Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel.

BJ – The roof is fun. Weeeeeeeeeee! Oz rocks. The concept of making Remy run all over the place in ruby-red high heels rocks even more.

BlkDiamond – Yeah, there are kittens in this chapter. Thanks for the idea!

JenniferJ – Sinister is probably my favorite Marvelverse character. His half-villainous, half-saintly disposition and intelligence make him so interesting. Remy is hot, but there are really so many more unexplored facets to the Sinister character.

My anonymous readers:

While I love the fact that so many of you are enjoying this story (it's my most successful fic yet by far), I'd love it if more people left me comments. I don't bite, really. I did this one time, and it was because I was asked to do so. And I bit a dog once when I was little as vengeance because it bit me first. But other than that, you have no fears! So, when you get to the end of this chapter, I fully expect feedback from you guys.

Chapter 6 – The Touchy-Feely Chapter

"Well, Remy, I don't think it's your fault." Sinister said, staring at the lab report. "Your mutation apparently causes you to have a ridiculously high sperm count, five times the normal amount. Also, an abnormally high percentage of those live for a long enough period."

"So?" Remy said.

"You could fertilize a sack of bricks." Sinister said.

"DADDY!" Liz whined, offended.

Sinister bite his lip. "Sorry, Princess. Could you leave? This is really awkward for me." Liz sulked and stomped out, leaving the two men alone in the lab. "Good Lord, I really cannot handle those moods of hers anymore." He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "I love her, but I'm going to kill her…What were we talking about, Remy?"

"Remy ain' interested in masonry." Remy replied. "So what da problem?"

"Liz, most likely." Sinister scowled. "She probably has some hormonal issues."

Remy nodded. "Dat 'xplains a lot." Liz had been crying and whining for weeks about having a baby.

"Indeed." Essex said, smiling briefly with Remy, who he honestly pitied, and, on many levels, commiserated with. "Women are very emotionally sensitive about the issue, Liz is no exception. In fact, she is more or less a textbook example, sadly."

"So what y'gonna do?" Remy asked.

"The easiest solution would be to kill you, but then Liz's whining would only continue longer. It is in all of our best interests to pursue a common goal, even if I would rather hang myself. I will give Liz fertility aids, which will hopefully clear up the problem." Essex hated seeing Liz sad, but he had also become highly annoyed by her mood swings.

"Anyt'ing else?" Remy said, equally hopeful that the treatments would work. Liz was almost impossible to live with. She would practically ambush him with sex several times a day, which kept him distracted and a little paranoid. The day before, he'd been in the kitchen trying to find something to eat when he suddenly found himself half naked in the pantry.

"Yes." Essex said. "Be supportive, or I will kill you."

Remy cocked an eyebrow, a bit confused by his threat. Essex sat down. "When I was young, and newly married to Rebecca, we had similar problems."

"Y' were married?" Remy said, as if it was difficult to believe.

"Oh yes. Lovely girl, but that is not the point. She was really upset that she could not conceive, and went through a phase nearly identical to the one Liz is in. Women are not like us, they tend to bind their entire purpose to their ability to bear children." Sinister said. "And, regardless of the fact that most women serve no other real purpose, it is important that we be nice to them, or they subject us to their mood swings."

Remy chuckled at the admission. Sinister wasn't interested in helping them – he just wanted Liz to stop acting insane. "How'd she feel 'bout y'bein a crazy scientist? Did y'have a kid wit her?"

Essex nodded. "Yes, after about three years, she got pregnant and we had a son. His name was Adam. Unfortunately, Adam had several severe birth defects, including hemophilia, and no one could help him, not even me. That's when I became more involved with the experimental side of medicine. He died right after his fourth birthday." Essex sighed and rested his head in one of his hands. "Someday, you will understand why I choose this life; you will live for your child. For smiles and hugs and all the other wonderful things that accompany fatherhood. I would have taken his place, Remy. I would have done anything to help him. In the end, it wasn't enough."

They were silent for a moment. "Dat's why y'made friends wit Apocalypse? What happened t'Rebecca?"

Essex leaned back against the wall. "She became pregnant again and I more or less went mad trying to find a way to cure the defects that killed Adam, knowing that there was a chance the baby would have them. Rebecca found out I was using humans to experiment on them and went into early labor. They both ended up dying." He stood up and towered over Remy. "I crossed the line for my family. I expect no less from you. Ethics, X-Men, causes…none of that should ever matter. Family always comes first. I have no regrets; sometimes, I wish the consequences had been different, but I did what I thought was best for my son."

Remy nodded. "Dis da first time Remy had a real family. I miss da Guild sometimes, but dat ain' really Remy's idea of a good place f'kids. I'll do my best." He looked over at his father-in-law, who was clearly upset about having spoken about his family. Biting his tongue, Remy did something that surprised them both. "Remy only gonna say dis once, s'listen." Essex protectively crossed his arms. "Y'done a good job wit Liz. Best girl Remy ever met, and he t'inks some o'dat come from you."

They were silent until Essex suddenly laughed. "Remy, I appreciate that. How much did it hurt you to say that?"

Remy smirked. "More dan you'll ever know, Sinny. Y'should say somet'in' nice about Remy now."

Sinister frowned. "No."

"Awww..C'mon, y'know y'love Remy."

"I would love you quite a lot more if you were interred to the ground." Sinister replied.

Mew!

"What was dat?" Remy said.

"Last minute efforts to change Liz's mind." Sinister walked towards his bedroom and showed Remy a basket filled with tiny white kittens. "I dislike cats, they are so curious by nature. They get into everything, not unlike a small child."

"Ain' dat a deep observation!" Remy said, sarcastically. "Cats are curious!"

"Shut up, Remy." Essex said, picking up one of the kittens. "Leave me alone, I have work to do."

"Work? Remy knows y'just goin' to play wit dem kittens." Remy replied. "Big bad Sinister. Mew! Mew!"

Essex put the kitten down. "You know, Remy, one of these days you are going to act like an ass and I am just going to turn around and kill you."

"Oui, den y'gonna be stuck wit Liz in da god of all pissy/sad/weird moods. Have fun, mon ami. Remy won' care, cause he'll be dead." Remy said, smirking.

"Good point." Essex said. "Better point: I hate you and wish death upon you."

Remy snickered. "But y'love kittens and bunnies? And chick flicks?"

Essex grimaced and realized that Liz had been talking to Remy. "I miss the days when you were terrified by my very name."

"Y'like me better now?" Remy got on his all fours and started crawling around on the floor. "Mew, Mew, Meow, Reoooowr! Oh, rub Remy's belly! Scratch his chin! Purrr!" Essex crossed his arms and stood up, staring at Remy in horror. "Remy's a scared wittle kitty!" They both froze when they saw Liz standing there, staring at them.

"I don't even want to know." Liz said, turning around and walking away from them.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Next Chapter: Sinister dumps someone else's vomit on Remy, Liz has a girl's night in, and Remy makes a new friend.

C'mon…leave me a review. Pretty please?

It would make me happy. All of you anonymous ghost readers should at least make yourselves known.