A/N: Hey all! I know... I know... I should be punished for not updating since forever! This is all I have for now, i actually thought of holding out till it was properly finished or at least longer but I never really find the time to continue it so i though I'd update this for now. Hopefully the next installment will come very very soon

------------ 4 monthss later------------

In the cold autumn night, he walked the across the green grass, his little girl holding onto to his hand as they crossed the cemetery grounds.

He hadn't come to see her in such a long time, he had been busy… he knew it was no excuse but he also knew that she would understand. His dark princess… God, how much he had missed her. First he tried to forget, try to block her from his memory but as the days and months pass he knew he shouldn't… it would have been wrong. He couldn't, she had been a big part of his life. They both had. Both women he loved and both woman he lost… he'd let himself love again but he would never forget them.

Slowly he sat down in front of the familiar gravestone, letting his little girl sit on his lap. He bent over placing the flowers in the middle, tracing her name with the tip of his fingers. He took in a ragged breath as he tried to hold his emotions in, fighting back the tears that are threatening to fall. No matter how long it had been since he had lost her it still felt the same, it still felt painful but he needed to be strong for his little princess was with him, he needed to be strong for her.

"Prudence," she looked up at him from her position in his lap. "There's your mommy…"

"Mommy…?" she repeated the word much like she always did whenever somebody talked to her but with a little hint of a question. Like she didn't know what was in front of her could possibly be considered this word her father had said.

"Yeah… princess. Mommy… she loved you very much…" he trailed off as he felt tears pricked behind his eyes. He let a few fall wiping it with the back of his hand. As soon as he had gathered himself together, he took from his coat pocket a leather bound journal, opening it in front of him and Prudence.

He had made a habit of reading Drusilla's journal day to day since the day he acquired it. It was a new insight into her views… sometimes it made him cry sometimes it made him mad and sometimes it made him laugh nevertheless it was something to keep her fresh in his mind, something to remember her by.

Dated October 6, 1999…

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October 6, 2005

Buffy held the piece of paper in her hand as she sat outside the porch that night. The letter had been with her for the last couple of weeks, she hadn't wanted to read it because she knew whatever it was it'd just make her remember. But she doesn't need a letter to let her remember what she was desperately trying to forget… she couldn't.

She had continued to live her life; she had gotten a job at the local hospital and a nice little place in the quiet side of town. She couldn't have asked for anything more… but she was.

She had found the letter with her junk mail one morning, she had placed it in the middle of the coffee table and sat just staring at it, deciding if she would open it or not. She knew whom it came from and she was pretty sure she knew the message it held. In the end she decided not to open it, leaving it inside her kitchen drawer before she left for work. She told herself she'd get rid of it; she didn't want to read it… she didn't want to know. It was pretty easy for her to just throw it in with the trash, toss it into the fireplace or just simply lose it… but she didn't.

And now sitting in her porch, she didn't know what compelled her to get the letter from it's hiding place… after weeks of fighting with herself, did she want to read it all along… the answer to that was pretty obvious as she tore the envelope open.

First she saw a picture inside, it was of Prudence, taken on the lawn… she was in the middle of a pile of leaves just like when she was smaller the first week she had taken care of her.

As she stared at the picture, for the first time since she had left England she let the tears fall. Keeping herself together she placed the picture aside making a mental note to place it on top of her mantel with the other photographs she had held dearly. And as she opened the piece of paper, her eyes rapidly read the words he had written but only one thing stayed with her.

I said I'd only ask it once… but I asked you twice, so what the hell I'm gonna ask you again. Buffy… please come back, we need you… I need you.

to be continued...