Author's note: Please be aware that this whole story line actually takes place after the anime, in a completely different direction to the manga.The events may hint slightly to the FREAK chip infestation, for reasons of continuity, but this is my interpretation on how events unfold post Order 13 in the anime.

Little bit of fun with an AaxS idea suggested by a reviewer. Lending itself more than a little bit to the BuffyxSpike of Season Six. Also explains a little more why Anderson can't seem to fight the 'new' Seras. Could be a load of crap, could be on to something here. You decide. R&R please! (Still being tweaked but I'll publish it now anyway)

Chapter Four: Kiss Off

Alexander Anderson had not heeded Seras' words; his pride and his near fanatical duty to rid the world of foul creatures of the night had prevented him from doing so. Against the orders of Maxwell, he stubbornly returned to England with one singular purpose on his mind: to send that bitch to Hell. Then, if he felt like more fun, he would take care of that Alucard, too. Yes, that would most certainly be the end for Hellsing, to eliminate her vile servants. Moreover, he would make an entrance to beat them all, too. Oh, yes, he would do this in style. He nimbly leapt over the walls of the Hellsing manor; casually tossing a bayonet into the skull of the soldier who attempted to challenge him. With a maniacal grin, he burst in to the door of the manor, splintering wood peppering the hallway.

'Draculina!' he yelled. 'Come oot, wee lassie, and face me for the last time!'

'Whose last time would that be, Father?' came a cute feminine voice at the top of the huge staircase. Seras looked down at him mockingly. 'Yours, I presume?'

'Aaaaaagh!' Anderson charged up the stairs toward her, brandishing bayonets. 'Vile whore of Satan!' He cried. Before he could reach her an all too familiar gun barrel looked him right in the eye.

Dare you come into this place, Paladin? The nerve you have astounds me!

'Mah fight's no' wi' yeh, vampire! Ah seek the girl.'

My Jackal has much need to quarrel with you, Paladin!

'Alucard!' Seras shouted. 'Let him be. This is between him and me.'

'Listen te her, Alucard. Ah'll get roun' te yeh soon enough.'

A charming smile played across Alucard's lips. He lowered his Jackal.

'Step aside, Alucard.' Seras insisted. 'Step aside.'

Fine. The elder vampire did as he was asked, and let Anderson pass.

'What the fuck is he doing here?' Integra demanded angrily, running into the hallway with Walter in tow. 'You have crossed the line, Anderson. The Vatican will hear of this.'

'And so they shall, Miss Hellsing.' The barmy priest raised his bayonets above his head and a thousand holy seals flew from somewhere within him, followed by a thousand bayonets, stapling each one to the walls around the manor. 'Ah shan't be beaten again, yeh mark mah words!' Again, he ran up the stair toward Seras. Instead of plunging his bayonets into soft, female flesh, he passed through thin air and collided with a priceless painting; as Seras leapt into the air and neatly pirouetted to land gracefully behind him.

'My Monet!' yelled Integra.

She unsheathed her sword and lunged for the Paladin. He quickly turned and deflected the attack with a bayonet, but Seras kept her distance by leaping backwards.

'Nimble wee lassie, Ah see!' spat Anderson, 'Pah!'

He let fly a barrage of bayonets. Seras returned some with her sword, somersaulted over others, and caught one in her hand.

'Shit!' she hissed as it burned her skin. She dropped it quickly, and turned to see a final bayonet fly for her. She was not fast enough to dodge it.

'Shit!' she spat again as it impaled her left shoulder.

POLICE GIRL! Shouted Alucard from the bottom of the stair, cocking his Jackal.

'No, Alucard!' she yelled back, hastily pulling out the bayonet and flinging it to the floor. The Paladin was advancing on her like a wolf stalking its prey. She held out the sword defensively, and looked right at Anderson.

