For the Droogan family, it was Mack's night. As they had on every Friday night for the past three years, Cathy and James Droogan put their two small children, Katie and Jack, in their 1986 station wagon and drove 17.3 miles from their house to Mack's Diner. The restaurant was often noisy and crowded, and the food greasy and overpriced, but the Droogans had fallen into a deep yet comfortable rut; it was to be just another ordinary night of their ordinary lives.
Or so they thought.
James opened the door of Mack's to the typical Friday night scene: servers navigating their way through a maze of tables filled with loud hungry customers. One of them broke from the pack and approached the family.
"Welcome to Mack's. How many in your party?" The server asked.
"Daddy! That lady's so white!" Katie exclaimed.
"Honey, shush!" Her mother said.
The server smiled. "That's all right, ma'am, I hear that all the time. Follow me, please." She grabbed some menus and led the family to a nearby table. "My name is Shego, and I'll be your server tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?"
"Are you a ghost?" Jack asked Shego.
"Son, please!" James said. "There's no such thing as ghosts. Maybe she has that disease that makes you allergic to the sun. What was it called, Cathy? It was in that TV movie we saw."
"We'll have four cokes," his wife said quickly.
Shego was on her way to get the drinks when she was stopped by the elderly couple at one of her other tables. "Young lady, where's our food?" The old man barked. "We've been waiting over an hour!"
"Sir, I put your order in fifteen minutes ago," Shego replied. "It should be ready in a few…"
"It's been over an hour!" His wife snapped.
"I'm sorry, I'll go check on your food," Shego sighed. She retreated to the server area, where she was safe. From the customers, anyway.
"Oh Shego," a nasally voice cried out. Shego bristled at the sound. She reached into her apron pocket and grabbed Kitty, the stuffed cat she'd gotten at Paradise Valley; a few quick strokes of Kitty's soft fur calmed her right down.
Shego turned around. "Yes, Arnold?"
"Mr. Lane," the lanky young man sniffed. "I am Assistant Manager after all. That title demands respect!"
"Of course, Mr. Lane," Shego said. "I'm sorry."
"Shego, you know you're a valued employee," Arnold said. "But there have been a few complaints."
"Complaints?" Shego blinked.
"Nothing big, mind you," Arnold said. "It's just…the way your hands glow sometimes. It really freaks out the customers."
"But…"
"Shego, yesterday you burned a plate of potato skins to a crisp!" Arnold exclaimed. "Having those guys in radiation suits here every other day is bad for business! You need to cut it out. Oh, and you need to smile more. Happy employees equal happy customers!"
"Yes, Sir! Sorry, sir, it won't happen again," Shego said through gritted teeth. She stroked her stuffed cat again. "If you'll excuse me, I have customers." She hurried back onto the floor and into a whole new set of problems.
"Where's our food!" The elderly man yelled.
Before Shego could respond another customer chimed in. "Miss, for the third time we need our check!"
"Miss, where are our drinks!" James Droogan yelled from across the room.
"Of course, sorry!" Shego yelled. Like a pro she retreated back into the service station, grabbed the food and drinks and swooped back onto the floor, dropping off the check, food and drinks at their respective tables with the fluid motion of a falcon.
At the Droogan's table Shego whipped out a pen and paper. "Ready to order?" She asked.
"I'll have the grilled chicken," Cathy said.
"I'll have the barbeque onion ring burger with a side of cheese fries," James said.
"James…" Cathy began.
"I mean, I'll have a chef salad," James said.
Shego jotted down the order. "And for the kids?" She asked.
"I want spaghetti and meatballs!" Jack declared. His little sister was silent, her little face scrunched up in thought as she stared at the pictures on the children's menu.
"Do you want a hot dog?" Cathy asked her daughter. Katie didn't respond. "How about grilled cheese?"
"MISS!" The old man bellowed.
"The grilled cheese is really yummy," Shego said. "It comes with french fries."
"MISS! MISS!"
Katie continued to stare at the menu. "Come on, honey," her mother prompted. "The nice lady is waiting."
Finally the girl spoke. "I'll…have…a…"
"MISS!"
"Excuse me for a moment," Shego said. She hurried over to the elderly couple's table. "Yes sir?"
"This meatloaf is horrible!" The man snapped. "I ain't paying for it!"
Shego looked at his plate, where only a few crumbs of the meatloaf remained. "But sir, you ate the meatloaf."
"And it was horrible!" The man snapped.
"We're not paying for this!" His wife added.
