A.N.: This chapter is dedicated to Llama Duck for being the first reviewer to the last chapter. I would like to give special thanks to Koizak, BillTheponyLlama, and nikki007 for reviewing to every chapter so far.
LlamaDuck: I had thought about he plot of the story, but not about the details or the ending, so now I'm stuck trying to think of some. It's kind of hard sometimes.
nikki007: Yes, Jesse is very hot. And sorry it took me so long to update, please forgive me!
CeeCeeCaffeine: Yes, Suze cried. I know, it's a shocker. Lol.
Koizak: Yes, making the very dead Suze come alive would be a good thing. But I'm not one for happy endings; see other story ending for details.
samantha: Sorry it took me so long to write, but I have to work a lot.
BillThePonyLlama: Yes, unclean Jesse would be sexy, especially to Suze. You know, his GIRLFRIEND. But, cliffies are fun and I will continue to use them, for they are fun.
KatieKat19: Yes, Paul IS being good, and that can be a problem in itself. And that was a great idea, I don't know what I'm doing yet, but thanks for your help.
maliaphire: You should read the other books before you read many of the fanfics on this site. You're not going to understand most of the stories without the details you get from 4-6.
Love and Pain
The Choices We Make
Jesse's POV-It has been a year since the last time I had seen Susannah's face. Yes, I had seen pictures and had pictures of her everywhere, but I sill can't see her. I can see ever other ghost on the face of the earth, but never her. It is a part of our curse. At least, I think it's a curse. I don't know what other people would call it.
I got into medical school. Father Dominic and Susannah's family helped me out with the tuition and necessities. Now I spent all my time either studying for school or trying to find a way to bring Susannah back to me. I miss her so much. Sometimes I just sit and pretend that she is sitting in my arms smiling up at me with her luscious lips and cute button nose.
But it is always pretend. Always my mind playing tricks on my, as they say.
I let myself go. I hadn't gone to classes or even gone out of my dorm room in days. I hadn't even cleaned myself in that time. I found a book that had interested me beyond belief. I spent days translating the test from Latin. The 150 years I spent learning the language weren't for naught. Anyway, the book explained the effects of soul transference and other such important details. Over the past year, I have researched the angels that changed us and tried to find a way around it. I was coming close, so close, that I couldn't stop for anything.
Then Slater came. Evidently, Susannah had become worried about me and gone to him. He would like to help me and Susannah, but I would like to know his motives behind the façade.
But Susannah was in this very room with me. While I was sitting on my bed, she was twirling in the chair over by the desk. I looked in that general direction trying to see her even though I knew it was pointless.
Slater walked over and brought her back into our conversation. With both Slater and I on the issue, we had gotten effectively further. We might have even found a way that Susannah could come back.
"Suze, we have an idea that could bring you back to life."
The chair stopped swiveling and Slater seemed to be in a conversation with himself. I knew that he was talking to Susannah, but for anyone who by chance was to walk into the room, it would look like Slater was insane. Not that I'm saying he's not…
"Slater, I think it would be best if we could all have a three-sided conversation." He knew what I was asking. He also knew that it was also for selfish reasons that I was asking him. But in any case, he nodded and concentrated until I could see Susannah in her faint glow.
She squealed, "Jesse!" Before running across the small room and throwing herself on me. I didn't mind in the least. I hugged her tight to my chest and kissed her head while murmuring Spanish endearments in her hair. I heard a cluck from the other side of the room and I lifted my head from Susannah's shoulder to look at Slater.
"Suze, you have a little over an hour, so I suggest that we have this conversation while we can."
She nodded against my chest and started to pull up. I pushed up on her so I could sit up. When she jumped on me, she knocked us both into a lying position on the bed. I sat her on my lap and kissed her for the first time in a year.
I missed her more than I missed being alive in the 150 years I was a ghost. I put my arms around her back and pulled her closer to me. I pulled her as close as I could. Her hands automatically went to the back of my neck and held tight against the hair that had grown there. I moved my hand to stroke her back and the skin that was exposed near her hip. I whispered into her lips, "Querida, I love you more." Susannah made a small noise at the back of her throat that pulsated me to go further, but just as my hand was staking out new territory, we were forcefully pulled apart.
"Didn't I just say that we needed to talk? And you two really didn't need to do that in front of me." Slater's voice was hard and from one look at his face, he was trying to hold in his anger. It just wasn't working too well.
"Paul, I haven't been able to kiss Jesse in a whole year. Give us a break. Now, what did you want to talk about?" She had been pushed to the other side of the room when Slater pulled us apart. Now, she was seating herself comfortably in my lap and I instinctively put my arms around her.
He rolled his eyes and sighed, "We might have found a way to change you back."
Susannah raised her perfect eyebrows and said, "Whatever you're planning isn't going to work. Gabriel and Loki would have been made sure that there wasn't any way to outdo the change. And anyway, it was my choice. You all need to accept that."
"Querida, I can't accept that. I love you and I can't live without you. We need to find a way around it." Hearing her say those words had almost been like a physical blow to me. I didn't want to accept them and I wasn't going to.
She shook her head sadly and said, "I love you too Jesse, but some things were meant to be. Maybe we're just…not."
Another physical blow. Slater saw my face and knew that there was no way I was going to be able to talk. He started talking to Susannah about something, but I wasn't listening. I could only hear the words that she said repeating themselves in my head. I slowly and deliberately pushed her off me and walked over to the window that oversaw some of the campus.
Susannah walked over to me and put a hesitant hand on my arm. "Jesse? Listen, I love you, and I don't want it to be true, but it might be, you never know." I shook her off and turned away from her, from the pain of her words.
Slater said, "Let's just get back to the point before time runs out. We think, well actually Jesse thinks, that if we call upon the Angels, that they might be able to turn you back. You said yourself that nothing short of them could help us. Maybe we could make another exchange."
A.N.: So, I know it's kind of short and everything. But, I hoped you liked it. Thanks for the ideas to the people who reviewed with some, but I ended up coming up with my own idea anyway. It just took me a while. Review for me and I might make the next chapter full of fluff.