'Like your arms, father – are they new?' she quipped. Anderson, enraged, ran toward her, striking downward with his blades. She stopped them with the sword and kicked him in the stomach. She whirled behind him and attempted to drive her sword into him. He swept her legs out from underneath her with a kick and bore down on her. She blocked again, and the two were locked in a struggle, each pushing against the other.

'What is the meaning of this?' Integra demanded, her eyes darting between Walter and Alucard. 'Why has that man burst into my house?'

'Erm…' Walter mumbled.

This battle is the police girl's. Alucard chimed in. We must not interfere. If she is to prove herself, she must fight the Paladin alone.

Integra looked up at the struggling pair, grunting and straining to weaken the other's resistance. She sighed.

'I suppose this has something to do with –'

'Yes, Sir Integra.' Said Walter. 'It does. Obviously being beaten by a girl has hurt the Paladin's pride.'

Integra shot the butler a dirty look.

'I mean, in his view, um…' he vowed never to make a sexist remark to Integra again. 'Well if you don't need me, I'll be…'

'Stay here.' Integra ordered.

Anderson's eyes were filled with anger, and Seras could see it. She stared right into those eyes, burning with fire and the uncontrollable desire to win. She could not bear to let herself be stricken down by this man. She summoned up the memory of poor Gareth. It was enough. With new anger-fuelled strength she kicked Anderson off, and pinned the stunned priest to the wall with the sword.

'Ah, bugger it,' the priest murmured. Seras leaned in close to the priest. Anderson tried to slip off the sword but she slammed him hard into the wall. Her expression was grim.

Anderson was staggered by the fire and passion in this little girl's unbeating heart. She truly was a woman of great strength, fuelled by revenge and rage. He could not grasp just why he was unable to defeat her, why he seemed to let her dominate him like that. He had torn vampires to shreds with much ease before – Hell; he'd even pasted Alucard on occasion. Why was he so weak and stupid around her? It was frustrating. Seras leaned in closer, almost nose to nose with him, and he knew she was about to taunt him further. Suddenly he felt drawn to her. She slammed him into the wall like a rag doll, and though he knew he could knock her head off in a second, he couldn't do it. There was a feeling inside him which he had not felt for a very long time, which grew in him, and stopped him from wanting to fight her.

She turned him on.

Oh, God, no, please don't let it be, he thought to himself.

God might well have been looking the other way. He leaned his head forward and pressed his lips against hers. They were soft, sweet, and the feeling made him press his mouth harder to hers. Seras closed her eyes.

'Tell me this is not happening.' Said Integra, wide eyed.

'Okay, Sir Integra – this is not happening.' Said Walter, similarly astounded.

You humans are disgusting… Said Alucard, unimpressed.

Anderson put his hands on Seras' shoulders and embraced her. It was more of a thrill for him when the young vampire kissed him back. Their tongues caressed, and her hands held the Paladin's head gently in the macabre scene.

Seras' eyes snapped open, as did Anderson's, and she shrank back, horrified. Anderson would have done the same if he wasn't pinned to the wall.

'What the bloody hell was that about?' They said in unison.

K-Click.

The Jackal appeared by Anderson's head, attached to the long arm of Alucard, who looked at Seras, then the priest, in disgust.

You are supposed to be a man of the cloth, Judas Priest. You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Police Girl, this is over. The Paladin will leave now. He pressed the Jackal into Anderson's temple. Won't you?

Anderson humbly pulled the sword out, and stood up. 'Aye, vampire. Ah think mah stay here was a little over long.'

Under the watchful eye of Alucard's Jackal, Anderson timidly skulked down the stairs. 'And a good evening te yeh, Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing.'

'I'll be sending the bill for the door to the Vatican.' She retorted coolly.

They all watched him leave, shaking his head in disbelief. They all shook their heads in disbelief also.

'Right, then,' said Seras, starting to scurry off.

'Seras Victoria,' boomed Integra, 'I want a word with you.'

So what did you make of it? There may be more (and better, probably) stuff coming soon. All suggestions for Chapter Five are truly welcome.