"I'm very sorry," Shego sighed. She reached for the plates, but the man stopped her.
"Don't take those! We're not finished with them!" He yelled.
"But sir…" Shego began.
"Are you deaf!" The wife snapped. "Leave them!"
Too busy to argue, Shego hurried back to the Droogans. "Sorry about that. Have you made a decision?"
"We had," Jay huffed. "Then you took off!"
"Katie, tell the lady what you want," Cathy said.
"I'll have…" Katie began.
"Hey Shego, you have two new tables," the host said as he walked past.
"Thanks, Gary," Shego said over her shoulder. She turned back to the girl. "So, what did you want?"
"I forgot," Katie said.
Shego's lips formed a tight smile. "That's okay, honey," she said. "Might I suggest the hot dog?" She grabbed a hot dog platter from the adjoining table and slammed it down, breaking their table in half. The restaurant went dead silent, except for the sound of small children crying.
-
Many hours later Shego returned, completely drained, to her one-bedroom apartment and collapsed onto her bed. Outside sirens blared and the glow of neon lights shone through the windows. It was a far cry from the magnificent fortresses she was used to, but it was all she could afford. And after what happened that day, she might not be able to afford it for much longer.
Miraculously, she still had a job, but now she would work the day shift during the slow period between the lunch and dinner rush. Arnold had managed to smooth things over with the parents, who agreed not to sue in exchange for a lifetime of free meals. Shego figured they settled because they were afraid of her; the look on their faces was the same look she's seen countless times on her victims back in her villain days. She'd also seen the look on Arnold's face, which was probably why he didn't fire her.
Shego pulled out her stuffed companion. "You want to know something weird, Kitty? Part of me enjoyed it. It felt so…natural. Makes me wonder why I went straight." She looked into the cat's eyes. "I know, I know," she sighed. "I'm romanticizing things. Villainy brought me nothing but trouble. I had a bad day, that's all. Things will look better in the morning after a good night's sleep." Shego placed Kitty on the nightstand and closed her eyes.
Hours later Shego was awakened by the sounds of someone moving around in her living room. She slipped out of bed and opened her bedroom door a crack; someone dressed in black was struggling to pick up her TV.
"What do you think you're doing?" Shego exclaimed as she burst out of the bedroom.
The thief gasped and whirled around. "Stay where you are!" A nervous teenage voice cried from behind the ski mask. "Don't make me hurt you!"
"Yeah, right!" Shego laughed. "Kid, you really need to work on your technique."
"Huh?" The thief asked.
"You don't go for the TV first. It goes money, credit cards, jewelry, and then if you have time the TV, DVD, and stereo!"
"Yeah…that makes sense," the thief nodded.
"And if you're caught in the act, you need to be way more menacing. I didn't believe you were going to hurt me for a second!"
"You didn't?" The thief said with disappointment.
"Hell no! Your voice gave you away. Your tone was 'would you like fries with that?' when it should be 'come any closer and die!' And you need a weapon! A crowbar or a baseball bat...when you're a seasoned thief you won't need 'em, but until then you need all the help you can get!"
"Hang on, I gotta write all of this down," the thief said. He looked around. "Um, do you…"
Shego went to her desk and pulled open the junk drawer. "Here," she said, handing him a pen and a pad of paper. "Now pay attention, because I don't repeat myself…"
The two of them talked all night. Before they knew it, a new day had dawned.
"Sorry, Shego, but I gotta go," the thief said, looking out at the rising sun. "My mom will be really mad if I'm late for school again!"
"Go out the way you came in," Shego said. "For practice."
The young thief headed for the window; he was halfway out before he turned back to Shego. "Thanks for everything Ms…."
"What did we talk about?" Shego asked.
"Never tell them your name," the thief and Shego said together. The two laughed. "I have so much to learn." The thief sighed.
"You'll get it," Shego said reassuringly. "Just give it time."
The thief slipped away into the dawn. Shego let out a long sigh. She knew what she had done was wrong, yet it felt so right. So comfortable and familiar…
Shego shook her head; she was tired and her thoughts were too fuzzy to sort out, so she dismissed them and trudged off to bed. What she needed now was to get some sleep; her shift started a few hours and she couldn't afford any more screw ups.
-
"Now Shego, I trust there won't be any problems today?" Arnold asked.
Shego forced a smile. "No sir, Mr. Lane."
"Good." He looked Shego over. "You look good. Just take out that stuffed animal," he said as he pointed to Kitty, who was sticking out of her apron pocket. "It's unprofessional."
