felt the same.
"Trin?" He asked.
"Mmmm?" She said absent mindedly, enjoying being held in his arms.
"You want to get some sleep?"
She nodded, and once again, he felt her head move against his shoulder. He took his arms away from her and stood, allowing her to follow suit. He watched as she pulled back the flimsy white satin sheets while pulling off his shirt and letting it drop to the floor before sliding into the bed. She crossed to the closet to collect a change of clothes, and then made her way to the bathroom, and finally back to the bed, eventually lowering herself in beside him dressed in the black under-shirt and underwear she wore to bed on board the ship.
No words past between them, but both somehow felt that the situation was not suitable for sleeping in their usual position. Things felt much more intimate...much closer than they had been before. Instead, Trinity pressed her heavy head up against his bare chest, shuffling so that her body was drawn closer to his own. Neo let out a squeak of surprise, not having expected her to do this, but nevertheless wrapped both arms around her, drawing her in closer to him until they fell asleep.
(o)
A/N: I'm kind of having an off day. Something happened between a friend and I that made me really upset, and my dad is threatening to take me out of the school I love and move me into a crapper, cheaper place because he thinks it is a waste of money. To top it all off, exams are coming up and I have hardly studied at all! Some reviews would really help to make me feel better- especially some nice ones :)
Thanks for reading, please review!