Give Me That Blasted Ocarina!!
A fan fiction by RebelX
Disclaimer: "Zelda and all related indicia belong to him!" proclaimed the disclaimer, pointing to a random tree.
Nintendo's lawyers cocked their eyebrows.
A man behind tree chuckled under his breath, "heh heh heh…..suckers!"
"Get him, boys!" Ganon roared.
Nintendo's lawyers attacked.
Disclaimer whistled innocently.
A/N: "Ok, don't usually do shout-outs or anything, but I just have to say this. Can this story get any more stupid? Yes, PsychoSpiff01, yes it can" The Author cackles evilly. "Now, on to the chapter!"
Chapter 8: The Groups Separate
Post A/N: "Well, the title is kind of self-explanatory, but in this chapter the committees go off and do their thing. Group 1 is Skullkid and Nabooru (the special committee made to investigate transform masks) Group 2 is Link, Darunia, and Rauru (the special committee made to investigate Ruto's invasion of Lake Hylia) And Group 3 is Saria, Impa, Mido and Ganondorf (everyone who isn't in a special committee). The word GROUP followed by a number signifies a change in POV to the group specified by that number.
GROUP1
"Are you sure you know where you're going?" asked Nab, eyeing the Skullkid doubtfully.
"Of course! I know the way to Termina like the back of my hand."
"Really."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Then how come we've passed this exact same tree about five times now?" she pointed to a peculiar looking tree with moss growing into the likeness of Elvis Presley. It later sold on E-bay for 17,000 $.
"Aw, son of a…" Skullkid cursed, realizing they were lost.
GROUP2
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Are we there yet?"
"NO, DAMMIT!!" Link roared, finally silencing Darunia. They had barely continued in silence for five seconds when Rauru piped up.
"Can we take a break? I'm hungry!"
"You just ate fifteen minutes ago!"
"But now I'm hungry again!"
"Well too bad! We're not stopping!"
Darunia was inclined to disagree with him, as he then stopped walking. "My feet hurt."
Link's eye twitched.
Rauru also stopped walking. "I'm hungry"
"Oh, c'mon!"
"I'm not moving another inch until I've had a good ten minute break" Darunia said, and sat down.
"And I won't go another step until I've had some food" Rauru said, also sitting down.
"We aren't even out of the sacred forest meadow yet!"
GROUP3
"So…what do we do while we're waiting?" Impa asked.
"Why don't we go get Link's umbrella back?" Saria suggested.
Mido blinked, and raised an eyebrow.
"What?" asked Saria.
"How do you know about that?" inquired Ganon as he turned to Saria.
"Well….."
Flashback Time!!
Some Random Great Fairy held out her hands to the forest sage as she announced: "I now present you with one of the coveted narrator's balls!"
Saria's eyeballs widened.
"Er…..it's not what it sounds like."
"Right….."
"Anyways, this narrator's ball will allow you to utilize the seeing powers of the narrator. With this magic sphere, you will be able to see whatever you want. Just say the name of the person or place and it will show you what is happening in that person or place."
"Don't you mean in OR around? I mean, if you say the name of a person, it won't show the insides of that person, will it?"
"Actually, it will."
Saria stared.
"Of course, if you want to watch what is going on around a certain person you have to speak the name of the place that person is in."
"So if you don't know where that person is….."
"You're screwed."
End flashback!!
"Well, that explains why the narrator was having problems because they couldn't find Zelda" Ganon remarked.
"So, who wants to go get Link's umbrella back?" Saria polled.
"Do you know where it is?" asked Impa.
"Yup! I was just watching Nabooru and Skullkid when I spotted Kirby floating around nearby."
"…Kirby?" Mido dared to ask.
"It's a Looooooong story"
Group1
"Great! Now we're completely lost!" Nab snapped.
"CURSE YOU KIRBY!!" Skullkid roared, raising his fists to the sky.
Kirby's evil laugh echoed through the forest around them.
"A-ha! He went that way!" Skullkid said, tracking the source of the voice.
"Don't go chasing after him again! You'll just get us even more lost!" she shouted, before muttering "If that's possible….." under her breath.
"Aw, c'mon! If we can get back that umbrella, than at least we'll have something to show for our being hopelessly lost!"
And before she could stop him, the little Skullkid ran off in pursuit of the maniacal…..um…..whatever the hell Kirby is.
"Dammit!" Nab cursed, chasing after him.
"A-ha! I'm catching up to you you little-"
But then suddenly the Skullkid ran into a bar.
'Kong!'
"Ow!"
Apparently Kirby at least knew to duck.
"Oh shut up!"
I snickered.
"What the heck? What's this bar doing sticking out of this tree?" Nab queried.
"Maybe the tree's having an-"
'SLAP!'
"You sicko! Keep it PG13!!"
"Sorry!"
"Hey, something fell off it when you ran into it."
"Ooh, it's white-"
'SLAP!'
"Ow! I'm just stating the obvious!!"
The gerudo simply scowled at him as she bent over and picked up the white object.
Nab examined the white object, "It appears to be a banner of some sort."
"What's it say?" asked Skullkid.
Nab read it aloud: "Evil Hideout of Link Haters Anonymous
- This Way"
"Cool! Now we can go to that meeting!" Skullkid exclaimed happily, punching the air for joy.
"But we have to get to Termina!
"Well…..maybe someone there can give us directions"
"Hmm. I guess you're right. Let's go"
"Heh heh heh…..sucker!" Skullkid thought.
Group3
Ganon shuddered.
"What is it?" Mido asked.
"Evil laugh copying senses tingling!"
Mido raised an eyebrow, "Riiiiiiiiiight."
Group2
"Wait a minute!" Link gasped.
"What?" Darunia looked questioningly up at him.
"Why are we walking? We can warp to Lake Hylia!"
"Oh yeah huh."
A random passing deku scrub rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead.
After briefly wondering where the random deku scrub came from, Link took out his precious-
"My…..precious….."
O.O um…..anyways he took out his ocarina and played the Serenade of Water, vanishing in a whirl of blue light. The sages meanwhile transformed into balls of light and quickly departed in the direction of Lake Hyli-
"Wait a minute! The sages are heading for the mountains!" the random deku scrub cried, pointing.
Oh dear…..
A/N: "Well, that's it for today. I know it's short, and confusing, but I'm too lazy to completely rewrite the whole thing. Well, I'll try to crank out the next one even faster, and make it longer and funnier at the same time-"
"There is no try. Do, or do not." instructed Yoda.
"Er…..right. Well thank you everyone for reading and in some cases reviewing, and don't forget to review!"
"There is no forgetting. Review, or review not."
"Uh, yeah….."