"But…" Shego hesitated. Kitty was like her security blanket; adjusting to her new life hadn't been easy, and he'd gotten her through some tough times. She knew it was silly, but for some reason she felt very uncomfortable working the floor without him.
"Shego, didn't we just agree there'd be no problems?" Arnold asked in his most condescending tone.
Shego grabbed Kitty, stroking him a few times to calm her nerves before placing him on a shelf. At least she'd be able to see him while she worked; she had a feeling she was going to need his support.
Three incident-free hours later it looked as though her fears were unfounded. Work had been very slow, with no annoying customers to test her patience. The same was true for her coworkers; Arnold had been in his office all afternoon, and the only other person on the floor was Claire, a quiet teen who kept to herself. If she could have a couple of weeks of stress-free shifts like this, maybe she could convince Arnold to give her the busy shifts again. Until then she could only cross her fingers and hope that nothing stressful happened between now and then.
The bell over the front door rang, signaling new customers. Shego grabbed some menus and hurried to the front; what she found there caused her heart rate to spike sharply.
"Hello, Shego," Kim said.
"Wow! You really are working here!" Ron exclaimed. "Great, now I owe Wade five bucks."
"Yes, I work here," Shego said evenly, struggling to stay cool. "Alert the press. So are you here to gawk or eat?"
"Eat," Kim replied. "Mind if we sit in your section?"
"Not at all," Shego smiled. She led them to a table, mentally cursing her bad luck. She wished she had Kitty. "Can I get you something to drink?" She asked as Kim and Ron slid into the booth.
"I'll have a root beer," Ron said.
"Shego, why are you working here?" Kim asked.
"Gotta pay the bills somehow. Do you want something to drink?"
"C'mon, Shego, it's me," Kim persisted. "I know there's no way you would ever go legit!"
"Well I have!" Shego snapped. Her cheeks began to burn. "Don't you have anything better to do than pry into my personal life?"
"Shego, I gotta say, your attitude is really dampening my enjoyment of the Mack's experience," Ron said.
Shego paused and collected herself. She was not going to get upset. "I'm sorry, Ron," she said.
Kim and Ron stared at her incredulously. "Did you just apologize to Ron?" Kim asked.
"You're not Shego!" Ron cried. "What kind of monster are you!"
"Will you quit being a spaz for once!" Shego snapped. She needed Kitty. "I'm just trying to earn an honest living here! Now are you going to order or what!"
"Shego, you have to admit this is a little odd," Kim said. "Now why are you working here and living in a tiny apartment when you could be making a fortune as a criminal!"
"I…just…" Shego sputtered, trying to think of a reason. "I was tired of crime. I wanted a change, that's all!"
"Makes sense," Ron nodded. "After so many humiliating failures it's only natural to give up and try something else."
"I…I gotta go!" Shego sputtered. She hurried into the back to get Kitty; to her horror, she saw him in the clutches of her coworker Claire.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" She cried.
Claire stared at Shego with the look of a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm…I'm sorry Shego!" Claire stammered. "He's just so cute I had to hold him…"
"GIVE ME MY KITTY!" Shego yelled.
Claire threw Kitty in Shego's direction, but in her panicked state her aim was way off; Kitty landed in a deep fat friar and quickly sank under waves of boiling oil. Shego ran over and pulled the basket out of the friar, dumping its contents onto the counter. But she was too late; among the half-cooked fries laid a messy lump of fur and fabric. Suddenly Kitty burst into flames with a loud POP. Shego quickly pushed him into the nearby sink and turned on the tap, drowning the mini-inferno. When the smoke cleared she picked up the remains and stared at them in despair; that's when she noticed something strange sticking out of his fur. She pulled it out and upon closer examination saw it was the warped remains of a microchip. Seeing that chip stirred something in Shego; it was as if a fog had been lifted and she was thinking clearly for the first time in weeks.
Arnold ran in. "I head shouting. What happened?" He stared at the smoky mess in front of him. "Shego, did you do this!" He asked accusingly.
Shego turned around and grabbed Arnold by his collar. She lit up her other hand and raised it menacingly. "Yes, Arnold" she said coldly. "What are you going to do, fire me?"
"I…well…I…" Arnold stammered.
"Well, don't bother. I quit!" Shego let Arnold go, pulled off her apron and marched out the back door. Once in the alley she took another look at the chip in her hand; slowly that hand curled over the chip and formed a fist.
"Okay, Lord Adderley," She hissed. "You had your fun. Now it's my turn."
TBC…